Everybody has goddamn high standards, not just chicks, guys too. The media constantly bombards us with images of "beautiful" people, telling us what is and what isn't attractive, and unfortunately, not enough people can think for themselves to decide what they personally find attractive. Instead, they naively take whatever's spoonfed to them by the media and their peers. Now I realize, of course, that that's a pretty big generalization, and there are, of course, exceptions to it. But the scary reality is that our standards and expectations when it comes to finding partners are influenced by what we see on TV or in movies. And when the real world, or real women or real men, don't meet those standards we become all depressed and cynical like yourself.
You say that as a guy, you need to be tall, white, have a 6 pack, be rich, and drive a nice car in order to attract women. Doesn't that sound an awful lot like the male lead in pretty much any Hollywood movie ever? Your standard of what women want is based off of what you've seen in movies. Sorry to ruin Santa for you, but movies aren't real; real life doesn't always mirror what you see on screen. The good news is that all that can change. It all stems from this shitty attitude you have about women and what they want. What woman would want to be with someone who's so cynical and naïve? So you don't have a 6 pack, or a nice car, or a lot of money. So what? Most women are not as shallow and picky as you believe. They don't want the hottest guy, or the richest guy, or even the smartest guy. They just want someone to be their guy.
There's over 7 billion people on this planet; you could be the ugliest, poorest, dumbest sap on the planet and there'd still be some woman somewhere who could love you for you. It's not about being attractive to the majority of women, it's not about getting tail or "slaying it". It's about finding someone special who makes you a better person and loves you for you.
You're very mistaken. If that was true, I'd have lived the life of a monk!
What girls REALLY want is a guy who is CONFIDENT (the opposite of desperate), and who treats them decently (but doesn't worship them or bend over backwards to please them), but who also takes charge, makes decisions, and provides leadership. That's enough for about 80% of women right there.
Can you get ANY girl? No. It's true that SOME girls ARE very demanding about what a guy physically looks like, just as there are guys who are the same way. But in both cases, they are the exception, not the rule.
And you, Asker, are making the same mistake so many women make when struggling to get a relationship: you are ASSUMING the problem is your appearance, and never even considering that it could be your personality/attitude/lack-of-confidence that is making you unattractive. Unless you can identify the REAL problem, you have no hope of solving it.
6ft+ would be nice (all guys i've dated so far have been), preferably white (most of them were not white, i don't have preferences on race), 6 pack (some had them, most were just flat/in otter mode), rich (nope all students are broke), no cars, well actually sometimes my friends would say i could do better, others would say 'oh my garsh go for it'. Attraction is very subjective and even more so for the attraction women feel for men.
Now i think it's important that a person only aims for the standards they can withhold.
Here's what i've got on offer: Average height for a woman, high level of education, high self esteem/confidence, rich/well off family, attractive to most men, 36-26-36 waist to hip ratio, D-cup, religious, generally sought after by more than one guy at a time and more down to earth/mentally stable than most.
The standards you set aren't really that high if a woman can withhold them herself (even then i don't expect them of a guy), but to think of those standards as all or nothing would be a tad shallow. It took dating a guy with all those characteristics you describe but a bad personality to fully realize that looks really aren't everything. On top of that i've found women are the ones that'll put up with a less attractive guy than guys would for a girl.
Well the idea of what a girl expects is such a stereotype. Listen I want a sweet boy with sweet eyes who treats me like a lady and likes adventures. I don't give a fuck if he is white, with abs. And i certainly don't give a flying fuck if he has a nice car or is rich. I'm so over this idea that all girls want a cookie cut out boy.
I'm an average girl and I don't expect even half of that. I'd actually be a little hesitant to date a guy over 5'11." And I don't care much about abs or money either. As long as he's not a bum and he can support himself that's what I care about. Maybe you've just been talking to the wrong girls.
Opinion
10Opinion
Ignore the negative comments. You've gotta work with what you've got. If you feel you're overweight, work out and lose some weight. If you're skinny, lift weights and gain some. If you're happy with your weight that's great. Not everyone was blessed with great looks, and women know this. Accept who you are and be happy. Some people are disgruntled because they feel it's unfair that they don't get attention because of their looks, but being negative will only chase them away even more. Be a positive person and people will like being around you, including women. That is an absolute fact. I have some friends that are not very attractive but women like them.
Real world translation:
"I'm an overweight slob with a dead end job and no motivation to better myself. I have no personality or interesting hobbies, I just like to be alone and feel sorry for myself. Why won't women throw themselves at me? It's not fair!"
We are told this to make us insecure about ourselves. Invest time getting to know the girl you like. Certain things you learn will giveyou clues about what kind of person she is, and if she is worth it.
She may not require you to be rich, but do you have a lot of time to spend on someone who is high maintenance? Can either of you take a joke or have much in common to disuss?
Women, just like men are attracted to different things. So your money, status, height, etcetera doesn't matter as long as you find that one girl who likes you for you... just the same as you like her for her.
Really? If that were true, most men who are out dating, marrying, and having sex wouldn't be doing those things lol
Personally, I do strongly prefer tall white men. Although I find it sad that you think whiteness is "above average." He doesn't have to have six pack abs. But some guys who like me have that, I can't help that. He doesn't have to come from a rich family or have those things but he better be ambitious and driven and want something from life.
I've known plenty of guys under 6 ft, non-white, non-six-pack-having, non-rich-family-or-rich-things-having guys who have been involved with women. Some of them are players really.
And also, who cares if someone want all those things? They can want whatever they want. Just like plenty of guys have narrow standards for women.
And its not a "women these days" thing. My mom and grandmother are far narrower in the types of guys they tell me to go for.
Emancipation. To be honest, men have become obsolete. A modern woman can provide for herself and have a reasonably fulfilling life with a hand full of girlfriends.
Of course, a man would be nice, but only if he's top notch, complimentary to her life as it is. That's why the standards are so high. I don't think that women honestly think they can all have such a guy, I think they just decided: "it's either going to be an amazing guy, or none".
"Why waste my time on a man I have to settle for?"
They don't actually have high standards, if they're basing attraction purely on appearance, and current financial wealth (maybe they should be more concerned about what he went through to obtain it, and if he can do that again). They're just shallow.
Then they'll wonder why the ended up with an incompetent jek.
My only standards for a guy is he's hopefully taller than me (which isn't hard since I'm pretty short), is nice, and won't push me into anything I don't want to do. And hopefully shares some of my same interests. I don't care about money, and looks don't matter to me as much as personality does. But that's just me.
lol @your question dude. you need to move somewhere else. I don't expect all that. In fact, if a guy comes around that has that, I think he is bad news and I tend to run the opposite way. sorry you are having issues at the moment. it will get better I promise.
Everyone wants the best for themselves, but often times people have to settle. You have to love you first. Be confident with who you are. If you don't like something about yourself, change it. Only you can make your life better.
Not every girl wants a guy like that, you know? I'm not one of those girls with a high standards. I have answered a question like this before, haha, I'm not into a perfect looking guy, I don't like rich guys as well. I like simple nice guys.
That's not true. I dont care about the materialistic or physical aspects of the guy. I, as well as most girls I know, want a man whose character and personality makes him worthy of being in a relationship with.
That isn't high standards that is called superficial. I put character before looks. But if the character is there and I am not attractive I might as well marry a relative. A relationship without sexual and physical attraction doesn't make sense IMHO.
That's all you, bro. I have none of that (not even the skin color) and I have a beautiful fiance. It's all about confidence, and knowing the kind of person you want to attract.
You sound mad asking this question. Not every girl wants someone like that. And if a guys is all of the above then he is prob way to into him self and is prob a jerk.
Why settle for a dude who will bring you down. Your attitude is rather pessimistic and isn't going to help you find a anyone. Try being a bit more positive and it might actually help you!
i don't find what you've described to be ideal but then again i was raised in california and i think tanning is beyond retarded.
i've always my my own standards.
I like honest respectful compassionate guys below 6 feet with dark skin and long hair.
True. Luckily, I meet all of those criteria. You're really not missing out on much, though. The women are effectively whores. You'd have a much better time with a girl who's a self-labelled, professional prostitute.
Lmao. I don't require any of that. Looks like you keep running into shallow girls or you drew those conclusions yourself.
I want a guy to be hot and very romantic and having a job helps.
no, there standards are not high enough...
Most Helpful Opinions