Thanks for sharing starlight. You're living proof that sometimes insecurities can hold a girl back, but are capable of being overcome. Not every shy person is going to become a natural extrovert, but as long as they feel more comfortable just getting out of their inner shell or comfort zone enough, they'll start to see results, and you are one of them. Thank you!
That does not have to be the case. Most guys dislike the initial approach too, and if any girl approaches them (be they shy or otherwise), that helps ease the load off the man. If she is friendly (good body language, smiling, touching, trying to talk at least a little bit) the guy will notice and if he's interested, respond back.
Yayyyyyyyy I love this! As a (perhaps once) shy girl (okay, maybe I'm still a bit shy), this was pretty spot on. At least in my case. Your reasons for why some girls are shy do and have applied to me on more than one occasion. And I didn't really think of them as the reasons why I was like this.
Also, your cons of dating shy girls. Well...I have to admit to being jealous and controlling at times.
Annnnnddd your pros! Well, hey I can't complain, they're the pros of dating people like me! =DD
I thank you very very very much about this article it came in the right time.. i am recently in a turmoil with a girl that I like a lot she is shy she has trust issues. She planned the 4th date face to face she was happy she was excited... all of the sudden she backs at night she backs off ! she is overwhelmed... and she told me she wants to be "Strictly friends" which I did not take seriously... because she said it is not against you.. but the fact she is overwhelmed
As a guy, it is better to assume, always. You'll be wrong some of the time, but if you don't assume, you're limiting your chances. Also, when you mentally assume a girl wants you, it puts you in a more confident state of mind and helps your interaction, even on a subconscious level.
Great article, I hope that it makes men see shy women as just that, shy, and not stuck up.
Now I am shy but I do mean to look hard because of where I live :/ unfortunantly these men here aren't looking for anything except for someone to live off of. Any tips for that? Lol
Thanks for the kind words. It is possible to change your outcome. Pay special attention to the points in the article which address behavior you CAN CONTROL, not that which you can't. You may not be asking out people overnight, but given enough time, you can inspire confidence in other men to ask you out. Re-read as needed frequently, and work on those traits that may make people think of you as standoffish.
Wow. I'm speechless. That was an amazing article, it explained me so precisely it's not even funny. I am a shy girl so I would know, and everything you said was correct. That we're deep thinkers, that we want men to lead us, that we're pretty talkative, everything. I really wish more men knew this, it would make it so much easier for me. But, it's not, and I have to go back to being misunderstood by everyone.I often wish I wasn't so shy though, my parents bug me how I need to be more social.
Body language is the best giveaway. A girl who turns her nose and/or chin up when being talked to by a guy is more stuck up. A girl that puts her nose/chin down or to the side, is more likely to be introverted. Also, how much of the conversation is about him, not just her, is a good measure of if she's interested in more than just what surrounds her and her world.
Thanks for the compliment. Just remember, you have some control over your situation too. That's why it is important that you take the pointers above to heart and apply them. You'll see better results that way.
"If you wish to discover a gem, you have to dig' THAT IS SO TRUE. I don't think I have come across a man who knows concrete information about shy girls...im a shy girl and you were on point and I will take your advice and break out of my shell and approach him next time...thankyou :)
You're 16 years old, so finding a guy your age who will pursue you and chase you down is most hard. The boys your age are just learning the flirting and dating game as well, so don't get overwhelmed. These things take time.
Using the advice I gave above, don't be afraid to initiate conversations. A lot of high school guys won't approach, but you can at least be welcoming and let them help with the job. Given enough time and practice, you'll see success. Good luck to you!
You really hit the nail on the head with this article! I can totally relate to this, and I do feel that I am misunderstood and overshadowed by more extroverted girls. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I am actually pretty outgoing once you get to know me, but being shy prevents me from getting myself out there and itiating anything with a guy. Thanks for the advice!
@Shyscot: Look for a smile, no matter how subtle. If you are occasionally getting a smile, even when the topic is light-hearted, she might not be interested. Once again, pay attention to body language and see if she makes any effort to talk to you or continue conversations.
Love love love this article! Same as one of the other commenters, I am very talkative to my friends and I'm usually just a bit shy in meeting new people, but I get anxious and scared in meeting attractive guys. I definitely think this article should be read by everyone. Very informative and helps immensely. Thanks a lot and you've definitely changed my thinking. Will keep in mind the things you've mentioned.
It is normal to have a bit of anxiety around people that we find attractive. The key is to not think you have to talk non-stop to make things happen. A bit of silence is fine. Making sure your body language is open and friendly, plus smiling a lot can help put the guy at ease to continue the conversation.
Great article! I'm typically really shy around guys that I don't know. But the people who know me well, like my best friend have told me before that I'm really talkative. I guess I'm not really shy in general, just when it comes to talking to guys that I don't know or even just guys that I know but like.
There will always be more guys available. You're only 16 years old. It is better that you learn it at your current age than to wait years and make the same mistakes over and over again. Who's to say you couldn't learn from it and give the boy another try?
@Moloch That's why you have to take the risk and approach the girl, because if she is shy, like I am, then she might come off as not liking you or ignoring you. I have a huge problem of making my crushes think I don't like them. The best way to talk to a shy girl is over fb, get to know her, and then make her feel comfortable around you in person. & signs that shy girls like you: her friends talk to you, she stares at you a lot, is always around you, tries to look like she doesn't like you, etc.
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Thanks for sharing starlight. You're living proof that sometimes insecurities can hold a girl back, but are capable of being overcome. Not every shy person is going to become a natural extrovert, but as long as they feel more comfortable just getting out of their inner shell or comfort zone enough, they'll start to see results, and you are one of them. Thank you!
Doctorwhofan,
Thanks for your comments as well.
@ Butterfly and Quiet: Thank you.
@ PoeticNinja:
That does not have to be the case. Most guys dislike the initial approach too, and if any girl approaches them (be they shy or otherwise), that helps ease the load off the man. If she is friendly (good body language, smiling, touching, trying to talk at least a little bit) the guy will notice and if he's interested, respond back.
Yayyyyyyyy I love this! As a (perhaps once) shy girl (okay, maybe I'm still a bit shy), this was pretty spot on. At least in my case. Your reasons for why some girls are shy do and have applied to me on more than one occasion. And I didn't really think of them as the reasons why I was like this.
Also, your cons of dating shy girls. Well...I have to admit to being jealous and controlling at times.
Annnnnddd your pros! Well, hey I can't complain, they're the pros of dating people like me! =DD
I thank you very very very much about this article it came in the right time.. i am recently in a turmoil with a girl that I like a lot she is shy she has trust issues. She planned the 4th date face to face she was happy she was excited... all of the sudden she backs at night she backs off ! she is overwhelmed... and she told me she wants to be "Strictly friends" which I did not take seriously... because she said it is not against you.. but the fact she is overwhelmed
Being shy and being introverted are two entirely unrelated things.
You can be a shy extrovert.
You can be a talkative and outgoing introvert(you're just going to tire yourself out quickly).
Seriously, stop claiming that shy=introvert or vice versa.
As a guy, it is better to assume, always. You'll be wrong some of the time, but if you don't assume, you're limiting your chances. Also, when you mentally assume a girl wants you, it puts you in a more confident state of mind and helps your interaction, even on a subconscious level.
Great article, I hope that it makes men see shy women as just that, shy, and not stuck up.
Now I am shy but I do mean to look hard because of where I live :/ unfortunantly these men here aren't looking for anything except for someone to live off of. Any tips for that? Lol
Thanks for the kind words. It is possible to change your outcome. Pay special attention to the points in the article which address behavior you CAN CONTROL, not that which you can't. You may not be asking out people overnight, but given enough time, you can inspire confidence in other men to ask you out. Re-read as needed frequently, and work on those traits that may make people think of you as standoffish.
Wow. I'm speechless. That was an amazing article, it explained me so precisely it's not even funny. I am a shy girl so I would know, and everything you said was correct. That we're deep thinkers, that we want men to lead us, that we're pretty talkative, everything. I really wish more men knew this, it would make it so much easier for me. But, it's not, and I have to go back to being misunderstood by everyone.I often wish I wasn't so shy though, my parents bug me how I need to be more social.
Body language is the best giveaway. A girl who turns her nose and/or chin up when being talked to by a guy is more stuck up. A girl that puts her nose/chin down or to the side, is more likely to be introverted. Also, how much of the conversation is about him, not just her, is a good measure of if she's interested in more than just what surrounds her and her world.
AmiLouise,
Thanks for the compliment. Just remember, you have some control over your situation too. That's why it is important that you take the pointers above to heart and apply them. You'll see better results that way.
Mythoughts,
Good luck to you!
"If you wish to discover a gem, you have to dig' THAT IS SO TRUE. I don't think I have come across a man who knows concrete information about shy girls...im a shy girl and you were on point and I will take your advice and break out of my shell and approach him next time...thankyou :)
Skittlez,
You're 16 years old, so finding a guy your age who will pursue you and chase you down is most hard. The boys your age are just learning the flirting and dating game as well, so don't get overwhelmed. These things take time.
Using the advice I gave above, don't be afraid to initiate conversations. A lot of high school guys won't approach, but you can at least be welcoming and let them help with the job. Given enough time and practice, you'll see success. Good luck to you!
You really hit the nail on the head with this article! I can totally relate to this, and I do feel that I am misunderstood and overshadowed by more extroverted girls. I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I am actually pretty outgoing once you get to know me, but being shy prevents me from getting myself out there and itiating anything with a guy. Thanks for the advice!
@Shyscot: Look for a smile, no matter how subtle. If you are occasionally getting a smile, even when the topic is light-hearted, she might not be interested. Once again, pay attention to body language and see if she makes any effort to talk to you or continue conversations.
Love love love this article! Same as one of the other commenters, I am very talkative to my friends and I'm usually just a bit shy in meeting new people, but I get anxious and scared in meeting attractive guys. I definitely think this article should be read by everyone. Very informative and helps immensely. Thanks a lot and you've definitely changed my thinking. Will keep in mind the things you've mentioned.
It is normal to have a bit of anxiety around people that we find attractive. The key is to not think you have to talk non-stop to make things happen. A bit of silence is fine. Making sure your body language is open and friendly, plus smiling a lot can help put the guy at ease to continue the conversation.
Great article! I'm typically really shy around guys that I don't know. But the people who know me well, like my best friend have told me before that I'm really talkative. I guess I'm not really shy in general, just when it comes to talking to guys that I don't know or even just guys that I know but like.
There will always be more guys available. You're only 16 years old. It is better that you learn it at your current age than to wait years and make the same mistakes over and over again. Who's to say you couldn't learn from it and give the boy another try?
@Moloch That's why you have to take the risk and approach the girl, because if she is shy, like I am, then she might come off as not liking you or ignoring you. I have a huge problem of making my crushes think I don't like them. The best way to talk to a shy girl is over fb, get to know her, and then make her feel comfortable around you in person. & signs that shy girls like you: her friends talk to you, she stares at you a lot, is always around you, tries to look like she doesn't like you, etc.