Maybe I'm too nice for my own good

[angelling]

I'm sure I'm not the only who has ever thought this. That you're just too nice for your own good. Afterall, it's well known that being nice can have some negative effects, like the rest of the world not being nice.

But I wouldn't want to change for anything.

You may be like me, a nice person that is so sweet you give toothaches. I have a hard time being mean, saying "no" takes some pratice, I can easily feel bad for people (even if they maybe don't deserve it). I stick up for all sides, I'm very friendly and polite and couldn't fathom being anything else. But it comes with a lot of things like people taking advantage of your kindness or not returning the favour. After the umpteenth time of your niceness just being run over like roadkill you start to think perhaps you're just too nice for your own good. Perhaps you won't survive in this world being as nice as you are and you're going to need to get mean if you want to make it. But this way of thinking is wrong and we shouldn't see being nice as some kind of weakness or burden.

There are a lot of mean, judgmental or harsh people around. Sometimes these people abuse nice people whether they know it or not but this doesn't mean you should stop being nice. Why become like them? And why is being nice such a bad thing? It isn't. With the way the world is, it's refreshing to have nice people. People who are generally kind and like to do the right thing and treat others well and respectfully. This is good because although you may have felt at times like this was a bad thing for you, you never know whose day you've just made just by being you. You never know who really has appreciated you coming into their life and you just being yourself. You don't stop to look and see that actually, the world needs people like you. You're not too nice for your own good, you're nice enough. Everyone gets hurt/betrayed or feels used at some point but you shouldn't allow it to change you. Keep being nice! The world needs it, you are a blessing in disguise and not a weakness.

[Kalibie]

Very very relatable! In my case I'm not sure if it's nurture or nature as I act nice calm and gentle partly due to my mother being emotionally abusive and I would get punished for getting angry.

In the end though my calm and mellowness may not be natural, but my nice and optimism is something I've always had.

I can't understand why people can be mean or bad, why anyone can hate.

My boyfriend says I'm naive and too honest, but I say I'd rather be proven wrong that people I trust are good then proven right.

For the most part people I think are neutral, And react to you by mirroring you, because all people want to be nice and good, even the bad people. And the more nice people like us the better. I'd rather take a few hits if it means positivity can be spread.

[angelling]

Very true, I've been called naive, also but you don't stop cooking just because you get a few burns. We're just naturally nice and we like it! And how refreshing is it when you encounter someone else who's a really nice person?

[Kalibie]

Haha, it's nice, odd thing is I'm actually rather logical, but I suppose it's just another reason why bad people shock me?

Human behavior is sometimes predictable, people like to feel like the good guy even if they aren't particularly good is an example. But some people act so... Vengeful i just don't understand how that works.

Like killing your ex's pets just to make them suffer even though the animal lived with you and is innocent. How can people want to cause so much pain just for the sake of it?

It's really rather awesome, especially since people don't expect me to be nice cause I'm not religious.

[AvalanceJD]

I really want to thank you for this, recently i had a long conversation with a friend of mine who was explaining to me that being nice pretty much won't get you anywhere. In this world being kind can be seen as a weakness by many and they will try to take advantage of you. I don't want to change neither want a reward for doing good or help others, but i've learned to be cautious. Glad to read posts like that !

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Sorry but in this world, being too nice gets you used and abused by people. My dad told a guy to stop yellubg at his girlfriend and the girl ended up yelling at my dad. Id let people borrow my stuff only for them not to return it. Im not butter or angry at the world but I've accepted it as it is. I mind my own business, everyone minds their own business. Its every man and women for hin and her seld. Good luck.

[angelling]

My point in this take was that despite all this happening, do not change because the world needs nice people and the niceness could really help someone else who needs it. So, yes, you will be used and abused but it doesn't mean you need to think of yourself as weak or need to change. It's the people who abuse who need to change not the nice people.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Or you can just stop caring. That would be better especially aince society trys to impose its ideas on us all the time. Skinny girls think they are fat because they are not as skinny as the models. Thats a perfect example. Oh well, in the end of the day, your going to do what you want and im going to do what i want.

[angelling]

I'm confused by your reply but caring is part of the whole being nice thing. I don't want to stop caring and I'm not complaining, I'm just trying to make other nice people feel better about being who they are.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Oh, now i understand lol. Since we had a cool conversation about this, can i get mho.

[Monsters]

No my dear mercy is not allowing others to hurt if he hurts your kids that is not mercy. if they hurt you they hurt others.
And you have to be selfish in rhe dating world.
Sorry dont raise a white flag when someone raises a red one.
Nice is not naive nice is not gullible.
Nice is being nice to yourself.
You dont need to rescue you dont need to save the day.
God i hate when girls rescue or try to changw guys you gotta love him for him not the future him

And subjecting kids to abuse to be nice is not nice to the kids you need a backbone.

[becca123]

There's a difference between being nice and being a doormat. If you don't feel the act, don't do it. In other words, if you don't really want to do something for someone, don't do it "just to be nice." Kindness has its limits.

[angelling]

This is very true. I've learnt how to be nice without allowing myself to be walked over.