Almost all girls say they want a good guy, but when push comes to shove, they almost always choose the bad guys. I mean, good guys are actually everywhere. We're just not usually as attractive as the jerks, so girls don't really notice us. If they truly wanted good guys, they can just pick one off the streets, but we're usually unattractive, so no matter how good of a person we are, we'll usually never get picked. That leads me to the next topic: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I've heard that phrase so many times: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's something people just say to cheer up unattractive people. There's a general standard for what people find attractive. Sure, some guys that you find attractive others might not. And sure, there are some really really popular attractive guys whom you don't think are actually attractive. But there are some of us who are ACTUALLY UNATTRACTIVE, as oppose to plain looking.
Now, girls would usually say "that's not important; all you need is a good personality". Unfortunately, speed of light is much faster than speed of sound. That means that you'll see someone before you hear them. Impressions are made when you first see someone, and when you first see someone unattractive, you know nothing about them, except that they're unattractive. Sure, girls might say "well I don't judge them, because I only care about their personality". Yet, girls really don't. Maybe a guy can get more attractive over time as you get to know him more, but by that time comes, some jerk would've already came in and swept the girl away. That will actually make a full circle back to why girls date jerks.
Now, after girls read this, there are a couple of possible reactions:
-insult me and say "maybe it's just with your personality that YOU can't get a girl", though that doesn't answer the questions, and considering how you think I'm a jerk, I'd probably get one real quick xD
-say that girls actually mean those things that they say
-use examples of unattractive people who get girls, though it's the extremely rare cases of unattractive people without status or money getting attractive people, being so rare that it wouldn't matter to most of us
-and the last case which I've love, though probably not happen: tell the truth
Final note: I'm not saying this because I just got out of a long break up, or because I can't get laid. I'm sure many other guys have thought of this before, I'm just being vocal about it.
Most Helpful Opinions
Look, everyone says things like 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', it is really just to cheer people up, as you said, but men say it just as much to their unattractive female friends who whine about not having a guy. Parents tell their ugly kids the same thing. Nobody wants to be told they're ugly, the only people who get told that they are an eyesore are the people who are also d***s. Or either they are really nice and sweet people, intelligent, etc. but they're ugly, and someone who is better looking than them tells them they're ugly to make themselves feel better about not having a good personality. Wheter you are unattractive vs attractive is the first thing someone decides when they see you - it can't be and won't ever be ignored. Everyone loves pretty things, besides, in evolutionary and natural selection context, being pretty = being healthy, fit and fertile, thus being an ideal mate. This is obv not always true.
And anyway, what defines a 'good' and a 'bad' guy/girl? If you mean being good is equal to being nice and all, but also boring, well, most people are like that. Or do you mean like a fantastic person who treats everyone like gold, and is caring, intelligent, funny, etc.? If being bad is being a bit dangerous, cocky, a teaser, etc. than that isn't neccessarily bad. Or by bad, you mean someone who is abusive and a mean person, then it's a differnet matter. When people define these non-existant models of 'good' and 'bad' guys, they don't realize that neither of them are the extreme - the general population is a mix of good and bad characteristics. Hardly anyone is all good or all bad.
It's possible that 'bad' guys are more popular than 'good' guys, becase in the short-term, [which is what most girls think about under 25], a bad guy will give more excitement and spice into a relationship. Even if it's not all great, but the good times usually make up for the bad. There's something about eccentric, narcissistic and hedonistic type of characters that both genders find attractive - they are something we aren't, because we don't dare to be or don't want to be - but we still want to be around them.
Another thing to consider is – are you sure you aren't missing the point here? I don't want to insult you or anything – but unless you are attractive yourself, don't expect attractive girls to drool over you, just because you 'treat them well'... Have you considered maybe talking to her slightly chubby friend?
Ha ha this is exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you