Is he avoiding me due to sexual tension or is he just not into me?

There is a man whom I've known for a few months (we are both dating other people and this man is about 18 years older than me.) At some point I began to notice that he seemed to be flirting with me. He glanced at me often, smiled a lot, seemed to be shy and nervous around me (despite being very outgoing normally) and I caught him checking me out once. To test my theory I made eye contact with him, at first I could tell he was taken off guard but he quickly relaxed into the eye contact (did not break it) and had a huge grin on his face. His eyes were even shiny/sparkly as it went on. I became kind of shy after this exchange and the next few times he looked at me I looked away. I didn't see him for several days and now he seems to be avoiding me. For example he will stand far away from me if we are in a group, or will almost hide if we are in the same vicinity. Do you think he is avoiding me due to sexual tension (which is likely to remain unresolved as we are both dating other people) or was I mistaken and he was never interested to begin with. Unfortunately I can't get this man out of my head.

Anonymous

(36-45)

"The next few times he looked at me I looked away." From that, he thinks you are uninterested in him and/or uncomfortable with his presence, which is causing him to want to distance himself from you.

And, yes, he is into you.

Asker

+1 y
Thank you for answering,I hadn't considered that my actions after that initial exchange might be the cause. It was fairly clear in the look I gave him that I liked him but I guess he needed more validation? Maybe due to the age difference? I assumed I had made him uncomfortable because he has a girlfriend and he doesn't want to interact with me on that level again (which I suppose could still be the case.) Would you recommend trying to show him again that I like him?

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Absolutely. Give him sign that you are interested. However, if you ultimately want an exclusive relationship with you, then, try keeping your hints somewhat subtle and brief. In doing so, you'll retain your self respect in his eyes. Incidentally, many older guys prefer women younger than themselves. So, ideally, that's not an issue. Lastly, let him come to you if you want exclusivity with him. Contrary to wide belief, most guys prefer to pursue women.

Thanks for the best answer.

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anonymousfille

+1 y
@anonnymous user, I wish you replied to one off my questions I would' ve given you THE BEST answer. are you American by the way? he's the issue I went through a similar situation, but in my case he gives me a hint, I approach him, talk to him, at some point he breaks eye contact, I take that as a hint to go out away, even though he might be doing it to hide his feeling, but when he does it, it triggers my shyness, I get stressed out , and leave. he wavves at me but does not approach,

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anonymousfille

+1 y
I wave back but I don't approach him, I assume that he's just trying to keep a normal distance with an acquaintance. Plus if a guy is not very aggressive about his approach, I assume he as a girl, and I would back off ( without even thinking of the option that they might not be exclusive). Finally, how can we drop hints that we're interested? I need specific example pleaaase.

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Signs to show your interest: 1. hold eye contact a few seconds longer than you normally would with him 2. greet him before he greets you- "hey, how are you today" conveys interest. In passing ,smile while waving slowly at him with your fingers; not your hand. 3. Briefly touch your hair(don't play with it) whenever you are conversing with him(almost all guys view that as sign of interest). 4. Always put forth positive body language (appear jovial); it makes you more approachable

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makaw

+1 y
sorry for the typos :/

1- when we first made eye contact,FREQUENTLY every day, he never talked or smiled, just looks into my eyes, I already had a crush on him,I couldnot smile or say hi,I'm stressed out and ( his expressions imply that he doesnot want to be said hi to.but I'm gonna try holding eye for a longer period.

2-I always talk to him or greet him, I feel that he doesnot want to be greeted in front of his friends I don't know what the reasons would be.(i'm sure his group talked about me

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anonymousfille

+1 y
logged from a different account :/

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anonymousfille

+1 y
i'm not good with being flirty, I could be flirty when I'm myself, but I guess I'm too invested and stressed out around him, I smile a conservative smile.if I let myself smile at his face the whole is gonna know (i'm embarrassed). I was embarrased few times around him, that he should be able to tell. I just don't know if it's him or me at this point.

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