once you stop listening to what women SAY they want and start doing things that actually work there is little incentive to go back, and like you said the irony is that once you wake up you realize how low quality those women were and how much better you could do especially now since they got older and uglier and there is a new group of younger women right behind them waiting for you
its not "rejection" its just the wrong kind of "acceptance", if she was to tell him to f*** off then these problems wouldn't happen cause she would have sent him away. instead she keeps him around shows him interest, it may be the wrong kind of interest but keeps the guy confused anyway. its a lot WORSE than rejection and the worst thing is that girls don't even notice there doing it lol I've come to realize that the best way to avoid this is for THE GUY TO REJECT THE GIRL when this happens.
I have always been a nice guy. However I have always been the needy, clingy desperate reacher type, that buys her flowers all the time and wants to spend all my time with her. I pushed too hard for her to make a commitment. When the right time came, and man was it a romantic scene, I missed the moment because I was pushing too hard and there was other expectations crowding me out and then the moment was gone. I should have focused on being her friend and let it happen naturally. Live and learn
YESH! That doesn't sound much like recovery. Honestly, you guys are starting to scare me! There is some truth to what you say, but the same goes for "mean girls". Let's not be sexist about it. (Or bitter *rollseyes*) The mistake you're making is believing that all "nice guys" are suited for whomever they're attracted to. Maybe the mistake was on the part of the self-proclaimed nice guy. He made the mistake of not going for nice girls!
hahaha, don't get scare now, things are about to get worse in the near future, you said he made the mistake of not going for nice girls, you think the girls he dealt with weren't nice at all. he just realized the way to attract girls these days are to treat them the same way men treated you in the past... men are factual, based on the results we see around us, we will act on that
"Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. "
its not weird at all to spend time with a guy friend, I have lots of guy friends.
you're getting mad at people for not wanting to date someone they don't want to date. its not being nice that makes people not want to date u.its not wanting to date you that makes people not want to date u.
I will give you an example, I have known a girl who bf will treat her like shit, cheated on her multiple times which she knew about it but I will hear about it then she will say something like I wish I dated a guy like you which I will bust into laughter and will call on her bs statement. the problem is that what you say and do are two different things but as you reach 30's and up, single, you start to regret your mistake and you will have to compete with their younger girls when you find out men your age wants to date younger girls instead. To me, getting/sleeping with girls are easy, I don't put too much effort into it.
this is all true, and I would totally understand/support your rant... if you were 16. after a few years of dating, every guy with a brain realizes what works and what doesn't work. this usually involves liking someone and doing everything wrong and having to get over her. it's not women's fault for being that way, they naturally seek adventure and strength qualities in men.
you can still be a nice guy by not taking advantage of women once you learn to attract them
just so you don't completely lose faith in all girls:
some girls do fall for the nice guy. I have.
i agree with you that it sucks and is sort of hopelessly pathetic, how some girls go for those jerks that can't treat them right. but not all of us are like that. I'm never going to let some guy treat me like crap just so we can "have a relationship." I'm sure there are others like me out there. maybe you just haven't met one yes?
That is wrong. Women SAY the want someone who displays those qualities..so those types innocently believe that THAT is what they should be, but end up scratching their heads that when they present those qualities it is indeed 9/10 she wanted the handsome tall rich bad boy. They are indirectly lied to by women. Nice guys know that they don't have half those things the breadwinner does so he figures to compensate he will offer someone coincidently she claims to want and then x leads to 7 and yeah.
oh, the nice guy you have described is a pure dream, a gift of life. I'm not too old myself (in my early twenties) and I think any woman with a bit of sense would definitely like to have such a guy as a boyfriend. Someone of the opposite sex with whom you can share so much (not just engaging in idle talk about relationships and how bad guys are - the sorts of conversations you are bound have with your female friends) and who can share everything with you... that's how it should be, in my opinion
All these girls are disagreeing. He's saying that she didn't want the nice BFF guy, then was treated sh*tty by her BFF and realized she does want that BFF. The problem is he's now gone and changed to fit what girls go for. The nice guy is probably still inside him but he needs some repairs to bring it back out. lol
Hahaha nice. Except I doubt the girl audience here experienced this. They seem to all be the "nice" girl. But yeah I see what you're sayin and what types of girls you're talking about.
You should know that look also matter to a girl no matter what they tell you.
Why is this nice guy wasting all of his time following around a girl who isn't into him? That sounds as bad as the girl who is chasing the guy who isn't into her?
This is so true! I've known a lot if girls with guys friends just like this. "Nice guys". Personally, I've never had one, but I've seen it time and time again. And guys, I'm sorry if this happened to you. This shouldn't happen to anybody even though it does. Nobody should have to feel the pain of utter rejection. Even though they do anyway.
I agree completely with what he said. This is a great article that all girls should read. I have had so many women do this to me that I don't give a d*** anymore and now I shut my emotions out.
This article is not true at all. I love nice guys. I crave them. The reason I don't get with all the nice guys that hang around me is because they aren't what I want. Sure they're nice, but their personality isn't what I want. Why can't you understand it's more than just being nice? Why can't a girl have a guy friend? This whole article just doesn't seem fair to me.
Yup, that's right, it's all the opposite genders fault. Got a relationship problem? It's them, always them.
Okay, I'm not trying to start an argument here, even if it sounds like I am. It's just this sorta thing happens on both ends of the spectrum, and people don't seem to realize this. I mean, I would gladly go after a nice guy, and I'm only 19, but the thing is they're all going after the sluts. Plus if the girl didn't show anything towards you, then you can't really blame her. Just dealll
Many girls will keep nice guys around because of attention and emotional support and I applaud him for the decision he chose. if things weren't working for him, he had to change tactic to attract girls by learning, watching, observing and adapting new strategy to get the results he wanted... in my opinion, men don't respect sluts, we bang them because they are easy and can get it whenever we want and everyone has a time clock meaning that they are times where we want to have fun and to get serious. The same way you read magazines to improve yourself to attract men, we do it too except reading magazines, we learnt from others and change accordingly.
I understand what you're saying. But as women grow up, they realize that the nice guy IS actually what they want. Sometimes it just takes time and maturity.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
34Opinion
once you stop listening to what women SAY they want and start doing things that actually work there is little incentive to go back, and like you said the irony is that once you wake up you realize how low quality those women were and how much better you could do especially now since they got older and uglier and there is a new group of younger women right behind them waiting for you
its not "rejection" its just the wrong kind of "acceptance", if she was to tell him to f*** off then these problems wouldn't happen cause she would have sent him away. instead she keeps him around shows him interest, it may be the wrong kind of interest but keeps the guy confused anyway. its a lot WORSE than rejection and the worst thing is that girls don't even notice there doing it lol I've come to realize that the best way to avoid this is for THE GUY TO REJECT THE GIRL when this happens.
I have always been a nice guy. However I have always been the needy, clingy desperate reacher type, that buys her flowers all the time and wants to spend all my time with her. I pushed too hard for her to make a commitment. When the right time came, and man was it a romantic scene, I missed the moment because I was pushing too hard and there was other expectations crowding me out and then the moment was gone. I should have focused on being her friend and let it happen naturally. Live and learn
YESH! That doesn't sound much like recovery. Honestly, you guys are starting to scare me! There is some truth to what you say, but the same goes for "mean girls". Let's not be sexist about it. (Or bitter *rollseyes*) The mistake you're making is believing that all "nice guys" are suited for whomever they're attracted to. Maybe the mistake was on the part of the self-proclaimed nice guy. He made the mistake of not going for nice girls!
hahaha, don't get scare now, things are about to get worse in the near future, you said he made the mistake of not going for nice girls, you think the girls he dealt with weren't nice at all. he just realized the way to attract girls these days are to treat them the same way men treated you in the past... men are factual, based on the results we see around us, we will act on that
"Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. "
its not weird at all to spend time with a guy friend, I have lots of guy friends.
you're getting mad at people for not wanting to date someone they don't want to date. its not being nice that makes people not want to date u.its not wanting to date you that makes people not want to date u.
I will give you an example, I have known a girl who bf will treat her like shit, cheated on her multiple times which she knew about it but I will hear about it then she will say something like I wish I dated a guy like you which I will bust into laughter and will call on her bs statement. the problem is that what you say and do are two different things but as you reach 30's and up, single, you start to regret your mistake and you will have to compete with their younger girls when you find out men your age wants to date younger girls instead. To me, getting/sleeping with girls are easy, I don't put too much effort into it.
this is all true, and I would totally understand/support your rant... if you were 16. after a few years of dating, every guy with a brain realizes what works and what doesn't work. this usually involves liking someone and doing everything wrong and having to get over her. it's not women's fault for being that way, they naturally seek adventure and strength qualities in men.
you can still be a nice guy by not taking advantage of women once you learn to attract them
just so you don't completely lose faith in all girls:
some girls do fall for the nice guy. I have.
i agree with you that it sucks and is sort of hopelessly pathetic, how some girls go for those jerks that can't treat them right. but not all of us are like that. I'm never going to let some guy treat me like crap just so we can "have a relationship." I'm sure there are others like me out there. maybe you just haven't met one yes?
That is wrong. Women SAY the want someone who displays those qualities..so those types innocently believe that THAT is what they should be, but end up scratching their heads that when they present those qualities it is indeed 9/10 she wanted the handsome tall rich bad boy. They are indirectly lied to by women. Nice guys know that they don't have half those things the breadwinner does so he figures to compensate he will offer someone coincidently she claims to want and then x leads to 7 and yeah.
oh, the nice guy you have described is a pure dream, a gift of life. I'm not too old myself (in my early twenties) and I think any woman with a bit of sense would definitely like to have such a guy as a boyfriend. Someone of the opposite sex with whom you can share so much (not just engaging in idle talk about relationships and how bad guys are - the sorts of conversations you are bound have with your female friends) and who can share everything with you... that's how it should be, in my opinion
All these girls are disagreeing. He's saying that she didn't want the nice BFF guy, then was treated sh*tty by her BFF and realized she does want that BFF. The problem is he's now gone and changed to fit what girls go for. The nice guy is probably still inside him but he needs some repairs to bring it back out. lol
I think there needs to be a balance- A little bad guy (cockyness, masculinity)
but some good guy as well (politeness, good meaning)
the perfect combo
Hahaha nice. Except I doubt the girl audience here experienced this. They seem to all be the "nice" girl. But yeah I see what you're sayin and what types of girls you're talking about.
You should know that look also matter to a girl no matter what they tell you.
Looks***
Why is this nice guy wasting all of his time following around a girl who isn't into him? That sounds as bad as the girl who is chasing the guy who isn't into her?
This is so true! I've known a lot if girls with guys friends just like this. "Nice guys". Personally, I've never had one, but I've seen it time and time again. And guys, I'm sorry if this happened to you. This shouldn't happen to anybody even though it does. Nobody should have to feel the pain of utter rejection. Even though they do anyway.
I agree completely with what he said. This is a great article that all girls should read. I have had so many women do this to me that I don't give a d*** anymore and now I shut my emotions out.
This article is not true at all. I love nice guys. I crave them. The reason I don't get with all the nice guys that hang around me is because they aren't what I want. Sure they're nice, but their personality isn't what I want. Why can't you understand it's more than just being nice? Why can't a girl have a guy friend? This whole article just doesn't seem fair to me.
Thumbs up ! " what happened to you, you used to be such a sweet guy?" "well ahmm, you did honey..."
I actually told a old crush about this, and she got quite upset over it...
Yup, that's right, it's all the opposite genders fault. Got a relationship problem? It's them, always them.
Okay, I'm not trying to start an argument here, even if it sounds like I am. It's just this sorta thing happens on both ends of the spectrum, and people don't seem to realize this. I mean, I would gladly go after a nice guy, and I'm only 19, but the thing is they're all going after the sluts. Plus if the girl didn't show anything towards you, then you can't really blame her. Just dealll
Many girls will keep nice guys around because of attention and emotional support and I applaud him for the decision he chose. if things weren't working for him, he had to change tactic to attract girls by learning, watching, observing and adapting new strategy to get the results he wanted... in my opinion, men don't respect sluts, we bang them because they are easy and can get it whenever we want and everyone has a time clock meaning that they are times where we want to have fun and to get serious. The same way you read magazines to improve yourself to attract men, we do it too except reading magazines, we learnt from others and change accordingly.
I understand what you're saying. But as women grow up, they realize that the nice guy IS actually what they want. Sometimes it just takes time and maturity.
Here's the difference bro.
Theres a such thing as nice and too nice.
Be a gentleman NOT a gentle man you get me?