I have a coworker, who whenever we are partnered, we work incredibly well together, and have insane amounts in common interests and personality. We'll both admit that all day. I really like him. He's great. He's one of the best people I know, brings the best out of me, and makes me feel better about myself than anyone has in a long time. When someone had drug me through the mud once, he told me he thought I was cool. He was distracted and didn't seem to want to talk to anyone at the moment, so he seemed to say it begrudgingly and I didn't push it, but he also seemed like he probably meant it. I wasn't looking for reassurance nor did I approach the topic like I wanted it. Also, I've been very tired lately. I'm not very good at processing when I'm tired. He reassured me, and when I said I'm not usually an idiot, he was like "you could *never* be an idiot." I said that he's never seen me at my worst, and he responded by saying that I'd never seen him at his worst, either. Then the next week when I still hadn't been able to rest and was about to lose my mind, he told me to rest and that he'd handle things for awhile. We've gone a parking lot walk, and several things that add to our connection. But I have trust issues. And I also see how he hardly reaches out, doesn't seem to invite me to things (but also doesn't seem to invite anyone else), or always be the most open. I've also seen the days where he seems to want nothing to do with me, and is fine with everyone else. I can't fault him for that, he's been going through a lot and doesn't like to talk about things. I also have no one to talk about this with so I needed to get it out. It's not his fault I can't read his mind, but it's driving me nuts that I can't. I feel like our conversations have way more depth than with the others that I've seen, but I'm also not seeing tons of effort besides that. Anyways, any input would be great.
2 mo
I can't read his mind, so does anyone have any input?
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So there is a ton of effort on your part then, right? I don't know why you feel this guy should bend over backwards to make you priority one... he's a colleague... I don't get it.
And what do you mean you have trust issues? That comment was oddly out of place.
There is significantly more effort on my part. I don't feel like he should bend over backwards, but I am confused because words aren't seeing to match actions. I'm seeing little to no effort, when we care a lot about each other according to our words.
I mean I have a hard time trusting the words and that they're able to be taken at face value.
I still don't understand what you are talking about. Words matching actions? You are colleagues.
I hear you.
Same for myself when I’m work - I’ve always got the same co worker. We travel and do all our jobs together. We do bond but I keep having to remind myself “it’s just work!”.
He doesn’t like me.
I’m not allowed to like him.
Hold back what I share (life stuff).
We’re just amicable people that work well together.
The attraction isn’t real, ignore it 🥵🤭
I hate it!!