Why do I keep attracting guys that only want sex!?!

[Anonymous]

I am in my early 30's and for some reason I only attract guys that want me for sex. I have guys be really sweet to me act like they are genuinely interested and then they turn out to be jerks that only want me for sex. Looks are not my priority but I have even given guys that I am not physically atttracted to a try and I keep getting the same outcome. This is frustrating!

[Stacyzee]

I've been dealing with this since I was in my teens.

I am still dealing with it now.

We can't help who we attract but we can minimize the

types of men that are this way that do approach us.

If you are the type to show off a lot of skin or wear

clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination men are

only going to want you for that.

You can dress flattering but at the same time respectable.

Wear longer clothing, that hugs your figure.

You are showing off your shape but at the same time, not putting

yourself out there in that way.

This way you will get a different type of male approaching you.

Yes, there will still be those that only want sex but all you have

to do is let them know you aren't that way.

[Anonymous]

i am on the same boat as you in terms of dating as a single mom.

what I don't understand is: do these guys ask for sex on date 1? and you say no, then they stop contact?



i am interested in sex and a relationship, I meet guys on dating sites and they have all been awesome. I don't have sex with them first, second, third date...I make things clear. as of now I am only sleeping with one and I am still open to date other guys. some I kiss, some I don't. now I have a second potential and I need to decide soon.

they like me, they treat me well and they still call me after date one or stay in contact.

I am not clear with your situation. pls. expl. more.

[Asker]

They slowly stop texting/calling after I put a halt on physical activity further than kissing. I eventually want sex but in my view there should be an emotional connection before I will have sex with someone.

[Opinion Owner]

i don't really understand your situation. my last date was a third date. we made out a lot and I pushed him away. I felt really really bad. he continue to contact me, I apologize and expel that its me not him and I still want to go out with him.

you may need to learn to communicate with the guy better. express in a sweet way. such as you really like him, but you need a bit more time and you continue to show affection.

[Asker]

I go on two dates with a guy, I express that I would like to hang out again (this has happened twice). We may or may not kiss depending on the physical chemistry. If he's going too far I let him know and then eventually he slowly stops calling/texting me. For me it's hard to be able to "really" like a guy after two dates but I have made it clear if I want to hang out. Maybe I just need to go for older guys. I tend to attract men 3-4 years younger and I have been told I look way younger.

[Opinion Owner]

interesting..i agree with you in regards to not feeling like the guys in the beginning.

guys I learned they want to est. that it is going to be a romantic thing way in the beg. so they don't get friend zoned, so they try to be physical/sexual, like kissing you.

you also have to keep them interested, to tell them you enjoy spending time with them that they are a great kisser.

if guys sense that you are not going to do more, they will move on to the next girl. I am not saying you need to do more

[Opinion Owner]

right away, but slowly if you are also interested show affection. also any other smilier hobbies between you and the guys?

i am your age. one guy I met, kissed a lot the first date, he knew I wasn't all that comf. at the end of the date he wanted to see me more...i teased him and pushed him away..he continue to pursue me..but he is too young for me. things can happen if I wanted to, but I have other candidates so I dropped him.

one guy I like a lot, kissed third date, 4th date all the way and

[Opinion Owner]

he is still in contact with me. we have known ea. other about 4 months.

recent guy, head my hand second date and stole kisses. but I didn't' resist and I also told him I like him. third date, he kissed me a lot and I wasn't' comf. it actually became a bit awkward because he continue to advance touch over my clothes, I pushed him away. he continue to text me, I sense he wasn't feeling so great about it. so two days later, I shared with him, its not him..i like him and that it has been to long

[Opinion Owner]

for me since I had an intimate encounter. he understand and continues to contact me.

well..hope that help. guys are my age..maybe a yr. apart.

just communicate with the guys. also see how they talk to you. if you like them, tell them in a cute way or show them in a cute way.

its hard for guys as well...

[TKoz93]

I think it's probably because you're attracting men. Next time, try attracting heterosexual women, or cats, and see what happen.

I didn't see the words "just" or "only" in your question. So, are you frustrated that men want sex, or are you attracting guys that "just" want sex "only," and nothing else but sex from you?

[Asker]

Actually I DID include the word onlu. I am frustrated because they "only" want sex. After they realize I am not going to give it up that easily then they disappear!

[TKoz93]

First, I'm sorry, totally missed the title lol. Second, I hope you appreciate the huge difference between guys who "only want sex" versus guys who will just not want to bother with a girl who has issues with sex or doesn't want to feel or be perceived as someone who "gives it up that easily." It's not the same thing.

[Asker]

No worries. I don't feel like I put too much emphasis on sex... When I go on a date I want to get to know the guy and if the chemistry is there then the physical part will follow. Its just hard to know who is real and who is just "acting" nice just to get sex.

[TKoz93]

It's not just "hard" to know, it's "impossible" to "know" unless the guy is just obvious or strait-up about it. Heck, what makes you think that most guys even know themselves? lol

[TKoz93]

It's a fine tightrope line to talk on though. On one hand, if you don't have sex with a guy that's not "just interested in sex only," then you make that guy feel like you're not sexually interested in him (or at least not that much), and he starts to lose interest. On the other hand, if you start developing feelings for the guy and have sex, and it turns out all he was interested was just sex, then you're left feeling hurt. It's tough, and there's no right answer.

[Anonymous]

Guys find it harder than girls to get sex. Girls find it harder than guys to upgrade sex to a relationship. Because of different priorities, that's just how life is. My advice is, don't just assume that a relationship will happen. Think about what you can offer.

[Anonymous]

How do you know they *only* want you for sex, as opposed to wanting sex with you but wanting other things too?

[gemgal]

I had the same experience and I am around the same age as you. It seems that these type of men have multiplied in comparison to the guys I used to meet 10 years ago. I blame the rise of pick-up-artist and their teachings. I don't think it is something you do wrong because I've tried all the things people here suggested but still I got the same outcome.

[MrCesar]

I wanna date you and you'll see it's not for sex :)

[Asker]

That is very nice :). Its too bad I have not met more guys like you.

[Anonymous]

Go for older dudes.

You are going for guys too young.

[Anonymous]

You have any baggage (i.e kids)?

[Asker]

Ues I have one child.

[Anonymous]

Its common at your agemon o

[Anonymous]

You've been falling for the "nice guy" charade.

[Anonymous]

Try older guys