Do you think promiscuous women are more likely to have low self esteem and less stable relationships (particularly concerning marriage not just a BF)?

Question

*Just curious
Here are two links that have caused me to ponder this ques.:
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bobair · Accepted Answer

Fun topic!

I've met three types of women who were "promiscuous":

1) Single women who were either secure or insecure who were seeking attention, approval, love or affection.

This isn't unique to women: this describes all the guys I knew in high school.

These women give their sex/bodies/approval in order to feel "safe" or "loved." They will often feel that their best commodity in a relationship is their appearance because they don't think very highly of themselves. And they also need outside support and approval in order to define themselves.

They aren't bad people and it's a shame society hates on them so heavily.

These are just girls needing a daddy, needing love or affection.

2) Secure women who are married/dating who cheat in order to enjoy sex with other men.

These are women who don't want or need other peoples approval or affection... they just like getting laid and don't worry about such judgements. Although these same women are smart enough to keep their sex lives private, especially from anyone they're currently dating.

You likely wouldn't know they're promiscuous unless you were already sleeping with them because they're discrete.

3) Secure women who are confident and simply enjoy dating and having sex with men.

These are just women who don't fear the social judgements, much in the same way that men don't fear the social judgements of multiple partners.

These women are the MOST fun to have sex with because they're not trying to get anything from you, nor are they trying to trade anything. They are willing to partner up in an open and honest way, and that's sexy.

There's likely multiple versions of these three, but these are the three types I've met.

:D

~ Robby

Bandit74 · Accepted Answer

I think they are more likely to be emotionally disconnected. Also they are more likely to attract promiscuous men. When two promiscuous people are in a relationship together, the odds of it failing are probably greater.

candlewax · Accepted Answer

Depends on the girl. As someone else mentioned, there was an article written about how women in porn/who embrace their sexuality tend to have higher self esteem? Why? They don't give a shit about societal constructs that heavily favor men and THEIR sexuality. There are definitely women who can go out and have sex like a guy would and she's perfectly okay in the self esteem department. She just likes sex.

But there ARE women out there, who are so damaged from the aforementioned constructs, that their self esteem is in shambles and they try to boost it by sleeping around. The attention from those guys makes them feel better and somehow makes them feel as if they have value. Chances are it's the opposite because they're seeking the wrong type of attention from guys.

Nothing is wrong with going out and getting some. You just have to be doing it for the right reasons. If it's just about getting laid, fine. But to seek out male attention to the point where she's giving out her body for that attention, it screams self esteem issues.

Honestly, I think the ones who are truly secure about the entire situation will be the ones who really don't talk about it. Insecure people flaunt that shit- aka the chicks who sleep around for all the wrong reasons. They have to prove that they're oh so desired to anyone who will listen because they're THAT insecure.

onemoreplease · Accepted Answer

After reading the articles, and all of the opinions posted before mine, I am even more certain in saying: It may be a very complex situation where women are sexually promiscuous. Yes, sometimes, it may just be because of low self-esteem and need for validation and all the common reasons why women have casual sex. But just as common is the woman who literally enjoys meeting people and being intimate in the moment, or the woman who really is on the 'marriage path' but believes that sexual intimacy can be a powerful indicator of the person she will really connect with (so she has sex early in a relationship, to test the waters.)
Ultimately, I think both articles are too narrow and flawed to be accurate. They certainly reflect old-school opinions about women, in that the 'good friend' who hooks up with a lot of guys will probably steal your boyfriend if she gets the chance... and I think that sucks, and it isn't necessarily true.
Guys don't feel that way about their slutty bro-friends, and I (personally) feel that men have kind of blazed the trail in this way. Men behave one way, and eventually women start to ask "why not us, too?" I mean, if guys are so bothered by women being promiscuous, maybe you guys should stop doing it yourselves.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of it is about attitude. Some girls can have tons of sex and no one will know. I think this is only about those girls who are showy about how many guys they sleep with or sometimes it's not even sex but flirting. I know a girl and I don't think she has sex with everyone but she flirts with everyone. The problem is really not sex it's girls who seek validation from a variety of men. Because these girls place their ego over anything else they will inevitably hurt their friends to get the male attention they crave

thetundrawolf · Answer

So many people on here don't like it when I essentially confirm everything in the second article, nearly.

From the second article, at the end:

1. She'll appreciate herself a lot more, and in turn the man will gain more respect for her and realize that he has a valuable treasure.

2. The man who had to work hard and commit in order to bed a woman will appreciate her more. After all, time was invested in her.

3. The sex will be brought to a whole new passionate level when she finally makes love to the man who fought for her — by being patient.

I tell young women their bodies ARE sacred. Their virginity is precious, and not something to throw away. Young women aren't taught any more that they are worth more than all the money in the wold, if they are chaste, and love the right guy.

I tell women to wait... Sex will destroy their relationship. If a guy isn't willing to wait, they were only interested in her body, and good riddance. Sex even a moment before the honeymoon wipes out the relationship. If the honeymoon means nothing, neither will the marriage. Sexual compatibility is a lie. Love comes first and paves the way for a good sex life... Because you love one another. That is what true love really is.

Respect must be earned, and that goes for women, too.

People don't have the discipline or self control to wait. Every good and worthwhile thing takes effort and sacrifice. Life is hard, taking shortcuts makes it harder.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I don't think promiscuity and low self-esteem go hand in hand. I see 2 things with this topic:

1) Does it not strike you as insecure about the OTHER girls that prefer to stay away from promiscuous women? Society right now is stuck between the old and the new, and people don't know what the fuck to do or think about it. You see, most people are sheep about most things and that's not hard to see. And that leads to the second point:

2) Most people don't stop and think about issues, beliefs, or values for themselves. There's a reason that society in general holds standards and that's because people stick to the group's opinion rather than their own. This is because they just don't give rational thought to topics, as well as not wanting to stick out from the group. Fads, fashion, popularly held assumptions/myths/opinions... all these things have group influence to them. Sexuality is no different.

People slut shame or just can't handle females having casual sex because... they never have. People don't know how to handle women being able to have casual sex just as men. Women not wanting to be friends with other women who are promiscuous shows that the group can't make up it's mind about this yet or is putting up resistance moving from traditional values, and would rather just avoid the outsiders. I'd say it takes a fair bit of self-security to ignore what the groups thinks you should be doing and to be "unlady-like", wouldn't you? Especially with all the scrutiny and slut shaming women can get nowadays. People, at the most, get mildly irritated when guys enjoy themselves like this. But women? It's like the devil has been reincarnated on Earth.

And with it practically being human nature to worry about other people's business, that theme continues with the topic of sexuality as well. You can't miss the signs of these patterns, except if you wanted to. People just like to form opinions of other people's personal lives, and form opinions about that person.

theville · Answer

yes someone that feels GOOD about themselves would NOT disrespect their bodies or themselves sleeping around AND prosittutes and strippers the same and they have a REAL depression and self esteem issue JUST from the "work" they do its a documented fact!! Plus how COULD a female feel good about herself being a tramp, hooker, OR stripper.. CHEESY... and THEN never easy to hold ur head HIGH!!! There is a girl from where i grew up that became a stripper and when she DOES come back around which is rare everyone IS talking about her behind her back she is VEYR uncomfortable because of her way of earning$$ meanwhile her sister has a phd..

Selena777 · Answer

I loose my respect for promiscuous women instantly. Guys are just dumb it is little different no matter what who says. I know my man has had many girls and now got it out of his system, therefore really loves me and is faithful. I never even felt like i need to try every guy in the bed but maybe its just me.

dragonfly6516 · Answer

Yes. It's very common for girls who think they need constant attention to resort to sexual relationships to get it, but it's not always the case. Some women just enjoy sex.

H2OMan · Answer

Not at all. I have slept about my fare share and I am confident about myself and my body. While my number is less than my age, thankfully, I don't think It matters in the long run. It matters if your religion damned sexual interactions, if you are abstenate and want the same of your partner then yeah that kind of matters. But outside of that why do you or I care? In my eyes, someone with a high number, yeah I'm going to ask them if they are cleen but I'll take it as they know what they are doing, and I'm in for a good time. I'm head over heals with two people, a girl who is every bit as promiscuous as I am and a guy who makes me look like I've never had sex before. Not because they were great in bed, had a low/high number, but because they have traits I find attractive. Neither hold their judgments against you, they are both outgoing, adventurous, dedicated, and wise. Again to each his own. Hope it helped!

Anonymous · Answer

Healthy women don't need sex outside of emotional attachment and stimulation. Promiscuity in women is always a testament to a deeper seeded issue. If it's not that, then it's plain peer pressure, but then again most healthy women wouldn't give into that either.

AnonAndrew · Answer

No, the opposite.

The way women's sexuality is (mis) treated in today's society, promiscuity is actually the most healthy way to be for a woman. That is why women who are promiscuous are usually happier, more socially well-adjusted, and have better mental health than women who are not promiscuous.

Promiscuous women who get into relationships tend to experience happier and more stable relationships than other women, AND their men tend to be happier as well. Promiscuous women make the best girlfriends and wives.

TheDevilInside · Answer

Most likely to have low self-esteem? no. Because as long as there are men who find her hot and want to fuck her, she will feel more confident than women who feel like no man finds her attractive.

Less stable relationships? Maybe yes. Less sexual constraint = bigger chance to cheat.

Anything else?

I did read your links. That promiscuous women will feel isolated? Well, that's when they turn to their lovers to feel accepted, and the cycle goes on, isn't it? Doesn't really have anything to do with low self-esteem...

Anonymous · Answer

I don't understand the issue: NO men will ever know with how many guys I have slept with, I don't kiss and tell. I don't understand this "men don't like promiscious girls" stuff. Are they seriously asking that? And if, do they actually expect an honest answer? I don't care about his past and I think he shouldn't care about mine.
2nd. I think a lot of girls (like in the Cornell study) are secretly jealous about those girls living their free life and getting the attention from men.
I have been very promiscious in my early twens, now I am in a devoted relationship for 8 years... so much to bad relationship signs.
someone said it: stable relationships have something to do with stable self-esteem, low self-esteem might bring you to crave attention from other people and therefore ruin the relationship. I have been there...

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. I read an article that said female  p*rn  stars have higher self esteem than other women, but that might just be subject to them, & not to sex. I think women became very sexual because they were trying to be what men want, but now more & more men are complaining about women being promiscuous, so we may see a decrease in that. I think all people deal with low self esteem at one point in time or another, regardless of if they've had sex or not.

Wondorous · Answer

Yes, promiscuity is usually the source of some emotional problem. Many females try to act like they just want to be sexually liberated but that's usually BS and if you get to know them, there's a typically unpleasant event that occurred where they would have never been promiscuous had it not happened.

kambo_trick3y · Answer

I've yet to talk to one who wasn't fairly fucked up in the head, but that's just me. I'm open to talking to meeting one who breaks the mold.

Prof_Don · Answer

I absolutely believe this (the higher probability, not the absolute rule).

Many guys believe this too.

That's precisely why promiscuous girls, to the majority of guys, have little to no "girlfriend material" or relationship value.

Azara · Answer

no. and I'm not reading the links from 'cosmo' bc this is just propaganda to control women's reproductive system.

sex is natural band fun and if you're safe about it you should gave as much as you want. people ho feel good about themselves and their sexuality are healthy.

Tractorbeam · Answer

I've met some very confident women who've banged a lot of men. I think they'd mostly have more confidence and self esteem than more conservative women.
Stability in marriage and risk of divorce has more to do with a woman's age and education level at the time of the wedding. Young brides with only high school education are a bigger risk.

allnite69withme · Answer

It is more complicated than that. Self esteem has to do with your own acceptance of yourself. If you feel bad sleeping around, then don't. IF you feel it cheapens you then the answer to your problem is yes. Some women can handle it. I am not saying that is good or bad, just different, since you did not ask for any moral qualifications.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure about the less stable relationship parts but from my understanding of what affects our self esteem I don't think that promiscuity is linked to it at all. I know quite a few people with low self esteem and low sexual contact as well as people with high self esteem and high sexual contact. I think promiscuity is most likely linked more to self-centeredness more than self-esteem.

dudeman · Answer

Well after a women had just five sexual partners the chances of her marriage lasting more then five years is below thirty percent. It's not hard to realize that something is off about promiscuous women

Anonymous · Answer

Simply sounds like one of those double standard type of questions. As for flirting some girls, especially those considered pretty will get interpreted as flirting every time they talk to a guy especially to men who don't receive a lot of attention. At work I have to talk to every person who comes in and there are some guys that blush when I do, and it's sweet so I smile about it. It doesn't mean I have some sort of issues needing therapy it's a human enjoying interacting with another human. As for women who sleep around, that's their business why worry about them.

Bob5555 · Answer

I wouldn't say low self esteem necessarily. I think you'd find about an even amount of low esteemed women regardless of their promiscuity. I do however, think there is a connection to less stable relationships which would make sense.

Anonymous · Answer

Winning! LOL...

I've known my share of promiscuous women in my life and every last one of them had lower than average self esteem. Promiscuity is just not natural behavior for most women. There are some who are comfortable with it but for the vast majority it becomes a vicious cycle of seeking attention and affirmation through promiscuous sex, which only makes them feel worse about themselves, so they seek affirmation through promiscuous sex, and the cycle continues.

Anonymous · Answer

People aren't stagnant. A person who is promiscuous in her or his teens may get everything figured out later and be fully satisfied. Or a person who was conservative in his or her teens may feel their decisions were in vain and go wild one day. People are constantly changing.

shaniah28 · Answer

I think that when a girl is sexually acting out it means that she is hurting. I went through a long period of times when I would only have a relationship with a guy if he would have sex with me. I know now that I was hurting from all of the sexual abuse I went through when I was a little girl. I think that if you find a girl like that you should treat her like a gentleman, that's exactly what she needs. that girl is obliviously calling out for help...

tzdc21 · Answer

Yes they do and studies back this up. The higher a woman's body count, the more likely she is not gonna stay in a committed relationship.

CellLuddite · Answer

Yes I do. The evidence supports this doesn't it? What are you getting at?

jointhepatriarchy · Answer

Yeah, definitely. They're also more likely to have STD's and a lot of other problems.

Anonymous · Answer

I think promiscuous women tend to have too much self esteem and feel entitled to be loved no matter what they do.

pooper89 · Answer

I think there's a correlation yeah

bumblebritches5 · Answer

No, because that would be insane...

Anonymous · Answer

How many people have you been with yourself?

Do you think promiscuous women are more likely to have low self esteem and less stable relationships (particularly concerning marriage not just a BF)?

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