Girls, Keep Your Mouth Shut

[Jolson131]

Girls I promise sometimes the best thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut and not worry about the right thing to say or to just be right in general. This will help a lot in dating or just relationships in general dealing with guys.

The reason I'm writing this take is because I have experienced this unparalleled frustration when dealing girl friends or girlfriends. You always want to be right. We all do, but being right isn't always as important as letting a guy do what he thinks is best.

My example is coming from a point where I was working on a project and my girlfriend kept giving input. So I was working on a video project and I get really creative with videos BC they are my passion. I like to think outside of the box which requires me to do things that aren't "normal" with the production. Well this girlfriend continued to tell me how she thought it should be done. While it was thoughtful to want to help, it only held me back. She criticized me for my thinking through my personality. What I mean by that is that I let go of logic and let the creative portion of my mind go crazy till I find the perfect idea. Her ideas were logical but who wants to watch something that is cookie cutter logic. I want my videos to be unique.

Women talk about how they want a guy to be themselves and to be that person in the best possible way, yet they always feel the need to put in their two sense and want logic over maybe what the guy wants. Its not just with projects that this happens, but even with doing certain chores. Guys aren't just being stubborn when you tell them to do something one way and they do it different. I get called stupid for doing things different BC it doesn't fit into what girls define as logical. Let him be himself and if his ideas don't work out thats fine as long as he learns.

Being smart isn't only based on if you can repeat the same task endlessly in an easy way that always works. Sometimes the smart people are the ones who continue to find new solutions to one problem.

[nalaa]

What I hear from your story is that you didn't tell her how you feel and then got frustrated she couldn't read your mind.

You felt she was calling you stupid, something she probably didn't realize she was doing and how is she ever going to realize if you don't tell her? She thought she was helping and when you got uspset wondered "what did I do wrong?". You're doing the very thing men usually accuse women of, expect you to just know what we want. But that's not how it works. The answer to your problem is not for her to never speak again because it might upset you, but for you to tell her why what she said was hurting you, so she won't do it again

[Jolson131]

No because I told her that I appreciated the advice but I was gonna do it how I wanted it and it pissed her off. Your entire last paragraph is incorrect because you assumed you were right... ironic right

[Jolson131]

You assumed you were right instead of asking if that's what happened*

[nalaa]

You told her that you were going to do it your way, but did you tell that what she said was hurting you?
You can't just assume she knows what you mean when she suggest something and you do it differently. It doesn't mean you don't want her input anymore, it just means you're doing that specific thing you way

I didn't need to ask because you told us what happened

[Jolson131]

Yes I explained to her I am OK with her giving advice but I don't like her criticizing my creative process especially considering how established it is for me. I make good products when I can be creative. And she didn't like that I didn't want her to criticize me for who I am.

[Doofey]

The title is a little strange. It comes off a bit different than what you are trying to discuss. To be honest I see this as a universal problem. Some people need to feel right all the time while others don't. I don't really think it has anything to do with on sex or the other.

[Winesteed]

This is an everyone trait. Everyone wants to be right. All the time. I actually experience unparalleled frustration when I am working on something and people of the male persuasion won't let me do it my way or presume that they have a better way of doing something and then try to force their ideas on me.

I get told how to do things when I'm doing housework.
I get told I'm playing video games wrong.
I get told that the way I decided to fix their computers "isn't how I'd do it" with this haughty look-down-your-nose-at-me tone.

But guess what- that chore I just did? Got done.
The video game I was playing? Beat it. 100% completion
Oh, and your computer works perfectly because I'm actually competent and know what I'm doing.

I get it a lot from men, but I get it from women too. This ain't a gender thing, this is a "people need to freaking respect each other and not be overbearing" thing.

[19magic]

Hmmm... wow all the comments knew people like this women and guys. I've got family members who try to mold me into this specific type of person but I generally ignorev them. But I choose my friends and if I hung out with them I'd like it to be that we're all great friends, cus I find talk like this condensending and just plain annoying. Unless it's a debate of course the only time stuff like this is allowed. If I want help, I'll ask I may ask whomever is helping questions but I wouldn't tell them what I'd do cus I'd have tried that already.

[lolatyou]

God she sounds like my mom. I get so exhausted with the constant nagging from some other women, even some of my girl friends do it. Like just take a deep breath and relax, let other people around you have some space. Just because you've got all this shit going on in your head, doesn't mean the rest of us should have to listen to it lol

[SIGguy]

Is it wrong to want no constructive criticism for a project that was yours, to begin with? Not really. My art teacher, Mrs. Chaplin, was more helpful than any other female in my life because she encouraged unconventional thinking. The other girls are lucky I like them enough to not call them Mussolini and tell them to hit the road. Generally, though, it's a personality trait. I've met plenty of guys like this.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

i forget if this came from, but it reminds me of this quote: "it's funny when women want help. don't tell us how to do it. if you can't do it, don't tell us how to do it. or if you wanna tell us how to do it, then why did you ask for help?"... it didn't really have to do with this take, which i agree with, but it just reminded me of it

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

This goes both ways. guys want girls to be honest and communicate and when we do we talk too much, you feel insulted... etc Also you guys aren't as logical as you think a lot ot the things men do literally make no damn sense at all.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

this is for everyone
everyone needs to learn to shut the fuck up lol

[karahiri]

She just sounds... controlling. And that's a trait men and women share.

[Applefan1]

I agree with this. I love it. Many women just need to chill out! and stop overthinking things and putting words in a guys mouth that he has not said.

[CafèMachiatto]

Aww it's so hard being you isn't it? You sound like a stubborn donk

[Jolson131]

😂 or I just know what I'm doing

[CafèMachiatto]

Or maybe you're just incompetent and you don't know how to articulate.

[Jolson131]

😂 you may be right

[CafèMachiatto]

More than likely I am right

[Jolson131]

Well considering we have never met you probably know me fairly well

[CafèMachiatto]

Yep, it's fairly to gauge what kinda man you are based on your take or whatever it is

[Anonymous]

I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think all girls are like your girlfriend so it's best not to generalize, but I have noticed that a lot of women cannot admit when they are wrong which is unfortunate.

[ChromAzonyx108]

You can't say anything wrong if you don't say anything at all.

[ChromAzonyx108]

However, then you can't say anything right either so it's a bit of a trade off. I agree though that it's not always about being right.

[Anonymous]

this is what happens when everyone has the right to free speech.

[SunsetRose]

I agree 100%. "Being right" is so overrated.

[Fugue]

No, it's not. I have studied this extensively and I'm ready to debate you. Prove me wrong!

[serious]

I would say this is a good take.