How do you deal with being ugly? (Page 2)

Question

I've been called handsome, and told I was cute, but that was mostly by my mom and family and friends. But one of my friends told me that I can't be picky when I went out to pick up girls. When I asked why should I have to settle, he told me "Well no offense, but your not exactly the best looking guy around either."Of course I've felt that I was unattractive before, and  usually, I could deal with it, telling myself that I couldn't get a girl because I went to small private schools my whole life, and there wasn't much to pick from. But somewhere in side me, I knew it wasn't true; I've always known that I was ugly. I don't get compliments like my friends do; I usually get ignore, or get told "I like you as a friend, or a brother". I'm only 18, but I just don't know how to deal with it. I've never even gotten my first kiss, which only adds to how I feel.Then, last night, figuring I could increase myself-esteem, I put my pix on a web site where people can vote if they think your attractive or not. Every person that say mine, said I was unattractive. I can't ask my mom because when she was a kid, she was pretty and lots of people found her attractive. I don't have a dad, so that's not an option either. I'm 5'8, 173 lbs, milk chocolate skin, or some I'm told, and have a friendly and inviting personality. But we all know that when it comes to it, personality is the last thing that helps when you're looking at someone.I just need some advice on how to deal with this. Please, anyone?

xAnge · Answer

Dont stop being picky, you deserve the right girl ! don't settle for less.

Really its not about looks at all, people are so superficial these days its sad. What can a hot-or-not site honestly tell you. Trust me a guy that can hold his head up high, and be confident is all I need.

human_condition · Answer

So learn to love who you are. Looks aren't everything (I don't think they should make any difference at all, but people ae stupid). So the hotter girls might not notice you- find a less attractive girl. We have better personalities, and spend less time staring in the mirror :)

I'm pretty sure you have many other qualities aside from your appearance.

moonlightromance · Answer

there isn't such a thing as "ugly people" because there's somebody for everyone. there's gonna be at least one person out there that finds you attractive or unattractive because everyone has different taste. so whoever says your ugly just doesn't have that kind of taste. there will be many girls that will find you cute

AmieMangeDesOurs · Answer

I really want to give you a hug right now. You shouldn't feel ugly because looks are superficial and based on what you said you have a great personality. I think your lack of confidence makes you more of a brother or friend than a boyfriend type. So just put yourself out there

and personally, I really like funny, smart, shy guys.

pezzonovante88 · Answer

Hey man, sometimes I feel the same way. Obviously looks matter to certain extent and they play a particular role in meeting people and developing initial attraction. College is pretty much the same as high school in that MANY of the girls are still primarily interested in abercrombie models. Once you get older (later 20's) things will probably change and that's when personality and attitude come in to play. I rarely get attention in public either, while some of my friends do. Its self-esteem killer. Don't worry though, there ARE attractive girls that aren't shallow that will look deeper than looks. I haven't seen your pics, but I doubt you're bad looking anyway.

Good luck, buddy!

justalady · Answer

Ive seen ugly..flavor flav is ugly..lol but nah I don't judge people on looks really..nobody should judge people on there looks..all of god creations are beatiful..see flavor flav not to good looking but his personality makes up for his looks..personality is always a plus..now someone whos hard on the eyes and have a bad attitude should be called ugly..yes indeed;)

Anonymous · Answer

what is your definition of being ugly that makes you think your ugly? what ever makes you think you are ugly, is simply telling you lies, you have an opportunity to see, your face is not fractured or spoilt, do you want your face to have a disfigure before you can figure out that your not ugly, do not let people get to you by what they think of you, one thing is for sure, in case it's a girlfriend that you do not have that is bothering you, well I've seen girls who are considered to be hot by society, date guys that are not hot(in your own language, ugly). Simply because you have not found somebody who appreciates you for who you are, and what you look like that does not mean your ugly. There is somebody who will fall head over heels for you and what you are, though it may not be soon, or it might be soon, it's a matter of patience, but time will come when you will find that person.

notelling123 · Answer

Ok dude, there's nothing that ANY of us can say that's gonna make a difference to your own opinion because of the frame of mind you have created for yourself.

Now, no one can lie and say that people don't look for the good looking people and then check their personality because that's a lie, but looks its only the bottom tier, once theyre over talking to you, its all about your personality and if you ain't got a good personality then your good looks ain't getting you no where.

There is someone who will think your good looking but your lack of confidence is restricting that person from finding you! If you feel your ugly and when you go out with your good looking mates and there all outgoing with themselves and your sitting in the corner feeling sorry for yourself do you think the girls are gonna be looking at you or your mates?

pick yourself up, don't worry about superficial looks, NO BODY is perfect and sell yourself.

rainbowsandchocolate · Answer

seriously you should just ignore these people because I no I don't look at the looks if the guy I like is nice to me and others and doesn't make innapropriate comments then ill consider its not about looks dude.. and if other girls can't except that then they are NOT the one for you...

baseballbandfreak27 · Answer

don't worry about it man, once you get into college or the real world, you will see that it is a lot different then highschool, most of the girls who for looks in high school have found out that most of those guys are a**holes and will be looking for a nice guy

ImogenNicole · Answer

I know gorgeous girls who are dating pretty ugly guys. I'm sure your not ugly I tend to think people are ugly when they are a horrible person.

Aslong as your nice and yourself and that you have other qualities I'm sure you'll be fine.

I mean id much rather date a nice ugly guy than a good looking guy who treats me like sh*t.

Just try not to worry about it and focus on the good traits you have :)

oh and remember there's someone always worse out there :)

Danny1 · Answer

mate I don't mean to be arraogant, but I have a beer gut, a patchy shave a double chin, no job and cheap clothes... And my girlfriends I must say are always pretty hot.

Its all about confidence man, girls are like horses, they want a good rider, if you walk up to a girl all scared and sh*t then they will know it and consider you a bad rider and not let you on.

If you are confident, and you really have to know your worth they will be impressed by you. The way you interact with other males, the fact that you are flirting with every girl you meet in some way all tells them you are in controll of yourself.

Just work with what you got man, not everyone can be beautiful, stop whining and be happy.

TornApart · Answer

don't call yourself ugly :) and I am sure you are handsome! if you are that concerned about that, take yourself on a bit of a new wardrobe shopping spree. a new haircut. etc. :)

but don't call yourself ugly! because I highly doubt you are! everyone is beautiful.

my old friends was concerned, and he went to a spa, and started working out, got a new wardrobe, and everyone was drooling over him after the summer. it was a interesting but amazing transformation! :)

misstisa206 · Answer

looks don't matter. let your personality shine through. if people are shallow, you wouldn't want to hang around them anyway would you? no guy is tooo ugly. girls are less picky than men are. I've been attracted to guys before who were not that good looking on the outside  because they were funny and sometimes quirky. it depends on the girl, but you can find someone who likes you. just don't beat yourself up over it or you will become a self-fulfilling prophecy

LilPinkGirl · Answer

don't put your pix up on a rating site seriously...people always say horrible things. I remember one of the comments I got was "wow I heard the camera puts on 10 pounds but with this bitch it's 100!" and people would make fun of my nose...and teeth. so I never did it again.

and just to let you know, us girls really do not care that much about looks...at least I don't. maybe you really are attractive, you just have low self esteem?

IrishMetal · Answer

Beuaty is in the eye of the beholder dude, some girls say I'm really hot and some don't think I'm really top notch ya know? Just remember that beauty is only skin deep, and there are people who will see past what you consider "ugly" and will like you anyways, good luck my freind, just don't give up on yourself, because girls love self confidence.

misio · Answer

ok here is my honest opinion...

and NO PEOPLE IM NOT BULLSHITING THIS

i do check out guys and I do think some are cute ...but if they have no self confidence or are complete d***s I dump them :)

looks are not everything to me. the guy has to mke me laugh too :D

smee223 · Answer

Well to mee I don't go  for looks. It just shows how shallow someone is if they judge you on looks. I mean like It is all about the personality to me. I mean like you can't fall in love with someone looks you fall in love with the person they are. So I mean I wouldn't be to hard on yourself there is someone out there waiting for you to come along give it time

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sure someone out there is going to think you're attractive. You're still young, so just because some people online (who probably ain't so pretty themselves) don't find you attractive, it doesn't mean that you're ugly and will be alone for the rest of your life. Your personality is a good feature, though! Try to be more outgoing. Because, honestly, if you have "ugly" hair or "ugly" clothes, you can change those things. You can't change an ugly personality, though.

And if it worries you that much, post a picture of yourself asking what girls think would make you more attractive.

sweetycakes · Answer

You shouldn't take notice from other people, your freind probaly doesn't have any confidence in his self , people always call me ugly. When I walk past girls I always here them say look how ugly she is. Now I take no notice and my confidence is getting better. you should get confidence. Its not actually even about looks its about confidence. Look at dappy from and dubz all girls fancy him but he's not good looking its the way he acts and dresses.

annie777 · Answer

If you feel confident,that can be hugely attractive to the opposite sex and don't forget beauty is in the eye of the beholder.concentrate on being the lovely guy you are and the right girl will come along who will love and appreciate you for who you are.   Maybe your mate who says you are not good looking is jealous or maybe it boosts himself ,so he doesn't feel so bad,because everyone has something they dislike about themselves---BELIEVE ME.

ILoveCefalu · Answer

Whenever I'm feeling ugly, I take a shower, go outside, drink a lot of water, or do my hair. Most of the time I just shrug and remember that I'm only getting prettier as I age and one day I'll be beautiful. One day of ugly isn't too bad a price for that.

AudreyB · Answer

If you are truly ugly you can still get good lookin women. Just have a giant **** and know how to use it. (sorry honest). And you are young you don't want to meet the right one you need to meet miss right now. Have fun. Everyone thinks they have to someone yes its nice but go out and explore and the right person will find you.

kikihow · Answer

First of all, beauty is the eye of the beholder.

Secondly, confidence, integrity and a sense of humor makes a man handsome/sexy. I've dated guys that when I first laid eyes on them, I didn't find them attractive. However, once I got to know them I thought they were the best thing since sliced bread! Likewise, I've also dated guys who first appeared very attractive, but when I got to know them, suddenly became ugly.

Now, if these answers don't do it for you, I have another suggestion. Why don't you ask one of the girls that are your friends to give you a makeover? They will know what your good features are and help you play them up. Also, you could work out which would likely help boost your confidence and help you meet girls. You could do online dating with a silly picture of yourself (women love guys who can laugh at life and themselves). Dating is a numbers game!

thatcrazygirl21 · Answer

The reason that you cannot get girls is because of your attitude and presence. If you think you are ugly, then you will not present yourself well and your attitude may suffer.

Just be confident. I've dated guys who are not a bit attractive but have a very awesome personality :) Be okay with yourself and you'll find someone who will love you for you.

top_cat · Answer

I've been told I'm not attractive either and it hurts my man. The only way you can get a gorgeous respectable woman is to stress the necessities. Brush your teeth, have nice, fairly short hair, dress casual over sporty, and 15 pushups a day never hurt. No matter how good an item is, it won't sell without good packaging. Watch Chris Rock - Love and Relationships on youtube. Funny as hell but helps a lot.

bjs09 · Answer

You have to find the beauty in yourself and love yourself and then other people will star to as well. It's really important that you just make it right with yourself, look in the mirror and tell yourself you're handsome and you're a good guy. I'm not the prettiest girl but I just try to tell myself that I have lots of great friends and family and I'm really lucky and it does actually help. you just have to believe it, haha, chin up :)

Miyuki · Answer

Maybe all you need is a style upgrade. I think that there's not a whole lot of truly unattractive people out there, just people who are too lazy to work at it. Being attractive is partly in the personality, partly in the style. Try going to askmen.com. There are lots of style tips for guys there. Start with your confidence. You seem like a really nice dude, but lacking in the confidence department. Find out what you're good at and reach for the stars! Women love confident men.

KarKingJack · Answer

Why would you deal with it? If its got you beat, you gotta sit down with yourself, and get determined about it. What do you think is 'attractive'? What do you want to look like? And take those steps. Consider a new hairstyle, a change of clothing, growing your hair or cutting it or just getting a new hairstyle, shaving or growing a bit of a beard, so on so on. Your in controll, man. Keep at it untill you feel sexy, and then you'll come accross sexy, and everyone will want you. I swear, man.

jaycon · Answer

actually personality is the MAIN thing people look for.. I've seen some fugly guys with gorgeous girls!  girls go for personality bro so let it shine and don't worry about the small stuff.. you can always go workout and get buff.  that would add like 3-4 pts to your rating :P

billsmithglendale · Answer

A couple of things:

1. Looks are highly subjective. It only really matters on an individual basis, and believe me, one person's ugly is another person's handsome, and it doesn't have anything to do with the other person's looks or status.

2. Women don't value looks nearly as much as guys do with women. Yes, at a younger age, it matters more, but especially after their mid 20s, women look for entirely different things in men than men do with women -- stability, a promising future, a good income, a good job, honestly, trustworthiness.

So really, don't sweat it. I used to worry just as much, and I've been married to a beautiful woman for 12 years now, and dated women I found pretty.

Just be confident, stop worrying about what idiots on some site or your hater friends think. Women will smell your confidence and like you.

shyguy47 · Answer

girls don't care just about how you look they do when there like little but when they grow up a little more there care less and less your get your first kiss and I bet it will real soon, guys care about looks (even me and I think beauty is only skin deep) girls like personality but I say does something that will make a girl who you like to talk to you and she might like, I say post post a little bit about your self and a pic and watch these videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPLEdUPQNH4

it will tell you that there is someone out there for you since there's plenty of fish in the sea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvCR5wTImCk

it explains itself at the end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yEK7JRsXZk

same as the second. if you have questions just ask me

camcam · Answer

Send me a picture and I swear I'll be 100% honest and tell you how to be more attractive. My name is Cami by the way and I'm not the most attractive either so don't worry. you'll find a girl that loves you for your looks and personality. you seem like a nice guy, you just need some confidence(: don't worry everything will workout. If your sweet and have some looks every girl will be all over you, trust me I'm a girl. I'm not very pretty and I'm super tall 5'6 but I have confidence because there is ALWAYS someone that finds you attractive. hope I helped(: Please send me a pic and ill help.

31Ross · Answer

Too many people on this website are talking BS. Girls will give you their number if you look attractive and have confidence. People might say there is no rating system but their is. 10's will end up with 10's and 5's will end up with 5's. Yes there are exceptions but those are the general rules. So look as best you can (working out, match your clothes up, fix your hair) and go for someone in your league.

InLoveGirl04 · Answer

you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. I don't know how you are in appearance..but I know that the appearance is not the most important thing. I've fallen in love with many guys and they are not necessary the most handsome guys. I think the personality is the key, that's what I fall for. You really shouldn't care what other people think about you, cause everyone is beautiful in their own way. If you feel handsome, you look handsome. Believe me ;)

macorrah · Answer

How you feel about yourself is how everyone else will see you.  I am not by any means an ugly girl but I NEVER date the hot guys.  They're always jerks.   I've never met one that wasn't.  Of course that's not to say that a few of them aren't but I've personally never met one.  Personality plays a big part in attraction for me.  I've met some people that I thought wow that person is ugly but once I got to know them they became beautiful to me.  Just introduce yourself to girls and be yourself.  If you really do have an amazing personality girls will pick up on that and be more interested than they were before they got to know you.  If they don't then don't waste your time wondering what is wrong with you, pick yourself up and try again.  There are plenty of girls out there who will see your true beauty and if they don't they're just too shallow to see what they're missing out on.

assley · Answer

Know your worth and don't settle for less. and sounds like you need new friends lol my friends would never say I was ugly even if its true. they know the person I am on the inside. its true that we can't see someones personality at first sight but you can be friendly and that's just as attractive.

TheWonderer09 · Answer

Everyone sees everyone a diferent way.  As the amount of people who think you are unattractive increases, so does the amount of people who think you are attractive.  If you have been told you were handsome at some point, then you undoubtedly not unattractive.  Don't sweat it dude and don't get down yourself.  Trust me.  Been there.

ThaJazzyt1415 · Answer

hun, people like to look on the outside alot, if you have a good personality, the right person for you to have that first kiss with will come along. I had the same problem til I decided the One who made me like this did it for a reason. God wants you to have theright person and not some girl who will hurt you. Accept the way you are that the first thing, self confidence. then everything will go from there. Hold you head up.

DocClassic · Answer

cant get looks, but you can get confidence...its like a more potent form of looks haha,  just find your best qualities and basically convince yourself that you are the sh*t haha.  but you can't display it that much or you will look arrogant.  just think that you are really all that and people will sense it in your presence

gothicbabe253 · Answer

Looks shouldn't matter to a girl. I don't care much about looks because it's not important. If your sweet and funny and everything like that then that's all that should matter. If a guy has all that then there should be no reason why a girl wouldn't like you. Good looks are a bonus but they don't matter. Its what's on the inside

windy-rose · Answer

It might make it more difficult up front, but once you put personality out there, girls start forgiving physical 'flaws' very quickly for a great person. There a multiple guys I don't consider super attractive but I would totally take them up one date because of who they are.

sadeaf1 · Answer

dont be too hard on yourself.

before you love anyone else or try to get in a relationship, you have to love you.

you have to look in the mirror and be glad that your alive, and people still want to be around you.

I used to be seriously hideous, no joke. And around high school, I just started working on my self esteem, and now I get compliments all the time.

honestly work on your self esteem before anything& btw

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Kass1964 · Answer

Well, I'm not trying to be mean, but you said "settle". You have to settle to be with someone that's not that good looking? You're so worried about being ugly, but when it comes to less appealing girls it's settling? How do you think they feel?

JBird1000 · Answer

don't worry I was the same way in high school. I had asked this girl to a dance and she told me no, I later heard she told her friend I was gross looking. I would say that I'm not, I'm pretty average. anyways, personality is always good with girls. I use my personality with a bunch of girls and they like me for it. Trust me, if you have a good personality and a girl still doesn't like you for it then its her fault, not urs.

uwbadgerguy · Answer

if your legit ugly, your likely relegated to less than attractive girls as people tend to stick to near their own physical attractiveness. however, I walk around and see fugly short outta shape losers with decent girls so some girls are hard to predict.

Anonymous · Answer

Just except it & move on.  I'm not exactly Pamela Anderson, but I don't give a crap.  If you feel good about who you are, women will feel god about you.  I'm happy with the way I look, even if I'm only a 6 out of 10 to men.  I think I'm a great catch, & if a guy can't realize that, his loss :)  Same for you, feel good about yourself as you are, & realize a girl would be lucky to have you.  Attractiveness is overrated by far.

Anonymous · Answer

Look, no one's ugly okay?

Just get a new haircut, new clothes (Not like a whole new wardrobe), increase your self-esteem, be confident.

Another thing, don't say you're ugly or unattractive .. It makes it unattractive! :(

And don't worry, you'll change within a year.

I'll admit, my older brother wasn't the greatest looking guy in high school and didn't have a girlfriend. Now he's 26 and he's .. okay I guess, and has a girlfriend.

dudeman · Answer

well man it looks like you should get skill chicks dig skills dude its more about confidence then anything not looks if your the ugliest dude in the room but you command attention from the males and have their respect females like that they like leaders so I would learn some skill lift some weights and be alpha

Vieanna · Answer

Don't worry about what other people are thinking. Thinking your unattractive is... Unattractive. Seriously, focus on yourself, get yourself a great job as like a doctor or something, then all the great looking girls will be flocking to you. But by that time you might just be over them.

jessieray · Answer

honestly when it comes to guys they have it easier. You need to build up your confidence. It doesn't mattere if your unatractive I've seen the ugliest guys with the prettiest girls but its cause they feel confident.

thedarkpassenger · Answer

Dude, I know guys that are ugly as hell and they date the hottest girls around. It's all about confidence and attitude. Of course initially they're going to judge you by your looks, but that can last as long as a few seconds until you open your mouth or impress them with your confidence and you will surely get their attention.

Anonymous · Answer

If you have a very good job or make allot of money women do not really care how physically attractive you are they will find you attractive because they will see that you have other qualities that make them happy. Also women are not like men they are more attracted to a good personality than good looks.

Anonymous · Answer

Well how picky ARE you? Maybe you should extend the same courtesy to women that you want them to extend to you. Judge their personality. Not their looks. Sorry but your friend is right, not every man has the luxury to expect Halle Berry to come knockin at their door. Believe it or not you have the advantage. A true quality woman has so much more going on that just what's on the surface.  Try to focus on them.

udolipixie · Answer

Get an ugly partner.

You admit to being picky.

So you can't expect a girl to overlook your ugliness why you don't do the same.

Expecting *anything* more than what you have to offer is shallow and useless.

Anonymous · Answer

Well you said that people call you handsome,cute,ect. so why are you worrying just because one friend said you were unattractive doesn't mean anything and you would rather listen to people that don't know you than the people that are closest to you? If I were you I wouldn't change my looks you never know who might like you then you go off and change and you might not get that chance again.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

well get some fashion advice I guess but if people are telling you you are handsome and stuff, why not take their word for it? I mean, being negative isn't great and just because one friend says one thing doesn't mean it's true.

Cdeclare · Answer

The first thing you have to do in be confident in yourself all girls like confident if you are a nervous wreck then you won't be looked at .. if you believe that your ugly then that's what htey will see everyone sees you what for what you see in the mirror .. you just have to believe in yourself

loverorbestfriend · Answer

You need to change your personality...get some confidence...and, work out...all you gotta really do is build muscle and girls will come to you...a guy doesn't need to be all that really, just personality and body is enough...you dig?

rennon123 · Answer

Just think of it this way. beauty is only skin deep and looks fade. You just need to find a girl that likes you for you. and isn't worried about what you look like. :) I'm sure you will be able to find one.

How do you deal with being ugly? (Page 2)

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