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Why do women partake in casual hookups and act shocked/hurt when that's all it is? (Page 2)
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I've honestly has the situation more where the guy was shocked when I stopped communications after one or two rounds. Even though it was decidedly just a hookup.
I’ve even had someone that was like “hey anytime you wanna have some fun let me know” and I did. We agreed it was just for fun. And then after 4 rounds I got a Text asking “how come you only ever talk to me when you want my dick?”
I don’t understand it myself. When I realized that my casual sex days were over I told my partners that I was done with it, and that was that.
Me and one of them are currently working towards a relationship though which was unexpected but yeah 😂
in those cases they probably wanted more. guys do it too, emotions are complicated. you can want a just sex thing then want more, and sometimes i'm sure the person get caught up ad make sit seem like they want more. if you're not there in private you can't really judge how odd it is to expect more, i mean i wouldn't but i also am very clear with myself about what emotions are acceptable in any given situation, most people seem to be more impulsive.
anyhow life is not black and white, you can start fucking and fall in love, why does it matter if its not you its happening to?
There are several reasons:
1. Innate stupidity. Lots of that to go around.
2. Conditioning: They are taught from very early ages that their pussies are magical devices that can control a man and turn him into anything they want.
3. More stupidity. They believe the pussy = control rubbish.
4. Social expectations: They are taught that they have a RIGHT to "save" every man from himself, and their pussies give them the power to do so.
5. Extra stupidity--they believe that crap.
This should b MHO XD lol
A person can go have a hook up initially expecting only that but surprise themselves by how much they enjoy the experience with that person. The surprise / hurt comes when you think you're on the same page as someone and then that person acts in contrast to what you felt about the experience. It doesn't mean the girl wants a relationship per se, but if she enjoyed the sex once or twice she might be inclined to think the guy is enjoying and wants to keep having it too.
I think deep down , some women need emotional connection in order to sleep with a guy even for a one night stand. Most men will say anything to get laid so I'm thinking that girls fall/believe whatever BS the guy tells them, so after hooking up , it totally surprises these women that the guy wants nothing to do with them again.
guys do that too I guess... it is because they are not sure in what they want and they are not articulate enough on what they want... the lesson should be if you are going to do something you should "own it" but until you learn that you need to make some mistakes I guess
The girls are usually hoping that the hook up is going to turn into something more. Like she lures him in with sex, and then after they have a chance to do that after-sex bonding, he realizes what a catch she is so he stick around.
It also doesn't help that hook ups aren't really about sex for women, they're more like micro relationships. Sex is an extremely emotional thing for women, so the concept of the "alpha slut, lady player" is kind of non-existent outside of married swinger couples. The only reason it exists there is because those women have their emotional needs being taken care of already
Eh the old Venus fly trap trick, she got to watch out or she will be the one with sticky fingers.
In the best case scenario she gets a mouthful of flies!
No the stick back trap is in between her thighs.
It's not fine to just fuck people casually, it's bad for you, it's bad for them, and it's bad for society. It's not wrong to the point where anyone should force them to stop, but the advice certainly needs to be there... and let's be honest, if it was your daughter and you give two shits of a damn you'd force her to stop
This is my guess, they get into the casual sex relationship with the intention that, that's what its gonna be. Then they "catch feelings" for the guy. Some women seem to think they can change men or that their input and help is beneficial to the person. That because they are a good partner to this person eventually they'll see this and appreciate them for it. However when this doesn't happen they take personal offense to it. Why am I not good enough? Does he not see how good I am for him? He needs me? They start thinking stuff like that. Which makes them feel unappreciated, used, and gives them sense of self loathing for believing and behaving they way they did. I think that the surprise is because their perception of what the relationship was got twisted by their emotions. So they honestly didn't see it coming.
For whatever reason, girls don't want the guy who is willing to admit from the beginning he wants a relationship. They want the guy they need to "tame". So thy go after the guys that are just looking to hook up thinking "he'll realize how amazing I am and fall madly in love with me!" This rarely ever happens, and these women break their own hearts through the the expectations they've set. I understand if the guy was manipulative and lied, but I've told women straight up that I don't have time for a relationship and that I'm only looking to hook up. I don't even ghost them or act disrespectful, I just don't treat them like I would treat someone who is my girlfriend. And who do you think I nds up being labeled the asshole?
Cuz you can't get naked and do it with someone, especially multiple times, and not develop feelings - either gender, but especially women since they are feelings-based in the first place. But guys too. It forms an emotional bond. It's impossible not to.
Unless you have no soul or heart. :)
This is what a friend of mine told me. She thought if she gave the guy sex, he'd be more attracted to the possibility of dating. I think it's crazy and a round of sex isn't going to change many guys' thoughts on wanting to date someone (especially if she gave herself up easily). But that's some people.
For others, I think it's due to a purposeful misunderstanding. The guy/girl doesn't let the other person know that all they want is sex but they treat them as if they want something more.
Because they think they are special enough to change over, and it hurts when they aren't.
I've often wondered this. I think women probably have sex thinking it's only casual but then fall for the guy because for most women sex is tied to emotions wether they admit it or not.
They don't properly set up terms and conditions before the actual hookup takes place.
Thank you
Ah, that makes sense actually. I'll keep that in mind.
It takes a 17 year old to teach a 25 year old woman 😂😁. shame
@maddithebaddi I'm open minded to everyone's experiences, after all, I've never personally hooked up casually. I value my body and such.
Still butthurt about me though, I see. Glad to see I bother you so much.
Girl you're slow
@maddithebaddi Yet, I'm the one actually using a logical argument instead of throwing out insults to someone online I barely know.
Curious.
@outside_Toronto Sorry by the way, I won't continue to comment on your thread, so you won't be spammed with notifications.
It is not logical it's just flat out naive, inexperienced, stupidity, and insecurity. You got issues
I have to wonder how many of these woman are actually having "casual" sex. Most women won't have sex until after certain "bonding behaviors" have occurred, and they almost require these things before sex.
Kissing, hugging, hand holding, and cuddling before or after sex, will create a love bond between two humans. That's why I never do any of these things with my side guys, and my boyfriend doesn't do those things with his side girls.
Because feminism tells them it’s EMPOWERING and tend to forget about their biological needs and that’s security women naturally are this way due to possible offspring it’s okay and nothing to feel ashamed about. Men and women are different I’m speaking in general so isolated incidents aren’t my focus. Women long for company too. Our needs are met with attention and care. Most of us are better off choosing wisely who we share our souls with
I assume that in most cases, it's not clearly communicated. I had a casual thing going on with a guy and while I knew it was casual (and I didn't fall for him romantically) he was very shitty at communicating it, probably intentionally - though I think it's mostly not intentional.
If I just want to hook up with a guy, that's it. I know what I'm in for and that's all I want.
Most people go into it not expecting anything else. That's the "deal"
I think men &women both do this and it's partially due to ego. It can be hard to accept that someone doesn't think you're worth being around after having had sex. There's some who honestly think they only want casual sex but end up with a hard case of feels.