We see it all the time on here. Stressed out girls asking where are these unicorns of men hiding, along with the guy follow up, we haven't gone anywhere. you just dont see us. But the question is, in the year 2017, which side is right? The girl who feels that all guys are assholes, or the guy who feels that girls have no clue what the fuck they want? Sadly at this point you both are right.
To the girls
The one who thinks the good guy is dead and gone or thinks everyone is only out to get in her pants and then ditch her for the next girl willing to sleep with him. I feel like the girls who ask where have all the good guys gone needs to really be slapped upside the head. Mainly because In my honest experience most of these girls keep people who they would mesh with well in a relationship, in the friend area because, "they dont want to ruin what they have" or "genuinely aren't attracted to you." Fair enough, but don't go out of your way to try to bring down all guys if you are doing the above. There are good guys out there, YOU just dont want to date them.
This brings me into the next point. Can you really blame all guys for being asses when you willingly pick who you want to date? Like I feel that both genders do this BS but for the sake of this let's point at the girls. You have 10 guys come towards you all willing to date you, and after scouting them all you end up picking 1 guy. When that guy messes up at some point for some reason, you feel guys are asses, ok fair. But when this same thing happens 7 more times after the first time, can you really keep saying it's only our fault? At some point I do feel like the blame has to be placed on the person picking the mate. One doesn't get into a "slump" without putting some blame on themselves. Not trying to victim blame here but let's be real. You have a "type" at this point and it's letting you down HARD. That doesn't mean there are no good guys out there, it means your type isn't for you.
Two things I wish girls would stop doing here are,
- Stop saying the good guys you do meet are being fake
- Stop "leading on" these people or taking advantage
For the first point, as an ACTUAL DECENT GUY MOST OF THE TIME, you don't know how ANNOYING that is to hear. I'm not being fake, I'm being ME. Stop basing your opinions on horrible guys you have been with and saying that is me as well.
For the second point, as I will get on below with the guys, I know that some guys do this to themselves, but some really can't help it. If you see it happening, stop allowing it to go on. Instead, stop it and say enough. Because best believe, if you let it continue and you don't end up dating him, he's going to see you as a bitch and let's be real, a lot of girls do this.
To the guys
Now to talk to my Guys. First off, no matter what anyone says, if you are a good guy don't change. Someone will appreciate you for you and make other girls envious that they ended up with a guy like you. It's just going to take some time, but I'm going to get on the problems I notice most that the good guys have.
MOST OF US ARE TOO FUCKING NICE. Most of you give the girl the freaking world WHILE being just a FRIEND. Then you get mad when she doesn't want to date you and what not. First off, never give anyone the keys to a lambo without a license to drive it. Or in better terms, don't give a girl everything without a title first. Yes you can be nice , yes you can treat her well, but most of you go overboard thinking this is what is going to get you something. Nah its not, only heartache and debt. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
The follow up thing to this is something girls love saying which is completely true; "being nice to me isn't a pass to get into my pants." You aren't entitled to anything if you act like the above. So stop the whole man child act. As I said above, you are good because that how you were raised, not because you want to get a GF/Laid. With that mindset you only prove her right that nice/good guys only want 1 thing.
Now this would be a perfect time to add in that if you want a relationship, and you see that is not where you are going with her, NOW IS THE TIME TO WALK AWAY. Rather than stay in something you don't want, just walk away. Many of you guys stay and torture yourself. You really dont have to be her friend, but just be warned that now you may look like a fuck boy. But its your call. Just know if you stay in this, whatever happens is on you.
As much as people want to say this isn't true, lets be real. LOOKS MATTER. You might be a good guy but you still need to be somewhat attractive if you want to get the girl. SHE NEEDS TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. And I'm sorry but niceness isn't going to wow her like that.
Plus let me not forget, WE DO THE SAME THING TO GIRLS. There can be that big girl with the heart of gold, but best believe, 2 out of 5 times (I'm being nice) you would bypass her and try to get the bombshell just for the chase and avoid that other girl who in hindsight, would be a better use of time and a relationship. You only get mad when it happens to you, but never when you do it to others.
My last point I'm going to bring up on us guys, is that SOME OF YOU aren't FORWARD WITH WHAT YOU WANT. She can't read your mind, she doesn't know what you want. You have to at least open your mouth and tell her how you feel and etc.
I'm going to wrap this up with the TL/DR VERSION:
- Girls, stop saying there are no good guys left. They are in your circle of friends who you refuse to date. Fix your dating peferences if all you seem to run into are asses. Don't take advantage of niceness.
- Guys, keep being nice but have a backbone. Don't get used. Girls aren't obligated to date you just because you treat them with respect. Looks matter with them just like they do to you. Also speak up and stop being nuns.