I really feel like my guy friend is distancing me these days. What's up with my guy friend?

[starangel248]

I really feel like my guy friend is distancing me these days. He's pretty much like a brother to me, and I was pretty sure he doesn't have any romantic feelings toward me because he never flirts, and even went out briefly with my best friend. I'm not sure about it now, because right after I told him how I've liked this guy for a really long time, I told him, and he gave me a vague-ass answer, he started acting weird. He basically dismissed the incident as: "He's gay, move on" and he practically stopped answering my messages these days. I mean...the fact that my guy friend just dismissed my crush as gay because he didn't jump up and down and say I like you back kinda hurt me. Then he would stop answering my messages!?!? I really don't know what's going on here...I thought he'd tell me by now if he liked me more than a friend. I mean, it took him just a week to tell my best friend he likes her. So I know he's not the shy type who can't tell a girl he likes how he feels. Am I reading too much into this? Any feedback is welcomed...

Updates

+1 y

PS: I was pretty sure I posed this under Relationships...oh well

Updates

+1 y

Yeah OK so the hunch I had + the comments here are pretty much bullseye... He practically stopped talking to me. sigh. So much for the friendship...

[emptypackofsmokes]

He does like you. He might even be convinced that he loves you.

I'd even bet that he went out with your best friend so he could be close to you.

The transition from the best friend/brother-ish role into the boyfriend role is incredibly complicated. It's hard to know what to do. He doesn't want to lose you, so he'd treading softly. He's probably liked you for years. I would stop talking to him about the guys you like. That probably burns like hell for him. If you choose to date the new guy you like, don't expect him to stick around. It might take him a while to warm up to you again. Hopefully he can.

[starangel248]

damn...well the thing is, my crush is also my best guy friend. Just that I really think my crush and I have a lot more things in common than with this guy in question. Yeah I stopped talking about my crush to him. But him dating my best friend just to be close to me? really? Do guys really do that ridiculous roundabout thing? So my best friend came to live with me for the summer, he met her, and asked her out after a week. That kinda convinced me that he doesn't like me more than just a friend.

[emptypackofsmokes]

Yes, guys sometimes do pull the "dating her's not working, I'll date her friend"move. Perhaps, to stay relevant in your life as long as possible.

[starangel248]

Whoa, OK that's one move I won't understand. I mean, "I'll date her friend" move would actually convince me that he's not interested in me! Besides, I've been friend with him for a solid year before he met my best friend, so it's not like he wasn't relevant to begin with. So...did I just unknowingly sabotage the friendship here? I really like him, but not in a relationship way. Besides, we live in a diff city...

[l-hedoniste]

So you're pretty sure he has no romantic feelings, even though he acts jealous and distances himself when you meet a new man? Really?

You know *exactly* what's going on with your guy friend, you just need to confront him about it. But first, you need to confront yourself.

[starangel248]

It makes no sense because I thought he'd tell me by now. I actually liked him for a bit, but moved on because I thought he doesn't see me that way. It literally took him a week after seeing my best friend for the first time for him ask her out. I've known him for about 5 years...so I thought he'd ask me by now, if he had any feelings. I guess I just wanted some outside perspective to see if he's really being jealous...or something else.

[l-hedoniste]

"I thought...", "I was pretty sure..." A handy habit is to give your hunches a reality check, just to be sure you're not making up other people's intentions.

[LovelyAttraction]

I think he likes you but he just doesn't have the nerve to tell you because he's afraid of telling you. and that you have this new guy in your life he's probably jealous and he doesn't want you to get hurt so he's telling you to move on and maybe it's to him maybe to someone who will take care of you but if they don't then they arent't the one that everyone talks about.

[starangel248]

argh...you know, it took him a week after seeing my best friend for the first time for him to ask her out. They dated for a few months, she dumped him, he came to me all angry, and I ended up hearing him out. So I thought he'd tell me by now if he had any feelings. I really have no idea wtf is up with him. I love him, but I don't love him in a boyfriend sense... I guess I just wanted some outside perspective to see if he's really being jealous, or something else.

[Gaabbyyyx3]

I'd say he likes you and is afraid to show his feelings, because right there when he said he's gay, move on meaning he doesn't want you with that guy.. Unless did he ask you who this guy is?

[starangel248]

well I told him how I'm gonna meet up with my "good friend" who's my crush. and he sounded very disinterested...

[Gaabbyyyx3]

Guy's are so confusing, do you know how he acted in his past realationships? Has he shoed any affection towards them?