When I was younger I believed the best in everyone, I trusted until given a reason not to, I cared for people deeply and pretty automatically. Now that I've grown up a bit, everyone's hit puberty, and I've had chances to overhear and observe guys more often, I've realized that not all guys deserve/want/care about my trust and care. It's simple as that.
I've never been one to crush on a lot of guys but now I like guys even more rarely, because every time I've opened up to a guy they just don't care about me, not really. I've never cried over a guy but it's disappointing to see someone you believed to be a good person turn out not to be. It actually kills me a little, haha. It's so hard for me to shake that good image of someone.
I've learned to not tell guys how much I care about/like them. I've actually learned to not invest myself emotionally at all. The problem is, I've seen beautiful girls insult guys and they'll laugh it off. But me being an average looking girl, I can be totally polite and sincere and not get any attention at all. This just shows me how much people really care about your personality.
Once I trust you I trust you forever or until you do something to lose it. I am one of the most loyal friends you can have, I'll always be honest. But that comes with you showing me that you care, too.
I think we as women have trouble trusting men through experience. It is a learned behavior. Weirdly, I actually have a great deal of trust for the men in my family, but I have trouble trusting other men (or people in general) because I don't know how they were raised. As only a 20 yr old, many of the men my age (and even many women I admit) are still immature. I don't think most of them are intentionally malicious so much as just clumsy at handling matters of the heart perhaps due to not being in touch with their emotions. Emotions are not weak or bad, but can be dangerous if not well-understand. Unfortunately, many young men were taught by their father's not to show emotion and many women aren't encouraged to be logical, so many people are incomplete in their functioning because people need both logic and emotions to be fully functional and make wise decisions. I love men and I want to trust them, but I am just skeptical based on what I have seen so far. I know there are good men out there though, but even good men are not necessarily compatible with what I want in a partner. That is a whole different story though. My hope is that I am seeing some growth in men I know. Very slowly though...
Sorry for the spelling/grammar mistakes. I hate when I do that!
We hear many horror stories about boys, & are afraid of getting hurt. Many boys are just after sex & easily cheat as they have no respect for women. But, as you said, there is a difference between men & boys. I believe there are good men out there, I've met some men who I knew would never cheat on their significant other. If a guy is a Christian, I have more trust in him because he has God & morals to help him do the right thing. Generally, I have good insticts, so I can tell the difference between men & boys, but some women can't do this. They've been hurt before & start blaiming all men for what one boy did. I read somewhere it has to do with being the weaker sex also. Men can protect themselves if a girl decides to hurt them, but women have to be more cautious as they don't have the means to protect themselves. It was an interesting article, but anyways, the big point is all women want to trust men, but don't give their trust easily. We believe trust is earned, so it takes time to gain a women's trust. many bad guys are out, & we don't want to put our trust in them to only be hurt.
What if a guy has morals and believes in a God just not the Christian God? Such as a Muslim or Jew or is atheist?
An atheist can choose not to cheat if they have morals, but many atheist (not all) don't have as many ethics as someone who is religious. This is because they don't believe anyone is out there to see them make mistakes, & figure what their girl doesn't know, won't hurt them. As for other religions, I'd have to study their teachings. I know Judaism is against adultery, so I think they they have extra motive not to cheat. One reason Christians might not cheat is because God gives strength.
What about a Muslim?
I haven't studied the Muslim religion enough to know where they stand on adultery.
I'll tell you. It's basically the same. It says no one can committ adultery and masturbation isn't permitted either.
If a religion allowed adultery then all the teenagers would convert themselves to that relgion
LOL
They don't trust guys, because they don't trust themselves, and they don't trust their female friends. It's a projection of the lack of trust they have for themselves and the entire sisterhood... wouldn't take it personally..
Opinion
0Opinion
I would say not all women are like that.
A lot of women who've never been in a relationship with another man are usually the one's who trust guys, very easily. I mean why wouldn't they? unless if they've seen so many of the people around them be hurt by men, that they barely have learned to trust men.
Some times to be honest, guys tend to lie just to make themselves look bigger in a woman's eyes. Why? probably because they like that woman either so dearly and they want the woman to think he is the one or he is the woman's super hero.
Or they want to take advantage of her.
Honestly you can use everything in this world for good and bad intentions.
That is why In Islam the key to all the other sins is lying. if you lie now it will make it very easy to cheat and steal and commit other forbidden acts.
and of course lying definitely causes big issues in a society such as men and women trusting each other.
If we learn to NEVER lie to our children , our children will never lie when they get older, and thus can have a successful relationship in the future.
Because it's not safe. I'm not even going to talk about "hurt feelings" to start with, but rather, violence. Men have a horrible track record for verbally and physically abusing, raping, and killing their partners, plain and simple. That is the #1 valid reason for women to be wary of men. I KNOW "not all men" and that some women do those things too, but just read or listen to the news for a few weeks and see the pattern for yourself.
Men have been shown to have less empathy, and therefore are often not capable or have no desire to understand your thoughts and feelings. Men's desire to understand women usually only goes so far as to get her to do what he wants. Check out the pickup artist community for examples (and a good laugh). Both men and women lie and cheat, but the saying is true: a woman can fake an orgasm, but a man can fake a whole relationship.
You might be a good man, I don't know. But that's the whole problem, there's no way of knowing. Often, the men who claim to be the nicest, are really the worst and can quickly go from Jekyll to Hyde when rejected. It usually comes down to the fact that they don't view women as fully human in quite the same way as themselves and don't respect her right to autonomy.
So I recommend that women can have relationships with men, sure, but always keep a certain level of caution. Treat the men in your life as you would a trained circus tiger... he may be tame, but he still ultimately sees you as a piece of meat. Sexual relationships and companionship with men can be rewarding, just never trust a man with your heart, and always watch out for your physical safety in confrontational situations. For example, never be alone with a man after you've rejected or broken up with him. Yes, I might sound bitter or paranoid, but it's better bitter and paranoid than dead!
*I don't know. I think men have a historical license by way of society to do things that are unfair. Harvey Weinstein is in Hollywood, for example, but how many among us have people like this who do hurtful things to girls and women. Or Bill Cosby who admitted to putting qualudes in drinks of women. Or pedophiles.
*Or just not thinking a girl is capable, or might get annoyed if she makes more money than him. Or an acceptance of people like R. Kelly or abusive men who are still given passes because they are great musicians (we can all name a couple or four).
*I worked at a restaurant once, 3 Michelin stars, and one of the guests was a married man with a really smart wife. And guess what? He came in with a different woman probably every few weeks. And then when he was with his wife, they'd have a lavish feast in the more exclusive dining room. Wasn't it a thing that women would just accept that a husband might sleep with a secretary?
*This is the license that society gives to men I think. And having been hurt by a few, it is hard to trust the general group. You just hope that you, knowing how society does not tip in your favor, will still find someone that you can both be each other's biggest fan and support.
*Generally speaking, no, I don't trust anyone, and men for specific reasons such as these.
*That was liberating.
My ability to trust men is pretty much gone at least on personal levels. If it's at work or in a public place I'm not as guarded unless the guy insists on making it personal then I'll avoid him like the plague. I've trusted men over the years only to have my trust thrown at me like it didn't matter. I used to trust without hesitating now I don't trust men period and I doubt I'll ever want to again. Trust is earned it's not to be assumed or expected. I'll talk to men but I'll never trust any again unless I'm shown and given more than a few thousand reasons to want to start. Not all men are untrustworthy but I've yet to meet ANY that merit my trust for ANY reason. I apologize if this sounds offensive but my experiences with men haven't been good. A man i was supposed to trust as a pre teen sexually abused me until i beat the crap out of him fast forward a few yeas Ex husband cheated, lied and left me with two children to raise in a house that was in horrible shape after i got out of the hospital after having been treated for cancer, two ex boyfriends (at different times and years apart) both liars, thieves and cheats. I've tried to give men the benefit of the doubt but it's my opinion I'm better off single and not trusting any man to cause me so much damage again. I don't have it in me to try but if I were to do it all over again I'd never have gotten married in the first place or dated any man. Men fear rejection women fear being hurt or killed by men.
It's plain and simple. Boys are immature and assholes. What they really should be doing is treating girls how they would want their dad to treat their mom. But they are stupid and don't think like that. Most of the time they don't think before they do something. It's like they never know what they even want. It's so annoying. And you can never know what they are really after. It is not that hard to say how you really feel and to figure out what you really want. The trusting part is the absolute hardest.
well it doesn't just go to men but to both sexes.
i personally dont trust anyone because to earn someone's trust is like you are honor to have this trust, respect, gratitude. like they actually know you exist than being a nobody/stranger.
to break someone's trust is like war. :(
you made a treaty to promise, to trust, but broke the treaty therefore, we are no longer as one but become enemies.
in my experience i dont trust men AT ALL, same goes to women.
Men i encounter say nice things to get what they want. they lie because that's their ego.
Women gossip and likes drama cause their life is boring as fuck and they have nothing to do but talk shit. =-= their mouth runs faster than anything else.
I think because most guys are not as emotional as females it's hard to trust them with your own emotions. Like guys can have sexual relationships with other females no feelings or strings attached. So honestly I think if they could get away with having their cake and eating it too they just might do it. I don't think if a guy loves you he won't care about your feelings, he does care, but I think guys (not all) live by "what they don't know won't hurt 'em". It's sad. Even when I have thought I had complete trust little things have entered my mind. Little doubts. It is VERY hard to truly trust someone.
The only time I don't trust them is when they lie. I trust more men than I do females. Females (some) tend to be lying manipulators. Or the majority in which I have met. Men don't really lie about anything. Many females will say "I don't trust him" for stupid reasons. If he cheated or lied I could understand. But you get a lot of females who don't trust a man because of the simple fact that he doesn't want to be her boyfriend, but have casual sex instead. I have heard many, many women say that men are untrustworthy or undeserving because of this and to be honest with you, I think its all a load of shit. Call me crazy but I would trust a man who wanted to fuck me and was honest about it rather than a man whom claims to like you but never really did and cheats 24/7. Don't cheat, don't lie and I will trust you.
It's hard to differentiate between "boys" and men.
I don't trust anyone to be honest.I won't be one to boohoo over some guys cheating on me or doing something behind my back and the same can be said about girls for me.I can trust,but I only trust so much,I hold my own,I don't rely on anyone.I won't poor "emotions" out on anyone,but I can trust guy friends more than girls,because girls are fake ass bitches.
It's 2010,to trust a guy or girl is setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Because so often they lie about being single when they're married. With a child. And many of them lie and say they love you when they just want you for sex. In short, they lie and cheat. To be fair, women do it, too. But I guess I find that somehow men get away with it more.
I know all of this from experience. The good guys-if they exist-are hard to find. A lot of men do the others a disservice by treating women so terribly that those women learn to guard their hearts and not trust a man's intentions.
So, memo to guys: stop being d-bags and treat women with respect. Stop cheating and hurting us. We are not your trash bags. We want to be loved and valued. If you keep disrespecting us, nobody will want to be with you. Do you want to die alone?
The reason we don't trust guys or men is because boys who we thought we're men broke our hearts. As women we love hard when we love and some boy comes along and crush our hearts. Crush the heart one to many times we become mistrusting every male in the human species.
If you are looking for a woman, the majority would have suffered some kind of heartbreak. You will have to work to get her to trust you. Heck sometimes it takes years.
When a girl's heart is first broken, It takes a long time to recover. She will always remember that time, but still try to move on. Once her heart is crushed a few more times, she may give up on trusting and it could be like torture trying to get her to open up. This "no trust" thing is pretty much for defense from getting another painfully broken heart.
Also, because of how screwed up the world is, girls are taught to be EXTREMELY cautious.
Because all of our exeriences stay in our mind. I try to take something from every relationship in the hopes that if I fix the problems others had with me I would be the perfect girlfriend. What did my quest for perfection get me? A cheating husband who divorced me, and an abusive narcissist who played sweet an respectful (a guy as you would call it) until we got pregnant. Then it was physical, mental and emotional abuse. Degrading me for my looks after pregnancy. Reminding me that he wouldn't want to marry me now that i was this or that.
Sadly now i have a good guy, and i trust him, I really do, but i can't open up to him emotionally. I can't take being hurt again. So in a sense i dont trust him with my heart and with me. I just trust him as a person which feels more like a friendship 😞
Because they are all usually jerks. I mean take the guys from Jersey Shore for example, most of them are all in their early-mid 20's and their all assholes! Guys/boys whatever don't grow up until their in their late 20's- early 30's and even sometimes that's pushing it.
Well with me "trust", is something people earn, I don't give it away like that. People are the same, boys, adults I mean you do get immature, jerk adults too. But you can't really trust a guy more than you can trust your best friend, from a girls perspective.
U can't immature adults but young boys are worse though.
I've been raped, and I had enough of seeing so many men in my family cheat on the women in my family, including my own father. That bastard was murdered when I was 6 years old by one of his jealous friends because he had a buncha money and a big house. I dont want to be with a man where I run the risk of catching an STD from because he can't keep his dick in his pants, and/or he leaves me to raise our children on my own while he runs the streets sleeping around with other women. Fuck that. I'm happy alone. Its better to be alone than to keep bad company. I dont want to be alone, and I love men, and I want to trust men, but the shit that they do, I just cannot bring myself to trust them. Putting my trust in them is like playing Russian roulette with my time, heart and body, because he may be wasting my time, might bring home an STD, and break my heart. I'm happy alone and disease free thank you very much.
These are some really difficult experiences to have. Sorry for your experiences because they will def. shape you. Maybe you should consider a hotline to deal with some of this trauma. I can definitely understand your feelings and feel this way too a lot actually. But good luck with everything.
How do you expect someone to automatically know the difference between who is a boy and who is a good guy? Don't forget that many of you lie and fake to gain our trust. Besides trust isn't given, its earned. if I know little about you except for the fact you're attracted to me and want sex, I'd be an idiot to trust you right off the bat.
i don't really trust boy/guy because most of them are all a sweet talker.today, they will say that they love you and the next day,they will chase the other girl.
we're not all like that =/
a good guy will come along
or if you want I could prove to you that not all guys are the same by chatting on here?
chatting on here?
It won't be the same as a guy coming up to you because this is the internet but I'm sure it will help nonetheless
well I mean just get the sense that he's a player or won't stay for long or is just there for some sex I mean it's pretty noticeable if he's spitting game and is a bit shady and hides his past then that's one clue he's not a good guy
Sometimes it stems from childhood and being bullied by others especially if its other guys. Its hard to just let go and trust men after dealing w/ past issues in your life.
Men have to gain trust from those who's trust have been broken by others.
Coz I've been played so many times. I fell I love only to be dumped by text after a year of dating.
Guys who: Treated me like sh*t, were abusive, lead me on and then left me high and dry, with no answers.
Because it is SO easy for a guy to cheat on a girl... I mean seriously. Guys are lead by there you-know-what, but girls are emotion driven. Girls find it hard to trust because of this.
Women don't rust men for reasons like:
1) they've been lied to by exboyfriends
2) Exboyfriends took advantage of them, so they think every man on Earth will do it too.
If you want someone to trust you, here's what you do:
1) don't lie to them, women hate liers, womanizers, abusive men, & men who are control freaks.
2) Women love one woman men, don't talk about other women from your past to the woman you're with in the present.
Normal girls trust guys, ones with self esteem and personality problems don't. Sorry, but the only type of girls with trust issues are ones who don't trust themselves!
I don't think it's 100% true. girls with self esteem actually trust people a lot.
Girls who've never been in a relationship with another guy before trust guys.
I've noticed most of the time, women who've trusted men who've hurt them are the ones with relationship issues like trust.
Lol you're retarded. It has nothing to do with the girl being insecure and having esteem issues. I am the most confident, high self esteem girl you can meet, it's just that the men I was with would give me reasons to be so-called "insecure" and not trust them, like outright flirt with other women in front of me, break his neck to stare at other women for a super long time to the point he would forget I was even there, still talking about how much he loved his ex girlfriend and one day he called her and told her he loved her right in front of me. There are very confident women who love themselves and don't trust men. Its just that men give women reasons to not trust them, its not always because the "girl is insecure", you dumbass. You sound like a dude saying that dumb shit, as guys always use that "you're just insecure" bullshit to cop out from the fact that they have been giving you reasons to not trust them.
We don't wanna get hurt. Simple as that. Its not easy to tell the diffrenece sometimes because a lot of the "boys" out there are good actors. Especially for really naive girls with self esteem issues.
Hey some reasons that girls don't trust some guys may be because they have had a bad relationship beforehand e.g. Been cheated on or been dumped for no apparent reason. This leaves them with the impression that all guys are like this . So when they begin a new relationship it may take a while before they can learn to trust that guy because they don't want to be let down agen. Hope that helped =)
I don't trust anyone, most of all guys.
I have yet to find a decent dude.
I don't trust most guys because they always lead me on.
it doesn't matter if their a guy or boy they are all assholes
:(
We're not all assholes
well I'm srry but its true
No its not.
I'm good guy
because I've trusted guys before only to get hurt in the process
=/ well we're not all the same!
i don't trust people period..
Based on what to trust them?
You answered it already. Lies
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions