Are the majority of guys only polite to girls they're attracted to?

Question

I wanted to know if guys will generally only be polite to women they are attracted to. In my experience, whenever I try to be polite to guys they always either stare at me blankly or make a weird face at me, and this is not my imagination.

For example, if I’m paying for something at a store, I’ll smile to be friendly. If the cashier is a guy he’ll just kind of look at me with a blank expression. I have also had times when I’ve walked near a person and they’ve smiled at me and I smiled in return. However when I do that to guys, they make a weird face at me. And it’s generally only guys that do this, women are friendly.

So I’ve stopped trying to be nice, I just kind of keep a neutral face. I asked one of my guy friends why this was and he told me that guys will generally only smile and be polite to women they are attracted to. Is that really the case? I then came to the conclusion that these men are confusing my attempts at politeness as hitting on them and they’re rude to me because they're not attracted to me. I’ve also noticed that when other girls try to be polite, guys are nice to them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I honestly think this is mostly true.

I'll explain why I think this -

I used to be very overweight, VERY. Most people consider an overweight person unattractive. Back then, if men weren't completely cruel to me, they just ignored me altogether. Of course I don't mean every man I encountered, but I do mean MOST men I encountered. Women were pretty nice and polite, generally.

After I lost the weight, suddenly men were holding doors for me WAY more then they used to, they were friendlier to me in stores or in check out lines, they were much friendlier and more helpful at work. On and on. Meanwhile, women became nasty and I actually lost some female friends when I lost the weight.

So, generally speaking, I think people are naturally much nicer and more polite to someone they find attractive, yes.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

YES! Take it from an unattractive girl.

Guys are rarely ever polite towards me. I have guys snub me just to get in good with an attractive friend of mine. Guys who aren't attracted to you won't be polite to you. They'll either be blatantly rude if they're a real a**hole or just keep things neutral because they don't want you getting the wrong idea, or they don't want those around to think that they are digging an unattractive girl.

But you're a cute girl so I don't think there should be a bunch of guys being weird like that towards you. Maybe in those instances the guys were just having a bad day or not nice people in general.

Account · Accepted Answer

Yes, I believe so. The majority of girls are also subconsciously polite to guys they find attractive too.

Attractive people don't appear as a threat, so according to psychology people tend to be more polite and have a more relaxed stand towards good-looking people.

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

I'm polite to everyone, but I think a lot of guys will naturally be more polite to girls they are attracted to. We can't help it, its just how we are wired.

Gender has nothing to do with how polite I am to a person. The way they carry themselves and the respect they show me, is what determines how polite I am to them. I do not believe in giving women special treatment just for being a women. If a girl is respectful and treats me well, then I will be polite and respectful to her. If she's a bitch and treats me like crap, then I return the same favor. Her attractiveness doesn't change this.

Prof_Don · Accepted Answer

More guy are like this (more nice and polite to girls they find attractive) than they realize.

noisychicken · Answer

Well my mother raised me to be the best gentleman she could so I'm always polite to all ladies regardless of whether I'm attracted to them. However I do see where you are coming from. I am a little more polite to women I'm attracted to yes, but doesn't excuse me from not being a gentleman if that's not the case. I guess it depends on how they are raised. But a lot of people say I'm a nice guy. Yes we do sometimes confuse girls politeness for flirtatious advances, I'll admit I was for a while. Though with me I give them a blank expression because it's usually a cute girl who I have zero chance with chatting me up about random school stuff.

aMuse · Answer

No, not true. As to your experience, with the cashier, he's probably been working all day and is tired, hates his job, and that mood is just the mood of the moment. You're just subject to it, not the cause of it. The same can go for any random person you pass by. You don't know how their day is going... In general, I think people are influence by the other person's attitude when they see them on a day to day basis. If that person is good to them, then it improves their mood, if that person is bad to them, they dish out crap to that person.

aficionado · Answer

It actually works the other way for me. I'm polite to everyone, irrespective of their gender, and in case of girls, irrespective of whether I'm attracted to them or not. But when the women aren't attracted to me, they misinterpret my politeness, and feel that I'm interested in them, so they start behaving indifferently with me. That's the reason I've stopped being polite and friendly with women. In fact, I have reduced my interactions with women to a bare minimum, and never even talk to females unless its absolutely essential.

SteelyMcBeam · Answer

Nice - yes.

Polite? Not necessarily.

I am starting to get the feeling that the best way to charm a girl is to be rudely nice.

As for the smiling thing: a lot of girls use smiling as a way of flirting. Whenever a girl smiles at me I always get a toss-up of thoughts like "I wonder if she is just being nice and smiles at everyone?" and also "-but maybe she actually does like me... If I don't do anything about it -nothing will happen and a chick who genuinely liked me will never become anything more than a passing acquaintance!"

Also, it occurs to me that I tend to notice attractive women more than plain or unattractive women. I typically keep a neutral face myself, but if a girl takes notice of me (such as she starts a conversation with me out of the blue or asks me for directions while smiling) I tend to get hopeful.

feelsbadmang · Answer

If you're ugly, then you do not exist in a man's eyes. Everything a malicious penis person does has reproduction as the ulterior motive. What people think of "nice guys" are actually just a**holes who are extremely nice to a girl just to have sex with her. Our only hope is to turn lesbian.

ragazza91 · Answer

yes, I have seen men open doors for me and not open them for the woman behind me, or they will give me directions to a place and not help another woman that asked, that is until they ask me for my number and find out that I do not like them that they "suddenly" stop being polite

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry, no.

Plenty of guys, like me, are just polite out of habit. Unless there's a reason to be snide--we aren't. For me, it's also a forced habit from a dozen jobs that require one to be polite.

If you mean being flirty, then yeah, it's only with girls we're attracted too.

shadowscapes · Answer

I'll be honest.

I'm polite to everyone, and I'd never disrespect anybody or treat someone like sh*t just because I don't like how they look. But I'd be an extra bit polite if I found the girl attractive. It's basic biology and my basic instinct; not something I consciously control.

sovetskii13 · Answer

Not necessarily. I'm polite to all girls who are polite to me. It doesn't matter if I find them attractive, or if she's just some random girl. If she's nice to me, then I'll be nice to her. Simple as that.

strangerdanger · Answer

No, I'm polite to all nice girls, however fat girls tend to be rude a lot of the time. Don't hate on me but it's true. Also note that for me at least, if a hot girl is a bitch at first impression, I lose interest ASAP.

Arc2k · Answer

I find that I'm more polite to girls I'm not attracted to. If I'm attracted to a girl, I'll tone the politeness down a smidge so that I can tease a little bit

kairon156 · Answer

I'm polite to anyone tell they give me reason not to be.

Anonymous · Answer

Are the majority of guys only polite to girls they're attracted to? Yes. I'm fat and men are hardly ever nice to me.

waaaaaaah · Answer

It has to do with a person's general outlook. Nothing to do with being attracted to the woman.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm like this; but I'm not rude to girls that I'm not attracted to. And I usually take girls that are smiling at me as their sign of flirting

kangaru · Answer

In some way, subconsciously the guys may be nicer to women they are attracted to.

Anonymous · Answer

yes. actually everyone is nicer & more polite to people they find attractive. its a subconscience thing.

Anonymous · Answer

im ugly so if I'm polite to a girl , then I'm a creep

Anonymous · Answer

I'm polite to everyone, male or female.

skinnygirllover · Answer

I'm polite to everybody.

menina · Answer

That's true.

Anonymous · Answer

Some like them nasty

Anonymous · Answer

That's very true.

Are the majority of guys only polite to girls they're attracted to?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do guys actually like to be chivalrous to girls?

Are the majority of guys only polite to girls they're attracted to?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do guys actually like to be chivalrous to girls?

We're glad to see you liked this post.