My boyfriend doesn't call/text as much as he used to - is he losing interest?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. We would non stop text each other in the beginning then we got into a pattern of me texting him good morning, him calling me when he'd wake up, then again on his way to work, texts throughout the day and me calling him to say good night (he works evenings). About a month or so ago, things changed where he just wouldn't call. Just respond to my morning text. Sometimes I'd neglect to send the text and he'd call upon waking asking if things were OK. Now if I do that he doesn't react that way. We also got into an argument recently where he was basically telling me he'd be to tired for sex and I got upset because we only see each other once a week (we used to see each other every 3-4 days in the beginning). He said I put pressure on him because I want it all the time. He also had trouble getting it up one night (was really drunk) but he got worried and embarrassed I ended up crying asking if there was someone else and he cried and asked me why I always doubt his love for me. Is this normal for a guy? I'm automatically thinking he's getting it else where. Did I do something wrong? He does tell me he loves me through text and in person and always upon ending a call no matter who is around. He does talk about having kids, being married. He just doesn't reach out as much as he used to (yes id always wait for him to reach out because I don't want to bother him), doesn't share as much of his day to day, sometimes will ask what I'm up to, does make an effort to see me on one of his days off. Please help.

[jeshika]

don't stress it to much, over thinking can get you in a bad place, he has most likely entered a comfort zone where he knows that he has you and shouldn't have to worry anymore. that was where I was in my last relationship, but I like you over thought, was sure he was losing interest, and in a desperate attempt to save myself from heart break I left him. biggest mistake of my life, luckly he truly did love me and 2 years after the break up and after giving us the time and space to figure everything out, he and I are pretty much back together, (just about) and stronger than ever, but came really close to losing him for good when I tried to date someone else because I thought he was done with me, but that's a story I don't want to get in to.

Moral of the story, don't think so much as feel, take some time turn off your brain and think about how you feel, and go with that.

[Asker]

Thanks Jeshika. I know over thinking can be dangerous. I told him last night that I know how much he loves me and that I am happy with how our relationship has grown. Told him I respect his space and his hobbies but apologiezed for any neediness or negativity which he was surprised because he never thought I was.

[FutterwackenMcSappin]

Uh, yeah. You're doing the "woman thing" and over-thinking your relationship toward destruction.

The muthafu--a's a man (though I'm doubting this with the crying thing) NOT freakin' Denzel Washington where his every move is going to be perfect everyday. And you being as old as you are should know this. If you don't then the both of you are in trouble. He needs to stop being a p**** trying to explain himself. YOU need to realize that this is reality and your relationship is only as exciting as you (the woman) makes it.

But don't expect him to freakin' Austin Powers four days out of the week. Just keep your weight down, serve a decent meal every once in a while and get some hobbies.

[Asker]

Definitely over thinking I know I have a terrible tendency to do so and he's pointed it out too. I cook for him all the time make him really delicious meals, dress up and do all the fun and freaky sex stuff too guess that's why I figure I'm doing everything right but ignoring the fact that I read too much into EVERYTHING. See he's known to be a player and I had an issue w his ex early in the relationship and have my own trust issues from prior relationships.

What do you suggest I do?

[FutterwackenMcSappin]

Well, that's information you didn't provide before. Now I see why you would have him in the suspect column. As for his ex, if that is done then leave it there. As for your issues with the previous relationships, why use damaged material on your new material? You don't look at wrong problems to solve new ones. You learn from wrong problems, and remember the warning signs and THEN act accordingly. That's how you deal with his player reputation. Don't condemn him out of fear. ==>

[FutterwackenMcSappin]

==> Do it from fact. That's hard to do when you're scared of the answer. I'm sorry if this seems a lot like a PSA. But I'm speaking from experience. Guys get played just like women, and we don't want to believe what we're told and (eventually) find out for ourselves either.

So control your fear. Don't voice fear. No likes it when they know you don't trust them; especially from suspicion. Pay attention and you should make it.

- Luck to you. -

[Asker]

Thank you for your insight. You are right suscpicion and fear can be deadly. What is PSA though?

[FutterwackenMcSappin]

LoL, PSA = Public Service Announcement

Short video clips of celebrities giving useful (if not obvious) bits of information on non-profit network channels. Like PBS or Public Access channels.

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily, he may just be going through some stressful/busy times.

[Asker]

i know every since he got his new puppy (he's obsessed w dogs) he has been this way. He has apologized for being busy

[6Paul11]

Why not ask him what's up?

[Asker]

I did a few weeks ago. Asked him if he was withdrawing and he said he wasn't just been busy/occupied w new dog stuff. Said he loved me.

[Anonymous]

Just let him chase you and trust him.

[Asker]

How do you let a Boyfriend chase you? I thought that only takes place in the begining of the realtionship?