"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” Is this girl quote highly outdated?

[Anonymous]

For about a decade now, I've seen girls use this quote commonly when it comes to dating standards or getting to know them.

I was one of those guys that actually took this quote seriously when I approach girls. Commonly, when I approach girls or if girls approach me. They tend to seem like they have a mental issue such as being very moody, highly depressed, and wanted to complain to me all the time.

When I was frustrated on why girls were treating me this way, I always came back to this quote and though maybe if I put up with their crappy attitude for months then they will start treating me with their best behavior.

Eventually, I heard this term a lot "Rug-mat" on me when I was complaining about my problems around females.

I didn't understand at the time until lately when I started taking in some philosophies from red pill people.

When I stop giving my best to girls who wants to give me their worst. 10/10 times, They highly respect that and treated me like a better person. Which I kick them to the curb because I don't want to put up with that type of crazy mentality.

So should the quote be "If you can't handle my worst, then ill give you my best?" because the other way around the term seems like a person who wants to be a rug-mat for someone's problem.

Updates

+1 y

I didn't think this would get a lot of comments. There is too many to like.

[silvermoon84]

Marilyn had a troubled, misunderstood life so it might have been valid for her however, most of the time women who use it today (and this is going to piss off a lot of women) are the annoying feminazis and entitled princesses who expect men to worship their flawed butts but won’t give the time of day to anyone less than the most highly sought after men.

I hate this quote along with the whole “you’re not even on my level” quote. I’m definitely a female but I tend to think like a man.

[The6ix]

finally, a girl who understands.

[mysterywolf]

👏👏👏

[Grobmate]

Very well said! 👏👏👏

[Anonymous]

Marilyn Monroe was beautiful and talented, but also a wildly insecure drug addict with untreated mental illness.

See this quote as a red flag.

[ladywiththequestions]

These quotes, in my opinion, need to be taken with a grain of salt. In my opinion, the quote is meaning "through sickness and poverty." But, I think that if you're with someone who has mental issues and is refusing to work on or get help for those things, and in turn is not choosing to accept your help, then no, you shouldn't stick around. People can only ever truly help themselves. Now, in situation where your partner is struggling financially but it working really hard to make it to a specific goal, and you stick around her with the emotional hardships of being stricken with financial hardships, and then finally makes it and becomes wealthy, it would be a very rewarding thing for the both of you.

In essence, no one deserves to be treated like a doormat under the premise that "If you let me dont let me abuse you emotionally, then you dont deserve what gifts I may or may not present to you afterwards"

Personally, I think the quote is misused and misunderstood by a lot of people.

[ravyn22]

I feel like that quote goes for both people in a relationship. one person can’t be willing to put up with your difficulties, but if you’re not willing to do the same it won’t work. I will say that every woman is moody, and complains usually more than men. we think way deeper, are more complex, and sensitive, while most of you are simple and deal with things more internally. so in some cases rather than making the woman feel crazy men need to realize we just think differently, and have different ways of handling things. sometimes we don’t handle things the best, and a mature woman would realize that. we all have our problems, and you need to think about the fact that you’re trading problems when you leave one relationship and go to another. that being said don’t let a woman take advantage of you. you aren’t a doormat and she should allow you to complain and be moody at times too. if the relationship is one sided you should definitely back off. maybe the next relationship you try you should ask what her opinion is on the quote, maybe that’ll spark up a conversation, and you might get her views sooner rather than later. hoped this helped!

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

This quote in my opinion is very misunderstood. Most men take it to mean "put up with her shit/ tolerate her drama", in hopes of being "rewarded" for it later on. In reality, the true meaning is to HANDLE her shitty behaviour like a MAN. In other words, not be afraid to put her in her place when she gets out of line. No I'm not saying to beat women or anything, but rather, it's a matter of enforcing boundaries. Do you let her walk all over you? Then by definition, you have FAILED to "handle" her at her worst. Do you hold her to account for her behaviour and treat her like a grown ass adult, and not a spoilt child? Then you are "handling" her worst side, and therefore encouraging her 'best' side to come out.

[Asker]

This is what I learned from red pill societies

[dalibara]

If you truly love someone you don’t have to handle their worse just to have their best but because you love them and want to cheer them up, but only if you see them making some efforts on their own, to make the situation better. You have the right to have your own standards by the way so it’s totally your right to reject someone because you’re not okay with their lifestyle or personality, but don’t stay with them waiting for a reward, imagine that the frog will transform into a Prince Charming ( in your case a beautiful princess)

[dalibara]

*imagining

[JohnPrestwick]

In fact, no-one actually knows where the quote comes from. It probably wasn't Marilyn Monroe.

The full quote is: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Note that it is saying that we have to accept that a partner might be flawed and vulnerable. It isn't saying we should accept a dysfunctional relationship.

I would steer clear of "red pill" online communities. They often promote bad messages.

[jgokgotit]

Outdated, no. Misplaced yes. Many people, men and women, twist the meaning to make an excuse to do whatever the hell they want and expect others to just accept it. What the quote actually means is that if someone is too shallow to love someone who is struggling with something in their life then the person does not deserve to see them at their best.

[Bananaman177]

This is how it looks with the genders reversed:

[derek2017]

Exactly lmao!!

[ManOnFire]

I think most of the girl quotes out there are outdated, tired, and excessively overused. They are also narcissistic and self-serving and teach women to view men and anyone else as the problem and never themselves that needs fixing, maturing, learning, improving, etc.

[SuperManiac]

If "handling" someone at their worst includes being firm or harsh or even breaking up with them or if it becomes unbearable, then I might find some merit to it. If it means putting up with the worst behavior like some pushover, I think it's a ridiculous quote, and I don't think that even brings out the best in people (I think it tends to encourage them to continue being their worst).

[lifetime4u]

My interpretation of the quote its actual mean you should know the real me if you don't know the real me then we are not meant to be. Also girls are mostly very emotional creatures during relationships but not overly mental its society that gets them mental with its dtandard of the type men to date and type of women to date.

[blondfrog]

I like this one more. If you can't handle me at my diddlest then you don't deserve me at my doodliest.

[Daniela1982]

It is just one of those movie quotes that are made famous by some actor. If a person needs to say that I would stay away as they obviously have some admitted problems. But when you get downs to brass tacks don't we all? There is none of us who is perfect. I'm the first to admit I have lots of flaws and I don't mind admitting it.

[derek2017]

NOT only outdated but also idiotic! Cause as a great comedian once said "That depends!! How bad is your worse and how good is your best! If your worse is throwing a tantrum everyday then your best better be a 3some with your best friend!

[blutwolfe]

I hit girls right back with the quote, it can work both ways

[Asker]

Uno reverse card!

[OlderAndWiser]

I think the quote is an excuse for girls to blame guys when the girl just doesn't want to make the effort to be a better person and the relationship fails.

[JackSmy]

I think it is a VERY misunderstood quote, and Marylin was a troubled person. I have dated a few, that had issues, like Marylin, mostly with drinking, and child abuse. I think what she was saying, was the 'worst' is when she loses control, and like some, I knew, got too drunk, and irrational, throwing up, and just being really, at her worst!
A true friend, or someone that really loves, and cares, separates the bad behavior, from the person, and takes care of the other, AT THEIR WORST, and makes sure they are safe, and then gets help, after.
Life is messy. Relationships, are messy, and if you run, at the first time, you see a 'dark side,' or something 'unusual' you will never find anyone! Everyone has their issues, and this quote is all about acceptance, love, and caring for the person, and not freaking out, about little things!

[OlderAndWiser]

@JackSmy Yes, you are right. The quote can have more than one meaning. I am a man who stands by his woman when she is having difficult times, so I understand that interpretation. However, I do think this quote is used as an excuse by many women who don't want to try to be a better partner for their man.

[JackSmy]

Possibly, but I have never come across one that knew it, let alone used it, as you say!

[nerms123]

Basically people should be nice to you most of the time. Getting occasionally depressed is normal and ok but they shouldn’t be acting crazy all the time.

[Izumiblu]

You and a handful of bimbos are the only people that spend time contemplating the sincerity and applicability if that ridiculous statement. I don’t know any actual people that ever believed that nonsense

[Seket]

Yes, it's outdated. Emancipation has brought women on equal status with men so I don't see why we should give them special treatment anymore.

[Dchrls78104]

It's a double-edged sword, honestly. It can be used as a defence against frauds and defective personalities but if you're the fraud or yours is the defective personality you could use it to abuse it and mistreat the other person.

[Anonymous]

This type of attitude is a disqualifier, not just a red flag. I even told one girl that her best wasn't good enough for me to put up with her worst. Can I handle it? Sure, but it's not worth it. I want a woman, not a toddler.