He says he doesn't feel "worthy" of a woman like me?

[Anonymous]

I revealed my romantic feeling to my friend & he said, he was extremely shocked that I saw him this way. Then he said he never felt "worthy" of being with a woman like me because he felt I was on a much higher level than him. He is still struggling in some areas, while I have a career, house, car of my own. But I like his character not his temporary lack of money. He said he felt he needed to be more polished before he would consider being with someone like me. I don’t think I’m unattractive & whenever he goes out recreationally – it is only with me and he still wants to hang out with me. He says it was good that I told him how I felt because we're too old to be holding back feelings. So my question is - was that just an excuse because he doesn’t really like me that way or is he really insecure about himself?

[aadenyl]

I think only he knows the answer to your question. I know I've used this line before when I just wasn't interested, but sometimes some men stand in their own way without knowing it. Try to convince him that he's good enough and that if he wasn't, you wouldn't be interested. If you cannot convince him, it's probably best to move on. Regardless of whether he's insecure or just not interested, it'd be in your best interest to find someone else. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, any guy would be so lucky to have you!

[zachg]

i think he's being serious. he's being stupid. but serious. with lack of money he feels he can't take you nice places like he feels you deserve. he must have a lot of respect for you

[Asker]

ok - I can except that. it just made me feel - initially anyway - that he didn't find me attractive. He never said "I think you're beautiful" only - "Wow, I am so off guard! - I didn't think you would want a guy lke me" - I took it hard, but after he insisted that I had done the right thing telling him how I felt, I'm tried not to take it personal and just give him space. He is asking me to be patient. But who knows how long that'll be! LOL

[zachg]

he was obviously shocked so don't take offense if he didn't call you beautiful. and press him gently. ask him how he feels about you etc.

also don't make him do it in front of you but tell him to flip a coin. not because that'll solve the problem. but the instant that the coin is in the air you know what side you're hoping for.

[Waggaman]

I've been in that exact same situation. I told the girl that it was up to me to decide who I thought was worthy, not them. It worked a charm.