How to handle seeing someone who rejected you?

[Anonymous]

Hi there, I have social anxiety and despite being in my twenties I have never asked a girl out in my life, not even once. A few months back though that finally changed after seeing a girl in a place I regularly study from time to time. We would make eye contact on most days we would see one another across the room. Long story short, I thought she liked me so after many days of trying to build up confidence I asked her if she'd like to hang out. She politely declined and that was fine.

Personally though, I felt humiliated and heard so many people around me laughing at my expense, the girl even had to leave the room and sit somewhere else I appeared to have made her so uncomfortable. Not so long afterwards I just had to get out of there myself. It probably didn't help that the interaction between us wasn't quite as smooth as I imagined it would be in my head. I was a nervous wreck, stuttering and can't even remember my exact choice of words to be honest, they were all over the place.

Regardless she declined and I accept that's O. K. I have gotten over the shoot to my self-esteem and hold no grudges. She wasn't a mean girl in the slightest. Problem is now is I want to go back to the place I once studied, as I haven't went back once since then, and I miss studying there. I am ashamed to admit that despite being a grown man I have been terrified of returning incase I see her. But I feel like a shell of who I know I am deep down inside and won't let this weak minded nonsense dictate my life anymore.

So basically, how does one handle a situation like this. I understand I should be nice, but by doing what? What would a girl who sees a guy she once rejected think when she sees him again? A girl who no doubt told her friends about such an awkward interaction and am sure she probably doesn't feel 100% comfortable around me. Do I just ignore her? Say hi no hard feelings? Smile and nod?

Thanks for reading and I appreciate your responses.

[Anonymous]

Just smile and nod honestly it's fine everyone's been rejected at some point don't let it put you down or put you off asking girls out in the future also please can you help me I'm really confused! I've just finished year 12 & this guy from one of my classes always looks at me from the corner of his eye for like two seconds when he sees me out and about like he's giving me a side glance. He never says anything even though we've spoken before in class. It's really weirding me out and I want to know what this means. It's like he doesn't want me to know he's looking at me so he doesn't have to speak to me. I don't know i'm just sooooooo confused please tell me what to make of this. also I've hinted that it's fine for him to add me on social media even messaging him but no response at all but then he acts like this what is he so afraid of lol sorry for such a long q but plss help

[Asker]

As someone who's been that guy, I can say chances are he likes you. On paper someone who's very on and off with signals can seen extremely complex. But the reality of humans is much simpler once you understand it. He's most likely shy is all.

When I was your age deep down I kinda always knew the answer to these questions by instinct, it was my self doubt and lack of experience that led me to finding confirmation elsewhere, like the Internet or friends etc. I think you're experiencing something similar. The confident side of you knows by instinct he most likely likes you. I think you 2 should talk and be honest. Though, I know it's easier said than done.

I can put this into words easily because I've struggled to act upon things mostly and end up reading too much about this stuff, only to later look back and easily see the truth of what was going on without having to read or ask anyone anything lol.

Good luck and thanks answering.

[Opinion Owner]

thankyou so much! you're an amazing adviser! :)

[Opinion Owner]

Can I also just add one more thing I think I have put enough hints to give this guy a little inkling that I do like him by complimenting him and even messaging him but he didn't reply to my message although he has complimented me back and asked me things that made it seem like he does like me what do I make of this?

[Asker]

Thanks a lot. I appreciate that.
As silly as it might sounds, if he's shy and more notably inexperienced he probably has similar thought's to you. He is aware deep down that you like him but is so I experienced it's not something normal to him and has no many thoughts of what could go wrong so he tried to to ignore you, but slips up sometimes due to temptation.

I could be wrong, no one knows 100% but that's my best bet. As frustrating as it can be I think you may need to be upfront with him. Good luck.

[Opinion Owner]

thankyou! i will be :)

[BarbieLola]

If you can get through this it will make you stronger. & if you get rejected enough you will build up a tolerance and it won't bother you. I'd say do nothing, don't pay her any attention

[Dsausy]

Ok I'm gonna try and help ya. Here's the thing, you both were embarrassed right? So naturally she is probably the same as you just maybe not as extreme because she may not have social anxiety. But just keep the fact in mind that she feels just as awkward as you do and she won't call you out or anything to single you out. Also, don't really seek her out or it will get worse, just go in and do your own thing like you used to. If you guys bump into each other for whatever reason just treat her how you would anyone else, be polite and such

[FalconSocka]

I was in similar situation. I know it's hard but just try to act as if nothing happened. And rule n.1 - just don't care about others. You had a courage to ask her (most of guys can't do that). Be proud of it.