Why did she hug me? Does she want a relationship?

[Anonymous]

So there's a girl I've been crazy over for months now. We work together. Talk all the time. We have been spending more time together lately. We had a couple drinks after work last week and she told me some very personal things. We walked to my house and continued to talk. We talked for a good 2 hours or more, or more I listened.
So the next day we work together I ask her if she wants to eat lunch together. We go to subway (fancy, right? :P). She tells me that our talk really helped her feel better, lifted a lot of stress off of her shoulders, and just helped her see things a little differently. She told me thanks over and over.
After all this, before leaving subway, we hug eachother. We each had one arm over eachothers shoulder and one under (crossed hug). It felt great for me, not just a hug but holding eachother.

So what does this all mean? I know she trust me, otherwise she wouldn't tell me the things she did. Does she want more than just our friendship?

[Anonymous]

She clearly trusts you and feels comfortable with you. You could step it up a little by looking in her eyes and see if she holds eye contact with you, couple that with a lingering touch on the arm, or other subtle touch and see how she reacts. If she touches you back in a similar way or smiles quietly she probably does like you. The hug alone is not easy to tell but it is a really good start. Also if you can find out if she tends to hug her friends a lot it doesn't mean as much as a woman who doesn't hug her friends much but has hugged you. I know that if I like a guy I will tend to find an excuse to hug him and I've used it before to hope that he takes it as a bit of a hint. I guess it is not all that clear of a hint, but it's a start.

[RelationshipMaster]

She either has had quite a traumatizing experience and just wants to get it all out, or really likes you and wants you to be her boyfriend. One thing, is that it's normal to hug another guy without meaning anything. I hug my friends from school all the time that are boys to say hello or goodbye (well old school because I go to a private all girls school now.) i think that if you really like her, ask her out on a date.

[Asker]

She has been through a lot in her life. She told me I'm one a a few people she has ever told the things she did. Neither of us have many friends, but do both have friends of the opposite sex and have told eachother that we like what we have together (whatever that may be..).

[RelationshipMaster]

Interesting. I think you should value her trust. It is very rare for a girl to ever tell a guy how they feel. Just make sure you make her feel like she can always trust you and not regret what she told you.

[Fajurahly]

A woman can fall in love with any man. When she's in love, she's a keeper. When there's physical touch, it means something. She feels comfortable being around you. But take things slowly. She might treat you as a close friend but that depends on individual. For now, don't over think. It will hurt you.

How about giving her a hint. You'll never know if she might just got hinched! Then a score for you.

[Prilee1992]

So you both talked for 2 hours and you were just listening like a nice guy? Come on dude, hugging and kissing on the cheek are signs of friendzone bro, man up! Convey your sexual interest on her- be flirty, charming like a James fuckin Bond!

[Asker]

I have always been a believer in being friends before lovers.

[Prilee1992]

That's up to you if you wanna make things go slowly. This is the case where most of the guys out there think that, oh! I can be her therapist/emotional tampon, so she's going to like me if I solve every of her problems once she threw every shits on my face, im gonna listen all fuckin day...listen listen listen. without knowing she's gonna put u into FZ, because what women need are someone who can spike high n low attraction on them, unpredictability is the key!

[Asker]

"Spike high n low attraction"?
So you think I should keep her guessing as to my attraction to her, or that I should try to make her level of attraction going up and down? Either way I disagree.

I don't want to jump into anything and I know she feels the same. We have our reasons.

[Prilee1992]

Yeah, you already forgot why girls spent much money on romance/movies/novels. Reason? They want mysteries, they want an unpredictable guy making moves on them. In fact You took away the mystery by always inviting her out, be available listening to all her problems, asking yourself how many times she actually initiates contact w you to really shows that she's interested in u? I think u should back off and sees what's her reaction.

[Asker]

Once again, I disagree. Maybe some girls want unpredictability. But she is not like that and neither am I. I want a woman I can depend on. Surprises are nice, but so is consistency.

[Prilee1992]

Everyone is different, it's up to you, that's my personal experience.
Good luck

[Anonymous]

Excluding the hug in question, has she displayed in other signs that normally would be considered flirting that you are aware of?

Has there been any dialogue involving your dating status, your interests and vice versa?

[Asker]

Dating status? Well we are both single and know it. We have discussed past relationships and why they didn't work. As far as the status of our relationship, no.

Interests? We talk about everything. We are both very down to earth people. We believe in the effects of people energies/spirits. We enjoy nature. Are both very family oriented.

I think we have had some pretty flirty times. We will see eachother from a distance and try to catch the others attention. Always make eachother laugh and smile. Encourage eachother.

[Opinion Owner]

Ideally, people tend to avoid divulging their personal issues to someone whom they have interest in dating, etc., as to avoid turning them away and to avoid appearing needy. On the other hand, however, it's said that, in some cases, women have developed strong attractions for their male friends who supported them emotionally and otherwise through difficult times.
That being said, it could go either way. Maybe her preference is to become more, maybe it's not. It's on you to find out.
My advice, as not jeopardize the existing friendship, invite her to hangout outside of work to engage in common interests/activities etc., such as the weekend, for example.
Also, break the touch barrier here and there and observe her response/body language to get a better sense of her interest, and to induce sexual tension. Ask multiple open ended questions regarding her specific likes in men and such.
In brief, put yourself out there.