Am I just her tennis buddy?

[Anonymous]

There's a girl I used to work with for a short while. I found out we both play tennis, so I said we should play some time. She was up for it. So over the span of the next couple of weeks I asked her twice to play. Both times she was out of town, but told me that she was still up for playing and offered alternative days (which ended up not working for me).

So, despite myself, I gave it one last chance and asked her a third time...and she agreed. She came and played that very night. I was a little disappointed because that meant I wasn't really on her mind since she wasn't doing anything and hadn't texted me and said "hey, let's finally play". But she did drive over to my neighborhood, in fact, which is 40 minutes from her house. I thought it was fun.

When she agreed, I sent her a text, joking "loser pays for drinks afterwards" to which she didn't respond. She still came and we had fun. At the end, I tried to think of whether I should ask her for ice cream or something, but couldn't think of anything so we parted ways.

About an hour after we parted ways I got a text from her. She said thanks for playing and it was fun. I then told her that next time we played, I'd show her the lake near my house (since she'd never been in my neighborhood before). There was no response.

It's been two and a half weeks since then. I haven't heard from her since.

Should I even bother asking her to play again?

[Anonymous]

You should also ask her to play again. If she didn't have fun, she shouldn't have texted you that she was. Perhaps, she's just really busy that's why she can't text you even once.

[Asker]

the whole not texting thing bothers me because, even if she's busy, it kind of indicates lack of interest.

[Anonymous]

Personally I'd just leave it alone. She seems not really interested and going from your words, I kinda think she only did it to get it out the way. Sorry man

[Asker]

you mean, just played tennis just so that she can say we did it? Why even text me afterward that she had fun?

[Opinion Owner]

Common courtesy. Like if I hang out with friends, we always text each other we had fun.

I mean I can't say why shy isn't following up with you but maybe she got tired of you asking and wanted to shut you up. There's a number of possibilities honestly and that's just the one I personally think makes the most sense going off your info

[Asker]

well, I mean, I asked three times over a span of a month and every time she would offer an alternative day to play. If she wanted to shut me up, she could've just ignored me right? Especially since she doesn't see me every day anymore.

I mean, what you're saying quite possibly is true. I'm just trying to understand what happened. No girl has ever texted me so soon after hanging out saying that she had fun, but as you say, it looks like it's common courtesy.

[barfi]

i dnt see why not! its not like she is gone hit you with a ball or something :)

[Asker]

But it's true I haven't heard from her all this time. Even after the lake comment

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Go ahead and play if you want. I don't think it sounds like she's that into you for dating, though.

[Asker]

Not saying you're wrong, but can you tell me why you think that?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Because she's not responding to your offers to meet up for things other than tennis. If you're not sure, the next time you play her (if there is one) - as you're finishing your game say "hey, want to go grab a bite to eat" (or something like that). I understand you'll be sweaty - so you don't want to go 'out'...but somewhere she won't mind how she looks. - then you'll know your answer.

[Asker]

yeah, I see what you mean. the whole drinks thing was kind of a joke...like we made plans to play and as she was heading over, I said "whoever loses, pays for drinks after!" I was thinking of maybe showing her the lake by my house after the next time we play. Will only take like 10 minutes and it won't matter how she looks.

Do you think I should even bother texting her to play if I want more? We're going on 3 weeks now with no contact.

I don't know why she'd bother texting me she had fun

[Asker]

so soon afterward if she didn't want to meet up again.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Try one more time. Ask her for a tennis 'date' on a specific day/time. What do you have to lose? If she doesn't respond, then I'd consider it over.

[Asker]

call it a date?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Invite her just for tennis and a walk to this lake. Then based on her actions, if you feel she's into you, ask her out on a real date after you're done with tennis.

[Anonymous]

You should really ask her out again.
She really seems interested.

[Asker]

Why do you think she's interested?

[Anonymous]

You should really start talking to her again.
Perhaps, she's just busy so she can't text.

[Asker]

isn't 3 weeks of no contact too late?

[Opinion Owner]

It's never too late with a girl.

They will give you lots of chances, if you have a sincere apology.

[Asker]

what do I have to apologize for? I persisted in order to get her to hang out. She's the one who hasn't tried.

[Opinion Owner]

It's because you've never texted her for 3 weeks.

[thatguy735]

I think she's just being nice texting you she had a good time, you might be overthinking it.

[Anonymous]

Ask her and see how she reacts/if she responds.

[Asker]

The reason I'm hesitant is the whole drinks/lake thing with no response. I don't know why she'd text me she had fun though

[Opinion Owner]

I can see why you'd be hesitant...she's sending mixed messages. The best way to figure out her intentions is to ask to hang out again.

[Asker]

is it too late? It's been nearly 3 weeks with no peep.

[Opinion Owner]

Nah it's not too late. Just send her a text saying something like, "hey stranger, how have you been?" then when/if she responds, ask her to hang out. And make it a definitive time so it's not left up in the air for her to be iffy about it.

[Asker]

well, when I asked her to play tennis last time, we made plans to play right away. 45 minutes later she was driving to my neighborhood. While it's cool I just did it at the spur of the moment last time, part of me tells me her interest level isn't that high...I mean, she wasn't doing anything except shopping when I texted her. Despite doing nothing, it hadn't crossed her mind to get back to me after I had attempted the previous two times.Of course, after we finally did play, she sent the text