Hey GaG community! A few months ago I posted a take while I was very angry. I was anonymous because I knew I was going to get hate for it. Looking back at it now and from all the things that have happened last year, I realized exactly what I was doing.
I was generalizing everyone and pointing a finger at everyone else but me. So today I’ve come to talk to anyone who is bitter or angry. I just want to share my experience and hope you can relate.
I also have a few steps in the headers for you to ask yourself.
What happened to you?
So like many of you who have hated school, I was left out in elementary school. My “best friend” got a new best friend who hated me and constantly left me out of social situations. Many people called me embarrassing and I always tried to be kind to everyone because I was so happy at the chance of getting to other to like me, only to be cut off abruptly from everyone.
So as a result, I used to hate people. I pointed a finger at my ex-best friend and her best friend. I grew bitter at every comment every oblivious kid said behind my back and only focused on my pain. I thought there was this hierarchy and I wasn’t in it because people are shit. I thought the only way to be a part of the group was to follow whatever the group said so that everyone would like me. As a kid I was known as sensitive and too emotional. But I'm not here to complain, in that story I left out many important details.
What did you do?
In every situation, I like to believe things are the way they are because of both people (aside from things such as rape or murder). I feel that most of us can agree with that, even though we may fail and point a finger at someone.
See what I left out was that:
- i was sensitive because i was always wondering why people hated me
- Never listened to people
- Complained all the time about popular kids
- Was mean to other people and agreed with whatever a popular person said. This made me not really have an identity
- Was a very paranoid girl because I thought everyone was going to betray me
- I invested too much time into people without getting to know them
And reading these things again, do you think you would have been this person’s friend if you were another person?
I wouldn’t have.
So what happens now?
So what happens now, is that you have a choice. Do you want to change those things? Or do you want to keep going and never know what’s wrong with you?
I’ve decided to change, I’m not bitter at those girls any more, we all didn’t know better. Now, I’ve gained my own identity instead of just responding out of pain to everything. I’m working on learning how to trust people, learning who my friends are, and listening. – and I’m grateful I made this decision
Disclaimer: i'm not any better than you guys, I won't judge you if you decide not to change, im still learning myself, i'm just hoping to help those of you who do feel lost who have ever asked yourselves “why does everyone hate me”
Good luck guys! -tonga✌