How do I meet more guys?

[Anonymous205]

I am a confident, ok-looking, intelligent 19 year old woman who is ready for a serious relationship. I am just at that stage in my life where I want someone to laugh with, have mature/meaningful conversations with, share moments with, etc. along with all the physical attraction and yet when I go to look around, none of my (admittedly few) guy-friends are mature or even slightly attractive to me in that way and I am not one to "go out partying" and doubt the kind of guy I would be attracted to would be at any of those parties/clubs anyways... I'm in university so am pretty busy and I am more of a studious type. So basically my question is: WHERE ARE ALL OF THE NICE, GENLEMEN-LIKE, SENSIBLE, INTELLIGENT MEN HIDING? I just want some tips on how to meet more like-minded people, and how to approach them in a way that would lead to something long-term?

[MrOracle]

A couple of things:

Most of the guys you are talking about don't look like the hot studs that all the girls want to date. Most of them are going to look plain, ordinary, "boring", and not super-attractive. If they were those things, they would be "players" and not gentlemen. Can you deal with that?

Second, most of those guys (and there are LOTS of them) feel exactly the way you do: they want girls just like you, who aren't party types, who prefer to stay home and talk or watch a movie rather than be at a bar or club all night getting loaded. The problem is that both of you STAY HOME most of the time, so it's tough to meet each other. You say you are busy and study a lot; well, so do they. Like you, they almost never "go out" so it can be tough to meet them.

So, in your case, I suggest online dating. Many of those guys will at least TRY online dating to try to meet someone. Just take it slow, talk to them on the phone a few times before you decide to meet/go on a date, and don't be afraid to tell a guy "this isn't working out for me" if it isn't, and move on to the next one.

As I said, there are lots of guys who feel exactly the way you feel, for the same reasons. When you aren't a "party/social animal", it's much harder to meet other people like you, even though they are all around you. It means you need to put in more effort at it, and be more aware of the "invisible" guys (i.e., the ones who aren't hot/popular enough that you'd normally notice them) around you, and initiate conversations with them wherever you happen to run into them. If the conversation turns interesting, you can take it further, and if not, then you just move on.

[mebeinganon]

Well those guy do go to parties and clubs too...

Alot of women have this perception that every guy in a bar/club/ or party is just the gotta find that easy lay kinda of guy. which isn't true. The nice, intelligent, caring, and honest guy can be found anywhere you just don't know its him cause 1. you can't tell these traits just be looks and 2. you haven't talked to him.

So be open minded, be willing and able to change your views based on first impressions (for good or bad), and reflect on how you might be projecting your self to others. As you could be inadvertently be sending do not approach signals which prevents most guys from even trying to talk to you.

As for going into long term... try taking things slow which ultimately sets the tone for long term over quick and casual, or bring it up on the 2nd or 3rd date by mentioning it the same way you did in the second line of your qestion "I am just at that stage..."

[posted]

Lol I don't go to many parties anymore and I feel more mature than a lot of other guys I've seen, I can be immature as hell though, but so can the 40 year old guys I work with, I guess it depends.

Maybe we all hide in Canada.

Btw your profile says under 18... haha

University seems like the number one place for you to find more people to hang out with atm, dating sites could be very low on the list, any job might be second. Or massive stores/malls I guess, if you're up for meeting complete strangers university might be easier to start a conversation though.

[Anonymous]

There's no specific place to meet nice, gentlemen like men.

That, and their numbers are drastically thinning because they learn that being a nice gentlemen is not a way to get women. A quick google search finds *tons* of women asking the same thing as you, "where are the nice guys who will treat me with respect?!"

Mostly, one of three things:

1. They're taken.

2. They learned game, and they're not nice gentlemen anymore.

3. They're not attractive enough you'd notice them. (I don't blame you, I don't notice unattractive members of the opposite sex either.)

[dx021]

best answer.

[dx021]

Talk to some guys in bookstores or working on something interesting at a cafe' ...

anything that's organic and not forced that you could naturally click over

you're kind of at that age where, in a few years, many guys who would be intelligent, caring gentlemen now will become disillusioned and turn towards game, seeing you as just one girl among many for them to sleep w/.

[martyfellow]

Join clubs at the uni for people with your interests, and while youneed to be careful about appproachin gguys, observe them in normal, non-dating situations until you're pretty sure he is one of the NICE, GNTLEMEN-LIKE ones you want.

I'd advise against trying to find guys at parties or clubs, as you say, your kind of guy probably won't be found there.

Foreign language classes are another good place to find your kind of guy, since hey, that was where women found me!

[dodgypirate]

Stop looking for that special someone, let them come towards you. The more you worry about getting him, the more you don't stand a chance.

This is what I've learnt from a close friend, be the "magnet".

Things are attracted to magnets, not the other way round. If you make yourself look better than you already are, get in proper shape, you'll be surprised about how better things will be and you'll be in a relationship in no time.

[Dionysos]

Same as always, you meet interesting people doing the things you're interested in.

As for them being intelligent, that's easy. Mature, on the other hand... Well let's just say I'm 41 and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Maturityis over rated. ;)

[jacquesvol]

Where to find serious mature guys?

University, libraries. But many of hem might not be ready to ready for a serious relationship before thy got their degree and a good job. Getting the degree is the easiest part. Once you're out of university you'll have it harder to meet them. Among young teachers maybe. Or during organized vacation trips with a cultural aspect (visiting Mexican ruins is an example)

Don't hope to find them in clubs and bars.

[chrisbigman]

Why do you say you're 19, when your age states "Age:Under 18"?

Anyways, I would love the same thing, too - a woman I can spend great times with. I'm 29, and I would love to find a woman that I would like to be with. Too bad we can't meet.

I would probably start getting social. Go out to a bookstore, church, wherever. Find a guy you think might be great, and start a conversation with him.

[Vandal]

Might be a good idea to join some kind of society/club dedicated to something you're interested in. You've gotta get out and try to meet them somehow.

But, like others have said, you're around that age when a lot of guys become disillusioned with the dating game/women and become PUAs or MGTOW & stop looking for a relationship, or they're already taken. So, yeah, it might be tough for you.

Good luck, anyways.

[Dude361]

people are using the internet now to meet and date. Get on match.com or okcupid. Make a profile similar to what you posted here, take a few good photos, and you should have plenty of guys messaging you.

[bh6676r942]

Well Gee it kind of sucks if you're looking for guys so fast because you're under 18 but if you think you're capable you could try going to the mall lots of guys go to the mall believe me

[mccool]

meet people around school in the same classes/ interest as you, usually those people will be interested in the same things you are, and will be just what you are looking for

[Anonymous]

Porn sites

Web chats

Malls