Do some women initiate a break up to test if the man she was dating is actually good for her?

[3rdSrike]

I have been wondering about this for a while, after being in a few relationships myself and observing many otheres, most breakups are initiated by women, and honestly iam the kind of guy who has his dignity above all (but still respect others decisions), so if you broke up with me ( and it happened to me) i will wish you good luck and support your decision and do my best to move on, basically i dont try to get the girl back mainly caues I'll lose value as a man when i try to get her back when the break up wasn't my idea (if it was thats a different story).

With that being said I have read some articles and watched some videos and they all repeat the same things : when a woman breaks up with you she is testing you (sometimes she doesn't even realize and thinks she doesn't like you) to see what you're made of and when she sees you handled the break up well and kept your cool, and maintained high confidence and dignity and didn't obsses over getting her back, her respect and attraction for you will grow considerably.

Now iam a logical person, and to me when a woman initiates a break up its cause one of these three reasons :
1- She never felt any love towards him and doesn't see herself being with him long term.
2- She found someone better before she could get emotionally attached to the guy.
3- he was abusive/loser/has no ambitions and basically a bad deal all together.

your thoughts and ideas? can you remeber when you broke up with a guy what went through your mind and how true is this statement everyone keeps repeating about the break up being a test to see how the guy handles it (even if she doesn't realize that she is actually testing him ) .

And a bonus question : Do women ever try going back to a guy they broke up with?

[Spawnface]

People innately fear change. Especially the fear of change to success. People who have undergone enough hardship will try to maintain their life of hardship. As they are dependant on those hardships to establish their own identity. Those same identities come into conflict with other identities associated with success. Most which are psychological. In many scenarios to embrace positive change is to abandon negative dependance, a girl will choose an abusive boyfriend over the prospect of a better life as her own self worth has been devalued to allow the existence of the negative elements. Those negative elements can take form of familial, society, religious and other types. A hesitant change for something good means that what is good is in conflict with a dependancy of something negative. A girl will break up a good relationship because it is good and because that goodness shows proximity to undesirable changes.

[Anonymous]

I have been tested that way. But it isn't always testing. You are missing an option of 3 possible scenarios. A very common one that is overlooked. The possibility the woman once loved the man, but in time her feelings changed. Men have this idea that once there is love, it is forever. It isn't true. The reason being both men and women confuse lust for love. Once the infatuation phase ends, a person is left with either love or nothing. Men usually are stuck in the infatuation phase far longer than women. So often the woman is the first one to have to tackle this obstacle. Usually they wait to see if the feelings return. In the meantime they begin emotionally distancing in preparation for the possible end. Then one day she realizes it is going no where and that she is the one that has to end it. So she does. And appears to move on quickly, when in fact she began the process while they were still together.

[3rdSrike]

That indeed is a possibility, i mean sure sometimes you fall out of love but only if you have a strong reason to, such as n abusive partner or someone who was so good then at some point turned lazy, doesn't care about looking good or improving and basically that interesting person you once loved just doesn't care anymore and you day by day lose your reason for loving them.
as for infatuation, indeed it does happen, and i've read about it, the qeustion is how ong does infatuation actually affects us, some say if you have "loved" someone for more than 4 months its love and not just a crush, yet infatuation lasts for 2 years as far as phsycologists are considered, i guess my question was more directed at relationships where the guy is pretty good all over and physically she is attracted but at some point decides " i dont want this" .

[Opinion Owner]

The infatuation phase spell can be broken much sooner than 2 years. Usually for the worst. And it doesn't have to be due to abuse or anything.. it can be as simple as recognizing there is in an incompatibility. Think of it as being buzzed, and something scary happens that instantly sobers you up. This happens in relationships. And it may not even make logical sense to a man. I knew a woman that had the spell broken one day when she went to the bathroom and the toilet paper roll was empty. It sent her down a path of over-analyzing how selfish/selfless the guy was. She started seeing him as being inconsiderate and selfish. She held off for months hoping it would smooth out, but she just resented his selfishness more and more. She was "out of love" with him a long time before she decided to end it. She thought she loved him. That changed. and it seems insignificant why. But it made sense to her. No matter what the case, it was over between them, whether he liked it or not.

[Lance1965]

Unless an realtionship is just really bad most women break up with guys because they have found themselves someone else. A lot of women will stick with a guy for a long time but on the side will look for someone else. Once they find that person, they cheat, bail or do both. A lot of men in relationships are living on borrowed time but they don't realize it.

[3rdSrike]

Yeah, thats one of the drawbacks of dating women, you have to make them fall in love and show potential, you have to show them you are a serious guy who cares about looking good, work, school and her at the same time, its not easy and its rather tiring sometimes but its doable... of course luckily for us not all women like that and some won't leave you if a better guy shows up (Whats better anyways if you already are a great guy) i am looking for those women.

[Lance1965]

Yup and sometimes your best is still not good enough for some women. A lot of women love the idea of an upgrade and if they can find it you are done even though you have done nothing wrong. Guys do it too but because women can find partners easier than men it is more common among females.