Don't let shyness be your handicap!

[Stacyzee]

Your shyness is a handicap because it puts you at a disadvantage.

When you allow it to criple you to the extent that there

are many missed opportunities, then you are put at a major set back.

Your shyness controls every aspect of your life.

Instead of being the designated driver,

you take the back seat and allow yourself to be steered off into any direction.

"Where am I ?" you ask yourself, when you realize you were taken to an unfamiliar setting .

If you were to speak up, you could have had an effect on the aftermath of the situation.

Now you have to deal with never knowing if the end result could have been different.

When you allow yourself to be shy.

You are inside of your shell.

Your mind tends to overthink every day occurences.

You are filled with self doubt and lack of confidence.

You become saddened that you missed out on opportunities in life such as:

• Meeting people


• Enjoying every day interactions with others.


• Gaining new experiences.

The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.

Do you want to continue to take the back seat in life?

Do you want to continue to wonder how things could have been?

Don't let shyness be your handicap!

Get to the bottom of what is causing it in the first place.

Pull out what is allowing you to be at a drawback.

Bring it to surface.

Work on you!

You deserve it!

We all could be a more improved version of ourselves.

[Anonymous]

I like being shy because it appeals to my introversion. I don't if you believe in God or not but I remember in like middle school God asked me if I wanted to be a social type of person or not. I told him "I just wanna be left alone." Been introverted ever since. I think being shy also appeals to my mysteriousness. So many girls seem to draw attraction towards it. I don't know if they think it's cute. Maybe they see it as a challenge to get me to "open up". Still I don't think shyness is necessarily a bad thing just like running your mouth and being non-shy isn't always bad though it can be.

Sure when you're shy you can miss opportunities, but when you're not shy you can too. People see you as a loud mouth. People want to hurt you for running off the mouth all the time. Typically you may seem or become a jerk to people. There are good and bad for both sides.

The key is if you're shy use it to your advantage instead of disadvantage. I can't say it hasn't been a disadvantage to me sometimes, but other times it has been a huge advantage. It has made me more humble. It has allowed me to stay under the radar. I like not being seen. This is what I want. What other people want in their lives is up to them. If changing from being shy works for you then that's great.

[Stacyzee]

Being shy is fine but as stated it is only a handicap if you let it control every aspect in your life.
I was extremely shy to the point where people thought i was mute. Being shy can only be looked at as a disadvantage if you allow it to disable you in life. For those people this article is for them

[Stacyzee]

Maybe not every is as extreme as me but for those people disappointed with themselves because they were too shy to talk to someone or experience new things then I urge them to do something about it.
If u are happy with urself there's no need to change

[Stacyzee]

*Maybe not everyone

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I know. I've been there. I've been so shy before that I would literally sweat in class when others looked at me. Not anymore. I'm still shy, but I again use it to my advantage. Once I know someone I'm not shy at all. Still introverted, but not shy. It's useful for me. I understand what you're doing though. I think that's nice.

[Stacyzee]

Thanks <3

I like that you stated that being loud mouth is bad too.

I think what's important to find in life is a healthy balance between the two.

You don't want to be too shy to where u watch a lot of missed opportunities pass you by.
You don't want to be too loud to where u scare people away.

[CocoRachelle]

As a shy introvert with anxiety, this is pretty much true. I've had to overcome it many times, and it's always a challenge. Sometimes it's really worth it. :)

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

Some people are just shy. I don't see it as a "handicap." Actually, I know shy people with several friends and great lives.

I think being too talkative can put you at more of a disadvantage. It's tough to hate on a shy person but if someone talks and initiates often, there is a good chance they can say something you hate. My generation is so narrow minded stuck up, it doesn't matter much anyway. People will find a reason to have an issue with you no matter what it seems.

[Stacyzee]

In life it's great to find a healthy balance between shyness and being over talkative.
You never want to be so shy that you don't experience much in life.
And you don't want to be so talkative that you scare people away.

There are different levels of shyness.
Not everyone's shyness is the same.
So, it's really hard to compare everyone and group them in one basket.
This article is pretty much for those that let it control their life.

My shyness was so severe at during my early days at 6 years old, 1st grade I was thought to be a mute kid.
My teachers and prinicipal saw that I was smart and that I did all of the work in class.
But they didn't believe my parents when they said I had a voice, because I literally never used it
I eventually came out of my shell a bit more as I grew older.
I still was very very shy... to the point where there were missed opportunities (such as bfs etc.)
But the older I grew the more I learned to control it.
At this point it doesn't affect me.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

You make good points. Perhaps I should have elaborated on my response.

I guess in extreme cases, like your case, shyness can really hold you back. They call these types "selective mutes." I was just going on about the typical shy person. On the other hand, I know some extreme cases where some people are so overbearing, talkative, and forward, it scares people away and nobody likes them. I remember video game "geeks" in high school who fell into this category.

Just like you, I was severely shy as a kid. I remember I never talked in my K-2 years. Never. Teacher worried about me and I was basically in the same boat as you: Very smart, yet, very "weird."

When I hit about 9-12 years old, I was still shy but not near as shy. I would speak if I was spoken to and I would occasionally start a conversation.

When I hit 13, something happened: My shyness went away. Every since then, I've always been talkative (on a mediocre scale, not overbearing.)

[Stacyzee]

It's great to see someone has a similar story.
I'm glad you conquered it.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

@Take Owner Well thanks! Unfortunately, I still don't have hardly any friends at all and I've still never dated... but oh well, things could be worse.

[BatDoc]

Some people aren't shy, they are introverts. And you are clearly an extrovert.

www.fastcocreate.com/.../your-guide-to-interacting-with-an-introvert

[Stacyzee]

I am speaking about shyness.
I once was shy to the point where I didn't speak at all.
No one believed my parents (during my early school days), that I even had a voice.
They thought I was a mute kid.
It took years for me to come out of my shell and be able to speak, with full confidence.

[Stacyzee]

This article is purely about shyness.

[Stacyzee]

I appreciate you input but I do not like to be labeled without people knowing my back story.

[BatDoc]

Sorry. Not designed to offend. It's just the same kind of thing I hear from extroverts all the time. And I've seen a lot of introverts in my time that were forced out of their shells and made to act like extroverts. And it just wasn't who they were.

If you long to be with people and you get nervous, then you are shy. If you don't want to be around people or being around people exhausts you, then you're an extrovert.

Again, sorry for labeling. Don't see many extroverts who are shy. But there are always exceptions.

[Stacyzee]

I found that being that way led me to miss out on a lot of great opportunities. I once missed out on telling boys I liked them (several times, different situations), and because of this shortly after (people that never knew I liked those boys), ended up dating that person.
I have many other different examples.
I feel like being shy is beyond just a personality trait. It can be crippling if you allow it to control every aspect of your life.
I am shy till this day... but no one would ever know b/c I hide it so well.
People are shy for different reasons, it's not always just a personality trait.
It can be due to insecurity. low self esteem, self doubt , not knowing how to deal with a new setting etc.
For people that are shy for those reasons, they can work on those things to come out of their shell.

[Stacyzee]

And it is okay I am not offended.

[FatherJack]

Shyness & introversion are always confused , I deal with people sometimes in my work , but really stick just with my family , to be blunt too many people are just ignorant sheeple , that can't think for themselves , with just annoys me !! So I generally don't mix with others by choice... I am about to have my in-laws inflicted on me as it is my daughters birthday soon , I just say quick hello , then retreat to my office / dining room for some peace !!

[Stacyzee]

Good point.

Shyness and introverted is not the same thing.

My very first commenter seemed to get them confused.

[steveguitar]

Yeah, shyness is no good, but if it is who you are it is who you are. I think that sooner or later in life people who are shy tend to find each other and become friends or more, you just know when you ha e found a person like yourself. But you should try to explore other avenues in life.

[K-Cool-Dude]

Well, I was so bashful before that I wouldn't even talk to girls, if not on-purpose. But now, I personally feel that I have missed a lot of my life and spend most of the time thinking and planning everything. But it turned out that things would have been better if I would have spend those time expressing myself. I could have been a good friend, a good student and a good son.

[Mesonfielde]

I like being in the backseat though. I also sometimes am not even shy, I just don't really have anything to say about the subject, haha.

[Stacyzee]

Well then ur shyness isn't a handicap :P.
Being shy from time to time is perfectly normal.

[Jxpxtxr]

I'm only ever shy when it comes to, well, the 'dating world' and I'm pretty sure it is one of the reasons why I've never had a boyfriend, so I agree that it is a handicap for me in terms of 'finding love', I don't think you gave particularly good advice as to overcome shyness when it comes to approaching people you find interesting though.. And it's probably very hard if you've never been shy yourself and have overcome it already..
All you say is "The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid." but how is this even applicable when you see someone on the street or at a coffee shop that you find incredibly attractive but are just way too shy to approach them? If you know any way, please let me know.
Other than that I liked this take.

[Stacyzee]

"I don't think you gave particularly good advice as to overcome shyness when it comes to approaching people you find interesting though" This wasn't a mytake on how to overcome shyness. If that were the case, that would have been my title and the whole approach would have been different. This mytake was simply put to let people be aware that their shyness is holding them back and they should try to work towards getting it over.

[Jxpxtxr]

Lol trust me, we know it is holding us back.

[Jxpxtxr]

- we don't need mytakes to tell us that..

[Stacyzee]

I'm sure we all do.
People usually are aware of things but they do nothing about it.
This can pertain to anything such as making the wrong choices with food, relationships, friends etc.
This is just simply just a reminder for people to be aware of their problem and try to work on it to the best of their ability.
Also, using the word handicap to describe shyness is an extreme (that people don't usually hear).
Saying it that way, allows me to express the extent of what shyness can do to another.

[Stacyzee]

"we don't need mytakes to tell us that.. "
No one needs anything but natural life resources.
I don't see what your point is.

[Jxpxtxr]

Well, my point is just that I was probably hoping for a little more than you simply saying that "shyness is a handicap" and tell us all to work on ourselves but totally miss the point on how we could manage to do that.
Anyways, just my opinion.

[Stacyzee]

I didn't "miss" any points. I already told you my intent of this article... which others seem to have gotten. A part of helping someones problem is helping them to realize how it's badly hindering their development. I could go on and on with tips... without scratching the surface.
I feel it's more important to make people AWARE before anything.
We live in the age where any information is accessible. If someone wanted to overcome their shyness there and millions of sites available to do so.
Perhaps, in future I will create a mytake on how to overcome shyness along with my personal experiences.
Thanks for reading!

[Jxpxtxr]

Well, I did get the point of this mytake, although I don't think there are a lot of shy people who are actually denying how shyness is getting in their way sometimes so it's not like they didn't know it was bothering them before, just tried to give some tips for improvement if you plan on writing a mytake again ;) And in general, if you tell people to change, maybe give them some help on how to imply that change, too - but that is just a nice bonus thing to do. :)

[Jxpxtxr]

And thank you for taking the time to reply!

[Stacyzee]

Some people remain in denial.
And that mindset can apply to anything such as:
Drug user, ones weight, promiscuous life style etc.
People need to become self AWARE before they can change.
If someone is not self-aware why would they want to fix anything?
Some people need to know how badly something is affecting them, then the real work can start.
Great job!
Its sound like you are self aware.
Not every one is.
Some people need the recognition of how bad something is highlighted for them.
That is what the goal of this mytake was.
If I could do that for those who aren't self-aware and give them the urgency to want to make that change... then that's helping in my opinion.
Not everyone needs the same "type" of help.

[Stacyzee]

For future I can continue this with "tips" which will provide even more help for those who are shy.
But this mytake can be considered Step (1) Self awareness first.
Scratch that surface then Step (2) Tips can start.

If step 1 doesn't happen first... then
a whole page of tips will be stared at blankly by that person.

[Stacyzee]

Because they do not recognize they have a problem.. <3

[Jxpxtxr]

I agree :)

[Stacyzee]

Also I type 100 wpm :P so I reply pretty fast lol

[bloodmountain1990]

Easier said than done but do you think it's possible for shyness to go on and off? As in sometimes you're very outgoing but sometimes you can be shy and nervous?

[Stacyzee]

Nobody said it was easy.

There are different levels of shy.
Feeling shy time to time is normal.
So, what you listed I think that's normal

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah but it's worse when it happens at work considering I do sales.

[Stacyzee]

So, that means you're in contact with different people pretty much all of the time.
Do you often find yourself getting shy at work?
Yeah, in that case pretty bad.
How do you handle that?

[springocelot]

i needed this. i've been feeling like crap the last few days.

[Stacyzee]

I hope you feel better <3

Although I must say it's hard to sense a tone through the Internet.
Are u being sarcastic? Or truthful?

Either way , my intentions of this were to uplift /motivate.

[springocelot]

i'm being truthful. i got yelled at the other day and it's been getting to me.

[Stacyzee]

:( Aw. -hugs-

[Anonymous]

I always see photos of girls doing that thing at the beach where they hug or hold hands looking at out the ocean with someone taking a photo of them from behind. Like does a friend just do that spontaneously or do they pose. That would just seem so fake and awkward doing that in person but I see photos like that all the time that I think they set it up and do those poses looking out at the ocean just to get a good photo to post on social media.

[John_Doesnt]

There's a difference between being shy and apprehensive. Most people are "shy" because they're actually afraid of what others might say and with good reason. They've probably been hurt in the past and avoiding confrontation is sometimes the better option.
Just face it that most people are mean and inconsiderate. Which is why being shy is justified and not a handicap.

[Stacyzee]

Yea , I agree.

In my responses below I stated to several users there are different levels of shy.
We cannot group all in one basket.

In my article , I was trying to show how it can be seen as a handicap.
If you literally let every potentially great experience pass you by , it can be looked at as a handicap.

Being apprehensive like you described I wouldn't consider it a handicap because it's understandable and something everyone goes through.

[Stacyzee]

In my life I was so shy that I didn't even speak. For years lots of great opportunities pass me by. This is in no relation to simple apprehension which you describe.

[Ashely_Princess]

I'm shy and I can say it's definitely ruining my life but I'm trying to come out of my shell though :/

[Stacyzee]

Well, great it hasn't gotten to that level yet.
Not every one is the same "level" of shy.

[Ashely_Princess]

Yeah :P

[YourFutureEx]

This is my weakest point. If I weren't a shy guy, I'd be more successful and happier person. :'(

I even hesitate in sending message to friends or even bff too. :(

And I don't think I'd even do anything regarding this.

[muspelhem_5]

I like the quote, think there's a lot of truth in that.

[QuestionMan]

Great take so true, I'm working on being more outgoing myself.

[loveudarling]

being shy can ruin ur life... life is one enjoy it frankly

[Darkest-Knight]

Good Post. Being shy can kill your life. Trust me.

[doctorwhofan23]

You have tips?

[Stacyzee]

This isn't a "tips on how to overcome being shy" mytake. This is a take on to influence people to dig deeper and find ways to overcome the shyness that is stopping them.
However If you want tips feel free to pm me so I can share how I overcame shyness and hopefully can help you.

[Anonymous]

handicap? it has destroyed my life... .

[YourFutureEx]

Same here :(

[freakyzeaky]

It can feel this way sometimes, trust me, I know that feel. Mostly because as a guy, we are the ones who are expected to be outgoing, lead both in conversations and in relationships, and have boatloads of confidence. It can make approaching women feel like taking on Godzilla in a one-on-one battle. It can make dating feel like climbing Mt. Everest. It can creep into relationships and make your woman lose interest if you aren't careful.

Shyness holds us back from taking risks. That really is all there is to it.

The best way to do about tackling the problem is to take babysteps towards overcoming the fear and treat everything like a learning experience. You aren't going to be a social master in just a few conversations, you aren't going to consistently get laid or appeal to that special someone within the first week, first month, or even first year of working on it.

Go out, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, and take even the smallest of triumphs as progress.

[RasAlGhul]

is easy to say it...

[Stacyzee]

Put in the work.

Who said it was easy?

[RasAlGhul]

there is people who is shy... im really shy when i dont know people but when i do... but yeah being shy dont help a lot making friends or geting girls

[Stacyzee]

I know what you mean. I spent half of my life being shy and I realized it only held me back.
It doesn't get better by itself

[RasAlGhul]

everybody its diferent... some people get some nice group and never need too get some more friends os girlfriend or whatever they got work realation and when all its going go its more easy

[Stacyzee]

People usually break out of their shyness when they are with people they know in a familiar setting.
Yes, that is true.
However, the shyness never truly goes away.
It follows you every time you face something new.