How long should I wait for him to call back? please help

Question

I met up with a guy for our second date, we spent the night together, I know that was probably too soon but it felt so right and he was so lovely. The next day it wasn’t awkward and we were hand in hand the whole morning till I went home and he went off to work. this was on a Monday he told me to text him when I got home and I did, he didn’t reply though, but he called me on Wednesday from work and said he would call when he got home, but he didn’t and I haven’t heard from him since its been a week and a half now. I called him on Saturday but he didn’t pick up and its Thursday today and he hasn’t returned my call. please help what do I do, my gut is saying not to call him till he calls back, but when he does do I play it cool or should I confront him about  why he hasn’t called? I don’t want to seem to needy, should I give him time as its still early days or am I being used?

rudyhuxt · Accepted Answer

I would never call/text him again.  You have to chalk this up to a lesson learned.  It was too soon.  Men will hold your hand, kiss your feet and anything else to keep things peaceful and to not look like a complete jerk until you leave the next morning.  Unfortunately, you already contacted him after the night you spent together but I wouldve suggested not to contact him at all after that night until he contacted you.  Believe me, men have such big egos that he wouldve wondered why you weren't calling him and if you didn't think it was any good.  Now if you do that it is 50/50 that he would care that you don't call anymore cause he already knows that you were still interested after that night.  Don't call him again.  Men pursue women.  Chalk it up to lesson learned.  If he calls you, talk to him like he is just a friend and do not bring up that he didn't call you.  If he wants to see you again you keep your feet on the ground this time and see if he calls you back to go out again after that.  You do not want him to think that every few weeks he feels like calling and going out with you that you are a sure thing to spend the night with him.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i slept with my boyfriend the first night we met. and I thought it was just going to be a one nighter. But it definately wasnt. I don't know if its because he liked the sex, or me, or possibly both. but he's stuck around for 4 months now. I know people have already gave advice, which was good advice. so I'm not going to give advice, I'm just going to give you hope that not all guys are assholes. some do call back even after giving it up easy. I mean, that sounds terrible, but not all guys just go after sex. I have a bad way with words so I don't think this is really coming out the way I would have liked it to. so sorry if I sound like an idiot. aha. I guess basically I'm just trying to tell you to not worry about it. if it was itching you the wrong way, just put some ointment on so it doesn't bother you, because itll go away.  hahaha bad analogy. lol OK I'm done sounding like an idiot now. ha ha but don't feel bad if you do. :)

tahde · Accepted Answer

I think you shouldn't be waiting still for him to call back if he does then he does and play it cool seeing that you two aren't in a relationship and the way he's seeing it most likely is that he doesn't have to "answer" to you. Not judging but sleeping with him on the second date may not have been the best idea. It seems like you really like him but don't wear your heart on your sleeve just yet its waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too early and he's still forming his opinions of you, you don't want him thinking you're needy and easy. Word of advice don't sleep with him again you don't want him thinking you're a "booty call" unless you two are together and more stable and you see it fit.

P.S.

That "so babe if I don't call you you won't call me" line is some reverse psychology mack sh*t don't fall for it play it cool he's well aware that he was supposed to call you back don't be his "back pocket girl."

ebrady5 · Accepted Answer

Wow, sounds to me that he may just not be that interested. I know if I'm interested in a girl, I will call her when I say I will, and I certainly won't ignore her calls and texts, (although I will wait a little while, like 30 min to a few hours sometimes to be mysterious and get her thinking about me). If I were you, and its been sh*t, almost 2 weeks since he last initiated any contact, and you have tried to contact him, move on sweetheart. This guy isn't worth your time or energy. Its just common courtesy to at least return someones calls/texts, and he's not even giving you that. If he doesn't give you the respect you deserve now, what would it be like if you actually did get involved with him? You may have dodged a bullet, and this may be a blessing in disguise. Hopefully not, maybe something happend and he lost his phone or something and he will get ahold of you and explain himself. If he does, don't act like it bothers you(its too early to care, yall aren't exclusive or bf/gf, just a couple dates right?), let him explain himself. But you should just stop calling/texting him, and he will get ahold of you if/when he wants to. good luck.

eupremier · Accepted Answer

If he likes you enough, he'll contact you.

Start working out, keeping fit and make sure you look good whenever you might meet him.

Finally, for this guy and for all guys from now on... don't sleep with them until you've had 5 or more solid dates. If you give it up too soon he'll lose interest immediately.

Best of luck...

Guacamole · Answer

You slept with him on the second date (not a judgement, mind you, just a fact) and you have been trying to get back in touch with him to no avail. You obviously have a larger - maybe much larger - emotional investment here than he does.

Continuing to puruse him will only make you seem desparate in his eyes. I would literally forget he exists. If he wants to get in touch with you, he has your number. In the meantime, go out and fnd someone who places a higher value on you than this guy does.

Arwens-Fire · Answer

Sounds like he may be trying to play you. That whole not picking up the phone,or contacting you when he says he will...oh please. Play this super cool and don't become to attached to this guy.When two people are truly interested in each other it shouldn't be difficult.

gphibabe · Answer

Totally play it cool. You need to seem like you've been living your life and not even thinking about him. If he doesn't call back for awhile, when he finally does you should answer the phone like "Oh hey! Sorry can't hang out I have other plans!" Blow him off but be friendly. You're basically saying I don't care that we haven't talked but you'll have to do better than that to see me!

clyde7777 · Answer

Wait for him to call. He knows your there and he has your number. Just play it cool when you talk to him. Y'all are not in a relationship so he is not really obligated to call. But honestly it kinda seems like he may not be that into you. I don't think you are being used either. You two both had consequential sex on an occasion.  If he only calls for sex and you give it to him then you would be being used.

star709 · Answer

if he hasn't called you in 2 weeks why didn't you just call him? why are you sitting there waiting for a miracle to happen? you shouldn't always expect someone to call you even if they say they will call you first. I mean I guess its like you don't even care for him if you guys haven't talked in 2 weeks.

AND I'm pretty sure he has your number..

Anonymous · Answer

Don't pursue him. If he ever calls back, definitely do not ask him. Never ask a guy why he didn't call, he'll just get defensive and annoyed. Never talk to him again unless he contacts you, and truthfully he probably already got what he wanted out of you. If you sleep with a guy too quickly the chances of it turning into more are very very small to none. Sorry.

archer87 · Answer

Forget about him.  I've been in the same exact position.  He's playing with you.  If he decide to come around, then great, but don't put much stock into his actions or words.  Move on.

l0502 · Answer

Repeat after me -" he's just not that interested in me." ...now move on and find a guy that doesn't just want to get you into bed.

italy751 · Answer

he doesn't care. move on. i know it sucks- and you seem really nice- but obviously he just did a successful hit and quit

katiesmuff · Answer

Are things improving with this guy?  Few more dates etc.

Confused_123 · Answer

I would text him and say something casually and see if he will respond.  Say something like, "I haven't heard from you.  Hope all is well on your end."  See if he responds to that.  If not, you pretty much have your answer.

punkiscrunk · Answer

u are badly used by that man. Don't call him until he calls. You will seem needy and he will use you when he needs to get laid. I'm a guy so I can tell that. Please answer mine...

Anonymous · Answer

I'm currently in the same situation like yourself...Curious to know how things are going between the two of you..I hope its a happy ever after.

Dominika · Answer

Please provide us with an update ;)

alex_the_fox · Answer

Couple of days is my the best.

TheCheshireCat · Answer

2 days

Tphilly187 · Answer

call him jks

How long should I wait for him to call back? please help

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said