Why do (some) women love nagging at their boyfriend?

[Unit1]

Women! I love them.
But what I don't love about them is how some of them keep nagging to their boyfriend despite their boyfriend telling them the final answer to whatever it is, that they are nagging at him.
Nagging KILLS us slowlyyy!
It isn't so lethal as it may seem but it causes us great unrest to us and we are already stressing from work and life and (the lack of) finances.

So why do (some) women LOVE nagging at us? They may claim to love us but it's the same thing, that damages us. It's almost like that's the way (some) women recharge their vigor.

[VIVANT]

I’m really not clear on what nagging is supposed to represent. Some people seem to think discyssingsonethjjg is nagging. Like if you don’t just bow down to a person and remain mute, you are nagging.

Others think t is a fine if voice.

Others see it as someone holding someone accountable for something.

Others see someone trying to understand something says, as nagging.

I think there are so many interpretations and since women get accused of t- probably coming from a time when they were not expected to voice opinions- anytime a guy is annoyed she can say she’s nagging immediately gets support. But no one ash’s what it actually refers to.

I think in relationships where communication is open and respect is mutual.. nagging whatever the interpretation, whatever kind, for whatever reason, from whichever gender, would likely be kept to a minimum.

Interestingly complaints of nagging overwhelmingly come from friends men from women and children from parents.

[VIVANT]

From
men complaining about women
And
children complaining about parents

[Unit1]

Nagging, in interpersonal communication, is repetitious behaviour in the form of pestering, hectoring, or otherwise continuously urging an individual to complete previously discussed requests or act on advice despite said individual formerly declining their request.

In any case, i hate hate hate nagging! ugh!

[VIVANT]

Lol I’m aware of the definition I was referring to its dubious usage 😎😁😊

[VIVANT]

I mean appropriating the word to inappropriate circumstance

Naggjbg real naggjbg is very annoying, certainly

But I’m often skeptical that the complaints ABOUT nagging, properly fit the definition OF nagging

[Unit1]

Oh, OK :)

[VIVANT]

Lolol I don't know if you gave me this on purpose or if it was computer generated , but just in case, thank you 😌

[Unit1]

That was me 🤗

If you see a star in the notification area where your opinion was selected as most helpful, then it was auto picked.

[VIVANT]

Ohh thanks for the info and the hand pick 🦋🦋🦋

[Unit1]

🤗🙂 🤗

[Tyliah]

Great stress reliever

[Unit1]

Ugh... I figured.

[Anonymous]

Women and men communicate differently. When a woman decides she wants you to do something she "informs" you. But if it doesn't get done as soon as she wants then she "informs" you again. She is trying to communicate that this thing (whatever it is) is something she considers it important to get done. In her mind she is not "Nagging" but "reminding" you because she wants you to get that this is important to her. As guys, however, we interpret this as nagging and bossiness and it tends to have to opposite effect since we don't want to feel "pussywhipped" or appear that way to our friends. That's why nagging is counterproductive and ignoring nagging is also counterproductive. Ignore it long enough and she will escalate to another way females communicate their displeasure-- the sex boycott

[Unit1]

What if whatever it is that she is nagging about is not possible to be done?

[Opinion Owner]

if she's nagging about it then she thinks it is your fault. Whether it is possible is irrelevant-its whether SHE THINKS its possible. Not rational I know but its about how she feels.

[Unit1]

Ew, that's Disgusting!

[Opinion Owner]

yep. Its also a trait (nagging) they exhibit more and more as they feel more secure in the relationship. The ironic thing about women is that they will try like hell to pussywhip a guy-they cannot help themselves-but if they succeed in doing so they will have no respect for him and that's bad for the "relationship". Solution is to man up-call her out on her bullshit and give only when its reasonable

[Unit1]

I am aware. Stand your ground kind of thing.

[cheer4life_xo]

I stopped having sex with my ex because he kept being a slob and I would tell him that. Also I’m not your mother so he’d get mad and I’d “nag” ... I stopped having sex not on purpose it was a turn off. Eventually I just left

[Juxtapose]

I ditch women who nag at me. If she's not more satisfying than my solitude, she's useless to me.

[Unit1]

Good man! I am the same!

[ChronicThinker]

I don't love nagging, it's just if I don't, y'all won't get shit done, then you get mad that I'm mad that you didn't do what you were supposed to do. I'm an asshole either way.

[mrbobz]

Yet to work this one out

Her: "why did you do that?"
me: "Because it would take too long so i did it like this"
Her: "right well we discussed not dong it like that, but you did it like that"
me: "yeah i did, sorry, i won't do it again"
Her: "but you understand that we decided to do it that way for xyz reasons right?"
me: "yeah i do"
Her: "So i dont really get why you didn't do it, its the best thing for everyone if you do it this way"
me: "okay"
Her: "we do it because... you agreed with me about it too"
"me "..."
"well? "
me : "i dont know what do you want me to say, whats the correct answer"
Her: "I want you to understand why it is you have to do it this way"
me : "I do, i was wrong, you are right"
Her: "why are you getting annoyed with me?"

Typical discussion for me

[dmgstarfleet]

so damn true!

[DianeScarcelli]

I never nag. My mother never nagged my father. My husband adores me and I always say positive things to him. I feel that nagging is a learned behavior passed down for generations. Nagging will harm a relationship, and women and men too need to make a conscious effort not to do that. Just bite your tongue and walk away.

[Unit1]

You are the MVP!

[Ellie-V]

Some men act like little children and bring out the motherly side of their female partners
And then some women are too indoctrinated in the mom mentality that they seek out a weird power dynamic in their male partners by only seeing the childishness in that person, even though 9/10 it’s nonexistent.

People in general are just crazy 😜

[StickStickity13]

Nagging is a child like behavior

[Ellie-V]

@StickStickity13 I disagree but okay

[daydreammarie]

What you consider nagging to be could be many things. Just listen to her and maybe she will stop or find a girl who doesn't nag

[Unit1]

What if whatever it is that she is nagging about is not possible to be done?

[brittslitt]

He doesn't listen at all. so I hope he plans to spend the next 24 years alone lol

[Unit1]

@brittslitt You are toxic! Nobody will miss out on anything by avoiding you.

[daydreammarie]

Then come up with a compromise. And use communication.

[Exterminatore]

Or maybe she can understand the meaning of the word no instead?

[daydreammarie]

True. But sometimes people need more than just a no. And that is where communication comes in. People need to talk to each other and state things as they are

[Exterminatore]

I usually start with no. If it continues my next sentence is: “the door is over there darlin.”

That’s just the problem with nagging. Message was received. Response was no. Any further communication I see as an attempt to manipulate.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

I think its because the guy is likely inadvertently messing up and not listening to her and changing what needs to be changed.

[Unit1]

What if whatever it is that she is nagging about is not possible to be done?

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Then it cannot be done. Can you give an example of such a thing that has happened to you?

[Unit1]

Not exactly impossible but i will give you other examples.

My mother has a tendency to nag at me.
She says do this but i don't want to do it. I told her NEIN. She keeps requesting.
It's about insignificant stuff like when I'm lying at the couch at noon, that i should get a blanket. Or when it's hot in summer that i should strip myself half naked when I'm not comfortable doing that.

And the thing is that i have told her beforehand, that these are my preferences.

[Unit1]

About impossible things include like for example building a new house fast.
About incompatibility things include her pestering "WHEN WILL YOU MARRY ME?" And "I WANT CHILDREN!".

[TsubasaCorrupted]

For the fkrdy example, reach a middle ground. Go for some short and a light t shirt.

Neither of those are impossible, nor unreasonable to me. If I'm with someone and they ask that of me, I can at least answer them of it.

[Unit1]

I had no choice at that time. I didn't have any other clothing. I'm broke.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Blankets perhaps? But I don't know honestly

[Unit1]

It's just, that no means no. She never gets it once and for all.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

That is part of the issue. Just because you don't want to do something, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Taking essentially pointless stands, disregarding their beliefs or ideas or just messing up without listening and adjusting, is the cause of a lot of nagging. That is the nagees fault, not the naggers. I can understand pointless nagging being an issue, but this is not one of those.

[Unit1]

Those aren't pointless. I am standing up for my own comfort 🙄

[TsubasaCorrupted]

It is pointless. Being a normal functioning human being is about compromise, doing things you don't want to do and being adaptable.

It's one thing to state when you prefer something for your comfort. It's another to complain about nagging when you are the cause of said nagging and do nothing positive to remedy it.

[Unit1]

Nein.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

As I said, that's the issue. You can't stand on a highway and complain when you get hit.
Good day

[Unit1]

Comparing serious highways accidents to trivial reasons to nag a man to stress him out. Simply Pitiful.

[GGasks]

Im a little confused, in what instance would you say no that a woman would keep nagging at? I just need an example

[Unit1]

My mother has a tendency to nag at me.
She says do this but i don't want to do it. I told her NEIN. She keeps requesting.
It's about insignificant stuff like when I'm lying at the couch at noon, that i should get a blanket. Or when it's hot in summer that i should strip myself half naked when I'm not comfortable doing that.

And the thing is that i have told her beforehand, that these are my preferences.

About impossible things include like for example building a new house fast.
About incompatibility things include her pestering "WHEN WILL YOU MARRY ME?" And "I WANT CHILDREN!".

[GGasks]

Well your mother is kind of a different story I’m afraid, I was thinking more in the romantic relationship aspect. As far as the marriage and children argument one or both of you need help in communication skills to really absolve the issue. You answered no to these things, a definitive no should always be respected from anyone but I wonder if the situation could be put to an end by explaining your reasoning behind your no? Women in serious relationships that demand those things tend to be adults and would simply like to know you’re reasoning so she can decide where to go from there. Continue to get to know you or move on and find another relationship with someone who has the same end goal, unfortunately if you have trouble communicating with that particular woman and she has trouble speaking in such a way that you can understand and actively participate in the discussion then you’ve been engaging in toxic relationships until now

[Unit1]

Asking for an explanation is not nagging. However pestering about previously declined things is.

[GGasks]

Maybe I’m still not getting it, pestering how?

[Unit1]

Her: Do this!
Me: No. I can't.
Her: Why not?
Me: Explains briefly
...
Her: Do this
Me: I told you no before.
...
Her: Do this
Me: ...
...
Her: Do this
...

[GGasks]

I was hoping for something a little bit more specific please

[Unit1]

Well I gave you some examples but they were not relationship specific. I've had only one girlfriend and while she didn't nag, she would do without me.

There is a stereotype out there, that women might not like how busy their man always is and is occupied with work and studies and comes home just to eat, shower and sleep. Maybe 30-60 minutes of watching TV at most for example.
Their nagging about how they're always so busy or unavailable isn't going to change that. If anything it adds more stress and tires us men.

[Anonymous]

Because women like control. They want things to be the way they want. They want to change their man. If she's not happy, she's will take everything she can from you.

[Unit1]

Scheiße! That's horrible!

[fpmsn]

Because they are bitches and you should treat them like that. But not every woman are... put your middle finger to those bitches and go find a soft woman that loves you

[Christinalebacq]

There's a difference between 'nagging' and just simply reminding Men of things we have told over and over again. I understand that we as women DO nag often but some men do just take what you're saying as nagging right away before thinking 'hmmm is she giving me tough love? Is she encouraging me? Is she just reminding me?'

[bamesjond0069]

They nag because you're being a pussy and they want you to lead and be a man. Men never get nagged on. My ex told me to take out the trash and i said if i take the trash out you're going with it. Then we had amazing sex and she took the trash out without ever nagging again.

[1828avaava1828]

i dont nag. I ask nicely one time. If i have to ask a second, then im going to be cracking heads. legally of course. If my boyfriend makes me mad, I take it out on him in sparring at the gym

[Nivinxus]

I wasn't aware they like to nag, I thought they nag because they don't like something? I dunno, I'm not a woman.

[alice55]

I think they do it cause they find their boyfriend too lazy (or something similar). My mother always nag me and my father all the time for everything, it's really annoying.

[VIVANT]

What were things she nagged you about?

[alice55]

@VIVANT To dress better (stop wearing sweatpants all the time, but that was when I was in high school she don't do it anymore. I wear lots of skirts / dress now).
She also nag me to tied up my room and shoes. It generally stuff I need to do but I'm too lazy to do right now and then I forget about them so she nag me about it.

[VIVANT]

These are thjhgs you could do though

Well sure nagging is annoying but it’s usally caused by people not responding.. She repeated it bc you didn’t listen

What do you think woukd have been a better course of action for her to take

Is there any method of communication that would work better?

[alice55]

@VIVANT I know I'm in the wrong there but nagging is still annoying.
I would like her to remind me of it without screaming at me for it or being aggressive about it. Would be better if she reminded me of it and did it nicely rather than screaming at me or make it sound like I never do anything.

[VIVANT]

Sure I wasn’t attacking you... just genuinely interested in what you thought might be more helpful 😊

[alice55]

@VIVANT I didn't say the agressive stuff for you don't worry :)
Just that my mother get aggressive often when she nag me.

[VIVANT]

Got it 😊

[MlleCake]

No one likes being a nag. Listen the first time.

[Unit1]

Ugh. Some women really do.

[dmgstarfleet]

some women prattle on and on about minutia that some men developed a defense-during her soliloquies maje the occasional comment here and there to make her think you are listening. Works wonders in most cases. Listen close enough now and then to ask an intelligent question and that can seal the deal.

[brittslitt]

he's immature

[StickStickity13]

But if a man says to a woman "listen to what I say! The first time I say it!" that's controlling. Why is this behavior only acceptable in women?

[brittslitt]

@Stick she never said that. once again you dont listen

[StickStickity13]

@brittslitt I'm talking in general

[MlleCake]

@StickStickity13 that's not what we say.

[MlleCake]

And no woman has ever nagged me as much as some men have.

[StickStickity13]

Women are the ultimate naggers

[MlleCake]

@StickStickity13 maybe you just don't know how to treat a woman and her requests with respect. I've probably dated a lot more women than you and don't have this problem.

If your girlfriend's request is not reasonable, talk to her like a person. Don't make her nag you to take care of your home, children or life.

[StickStickity13]

I will listen, but if I don't want to do it then she needs to accept that. Constantly nagging won't accomplish anything. And once again it sounds controlling and demeaning, that men must listen and obey her for some reason.

[MlleCake]

@StickStickity13 who said you had to "obey"? If it's a bullshit request have the balls to say so.

If she's actually right, then quit being a dick about it.

It's not actually a challenge to your masculinity for you to be thoughtful.

[StickStickity13]

Who determines if she is right or wrong? That's subjective

[MlleCake]

@StickStickity13 both of you together, having a civil discussion, like adults.

[brittslitt]

he's so childish he will be alone all his life

[StickStickity13]

@brittslitt nagging is a woman's version of "mansplaining", it's demeaning and shows immaturity

[9teen]

Because men don't listen, so we repeat until they do!

[9teen]

Depends on the context.

[9teen]

I'm just surprised that none of you noticed the mockery in my sentence. I did not add an exclamation mark because I thought it's beautiful.

So fragile.

[ragequeen]

Funny that you mention in the beginning that you love women when your profile pic is a sex doll.

[Türkü]

Doesn't nagging, she wants to be understood. If it's silent then be afraid😂😂

[Unit1]

We have ears and eyes. You can communicate clearly once and that is enough. if we forget, then remind us. we are men. we are so simple.

[Türkü]

When we remind you "you're nagging" is happening

[Unit1]

Not with me i guess.

[TacosRAwesome]

Don't nag.. learn how to make itvseem like his idea and you don't want it.

[dmgstarfleet]

Southern girls are really good at that. Using charm instead of nagging. Its much more pleasant and even when you KNOW you're being manipulated you don't mind nearly as much

[TacosRAwesome]

@dmgstarfleet I need a pro to teach me that.

[Dondelino]

Because they have a weak male that puts up with it.

[Exterminatore]

Nagging is THE most annoying habit women have. Drives me crazy.