We’re always encouraged from childhood to be nice to others, but when it comes to how we treat other people, there’s being kind and then there’s going overboard in the nice department. It’s important to ask ourselves few very important questions.Like
'Are we overly accommodating to others? Do i let people to walk all over me? Do i consistently put others’ needs before my own?
So if you think that you're attempts to be nice have crossed the line and qualified you as a pushover, then here are few points that you should take note of-
1. People would see you as weak and take advantage of you.
Being able to say “no” can be a major struggle for those who are too nice, which can lead to some serious exploitation.Being too nice may give your friends and family the impression that they can impose on you. They don’t expect you to push back, so they’ll load you more because they know you won’t say no to them.
2. Attracting the wrong kind of people.
Kindness may be a prerequisite for healthy and meaningful relationships, but an utter inability to set boundaries can come across as an invitation to those with draining emotional needs. Its just like if you would be excessively nice to someone then you would automatically attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, 'guilt tripping you if you don't do something for them' types of people.
3. You’ll find it hard to be happy yourself.
This mainly happens when you are so focused on making others happy that you neglect your own happiness. Even consistently making small decisions in order to not disappoint anyone or to meet people’s perceived expectations can get you in trouble. In order to stop this, you need to first identify your values and start applying them to your life.Otherwise, you’ll always be marching to the beat of someone else’s proverbial drum.
4. Few people would not trust you easily.
This sad fact means that if you are truly nice, you're liable to be occasionally misunderstood and even viewed with suspicion. People would believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind, otherwise, why would you be nice to them. Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there cannot, surely, be such a thing as 'too nice' for no reason.
5.You'll warp your expectations
Being endlessly selfless can skew your perspective leading you to expect others to put their interests aside for you just as you would for them. Its just like if someone is being too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted.
6. You would start developing unrealistic expectations.
When you are being too nice to others, you develop unrealistic expectations for them to do the same. When they do not meet these expectations, you may become angry and resentful.What's important here is that it becomes difficult to understand that they were taking care of their own needs, and that it was our responsibility to do the same for ourself.
7. People would come to you only when they need something.
When you are too nice to people, they would only see you as a means to an end. People would only come to you when they think you can help them out, because they are seeing you only as a tool to help them meet their goals. This pattern can spiral out of control if you do not set boundaries to nip it as soon as possible.
At last being nice is not a bad thing. But being excessively nice, that's where the problem lies. Moreover being nice can also be a choice. But it's the intent that makes a difference. 'Are you being nice because you want others to be nice to you? Or are you being nice so that you are appreciated for your Good Girl/Guy act? Or just for your own sake because it makes you feel good?' The intent is important as that determines how long you can stay the way you are and how long people can take advantage of you.
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