Is it normal to be possessive over a FWB?

[Trascendingjoy]

I don't love him but the thought of him even looking at other girls makes me sick. I want to be the only girl he wants. I want to feel like I'm so beautiful/good in bed/fun to be around that even though he's not with me, he can't seem to find anyone that compares. I don't want to be with him, I have a boyfriend already, but I spent 2 hours crying because he called my friend cute.

Is this normal? Or do I love him and don't realize it?

[LonelyBird5]

Let's not ignore the fact that you have a friends with benefits WHILE having a boyfriend.
Anyways You being possessive in the way as you have feelings beyond sex. It's one thing to be like "Oh I'm having with you. I don't care about whoever you talk to. Just don't have sex with any other girl and bring anything back to me."
If you have a boyfriend already why are you having sex with someone else? The same way you feel about what your friends with benefits is the same way your boyfriend probably feels about you. The point of a friends with benefits is to be that until you find someone that satisfies you and you no longer need that friends with benefits

[juniorsrosie]

Why are you cheating on your boyfriend?

They always say pick the second guy you fell for. If you really loved the first, you wouldn't go for the second.

I don't know how true it is but thought it might help

[juniorsrosie]

It's slightly hypocritical of you to get jealous of other girls being with your friends with benefits when you have a boyfriend... but it's natural. You have some sort of attatchment to him. I wouldn't say it's love

[Trascendingjoy]

That's very good advice. But I'm so scared of breaking up with my boyfriend for him because there's such a high chance he won't want a relationship with me.

[juniorsrosie]

Honestly, I would break up with your boyfriend.

It's not fair to string him along just as a backup plan.. I think you know that.

Even if this guy rejects you, you'll meet someone else who will have a great personality, commit, AND be good at sex. Especially as you get older.

Imagine eventually marrying your boyfriend. I saw a comment where you said your boyfriend isn't as good as your friends with benefits at sex. Do you really want to settle with him for the rest of your life?

There will always be more guys. Also at least when you're single you can fuck your friends with benefits without feeling guilty, as I assume you might feel...

[juniorsrosie]

But for the rest of your life you'll compare your boyfriend sexually to your friends with benefits, and potentially be unsatisfied. I would at least try to find someone more sexually compatible who's willing to commit.

[Trascendingjoy]

I realized that, with my friends with benefits, I specifically told him what I like and dislike. I think I'll do that with my boyfriend!

[juniorsrosie]

That's definitely a good thing to try! Communication is key.

Are you going to continue seeing your fwb?

[Trascendingjoy]

Yes. He really is a friend of mine so I'll still see him as friends.

[juniorsrosie]

As long as there isn't sexual stuff going on, I don't see a problem.
If it happens again though I would tell your boyfriend... it's not really fair that he doesn't know at all

[juniorsrosie]

It's not fair that you're cheating on him in the first place. I hate to tell you, but that's not love.
Needing a mans touch is normal. But for love you'd put his feelings over your wants.

[Wonderer89]

No, it's completely not normal that you're cheating on your boyfriend but having a problem with the guy you're screwing on the side not being loyal to you.

[rubyrose83]

I think it's more common than people let on. We're territorial when we find a boy we like

[Trascendingjoy]

Ok. :)

[most23]

So you have a boyfriend and a FWB?
If it was just a friends with benefits question i would say: Its perfectly normal to have those feeling. Sex connects people together. Nature designed it that way (especially for women). It takes time to learn to be ok being a friends with benefits. Maybe its a skill you will decided you dont want to be good at.

Jealousy one must realize is a waste of energy.

[Trascendingjoy]

Thank you. I guess it's just nature huh? I just read everywhere about FWBs who don't give a crap what and who each other does and I can't imagine that. I guess these people are just very skilled.

[matheus_mb]

No, it's not normal. A friends with benefits relationship shouldn't bring these kind of feelings, you're clearly jealous, even if you deny it.

[Trascendingjoy]

Thanks. I guess I just have to accept it. But it's been the same with my other FWBs too, but with this one is stronger because he's the sexiest.

[Star83]

it's not normal but you don't love him either just worried that you will lose a good friend

[Trascendingjoy]

Yeah I'm hoping this is it. He's a great friend, who gives even greater sex.

[Star83]

lucky you enjoy it

[Anonymous]

Yeah I don't like mine to look or talk to other girls or I get upset. So it's normal

[Trascendingjoy]

Thank you. And you're sure you don't love them?

[Streamhopper]

You love him. Pretty easy to see that. Now you have to reconcile the whole friends with benefits thing versus the girlfriend thing. Good luck with that.

[Trascendingjoy]

I was scared of that. 😔 he made it clear he's not a relationship-guy so I don't want to get hurt. I truly love my boyfriend though, that's for sure. Can I really love them both?

[Streamhopper]

Well, you have options. You can keep things the way they are - that's the easiest for both of them, but hardest for you. You could leave your boyfriend and take a chance he'll change. I doubt that happening. Or, you could give him up and stay with your boyfriend. No matter what road you take, you're going to suffer some level of hurt; but you knew that going into this kind of thing, I'd expect. As a last alternative, you can try to love them both, but I can almost guarantee that won't end well for any of the 3 people involved here.

[guy532]

HAHAHAHAHAHA you truly love your boyfriend, that's the biggest load of bullshit I've read on here in a loooooong time. You don't betray the person you love like that.

[Trascendingjoy]

It's obvious you've been cheated on, guy532 and I'm sorry about that. But not everything is so black-and-white. I love him, I do. But I also have needs.

[guy532]

You don't love him, you don't hurt people you love like that. You don't get to say you love him when you're doing something like that, it's bullshit. People throw the word love around as if it's nothing serious. If you love someone, you'd never do something that brings you pleasure and nothing but pain for him. I don't buy your bullshit. You're just a selfish immature girl. Breakup with him and tell him why, there's nothing worse than being dumped and then finding out the truth later on or wondering for months why it ended. If you actually love him, you'd do the right thing by him and let him free so he can be with a girl that actually respects him.

[guy532]

If you actually loved him, you'd drive those two damn hours to see him for your needs or meet him halfway. But you won't, you do what's easiest and most convinient for you because you're a selfish girl who only thinks about herself. I had no car and lived 80 miles from my cheating ex and I still went to see her everyday. I took a 2 hour train ride to see her and that doesn't include getting to the station and getting to her house from the station that would take another hour. Why did I do that every damn week? Because I actually loved and cared about her. See that's the fucking difference between love and whatever bullshit feeling you feel for him. Sorry that you feel guilty, but I hope that's a wake up call for you. The world needs less cheaters.

[guy532]

sorry not everyday, once or twice a week

[Trascendingjoy]

You don't know me. I drive those two damn hours AS OFTEN AS I CAN. My gas is low and I don't have a job. I asked him to come meet me for once and he DID NOT.

[Trascendingjoy]

He has NEVER drove to meet me. Never. I get very lonely, ok? Sometimes I can't be a perfect moral angel, sometimes I think with my emotions.

[guy532]

then breakup with him! If he's not making you a priority enough to see you then you too deserve better as well. Seriously, it's one of the few cases where breaking up is the best for everyone involved.

[guy532]

does your boyfriend know about this relationship you have with him?

[Trascendingjoy]

No, I don't think I should tell him yet. He can't be here for me right now and I really needed a man's touch and company.

[guy532]

Awww you're such a sweetheart, protecting your boyfriend like that by not telling him you're cheating on him. What a great gal you are. If he can't be there for you and you can't keep it in your pants then breakup, cheating is never justifiable.

[guy532]

just read why he can't be with you. You're a selfish bitch, I wish I knew who your boyfriend was so I could tell him to dump your cheating ass. You don't even feel bad which makes it so much worse. You have zero morals, ugh what a scumbag.

[Trascendingjoy]

I'm not proud of this, please don't judge me. My counselor says I may be a sex addict and it's NOT easy. I don't feel like my boyfriend cares about me that much anyway but I love him so I can't break up with him.

[guy532]

As someone who's been cheated on, I'm going to judge the shit out of you. If you can't handle a stable relationship then don't be in one, it's unfair to your partner and just shows how incredibly immature and selfish you are. There's guys out there who want open relationships and that's what you should be going for. If you had any morals you would tell your boyfriend that you've been consistently cheating on him. I frankly think you're a bitch and I'm not going to sugar coat it. You have no idea how hurtful it is to your partner and the long term damage it does. But why should you care? You ONLY think about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Wait does your boyfriend know about him?

Also it's called narcissism.

[Trascendingjoy]

No... he lives 2 hours away and can't be here for me right now. :(

Okay I am FAR from narcissistic, if anything I'm terrified of not being good enough. I just feel like he's mine, I don't know why. It's making me crazy.

[Opinion Owner]

People like you make me sick.

[Trascendingjoy]

Why? Please don't be so harsh, I'm in enough pain as it is. I'm sorry I'm not a perfect angel.

[Opinion Owner]

There's a lot of room between cheating on someone and being a perfect angel.

[Anonymous]

You love him. You don't realize it. I was like you but I've come to terms with this. I don't want any female near him now so you do love him

[Lithium65]

something doesn't add up.
Would you rather sleep with your boyfriend or fwb?

[Trascendingjoy]

I won't lie.. my friends with benefits is MUCH better at sex. But I love my boyfriend.

[Lithium65]

Do they know of each other?

[Trascendingjoy]

My friends with benefits knows about my boyfriend (I gush about him a lot). My boyfriend knows of him as my friend... but doesn't know about the benefits yet.

[Lithium65]

it sounds like if your boyfriend were better in bed you might be more content.
But you want to have a cake and to eat it to.
talk to your boyfriend about trying stuff in the bedroom and see what he says.

[BeastRB]

Not really you definitely have feelings for him

[Trascendingjoy]

Oh no. 😔 I was worried about this.

[BeastRB]

No need to be worried unless you're sure he doesn't feel the same way towards you

[Trascendingjoy]

I'm not sure, he cuddles me a lot and gives me advice... he could. But at the same time he's obviously attracted to other girls and would screw them if they wanted to.

[BeastRB]

You should really break up with your boyfriend and spare him the heartbreak. Poor guy.

[Trascendingjoy]

I can't. 😞 it doesn't help that having him around is helping with the pain of my friends with benefits possibly talking to/screwing other girls. I can't.

[BeastRB]

That's incredibly selfish.

[Anonymous]

You sound just like my girlfriend

[Opinion Owner]

She likes having more then one guy but don't want them being with anyone else

[CT_CD]

fill in the blank... You are a _____!

[Mesonfielde]

No, obsession is bad

[jman46241]

Haha

[Anonymous]

It can happen