Apparently I'm "undateable"?

Question

I have officially been single for the past two years. I got out of a 2 year long relationship & was extremely hurt. I've dated a million guys but find something wrong with all of them. Last Summer I let myself fall hard someone that I shouldn't have, & I believed that I had found love once again. He would randomly stop talking to me for weeks at a time, then take him back immediately when he would start talking to me again because I was just so infatuated with him & didn't want to lose him. It's been 2 months since I have talked to this guy, & I've convinced myself that if he ever tries to get in contact with me again that I won't respond. I have guys trying to talk to me all the time & always asking for my number and to go on dates, but I'm really just not interested. I guess it's true when they say you always want what you can't have. I need help getting over these 2 stupid boys who broke my heart, because I know that's exactly the reason why I can't date anyone now. I'll always think that I'm interested, but as soon as the guy starts showing a lot of interest & tells me he likes me, I instantly back off. How am I supposed to get over my fear of getting hurt? :/

Elcristoph · Accepted Answer

Hello..

you are every mans worst nightmare.. the women who will date and date but when things begin to get heated and feelings start to naturaly become invested you rn=un leaving us think "what the hell was that".. we then spend about a month drinking with our freinds resenting you telling other guys to avoid you becouse your not woth the time and money..

now my little rants over :)

the best thing you can do is TALK TO SOMEONE.. talk to a professional about your experiances, understand that.. yes there are guys out there who treat women like crap but you know what.. were not all the same.. that's the whole point in dating so you can get to know someone.. if you don't feel it with a person then you leave them.. if you start to have feelings for someone you NEED TO BE ABLE TO MANAGE THEM, becouse chances are if the guy is still there he's interested as well. I mean why wouldn't he be he's still after you..

if you honest feel that you can't manage your feelings then DONT DATE.. I'm serious.. I don't want to run into you and after 4 months find myself getting invested only for you to run..

Good Luck

- Chris

bezra · Accepted Answer

you're afraid of falling in love but if you met the right guy your all fears will just be gone and you'll get over it

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

wow I'm in a similar situation. I'm scared for getting hurt so I run away. I'm reading the guys responses and yes if you have the money get some professional help. but if not you have to look deep inside yourself and ask why are you running away and what are you running away from. specific things not just being hurt. and slowly start to tackle those specific things the next time you go on dates with guys. and learn to breathe and know that dating and getting to know someone is fun, it doesn't have to be so emotional and painful. and let your guy know that.

honestly girl the only thing that's helping me through it is my faith and prayer. seems deep but it is, if you want a healthy relationship. "no shame in that."

the_cheshire_cat · Accepted Answer

the right guy will make you feel comfortable, and you'll be able to express your fears and insecurities to him.  If he's the right guy he will help and support you and you'll fall in love because you will feel all you are supposed to with with perfect guy. (or girl if you swing that way too)