So you already know the word, but men who can not handle rejection will go as far as calling a woman a bitch simply for telling a man she is not interested.
The Art of Being Shallow
It is human nature to notice someone first by their appearance but what about a woman who is hot or attractive to a guy?
If a guy who approaches a woman he thinks is good looking and REJECTS him, one or two things will happen if the guy can't handle rejection:
1. He dismisses her as a shallow bitch.
2. He complains how bad women are to his friends and/or the Internet even though it was one rejection.
I understand that some girls are genuinely mean and bitchy, but I am talking about men who get rejected and call a woman shallow or a bitch when the guy knows that if a girl he found unattractive approached him, he would turn her down.
Then there are the men who will call a girl a slut or a whore or a lesbian if she turns him down. Some guys are not used to getting rejected, so they think if a girl rejects him she must be a lesbian.
Then there are the men who label a girl bitch who rejects them simply because they do not want to have sex with them.
A guy has a right not to make a girl his girlfriend and a girl has a right to not give a guy sex either. It should go both ways.
Every Girl is a Bitch: The Art of Being Shallow and Rejecting Men
I think you're confusing "men" with "chauvinist macho assholes". The second group is a part of the first group but not every man is a chauvinist macho asshole. I can honestly and proudly say that I have NEVER in my whole life rejected a woman. Granted, I wasn't approached by a lot because men are usually expected to do all the work but the few girls who did approach me were always accepted by me REGARDLESS of how they looked. I can give you a great example: when I was in high school, I was approached by a girl who I had seen before in the hallways but never spent much thought about. She didn't look particularly good (just average) and my sister laughed and gossiped about her, saying she looks like a man. She was also not really my type of girl and the kids at school said tons of bad stuff about her because she lived in a trailer park and was "white trash". But here the thing: I said yes anyway. Why? Because I'm not shallow. Because I wanted to give her a chance and see behind her looks and her poverty and all that. I wanted to know whether behind all that, there was a sweet girl that is worthwhile to date and be friends with. Although we eventually fell apart because that girl cheated on me, I don't regret one minute of our relationship. Coming from a very different social background and having a totally different type of women I like, it was still immensely worth it. It taught me a lot for my further life. Plus, looking back, I do think she was a very sweet girl (she just couldn't control her libido). I don't hold grudges.
At the same time, I have been rejected by tons of women throughout my life. It is not true that men either think "she's a bitch" or complain how bad women are. I was simply sad. I acknowledged that I might not be that girl's type and I was not angry at her for rejecting me. However, I am almost blind and people can see that something with my eyes is not okay and sometimes I wished women wouldn't be so superficial because some of them rejected me for this very reason. They were not willing to see the person behind the disability.
And finally, in regard to calling women "sluts" I would like to note that slut-shaming among women is just as common (if not MORE common) than among men. People who do it are idiots regardless of their sex.
I mean I commend you on your effort, but no one should have to do this. Like if I'm not interested, 9/10 it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I'm too busy, I don't want to bothered, I don't want to waste my time, etc. I literally do not want a boyfriend nor do inhale a desire to have one. Not do I want a fb. And that's my choice. I should never have to explain why I don't find some one attractive.
@cyndyrene Well, I don't ask for an explanation or justification. And if you really want to live like a nun (I don't mean this in a condescending way), that's totally okay. I just don't find it fair/okay when women lie and say stuff like "I don't want a boyfriend" and two weeks later you'll see them making out with another guy. I'm sorry to say this but in my experience, women do this much more frequently. Guys would just say "you're not my type" but girls would make up some preposterous lie to "not hurt his feelings".
Basically, my big criticism towards our generation (girls AND guys) is that people don't value romantic relationships anymore. So many people have been utterly corrupted my our post-modern consumerism, where everything is just a cheap Chinese-made product that you can throw in the bin after using it once. For example there are so many couples who just break up after a few fights instead of trying to work it out. Or they're just incredibly selfish. My girlfriend and
I have been in a long-distance relationship for one year. By long-distance I don't mean peanuts like 300 miles. I'm talking about 8,000 miles. My girlfriend lived on the other side of the planet and I was in my country and neither of us had enough money to ever visit each other. Was it tough? Of course it was. I missed her to death. I was also sexually frustrated at times. Her perhaps too. But we didn't just throw the relationship in the bin like so many other young people would have. We fought hard and made it and we're still together now. Or like I said in my initial reply: young people don't care about other people's personality anymore, they just look at the facade. I've once dated an overweight girl and I thought I could never be into her. But then I went for it anyway and she was a sweetheart and I did develop feelings. I don't judge people for having preferences but I do judge people for not even giving it a shot, for being all stubborn and sticking to what they're used to.
- Female user writes take/question about female experiences
- All males immediately respond with: Nuh-uh! Woominz do it too! Woominz are so much worse!!1! In fact, woominz are simply the worst amg!!1#1!!!
>cue discussion about how worthless women are in general
Reverse genders - same thing happens: women start a circle jerk about how bad men are and that women have it so much worse.
This is literally why most of GAG users are single: always looking for reasons to shit on the other gender, to one up one another, to be the biggest victim.
Some much contempt for the other sex in nearly every topic.
due to parenting men are much better at coping with rejection than women. women are pampered more than men, men are better at coping with rejection than women.
I agree. I can't make a single question about gender without someone coming in with generalizations or trying to attack me even when I'm on no side which shows that a lot of those people don't read because ironically they attack me when I'm not even against them. This is why I've been on g@g less and try to refrain from those questions. Thank gosh real life isn't like this, we talk about gender in schools and sometimes I have conversations about it with both male and female friends and no one gets their panties in a twist. Hasn't anyone heard of straw arguments? It's disapointing to see people older than me make those mistakes. If you don't learn to not make those type of arguments in highschool then you would at least in college for the most part. Sorry for ranting on your opinon, I haven't seen anyone else say this.
What I'm going to say is this: no, men are not owed anything whatsoever from women and yes, men that complain incessantly about just one girl online or even go as far as to call a girl a bitch (when she rejected him politely) ... those guys are way out of line.
BUT that does not mean all girls are super polite in their rejection (I know you did not infer otherwise but, this point deserves addressing). Also, not all the girls rejecting countless guys are model material themselves. Sometimes you get a guy who is very attractive, very confident, a good all round person and somebody who works on himself a LOT (hobbies, work, appearance, etc.) and he is STILL rejected, not just once, but again and again and again. Let's just say it's human nature for this kind of guy to have 'grievances'.
Think about a few different scenarios here: - you're homeless and starving but you are the most gifted, most talented and most reliable person on the planet and no employer will have you, but will happily employ a bunch of slackers just because they're his best friends or something. you're going to feel hard done by. - you're the most likeable, outgoing, friendly and interesting person to talk to but people will not befriend you or engage you in small talk. hell they do not even want to serve you at the counter and it's because of some bull like "oh, well this guy is just soft". if you are forced to wallow in total misery and isolation, it's not something you're gonna feel great about. over time, you might even become a misanthrope.
when I was at school I had one friend, literally just that - one friend (and a really fucking good friend as well) and I could hardly ever hang out with him because his mates would rip the shit out of me. he offered to spend more time with me by himself but I said "no" because I did not want him to go through what I do. one time he was even sticking up for me and he said himself that literally nobody in school tried as hard as me to fit in with other people and be an amicable person but get totally rejected time and time again for no good reason whatsoever.
let me tell you, when it keeps on happening with women, it's the same damn phenomena. yeah, I get they have standards. yes, I get they are entitled to choose who they want to be with. no, I would not want to be with someone who feels obliged to put up with me. but at the same time, it doesn't matter what you say, I'm just not going to be happy about it.
It's women who can't handle rejection, hence all the whining about 'fat-shamers', 'fuckboys', etc.
Women, so enraged by male standards and preferences, recently even launched a campaign of violence to stop a diet food company from advertising its products with sexy women!
Honestly tho it's not just one gender. Whether male or female, some can't handle rejection. But most times when I call a boy a fuckboy is because he is, but men go around calling women bitches, and whores even when it's not true. It's not like I go around calling men bastards or SOBs, it's just fuckboy. And some men even like it when I call them a fuckboy...
@99percentangel but calling women names is wrong, as women point out endlessly and correctly, then go and do the exact same thing to guys. And yes guys get called bastard, sobs and often asshole as well by women. So much for being any better, women love to complain about it then do the exact same thing, proving they are no better and have no place demanding men should stop. In fact regular insults wern't enough- they actually invented a new one: fuckboy. Oh and let's not forget how all guys are creeps by default, unless he his considered attractive. And are predisposed to raping unless taught not to. And are naturally suspect around children. And most arn't 'really real men' for whatever reason a woman sees fit. etc
You sound all butthurt and shit like that's just the way the world works, men are naturally the main suspect because men are stronger and more able to commit certain crimes, it's just natures law. And for the whole "men are all considered creep by default unless they are attractive" is not true, I know plenty of creepy attractive males, it's just people that are more attractive are more liked, there was this one women killer who was so beautiful that the judge couldn't believe she could be a murder, it was on the news you could look it up. And males being predisposed to raping someone unless told not to is not true, it's just better to teach someone not to do something, everyone needs to be told what's right or wrong some point in there life. And males and females can both be supest in front of children, just mostly men are because like I said men are naturally labeled as the stronger sex. There are a lot of grammar mistakes on this cuz I was typing quick...
@99percentangel No. I do not accept the 'that's just the way it is' attitude. It is not acceptable for either sex to call the other names and insultes. Slut, fuckboy, whore, creep- gotta go. Let's just use jerk. If someone is a jerk in some way, then you can call them on it. That's all we need. It's not ok to treat each other with suspicion. As a man I should be able to interact with children without people fearing the worst. Why? Because I, and most men on earth WOULD NEVER HARM A CHILD IN ANY WAY! In fact I'm very good with kids. I should not be seen with suspicion because a VERY VERY small % of people are bad. It's just not right. Both sexes need to start treating each other better.
@Viperkiss I didn't say it was acceptable that people call each other those names... But lol I can't stop other people from doing that. And it's fine that you like kids and that you want to interact with them, then interact with them! As long as you know the parents then its shouldn't be that big a deal. Anyways I agree with that last part, both sexes do need to be treated better.
@Viperkiss and if you really like kids, then you should have your own LOL or join a baby sitting company... Or become a teacher that's what most people who love children do.
@99percentangel I am a single father to an 8 year old daughter. The reason the suspicion thing bothers me is I cannot go to the park and watch my kid without suspicious stares and dealing with others paranoia. That's a shame.
@Viperkiss the reason why people become suspicious is because there are men today that do rape innocent children, and people are just being aware. It's better to be safe then sorry. The real problem isn't what people think about you, screw them if you aren't doing anything wrong then you shouldn't care what other people you don't know think. The real problem is what perverted rapists do to innocent children, and that's what really needs to stop. Stop caring what strangers think, they're just being causcious.
Last sentence is correct and you addressed "BOYS". You left off a category of guys... MEN!
He is rejected and he thinks, "I didn't do my job right... what could I have done differently? ... I ran smack into her bitch shield and she shot me down... I know I can do better. Damn! Poor girl, I was an awsome guy for her and I just couldn't get through to her. Well... I'll learn and do better next time."
Or "It's ok, I'm awsome on my own and I don't need her", I wanted to share some of my life and fun with her, but wasn't the right timing I guess. Oh well". Something like that is the thought process...
What you described above in my opinion is immature BOYS. Boys are selfish, needy, controlling, and don't know how to interpret rejection. Don't take responsibility for the guys feelings, they aren't your problem and you have enough of your own issues.
But you SHOULD take responsibility for your own rejection... and that is a whole another matter.
Well for some guys they have a solid reason for doing that we dont do it with every girls just the ones who really piss us off, also it doesn't help that we always have to put ourselves up there and risk approaching women and get accepted by them, i think the true problem are some women who can't handle rejection or think theyre worth a prince, i have girls around me who make fun of guys sending them love songs or telling them they like them, and iam like "this girl is barely a 6.5 if not 6 she can't afford to be a bitch " ...
It happened to me and usually not cause iam not good or anything its mainly cause the girl is taken and i just move on dont call her a bitch or anything, unless she actually acts like a bitch iam not gonna insult her.
but the problem is girls sometimes give signs and attempt getting closer to guys knowing it will not lead to more, i know lots of girls who give such signs and seem like they are waiting for the moment i say hi to them but i know for a fact they're taken so i won't even bother, i know that were allowed to find other people attractive but sometimes that line is crossed, men do it too but not as much as women.
i see where you're going with this. Guys can be royal dicks... They can take rejection the way you said, and even think things like bitch, slut, hoe amongst other things.
my biggest issue with women these days, is not rejection its self, its when rejection comes in the form of ghosting. We speak, she vanishes. At least have the respect to tell me that she isn't interested. My other issue is the women that say "If an unattractive guy asks me out, its just disrespectful, know your place." Or the ones that say the act of me simply saying hi to them is harassment. Im a a polite guy... i dont cat call, i dont creep, if i want to talk to you i will say hi. In this day and age, that is harassment. Thank god i married someone that knows how to appreciate a good guy.
If you're having fun and amusing yourself, there's no such thing as a 'rejection.' Say the most insane batshit stuff and make it seem absurd by inflating the so-called 'rejection.' Being humorous to yourself and you'll never feel like you failed.
In fact, if you are never getting rejected, you're doing something wrong. You're being manipulative, you're not being authentic. You should be so shamelessly authentic that some women will just want to throat punch you. Why? Because the ones who like you, will just LOVE you. It's better to have some women hate you and have some women who absolutely are astonished to be in your presence than to just have women feel merely 'okay' to hang out with you.
The thing is that, at least for me, women aren't that difficult to bed at all. If there's an attraction, it's just a matter of following through.
Which is why I don't understand the plethora of '"i'm not a bitch because I rejected you" and "I have standards" blah blah blah from women. This is not a reflection of how they actually behave. Half the guys women say they're too good for they will, or have, had sex with anyway. So what are they talking about? Too good for what? they just want to come across as 'better' and 'unattainable'
Oh please... Many women I know won't even ask a guy out because they're scared of being rejected. And the ones that do ask and are rejected, swear they will never ask again. Don't believe me? You can (and probably have) read questions and myTakes about it on here already.
Most people girls as well as boys fail to understand that rejection doesn't mean that the next person is thinking you're not good enough for them.. it can and mostly does mean you're just not for each other.. it basically ends up on compatibility and from my personal experience 70% of the time it's not about the looks..
Girls do it as well. Knocked back a couple of girls who i worked with in the past coz i was wirh somebody. They turned into catty, ice queens. I heard they were calling me all sorts behind my back. I pulled them up and you get the usual, they stay silent and give you a look of contempt as if how dare you. This isn't a man to woman problem, its a people problem. Women handle rejection badly as well. They turn bitchy as hell. If anything id say women are the worst for it
Everything a woman does is to avoid rejection and not harm her ego. Girls in general don't message first because if they do it would give clear signs she likes you a lot. Girl in general don't approach guys first because again it shows she is interested in you a lot and give men a sense of power that she wants him. Girls don't ask guys out on dates because again same reason.
Now when a woman has sex with you she can't just pretend she reveals her whole hand. She can't pretend you were nothing to her but a guy she was using for attention or to get free meals after that. She's basically gone all in.
Hence why so many women get very upset/broken down over a guy they had sex with not reciprocating with relationships but they would not act like this to a guy who they went out on platonic dates with and who they enjoyed talking/speaking to.
*Hence why so many women get very upset/broken down over a guy they had sex with that did not reciprocating with relationships but they would not act like this to a guy who they went out on platonic dates with and who they enjoyed talking/speaking to.
@BubbleBoy69 its simple. Womens egos and personalities are built on superficial crap like looks and dress sense. They know how fragile they are. Like a house with no foundations. The house collapses as soon as there's the slightest shake thats why they can't handle rejection and responsibility. Its simply kills them. Theyre forced to face the reality that they're not strong, independent women, thats the fantasy. In reality they're scared little girls dressed up in their mums high heels and make up and pouting like children. If i think im something its because im usually the opposite. If i think im a macho hard man, everybody else usually sees an uptight pussy who can't fight sleep. A lot of women dont like competition or rejection or responsibility coz they know deep down there's nothing to them and they'll be forced to question everything about themselves
Most guys respect you whether you respect them or not because society says so. Some guys have more understanding and give respect where respect is due. Then there are the guys who drive into oncoming traffic while wearing a sombrero and shaking maracas. I think those are the ones you're referring to. Bottom line: Some guys are ass backwards. Some girls are ass backwards too but you know the majority of society allows that.
You're absolutely right in most cases, for sure. Do women do the same thing? How do they handle rejection?
For men, confidence is the coin of the realm, right? Confident men win, while humble men are humbled. This might be why you are only noticing the men who don't take rejection well: because they are more desirable than the men who understand why an attractive woman wouldn't want him?
I know it seems paradoxical, but take it from a certified man with a penis: all of that bravado is a means of shucking off the damage done by rejection and maintaining confidence. It is a way of transferring any perception of flaw from the rejectee back to the rejector. At least that's myTake... er, my take. ;)
FWIW, I don't react to rejection that way, but then again, I probably don't come off as the most confident guy in the room either. So admittedly, there's a chance I have no idea of what I am talking about... but in this case, I feel pretty confident about this opinion. :)
Guys with real confidence can, and not uncommonly do, convert an initial rejection into a later success.
The "you bitch" guys are THE ESSENCE OF CREEPY ITSELF. They are the EXACT opposite of EVERYTHING that confidence is and does -- and, I'll be honest with you here, it fucking worries me that you could possibly mistake that shit for confidence in any possible way, shape, or form.
i actually wrote a whole opinion on that, somewhere -- i'll try to dig it up
OP, please don't take what I wrote as an endorsement of these guys' behavior. ("Bad mouthing a woman because she simply rejects you is not ok") I did start out my comment with "you're absolutely right in most cases, for sure..." right?
Just because I understand, or am confident that I understand what drives the behavior is not an endorsement of it. To be honest, it has always struck me as odd. "Wait, ten seconds ago you were madly in love with her. Now she's a bitch? Why? Because she's not attracted to you? Eyeroll."
@redeyemindtricks I totally get the "prospective rapist" aspect of how this is creepy behavior. Doesn't explain it from the male perspective though, that's how you, a female, reacts to it, and justifiably so.
I am confused by something that I hope you'll clear up though - in your post you linked here, you wrote these guys can't graciously take "no" for an answer, but here you wrote that...
... "Guys with real confidence can, and not uncommonly do, convert an initial rejection into a later success."
Totally NOT all confrontational about this, because I'll bet there's a good explanation, and if anyone can clear it up, it is you. :)
In fact, I'll take a wild guess, based on your age, that it is from the perspective of a more mature woman. I have suspected for a while that as women get more mature, they get more cautious and gradual, and that a guy shouldn't ask a mature woman out the first time he meets her unless he gets a REALLY powerful signal.
Redeye seems to suggest these guys aren't confident at all. They're big babies throwing tantrums. That's a good point, if that is your point.
Merriam-Webster suggests that confidence is perceived internally, while bravado is perceived externally. They don't strike me as mutually exclusive behaviors either.
I wonder if, in our conversations about "confidence" as a sexually attractive thing, we might mean "bravado." I honestly haven't considered it until just now, so I don't know. Considering some swaggering guys I know who get beautiful women, and those women say they are into "the bad boy," I suspect there might be something to this.
@redeyemindtricks OK, I finally got through all of that. I particularly liked how you summarized it all. :)
This is one of those situations where someone posts a thing stating how they disagreed with me, but the more we talk, it starts to feel more and more like we agree.
You mentioned following a protocol as a means to finding confidence. If your method doesn't work, you have to change it out and find one that works. Then, as you stated, you have to continue to practice it until it is refined and works reliably, and finally, you'll consistently succeed and become confident.
Did I get all of that right? :)
If so, that's what I see these guys doing - faking it until they make it. Perhaps bravado is a means of faking it until they can find a way to truly be successful and appear confident, by really being confident.
Just as you stated how much more confident you felt in your job as a commercial model and how people feel confident by raising their arms in a "victory" salute...
... guys can "win" by reclassifying their rejectors as unworthy of them.
Again, I don't do this, I don't advocate it, but I think I understand it.
I still hope you'll clarify the apparent contradiction of how a guy can't graciously take "no" for an answer, yet he can bounce back and turn "no" into "yes" by means of confidence.
I suspect you do have a good answer for this. I think it is important to clear it up, though, because there is a raging debate about whether or not guys should try to escape from The Friendzone. I have been of the opinion that there isn't a way out. Encouraging guys to convert out without being specific might be, shall we say, a potential disservice to women everywhere?
I really agree with the part where you mention how guys call girls bitch just for the refusal of having sex with them. I don't get it. They call easy girls whore, slut, and other degrading names but when you oppose to their advance, they get all violent. I think they want the girls to be easy ONLY to them, not to other guys, which is something we call 'self-entitlement'
Most girl are shallow. Here why not because we get rejected. First it take a lot courage for some guy even ask girl out. He put a lot thought and effort even before doing so. When the guy, finally ask the girl out and get rejected. Here where the bitch come in. She is not all good, because his friend and family think he deserves tgreat girl because he a nice guy or what ever stand. That the girl miss out on someone nice
Your obviously are missing the point. If a guy (as sweet as he may be) comes up to me and ask me out and I don't fine him attractive. I tell him thank you but no. And let me tell you how I have been called every bitch, slut and ho in the book. And for what, because I'm genuinely not interested. Men need to chill out. It's never that serious. If someone doesn't find you attractive that's fine. And devoid of whatever reason she may has, she still should be respected!
The point is that if a guy asks me out and I tell him no he'll get and angry and call me a bitch. Like I'm suddenly somehow a terrible person for not wanting your dick. If someone doesn't like you back, don't lash out at them. Just simply move on with your life because there are plenty of fish in the sea. Both men and women have standards.
Nobody is entitled to a relationship with anybody. It is just a two-way agreement, nothing more.
If you can't grasp that, then you have a serious issue with how our society operates, and it has nothing to do with whether you are male or female.
It's meaningless to bitch about being rejected, because relationships don't form on basis of you deserving somebody, but rather on the basis of somebody wanting to be wish you.
Of course, I was not referring to you, I am just saying that the whole idea of "I paid the dinner and listened to her stupid talks, and then that bitch rejected me" or whatever guys say not only goes both ways (I sucked his dick and he won't even take me to dinner and be in a relationship with me), but is also a completely flawed and an unrealistic way to look at relationships.
The point is, your post doesn't directly talk about this, but a lot of guys think that they have DESERVED somebody and then they call the girl a bitch for being UNGRATEFUL. When that's not at all how realationships (get it?) work.
The reason I wrote what I did is that your post completely misses the point, in general. Girls don't reject guys because they are bitchy, stuck up, prude or whatever. They reject them because they DON'T WANT TO BE WITH THEM for some reason or another. That's literally all there is to it. And the same thing goes in the other direction. All the tension and various theories are really quite meaningless.
If you think that my post completely missed the point then you did not understand it at all. This mytake was not about women rejecting guys because they are bitchy, this was about men who see them that way just because they rejected them
I already know that This mytake was not about why men call women bitchy for rejecting them, it was about negative reactions by men who get rejected by women
Yeah, you're right. I just try to look into things a bit too deep sometimes, I think. I am always looking for a reason for something, rather than what's the result of certain things. But I had that kind of guy mentality and have evolved past it, so I find it quite peculiar and actually know exactly how it works. "If you keep saying it out loud, you might be able to convince yourself of it." is generally what happens, so guys will often say those kinds of things just to make themselves feel better, and attempt to appear better in the eyes of others.
First of all, women take rejection 10 times harder than men. Secondly, there is a third and default way we handle rehection: We just move on. Usually when men call women names is when they are really frustrated or rejected in a very shameful manner... This os a poor my take for an editor.
rs154.pbsrc.com/.../nsr_zpsecc87e0c.gif I'm sure we're all aware of guys who behave in this way, and girls who act in a similar fashion. And by no means are these people in anyway representative of all guys and girls.
But what was the point you were trying to put across?
This is something that both genders do though. Certain people aren't used to being told no, and so they get angry when it comes to rejection. I know girls who react the same way that those guys do.
I don't think men who talk about women being bitches act like that from just 1 rejection. It's from A LOT of REJECTIONS. Some of which the guy felt totally taken advantage of because a lot of girls won't outright reject you but string u along with false hope so they can use you for attention/ego boost.
Others the girl may have just outright lied to the guy. Being rejected is one thing but being taken for a fool is another.
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