''If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.'' Agree or disagree?

Question

UnknownReflection · Accepted Answer

Agreed.

I agree with some of the comments below as well. [For example; the dear member who speaks of this factor being an excuse]. That's one way to look at it. Although; i also believe because [the quotes] can be multidimensional and we can understand them differently; it is highly dependable in what perspective we look at it.

The way i personally see it, i can hundred percent agree with this. Because the quote is talking about the moments of life not personality traits. It's portraying the life's challenges. If you can't handle someone's sadness, madness, struggle and pain, leave them alone instead of being there for them while they are at their worst; depressed, failed and broken. Then you don't deserve to be part of their happiness, success and bright lights. You don't deserve to be part of their best moments. When they are cheerful and healthy.

You know; if you can't hug someone you love when they are covered in mud and scars; you don't deserve to hug them when they are clean covered in fancy cloths standing there with prestige. I highly believe in that. Love can't be hypocritical. You must love someone sincerely in every moment; or you don't deserve them.

Duke07 · Accepted Answer

If you can't love me in my bad days why should I love you in your bad days. Its pretty simple. We all have moods we all need someone to step up and recognize we need help pulling through a tough time and have our back. Just like I'd have my partners back if she was having a hard day. I need to be mature enough to recognize she's not yelling or upset at me and not take it personal and help her through it. And even if she is made at me I should care enough to know that anger is a secondary emotion cause by being hurt. So she is hurting. I need to love on her and ask her if I'm doing something wrong and talk to her. Figure it out. Grow stronger and move on. Hope that makes sense. :)

dancing_in_nebulas · Accepted Answer

Why are you making someone deal with your shitty side anyway?

Thats so selfish and disrespectful to your partner.

I get being stressed out on occasion, but there's no excuse to lash out at someone who loves you, because you're having a bitch fit.

Suck that shit up and have self control like a mature adult who isn't going to ruin their lover's day by being an unjustified asshole.

Maybe divorce rates wouldn't be so high if this weak ass generation would quit baby shit like this quote.

You aren't valuable lol, he / she has billions of other people to replace you with.

"you dont deserve me at my best -"

😂😂😂😂

Who do you think you are? Queen / King of Sheeba?

People can't even clean, cook, build, work, be educated, mentally stable, basically mannered these days, have the nerve to act like they are made of gold

😂😂😂😂

lia_98 · Accepted Answer

so i disagree: one of my favourite poets/writers said " those who only appear when things are bad are not your true friends" his reasoning for this is because, us as people have this tendency of always wanting to fix something when its broken, but pay it no mind when its at its best.

if someone loves you when you are at your happiest when they can clearly see the light you emit. and then choose to stay (because lets be honest, nobody, no matter if you're in a relationship or not is obligated to stay with you.) that's how you know a relationship is at its best, they enjoy your company and love you when you're happy and things are amazing, but have the choice to leave when things get difficult for you.

witherwing · Accepted Answer

I don't agree. If someone is acting like a raging bitch and someone else doesn't want to "handle" it, I don't think they should have to, but still deserve the person at their best. Adults should know how to control themselves at least to some extent, so I don't think anyone should have to handle someone at their worst.

Paris13 · Answer

"Sometimes things Fall apart so Better things can Fall together." It's Marilyn. Why else? Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. xx

coachTanthony · Answer

It's the most arrogant statement anyone could say to another human being. Your worst is something I may not want to deal with and saying I only DESERVE you at your best if I accept the worse is STUPID. What if your worse is really something you need to work on and change? You are basically saying.. I don't need to grow.. I don't need to improve.. you need to accept it. I WILL PASS.

PrincessPie · Answer

Agree, i want someone who accepts me for me, and i know i'm a very loyal person who will do anything for someone if i feel they would in return for me too.

rjroy3 · Answer

I'd rather be with someone who treats me well, because that's just who they are as a person. Not someone who is merely on their best behavior and shit goes sour, because now they're at their "worst". So I guess it's a twofold point.

1. I don't deserve their worst to begin with and their best likely isn't worth it if they're going to be someone who puts me through hell.

2. While I don't technically "deserve" anyones best if we're speaking objectively. Wouldn't they have to be deserving of my best, to have me even attempt to "handle" them at their worst?

It seems like a very onesided statement. If you're at your worst and focused on them being to "handle" you what makes you think you're deserving of their best at all? Not talking about you specifically obviously. But addressing how I disagree with the principle in general.
When I think of someone at their worst I don't think of someone who is just down on their luck. They're actually at their lowest, darkest moment and also their darkest self. Where the anger and all the parts of themselves they don't like comes out. If they vomit that shit on you, then yeeeeaa. That's a sign you shouldn't be with them anyways.

ScaryCool · Answer

I'm half and half. It depends what their worst is. If they go into some depression because of a family member passing and they sort of lose themselves a bit being human, I don't believe you should just up and leave. Showing you can support them as well as help them support themselves.

However, if they go on a spiral self-destructive path and you happen to be in the way (example: they get drunk and cheat) well then I'm sorry, but I got with you because you were at your best and helped bring out the best of me, so for me to stay with someone at their worst and also bringing me down too, yeah it'd be about time I leave.

Anonymous · Answer

I voted disagree but I think it's a "by circumstance" question. Your partner is not your servant or your parent, they are not obligated to put up with your sh*t. That being said, I think as a society phrases like this contribute to the downfall of relationships. Fairytales are not real. Your partner is a human being with flaws and defects, just as you are. So I think if a person has genuinely given their best effort to help their partner and the other party is unwilling to help themselves then it's perfectly acceptable to break up with them. That being said, I think many people give up too easily on relationships because society has created this idea that your "soulmate" will be perfect for you in every way imaginable. Its unrealistic.

ThatPersonOverThere · Answer

I'm an Iraq vet. My "Worst" is a very bad person capable of doing terrible things.

No woman should have to put up with that in order to "Deserve" to be with me. It is up to people to NOT treat their partners in the worst way, and treat them decently.

So it's not that if I can't handle a violent drug abusing woman that I don't deserve her at her best, it's that she doesn't deserve me period.

It's such a shitty cop out to say "Oh well if you don't accept my atrocious behavior then You don't deserve to be with Me." No, fuck off with that nonsense.

CubsterShura · Answer

Many people are misinterpreting this quote. While it is true that people should always put their best efforts into their relationships, you have to deal with the fact that if you can't handle them when they're physically or mental ill, going through hard times and is stressed and all... Then you don't deserve them when they are healthy and happy and all good.

No wonder divorce rate is so high these days. -_-

Eva323 · Answer

If someone deserves you at your best then they don't deserve you at your worst. You are not absolved from trying to be better. No one should be accepted unconditionally because they're nice sometimes. If you love someone, you'll try to spare them the heartache and stress of you at your worst. You'll fail, but at least you cared enough to try. If you didn't, you don't deserve them.

jeremythedrummer · Answer

Its an excuse for shit behaviour. Besides when you are at your worst its your job to control yourself. Sure , everyone has faults. But to avoid improvement and claim "If ya can't handle me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best" instead of finding ways to improve the flaws, is not progressive.

MScifiwriter · Answer

Personally when I see this on dating profiles, it always makes the girl sound obnoxious. It's almost like they're challenging the guy to see how much he's willing to put up with and only showing her good side when she feels like playing games.

Which is what it comes down to in my opinion, mind games!

sugarette · Answer

It's really a lousy excuse. I've had really godawful days at school but I don't take it out on my family or friends. When someone's at their "worst" it shows a total lack of self-control when it comes to your emotions. I'm not saying that everyone should be happy-clappy all the time. We all have down days but once your behavior starts to negatively impact the people around you, then there's something very wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree. 100%. My ex was with me at my good times but after my suicide attempt he didn’t want to be around me and found every excuse to barely talk to me or be there for me when I needed someone. So I left him. He couldn’t be here at my worst so I thought hell no. I learned the hard way. But it’s true. If they can’t handle you at your worse then they definetly can’t be with you.

Philyouup · Answer

I disagree.. and voted as such.. If you mean "at your worst" as in being a bitch, miserable and down right cranky, who wants to hang around waiting for the "good Times" to start.. If you mean a low point in your life or a sickness, then thats another story..

Lostranza · Answer

I totally disagree especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I think people need to work on themselves before they ever even consider being in a relationship especially if they are at their "worst". I think it is a little different if the person met the person in a good state and abandons them when they are going through something difficult of course i dont agree with that kind of behavior.

Gianna17 · Answer

I agree, people have their ups and downs. I have days where i look like im about to walk the red carpet and others where i can't be bothered to do anything special with my hair, makeup or outfit. If someone can't love me in both states then they dont love me at all. People are like packages, you can't pick and choose which qualities you want them to have and which ones you dont, there simply is no such thing as a "perfect person".

buttercupshero · Answer

Let's just take a simple example of a woman and her clothes. If you can't her when she's in sweats with no makeup on then why do you deserve her when she's all dressed up, makeup done, hair done, etc. You can apply this same logic to almost anything. However, some people's best is not much different from their worst.

VincentLaw · Answer

I would agree if it didn't use the word "deserve". It should say this instead:
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you certainly can't handle me at my best"
Because we're not great, and the idea that someone has to somehow earn the right to be with you is... conceited, I'd say

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

absolutely agree! Everyone can't be perfect all the time and people will go through hard times in their life. If someone only wants to be around when everything is going great in their life but then disappears as soon as a storm appears, then that person isn't loyal and it shows they runaway from problems. A true friend/lover is always going to be there, through your highs and your lows, and your lows can prove who is really there for you and who isn't.

Gendegamo · Answer

A person who handles u at time in worst are the best attitude that I have to show more love. The fact is u cannot be good always as a person because we thinks and acts differently. Maybe its ur best attitude or its ur worst attitude for someone. But for me who stands u in best and worst loves you deeply.

Astoriana · Answer

You know, I think this is a very neurotypical thing to say. I have a mental illness, and sometimes it is very bad. I can't handle me at my absolute worst, and I have to live in my own head all the time. So I understand where people are coming from. It's hurtful, yes, but I don't want to be with someone who thinks of me as a burden. I have enough of that on my own.

182_girl · Answer

I agree because I can be a really compassionate and kind person who will do anything for someone I care about. However, i have a rough exterior when someone first meets me as a way of protecting myself because I've been screwed over. So if someone can understand and get over that, then they deserve me.

anon4us · Answer

It all depends on what the worst is? If it is a bipolar disorder with fits of rage and destruction turned into abuse then I wouldn't want you at your best.

But if it's bad period cramps, pms, getting sick etc I'd take care of you as best I could and prob better.

keenybmr · Answer

In terms of behavior, I do not agree. I feel like its an excuse to behave like a bitch.

In terms of position in life, I agree. If "at my worst" means sick, poor, injured, etc and best means financially stable, healthy and fit

Browneye57 · Answer

It's just an excuse for bad behavior. Nobody 'deserves' anything - you get what you get for the effort you put in. No mature adult wants to babysit another adult. If you're a misbehaving woman then no one wants your best, whatever that is.

findingdreamland-1 · Answer

I disagree because many people see their partner as hero. No one can rescue you. You can rescue yourself. I understand we all need help time to time. That is ok but expecting everything from him is just stupid and not fair.

SapphireFox · Answer

I feel like a lot of people use this as an excuse to be an asshole. I always try to give people my best because I just think of it as being a good person.

Sarisalive · Answer

Because if a person isn't willing to be there for me when I'm going get through some things, they don't deserve and are not worthy to enjoy my good days with me.

That-Guy · Answer

disagree: depends on your worst... is it a 2 year meth binged?  What's your best? Saving money on tooth paste because you have mush mouth and no teeth from meth?  :D

IlyaTheImpaler · Answer

This meme has seen many applications in the game I play I agree with the duality because it has become a meme, which means it has high empirical value.

Rolanclimbr · Answer

People with chronic mental diseases such as anxiety and depression will have lows. And they will have highs. And these are uncontrollable factors, and not excuses.

cherryphi82 · Answer

No, I agree wholeheartedly. There are people in my life right now who feel they deserve nothing but the best of me but are completely unwilling to see my humanity or forgive my flaws. They think they have a right to my always putting my best foot forward, and not have to deal with me when I go through shit. Those are the kinds of people I wish would just vanish from the top of the earth. They need to learn a serious lesson.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Disagree. Many people at their worst are actually extremely fucked up or mentally ill, destructive or even evil and need to fucking fix that before anyone should be willing to tolerate an ounce of their bullshit.

000_000 · Answer

In case you all haven’t seen this at least three times

lostgirl_searching · Answer

I honestly agree. I was raised that not everyone is perfect and not all relationships are perfect. It depends on what type of person he is though, in the past my second boyfriend was showing signals that he was becoming abusive.. But if it's normal behavior, I can handle it. My boyfriend has attitudes, and no one likes it but I can handle them. He's a great a guy that has a few minor things about him that for some looks at it as bad.

LordTargaryen · Answer

One should always try to be the best version of oneself. When someone is at their worst, they're oftentimes completely irrational, irritable and not clearly communicating the problem. Get your shit together and we shall see whether we can handle it as a team. Isn't that the point of a relationship, somehow?
Handle you at your worst. You got to tackle the root of the problem, not the symptoms. If you can't handle yourself first, you don't deserve help, that's how the dictum should go.

littlefoot11 · Answer

I agree because a relationship, a real relationship is supposed to be built upon the bond that two people share. Sure there's stuff like tinder or casual hookups but dating is supposed to be something for two people who WANT to spend time together. If you can't handle that person you claim to love at their lowest point, then don't bother trying to get them to their highest point.

Miristheiss · Answer

Disagree.  "Deserve" You lost me there. What are royalty? There are 3.5 BILLION women on the planet. Tell us more about how people don't deserve you.

estoydorado1 · Answer

Agree to an extent. Some people are freeloaders and only want to show up for a piece of the success.

But a lot of people are only at their best until they have what they want. Then they'll take advantage and hold the hopes of a better future over the heads of those who support them.

lotv56 · Answer

If theyre talking about attitude then I don't agree. If theyre talking about life problems. Going downhill, not having a good job, then yea I agree. I wouldn't want people who were not there for me when I was not in my greatest moments in life but then all of a sudden want to be around me when i finally have a nice house, nice car, high paying job.

BeHappy1985 · Answer

So what if someone can come off as caring and loving if they for example beat you behind the closed doors? This is one of the dumbest quotes of them all. We all can bee good or evil and when choosing a partner we all go for the one with the least flaws. The only thing this quote is, is a shitty excuse for having flaws.

abc3643 · Answer

I agreen that's what love is about. If you disagree, end the relationship. THAT SAID, we should all work on improving ourselves so that are worst gets increasingly less so.

Davidgk3 · Answer

Why would you give someone your worst? I mean sure you shouldn't just blow someone off just because they aren't at their best 100% of the time, but i would rather try to be my best for that person as much as possible if i really care about them

looneymalooney · Answer

that is something only a person that does not want to bring anything else but shit into a relationship, has absurd requests that expects the other to fulfill and tries to find a lame excuse when questioned about their iffy behaviour.

Malita55 · Answer

I agree because being with someone means you’ll be there for them through the bad and good. If their worst it really bad, you just shouldn’t be with them

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

That's a very immature, juvenile concept, and something that people tell themselves as a blatant attempt to excuse their shitty behavior when then behave shittily. It's stupid, in other words.

D34thclown · Answer

We all have bad days where it feels like the world is against you and emotions flare up its important for me to know my partner can handle that and everything that comes with it , if you are just dating for the good parts you aren't seeing the whole person and all their flaws and weaknesses

636314 · Answer

I find this is something weak women often say to justify their shitty behaviour towards someone, usually a man they are seeing. I have never heard a man say this in my 31 years on this earth.

madhatters4 · Answer

what if your worst is terrible, awful, etc? like abusive or worse i understand the sentiment. but i don't we can take it too literally across the board

Steve37 · Answer

It sounds like a way to excuse being a bitch to your SO. Your best shouldn't be a reward for tolerating your bad behavior.

KAF87 · Answer

Absolutely, relationships can't be just about the good times, that would be a fantasy.

It's also why divorce is so common, sure marriage is easy when you are both happy and times are good. It's a lot harder when you are both at your worst.

SmoMan71 · Answer

How is this one “if you are a total bitch, I’m not going to bother saying around long enough to see you on a good day?”

Shimy · Answer

Honestly depends what the "worst" is. If it's mental or health problems, insecurities, or that kind of things, then yes I totally agree. But if it's being abusive and mean for no reason, then no.

happyhippo · Answer

Disagree. Nobody has to handle you at your worst. You should never do that to someone - make them be with you at your worst. If they want to be there, that's fine, it's even great, but you never know how your worst influences others.

brandonrobberts174 · Answer

While that is important in a relationship, I feel like having that attitude will push people away. Everyone has bad days, weeks, months, etc... but sometimes people leave just to give you some space. It’s not that they can’t handle you, but more along the lines of giving you time for yourself

Aeleen · Answer

Agree. Because we're all human and I can't be all smiles and joyful all the time. People have their own set of problems. And get upset. So obviously if peopke can't bandke you at your worst, they don't deserve u at your best

gclark2708 · Answer

As a quote it's just a way to justify being an arsehole haha  Whoever made that up must've been a right dickhead

SketchForger · Answer

Not really, I don't like the notion that a person being a psycho makes you the asshole for not being able to deal with them.

ColoradoKid · Answer

It's the truth. I have had relationships where if my migraines were not being a constant pain for me my SO at the time was around a lot. But when they got worse she didn't want to be around me.

Anonymous · Answer

True. Show me your worst, and I'll dump your ass in a second. Not because l CAN'T handle it, but because l WON'T tolerate it.

''If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.'' Agree or disagree?

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"If you cannot handle me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best." Do you agree with this statement? Why/why not?

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