''If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.'' Agree or disagree?

''If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.'' Agree or disagree?
  • Agree (explain)
    Vote A
  • Disagree (explain)
    Vote B
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Updates:
Why are there more people in the comments saying that hey disagree, but more people int he poll sayign they agree?
I'd like to hear some explanation from those who do agree.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you can't love me in my bad days why should I love you in your bad days. Its pretty simple. We all have moods we all need someone to step up and recognize we need help pulling through a tough time and have our back. Just like I'd have my partners back if she was having a hard day. I need to be mature enough to recognize she's not yelling or upset at me and not take it personal and help her through it. And even if she is made at me I should care enough to know that anger is a secondary emotion cause by being hurt. So she is hurting. I need to love on her and ask her if I'm doing something wrong and talk to her. Figure it out. Grow stronger and move on. Hope that makes sense. :)

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    • So you wouldn't be mad if she takes out her anger on you?
      For me it's unacceptable.

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    • Agree. But it all gets down to the fact that you should be able to control your anger

    • True but you have to understand not everyone is the same. Maybe they grew up in a household where it was normal. Its not an excuse i know but it is a factor cause maybe they aren't self aware. So thats where you and or I step up and show them there's a better way of handling the situation. It can go two ways. They dont care and keep doing it. In which case you need to simply walk away cause they aren't ready for self improvement. Or they are ready for self improvement and they end up wanting to fix that anger they have. But fighting anger with more anger is not wise. The one with a cool head lives a better life. :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why are you making someone deal with your shitty side anyway?

    Thats so selfish and disrespectful to your partner.

    I get being stressed out on occasion, but there's no excuse to lash out at someone who loves you, because you're having a bitch fit.

    Suck that shit up and have self control like a mature adult who isn't going to ruin their lover's day by being an unjustified asshole.

    Maybe divorce rates wouldn't be so high if this weak ass generation would quit baby shit like this quote.

    You aren't valuable lol, he / she has billions of other people to replace you with.

    "you dont deserve me at my best -"

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Who do you think you are? Queen / King of Sheeba?

    People can't even clean, cook, build, work, be educated, mentally stable, basically mannered these days, have the nerve to act like they are made of gold

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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What Guys Said 133

  • It's the most arrogant statement anyone could say to another human being. Your worst is something I may not want to deal with and saying I only DESERVE you at your best if I accept the worse is STUPID. What if your worse is really something you need to work on and change? You are basically saying.. I don't need to grow.. I don't need to improve.. you need to accept it. I WILL PASS.

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  • Its an excuse for shit behaviour. Besides when you are at your worst its your job to control yourself. Sure , everyone has faults. But to avoid improvement and claim "If ya can't handle me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best" instead of finding ways to improve the flaws, is not progressive.

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  • Agreed.

    I agree with some of the comments below as well. [For example; the dear member who speaks of this factor being an excuse]. That's one way to look at it. Although; i also believe because [the quotes] can be multidimensional and we can understand them differently; it is highly dependable in what perspective we look at it.

    The way i personally see it, i can hundred percent agree with this. Because the quote is talking about the moments of life not personality traits. It's portraying the life's challenges. If you can't handle someone's sadness, madness, struggle and pain, leave them alone instead of being there for them while they are at their worst; depressed, failed and broken. Then you don't deserve to be part of their happiness, success and bright lights. You don't deserve to be part of their best moments. When they are cheerful and healthy.

    You know; if you can't hug someone you love when they are covered in mud and scars; you don't deserve to hug them when they are clean covered in fancy cloths standing there with prestige. I highly believe in that. Love can't be hypocritical. You must love someone sincerely in every moment; or you don't deserve them.

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  • It's just an excuse for bad behavior. Nobody 'deserves' anything - you get what you get for the effort you put in. No mature adult wants to babysit another adult. If you're a misbehaving woman then no one wants your best, whatever that is.

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  • Personally when I see this on dating profiles, it always makes the girl sound obnoxious. It's almost like they're challenging the guy to see how much he's willing to put up with and only showing her good side when she feels like playing games.

    Which is what it comes down to in my opinion, mind games!

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    • You've seen this on dating profiles?

    • It isn't often, but I do come across dating profiles with that phrase or statement in it, every couple weeks. There have been some profiles that only have that statement in the profiles, other profiles will have other information along with that. But yeah, that statement does appear in a variety of dating profiles I've seen.

  • disagree: depends on your worst... is it a 2 year meth binged?

    What's your best? Saving money on tooth paste because you have mush mouth and no teeth from meth?

    :D

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  • I disagree.. and voted as such.. If you mean "at your worst" as in being a bitch, miserable and down right cranky, who wants to hang around waiting for the "good Times" to start.. If you mean a low point in your life or a sickness, then thats another story..

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  • In terms of behavior, I do not agree. I feel like its an excuse to behave like a bitch.

    In terms of position in life, I agree. If "at my worst" means sick, poor, injured, etc and best means financially stable, healthy and fit

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    • also wasn't marylin monroe a cheating thot drug junkie who slept with married men? why do people look up to her?

    • She didn't actually say this.

  • I'd rather be with someone who treats me well, because that's just who they are as a person. Not someone who is merely on their best behavior and shit goes sour, because now they're at their "worst". So I guess it's a twofold point.

    1. I don't deserve their worst to begin with and their best likely isn't worth it if they're going to be someone who puts me through hell.

    2. While I don't technically "deserve" anyones best if we're speaking objectively. Wouldn't they have to be deserving of my best, to have me even attempt to "handle" them at their worst?

    It seems like a very onesided statement. If you're at your worst and focused on them being to "handle" you what makes you think you're deserving of their best at all? Not talking about you specifically obviously. But addressing how I disagree with the principle in general.
    When I think of someone at their worst I don't think of someone who is just down on their luck. They're actually at their lowest, darkest moment and also their darkest self. Where the anger and all the parts of themselves they don't like comes out. If they vomit that shit on you, then yeeeeaa. That's a sign you shouldn't be with them anyways.

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  • People with chronic mental diseases such as anxiety and depression will have lows. And they will have highs. And these are uncontrollable factors, and not excuses.

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  • I would agree if it didn't use the word "deserve". It should say this instead:
    "If you can't handle me at my worst, you certainly can't handle me at my best"
    Because we're not great, and the idea that someone has to somehow earn the right to be with you is... conceited, I'd say

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  • Get your bipolar ass outta here! lol

    Define best and worst!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naDgcdtV9hI

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    • It's not my saying.
      How are you going to explain this quote is completely up to you.

  • In case you all havenโ€™t seen this at least three times

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  • that is something only a person that does not want to bring anything else but shit into a relationship, has absurd requests that expects the other to fulfill and tries to find a lame excuse when questioned about their iffy behaviour.

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  • One should always try to be the best version of oneself. When someone is at their worst, they're oftentimes completely irrational, irritable and not clearly communicating the problem. Get your shit together and we shall see whether we can handle it as a team. Isn't that the point of a relationship, somehow?
    Handle you at your worst. You got to tackle the root of the problem, not the symptoms. If you can't handle yourself first, you don't deserve help, that's how the dictum should go.

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  • Disagree.
    "Deserve" You lost me there. What are royalty? There are 3.5 BILLION women on the planet. Tell us more about how people don't deserve you.

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  • It all depends on what the worst is? If it is a bipolar disorder with fits of rage and destruction turned into abuse then I wouldn't want you at your best.

    But if it's bad period cramps, pms, getting sick etc I'd take care of you as best I could and prob better.

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  • It sounds like a way to excuse being a bitch to your SO. Your best shouldn't be a reward for tolerating your bad behavior.

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    • @Chiper91 I interpret "worst" to mean bad behavior because of the phrasing of the quote. If it said "If you can't SUPPORT me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best," I'd see it more your way.

    • @Steve37 same. Well noted.

  • Let's just take a simple example of a woman and her clothes. If you can't her when she's in sweats with no makeup on then why do you deserve her when she's all dressed up, makeup done, hair done, etc. You can apply this same logic to almost anything. However, some people's best is not much different from their worst.

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  • That's a very immature, juvenile concept, and something that people tell themselves as a blatant attempt to excuse their shitty behavior when then behave shittily. It's stupid, in other words.

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    • Well said.

    • My two sister are immature one it older she act like a a fucking bitch. she always shoot and scream at me when i not done anything wrong.

  • Absolutely, relationships can't be just about the good times, that would be a fantasy.

    It's also why divorce is so common, sure marriage is easy when you are both happy and times are good. It's a lot harder when you are both at your worst.

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  • Why would you give someone your worst? I mean sure you shouldn't just blow someone off just because they aren't at their best 100% of the time, but i would rather try to be my best for that person as much as possible if i really care about them

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  • This meme has seen many applications in the game I play

    twitter.com/henrydota2/status/972275174807621632

    https://i.redd.it/vxb2jtmh64q01.png

    I agree with the duality because it has become a meme, which means it has high empirical value.

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  • I'm half and half. It depends what their worst is. If they go into some depression because of a family member passing and they sort of lose themselves a bit being human, I don't believe you should just up and leave. Showing you can support them as well as help them support themselves.

    However, if they go on a spiral self-destructive path and you happen to be in the way (example: they get drunk and cheat) well then I'm sorry, but I got with you because you were at your best and helped bring out the best of me, so for me to stay with someone at their worst and also bringing me down too, yeah it'd be about time I leave.

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  • I agreen that's what love is about.
    If you disagree, end the relationship.

    THAT SAID, we should all work on improving ourselves so that are worst gets increasingly less so.

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  • As a quote it's just a way to justify being an arsehole haha

    Whoever made that up must've been a right dickhead

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  • I agree because a relationship, a real relationship is supposed to be built upon the bond that two people share. Sure there's stuff like tinder or casual hookups but dating is supposed to be something for two people who WANT to spend time together. If you can't handle that person you claim to love at their lowest point, then don't bother trying to get them to their highest point.

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  • Not really, I don't like the notion that a person being a psycho makes you the asshole for not being able to deal with them.

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    • Not asshole not killed any. Always stay loyal and i got used more then once. been cheated on twice in the past. My older sister is more asshole she's always put blame on me and my little sister always agree with her. i never done any thing wrong and i try to stand but turn into shouting and I a agruing.

  • what if your worst is terrible, awful, etc? like abusive or worse

    i understand the sentiment. but i don't we can take it too literally across the board

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    • Shouting , being blame on when i not do any thing. Nothing to with my boyfriend. it my family. older sister act like a bitch and she think i am her daughter but i am not. both sisters agree on anything that her me into trouble.

    • Nothing to do with my boyfriend.

  • How is this one โ€œif you are a total bitch, Iโ€™m not going to bother saying around long enough to see you on a good day?โ€

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What Girls Said 59

  • "Sometimes things Fall apart so Better things can Fall together."
    It's Marilyn. Why else?
    Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. xx

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  • Agree, i want someone who accepts me for me, and i know i'm a very loyal person who will do anything for someone if i feel they would in return for me too.

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  • I don't agree. If someone is acting like a raging bitch and someone else doesn't want to "handle" it, I don't think they should have to, but still deserve the person at their best. Adults should know how to control themselves at least to some extent, so I don't think anyone should have to handle someone at their worst.

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  • If someone deserves you at your best then they don't deserve you at your worst. You are not absolved from trying to be better. No one should be accepted unconditionally because they're nice sometimes. If you love someone, you'll try to spare them the heartache and stress of you at your worst. You'll fail, but at least you cared enough to try. If you didn't, you don't deserve them.

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  • Many people are misinterpreting this quote. While it is true that people should always put their best efforts into their relationships, you have to deal with the fact that if you can't handle them when they're physically or mental ill, going through hard times and is stressed and all... Then you don't deserve them when they are healthy and happy and all good.

    No wonder divorce rate is so high these days. -_-

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    • That's true what you're saying for mental illnesses.
      But Many people use this for general bad behaviour.

    • You can't really just be with a person and then be treated well by them 100% of the time things do go downhill at times and bad things happen... But yes consistent bad behavior is a total red flag.

  • It's really a lousy excuse. I've had really godawful days at school but I don't take it out on my family or friends. When someone's at their "worst" it shows a total lack of self-control when it comes to your emotions. I'm not saying that everyone should be happy-clappy all the time. We all have down days but once your behavior starts to negatively impact the people around you, then there's something very wrong.

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    • Couldn't have said it better. Don't portray your negativity on others and say, "here! I know this isn't your problem, nor did you start it, but you fix it!". That's immaturity at its finest. Everybody has bad days, weeks, months, years, but don't let that turn you into a bad person.

    • I agree. The problem with this phrase is that you assume that it's someone elseโ€™s responsibility to handle you at your worst. The responsibility of your behavior always lies primarily with yourself, and you should take the ownership, consequences, self-critical lessons and possible improvements from them. I have no idea why most guys in the comments are talking about women though...

    • More than likely, like me, they've heard it said to them by a previous ex.

  • I disagree because many people see their partner as hero. No one can rescue you. You can rescue yourself. I understand we all need help time to time. That is ok but expecting everything from him is just stupid and not fair.

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  • I feel like a lot of people use this as an excuse to be an asshole. I always try to give people my best because I just think of it as being a good person.

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  • I totally disagree especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I think people need to work on themselves before they ever even consider being in a relationship especially if they are at their "worst". I think it is a little different if the person met the person in a good state and abandons them when they are going through something difficult of course i dont agree with that kind of behavior.

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  • I agree, people have their ups and downs. I have days where i look like im about to walk the red carpet and others where i can't be bothered to do anything special with my hair, makeup or outfit. If someone can't love me in both states then they dont love me at all. People are like packages, you can't pick and choose which qualities you want them to have and which ones you dont, there simply is no such thing as a "perfect person".

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  • Because if a person isn't willing to be there for me when I'm going get through some things, they don't deserve and are not worthy to enjoy my good days with me.

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    • True.
      But some people use this line as an excuse for shitty behavuour.
      Bad life situations are normal.

    • That's true. Well if a person is continiously terrible and doesn't change, then yeah it's be good to distance yourself from them

  • You know, I think this is a very neurotypical thing to say. I have a mental illness, and sometimes it is very bad. I can't handle me at my absolute worst, and I have to live in my own head all the time. So I understand where people are coming from. It's hurtful, yes, but I don't want to be with someone who thinks of me as a burden. I have enough of that on my own.

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  • No, I agree wholeheartedly. There are people in my life right now who feel they deserve nothing but the best of me but are completely unwilling to see my humanity or forgive my flaws. They think they have a right to my always putting my best foot forward, and not have to deal with me when I go through shit. Those are the kinds of people I wish would just vanish from the top of the earth. They need to learn a serious lesson.

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    • Funny reading through the comment. To all the people who say the "won't tolerate" or put with it when somebody shows them their flawed side or better yet, that this quote is an excuse to be an asshole... remember this question on GaG where a user asked something along the lines of: Are you only ever as good as you allow people to treat you? Basically saying that if you don't stand up for yourself, it's your fault if people treat you poorly. THAT is the example of an excuse to being asshole. Handling someone at their worst does not mean you have to let them treat you like an asshole. It means they're going through tough times and might not function at their best. Very different ballpark.

    • People who only want you at your best are called "fair weather friends".

  • Disagree. Many people at their worst are actually extremely fucked up or mentally ill, destructive or even evil and need to fucking fix that before anyone should be willing to tolerate an ounce of their bullshit.

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  • absolutely agree! Everyone can't be perfect all the time and people will go through hard times in their life. If someone only wants to be around when everything is going great in their life but then disappears as soon as a storm appears, then that person isn't loyal and it shows they runaway from problems. A true friend/lover is always going to be there, through your highs and your lows, and your lows can prove who is really there for you and who isn't.

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    • Sooner or later those people who abandon others are going to want someone to listen and be there when their going through hard times.

  • A person who handles u at time in worst are the best attitude that I have to show more love. The fact is u cannot be good always as a person because we thinks and acts differently. Maybe its ur best attitude or its ur worst attitude for someone. But for me who stands u in best and worst loves you deeply.

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  • I agree because I can be a really compassionate and kind person who will do anything for someone I care about. However, i have a rough exterior when someone first meets me as a way of protecting myself because I've been screwed over. So if someone can understand and get over that, then they deserve me.

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    • So people are supposed to put up with your shitty behaviour because you dated some asshole in the past? What about what they deserve? Do they deserve to pay for the previous man's mistakes?

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    • No, I just decided to end it because you obviously don't want to hear an opinion that doesn't make you feel better about yourself and the way you act. So I chose to not engage you any further. Hopefully it works out for you, and you won't have to try and better yourself.

    • Makes sense. Although how should I better myself for others?

  • If theyre talking about attitude then I don't agree. If theyre talking about life problems. Going downhill, not having a good job, then yea I agree. I wouldn't want people who were not there for me when I was not in my greatest moments in life but then all of a sudden want to be around me when i finally have a nice house, nice car, high paying job.

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  • I honestly agree. I was raised that not everyone is perfect and not all relationships are perfect. It depends on what type of person he is though, in the past my second boyfriend was showing signals that he was becoming abusive.. But if it's normal behavior, I can handle it. My boyfriend has attitudes, and no one likes it but I can handle them. He's a great a guy that has a few minor things about him that for some looks at it as bad.

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  • I agree because being with someone means youโ€™ll be there for them through the bad and good. If their worst it really bad, you just shouldnโ€™t be with them

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  • Honestly depends what the "worst" is. If it's mental or health problems, insecurities, or that kind of things, then yes I totally agree. But if it's being abusive and mean for no reason, then no.

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  • Agree to an extent. Some people are freeloaders and only want to show up for a piece of the success.

    But a lot of people are only at their best until they have what they want. Then they'll take advantage and hold the hopes of a better future over the heads of those who support them.

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  • Disagree. Nobody has to handle you at your worst. You should never do that to someone - make them be with you at your worst. If they want to be there, that's fine, it's even great, but you never know how your worst influences others.

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  • so i disagree: one of my favourite poets/writers said " those who only appear when things are bad are not your true friends" his reasoning for this is because, us as people have this tendency of always wanting to fix something when its broken, but pay it no mind when its at its best.

    if someone loves you when you are at your happiest when they can clearly see the light you emit. and then choose to stay (because lets be honest, nobody, no matter if you're in a relationship or not is obligated to stay with you.) that's how you know a relationship is at its best, they enjoy your company and love you when you're happy and things are amazing, but have the choice to leave when things get difficult for you.

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    • so an ideal partner won't try to fix you when youve broken down, but will rather just be there to support you as you pick yourself back up.

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    • i recomend the zahir and the witch of portobello.

    • Thanks, I'll add it tp my list. :D

  • Agree. Because we're all human and I can't be all smiles and joyful all the time. People have their own set of problems. And get upset. So obviously if peopke can't bandke you at your worst, they don't deserve u at your best

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  • Well if you don't want me when I'm going through shit why would I want you when I'm at the Top of my Game Shining like a Diamond!!!

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  • I prefer the one I found:
    "If you can't handle me at my worst, you're right coz that shit is nasty"

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    • On a more serious note, if someone's worse means that theyre abusive or a dick in some form or other, their best may not be worth the effort.

    • Yea, there is more than way to explain this qoute.

  • How about, if your expectation is that someone handle you at your worst and you should be the judge of what is good and bad handling of you at your worst then you should probably not be in a relationship.

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  • Why waste your time with someone who can't even reach out and hold your hand through the rough spots? They don't deserve you when you're soaring with the eagles.

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  • I agree because I interpret it as if you can't handle someone in their hardest time and help them through it then you don't deserve them when everything is care free and easier.

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