I feel like a lot of the time, when I’m trying to make conversation with a girl most of the time they can’t carry on a the conversation so I take that as a hint there not interested, but a lot of the time I will find out threw a friend they thought I was very cute and they were interested.. like why do we always have to play mind games about this stuff?
Women can act disinterested for many reasons.
Common Reasons Include:
- Afraid of rejection
- Wants to focus on her career/education
- Want's to weight out sincerity
- Don't want to get hurt / led on
- They enjoy "the chase"
If I act disinterested in a guy I like, it's may be because I am nervous or unsure if he likes me and don't want to make the situation awkward if it's not mutual. However, in almost every situation that I have acted uninterested in is when I was trying to focus on life outside of dating and didn't want to get hurt or caught up in a guy.
Regarding your question:
You stated "when I’m trying to make conversation with a girl most of the time they can’t carry on a the conversation so I take that as a hint there not interested." I don't think this is a women pretending to be disinterested all the time. With technology, most people literally just don't know how to hold a conversation. We are so used to be being "connected" online, that we forget to disconnect and have an actual human interact. This has led to increased anxiety and nervousness. The girl (s) could just be really nervous and trying not to say something stupid.
It’s not a mind game (most of the time). Girls can be just as clueless and dumb as boys. You’re not the only ones with social problems 😂
Also, a lot of times girls will choose to keep their excitement to themselves for the sake of not overdoing it.
People in general just lack balance, that’s all.
You brought up asking girls a million questions and it feels like an interview - I feel the same way. I don't ever understand it, 1 word responses, no ability to flip the question and ask me the same exact question, no ability to respond to my questions in any level of detail. Very confusing, very frustrating, I don't wanna be negative about it but a simple conversation can be irritating even if I don't like the girl. Basic conversation skills for some of them are nonexistent. When girls do this, on top of possibly ignoring me, I assume they hate me for some unbeknownst reason to me. I've asked others about it, some think its a respect thing, some think its a "girls are just shy" thing, some think they're in the belief I'm hitting on them when I'm not, i can't tell. Certainly not a problem I have with dudes.
Girls sneer at guys for being afraid to approach them and take a shot but they themselves are terrified of rejection. Therefore girls opt for "plausible deniability". That way they can deny they were ever interested if he isn't or is only interested for quick sex/one night stand. Therefore the signals they send are really vague. Also you can blame Rom-Coms which they seem to think are documentaries. Most Rom-Coms have women rejecting men until he wins them over. They internalize this and think they have to be aloof and hard to get. They are wrong of course-bitchy is bitchy and not attractive
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Those girls are just fucking immature. I don't do that shit.
Maybe they are not good at having a conversation. There are many people who can't hold a conversation properly, I know people who can't hold a conversation with anyone even if they are interested to meet that person. It's like a curse. Poor people.
I don't know, if I like a lot a person I try not to answer immidiately just to avoid looking desperate but I would always answer back or start conversation. I just can think those girls are either bad at social skills or either afraid of starting a relationship/hookup/whatever.
All girls are different, I am speaking from experience. I knew 2 girls that liked me who had very similar personalities.
Girl #1 could hold eye contact with me until I looked away, but would have trouble keeping the conversation going if nobody else was there or if I didn't take charge.
Girl #2 is able to keep a conversation going for hours on end without and trouble at all. If you see where I'm going with this, she would get nervous and look away if I made hard eye contact with her.
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Here's my point... Some girls can't keep a conversation going, but it doesn't mean they're not interested. I don't know your situation, but there may be other ways that she is showing she is interested. That or she just actually isn't interested.
And some girls will stray from eye contact if they're interested, but at the same time some won't. For me to be able to tell you if a girl was interested in you, I'd need to know the girl on a personal level
I think some girls do act like they are not interested, but that is only during the very beginning, when she does not know whether the guy likes her or not. It is a kind of defence mechanism, because if girl goes around and tell all the guys she like that she likes him, then it is ultimately going to attract unwanted attention. So she acts uninterested, and let the guys who are interested to approach her, and from these guys who approach her, she selects the guy that she is most interested.
However, by the time the guy has shown interest, the girl will generally show back sign of interests to the guy if she is genuinely interested in him.
For me it’s about rejection. Many times in the past I have shown interest in a guy & he’s made me think he feels the same but then he rejects me. I’ve had guys tell me that me showing interest too soon put them off me. So now I feel like I can’t show that I’m too keen because I worry it’s going to make a guy not like me so much! Some guys like to have a bit of a chase & some girls like to be chased a bit I guess.
I mean if they’re making it hard to have a conversation that sucks move on. But as a girl I will say I tend to air on the side of cautious when dating. Its all from insecurity. When dating I have had more success when a guy chases me than when I try to go for a guy. Cause of that I like to analyze and have an idea that the guy likes me before I start coming out of my shell and going for it. It’s usually not on purpose. I’ve also had guys do it to me.
Some women like to play games. Others may do it just for the thrill of being "chased"
As for myself, I just avoid the guy I like all together. I've never been good at flirting or expressing to a guy my feelings for him. It's easier for me to just shut him out.
For me it’s the fear of rejection. For quite a while I had a feeling the guy I like didn’t like me back (even though I had proof that he most likely did) so I made sure not to make it obvious that I like him. Eventually we just talked about it and we’re together now so I guess it all worked out in the end. There are many other reasons though. She could be shy or she genuinely may not be able to hold conversations well.
What? If I'm interested in a guy I'm very obvious about it. If I'm not, well, I'm sure you get the idea. I have no idea where you'd get this from.
The closest thing I could think of that I used to do similar to this is ignore the guy completely. This was like back when I was in my teens and tweens. I was extremely ridiculously shy and afraid to let him know at all. I was afraid to let anyone know. I just totally hid it away.
I know he likes me and I like him too but I act like I’m not interested... why? Because I’m shy... also, if a girl likes you she won’t be as playful around you as she is around other guys because she doesn’t really care what the other guys think about her but she cares about your opinion on her
Childish immaturity and entitled insolence, pushed by hundreds of years of Christian chivalry and modern feminist dogma, have created chicks that are simultaneously afraid of opening up to guys they're attracted to, and yet want the guys to "prove" themselves to them.
Gross.
Its a shy thing and crush, and me i like to be extremely sure and very sure that he is really into me than me making a fool of myself and saying the wrong thing to the guy who is showing some interest in me. Nothing personal really, just testing the guy to see if there's a connection between us or not or just friendship only or nothing at all. My own opinion, no one needs to agree with me.
Because they don't want to act over eager... A lot of times the more attractive you are also, the more they hold back because they don't want to feed your ego. There's nothing worse than a girl who wants to explode in laughter that is trying her hardest to hold it in just to not give in...
When I like someone I always try and look at him as much as I can but if he catches me staring i get really nervous because he just like spotted me staring so I’m really careful and try not to make him notice. What if he thinks I’m weird? I guess maybe that is what happens
I don’t make eye contact if he is going to strong by literally staring at my face for a long period of time. I wouldn’t make eye contact because I would think that’s Creepy and if he was serious I would let him talk to me. People tell me I’m kinda intimidating and have a strong presence so I get why people are scared to approach
Girls willing to admit it or not are much more fragile than a man and they don't want to show any sign of weakness so that would be why they act that way how guys if you're smart he'll pick up on that and you'll maneuver it to your benefit you'll make her feel comfortable she will open up she will tell you remember everything with tact and respect
Some girls like to play hard to get because sometimes when you show a guy you're interested everytime you are, they might take you either for desperate or think you're easy. Its not always playing mind games.
I think that's because they don't know if you like them back, so they don't want to risk the embarrassment of rejection. Then there are some of us who are introverts / avoidant social / just completely blind to signals lol
It's a test. They're trying to get you to pursue them. If can't or won't, then you're not worthy of their interest.
Google this: shit-tests, shit testing, shit test
A lot of all these dynamics are explained here: www.therationalmale.com
I certainly don't try to come off disinterested, but I may come across that way because I am shy and also because I don't want to appear clingy or get my feelings hurt, so I am probably a bit cautious around guys that I am interested in. But I never feign disinterest, and I do take initiative when I think there's a good chance he is interested too.
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