I have only been a part of this site for a few short months. Within the time being on here, I have seen more women bashing on men then I have in my entire life. Its mostly in the opinions section of the questions being asked and not all women are doing it. So if you take offense to this then you are probably one of these women I am referring to. I just want to speak to all of you about some shit.
The "We are in a casual relationship but I like him and I want more but he says he doesn't want a relationship" girls. Lets just start here, where I see a lot of these floating around. Not in all, but in MOST cases, the man you are in a 'casual' relationship with will tell you before even sleeping with you that he is not in it for a relationship, as he wants nothing serious. And you obviously agreed, and that is why you are sleeping together. If you are not one of those women who had this conversation with you fuck buddy then please dont take offense. As I said, this is not directed toward some. ANYWHO- This really bothers me. For One, you agreed to go into this relationship knowing that he wasn't into you at all. He was in it strictly for sex. You possibly went into it because you wanted him anyway you could have him OR you just wanted the sex too but then you caught feelings. I get it! It happens! However, you STILL know what he was looking for. So to later on become this love struck puppy and expect him to just drop what you two had already agreed upon because you want 'more' is completely selfish. Because then not only are you making him feel horrible about even sparking things up with you but you are also making him question why he trusted you enough to engage in this sort of relationship. Note to women- DONT GET INTO A FUCK BUDDY RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO SUCK HIM IN. Its pathetic, really.
The "We have gone on one date and he didn't kiss me, should I just assume he has lost interest?" girls. No. Just no. We are women. These types of questions are just in our DNA. I get that. However, just because a guy brings you on a date and doesn't kiss you or hold your hand or whatever, does NOT mean that he isn't interested. Maybe it just means that he simply respects you enough to not overstep invisable boundries. You have to remember that this guy barely knows anything about you! He doesn't know what boundries you have and he doesn't know if you are a "kiss on the first date" type of girl. And even if he did know, maybe he isn't the "kiss on the first date" kind of dude! I know it is hard to believe (with all the men-bashing on here) but some guys still have their respect in tact and still treat women the way they should be treated. Hence, why he didn't jam his tongue down your throat upon your first date.
The "He takes 2 hours to text me back and he doesn't send me smiley faces. Should I be worried?" girls. No, you should not be worried. Not every man likes to look cheesy in a text and send you smiley faces or hearts to show his affection. Some guys would much rather show you then tell you. Which, trust me, isn't a bad thing at all. Actually, its better than telling you. You have to remember that men are hard wired completely differently than women. There for, the things we like to hear or see, probably doesn't even cross their mind because THEY DONT THINK LIKE US! Dont get freaked out so easily. It is the overthinking that will ruin the relationship. As for him not texting back for 2 hours... Not everybody likes being on their phones 24/7. In the beginning of womens relationships, we like speaking to our new lovers as much as humanly possible, right? Right. There for, we will spend our every waking moment speaking to that guy. Even if it is one word texts. We dont care. Because just seeing their name light up our phone is enough to put a huge smile on our faces without even looking at the text! However, men aren't like this. I mean, Im sure some are. But some aren't as well. Some men dont like talking to you all day because then the stories get repeatitive and boring. Men like some mystery, so leave some for him! If you dont, chances are you both will lose interest quicker than you thought possible!
The "He hangs out with his guys more than he hangs out with me?" girls. Okay.. I used to flip shit when my boyfriend did this. Because obviously, I am a girl. And in the beginning of our new relationship I was quite pissed that he would rather go ball with the boys than chill with me. I realized quickly what it was, as I have been with my man for 4 years now. Now, here's the thing.. I found that in the beginning of my relationship, I wanted to spend every second with my man. When he left I would be lonely and straight bored the entire time. So I hated that he was off having a good time while I was stuck at home. I didn't want to go chill with my girls. I wanted to chill with him. But, a little while into the relationship, he tables turned. I wanted to go out and be with my girls, where as he didn't want to go out and do anything. He wanted to stay and chill with me. So given my experience (above), the advice I would give you is this- if your man is out chilling with his boys and having a good time, take advantage of that and go chill with your girls. So that way, when you both get home at whatever time, you will both have had a great day and you can enjoy your night together. If you stay home all day and wait, all pissed off that he ain't with you, chances are you are still gonna be pissed when he gets home later on. There for, to save the fights, just go out with your girls. Its simple. And just because he hangs out with his guys doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be with you. Everybody needs their friends. Even while they are in a relationship.
I'm only going to do one more, where this is a long myTake and it is 12:27am (holy fuck I should be sleeping). The "Why doesn't he bring me out on fancy dates or buy me nice things?" girls. Maybe it was the way I was raised.. But I do NOT believe that your man should be obligated to buy you a bunch of material shit. The going on fancy dates every once in a while thing I can relate to. Because it is nice to go out with your boyfriend every once in a while and go to nice restaraunt or a movie or what have you. I understand that. The "buying me nice things" shit makes me angry. Just because you are dating him does not mean that you need jewelry or purses or new shoes whenever you see fit. He is not your daddy. He is not your personal bank account. He does not owe you anything. Material shit will not help your relationship and the more you expect it, the more your relationship will fail! Money will become an issue! You WILL eventually start fighting over finances and your man will think you are a gold digger. Do I think your man should spoil you? Fucking right I do! BUT you need to spoil your man as well. I spoil my boyfriend all the time. Not with materialistic crap, but with things I know he enjoys. If you want to be spoiled, you have to return the favor.
So to conclude my message:
Its not always the men doing it wrong. Sometimes its the women!