Why are so many women obsessed with the concept of being independent?

Question

pinkcactus484 · Accepted Answer

Because often, women are not free

We see it in the media all the time. Both around the world and in our own neighbourhoods, a woman is not free to do what she wants, not like a man is. Across the world, women who go out alone (especially at night) are at risk of being harassed, assaulted, or murdered. For this reason, women are so often kept away from getting hurt, or we are given extra restrictions. Like earlier curfews, for example.

Even when we are physically safe, we are not always given the opportunity to live our lives to the full. This could be not getting a promotion at work because of sexism. Or being pressured to stay at home instead of pursuing a career just because you've got kids (or equally, being pressured to get a career when you want to be a stay-at-home mum). Men rarely have to face these judgements and restrictions (with the exception of stay-at-home dads maybe).

Sometimes, our own minds hold us back. Whether it's the fear of going out on the street. Or the thought that we are not good enough to get that promotion. Or the guilt we would feel from not being stay-at-home mums. When we have an unhealthy mindset in one area of our life, it can spill over to other areas of our lives too. We can end up being chained by our own worries and mindsets.

I guess that's why so many women are focused on being free and independent. We just want the ability to live lives that make us happy. Without fear. Without shame. Without judgement.

nomadia · Accepted Answer

I think being independent to me means that I'm able to to make decisions on my own and have and able to express my own views and opinions. It means being able to take care of myself financially, physically etc it means not having to depend on someone for basic needs. It mentally rewarding and it let's ur partner know that u chose him for him and not to settle just to provide for u. I think it shows u appreciate ur partner for who he is and not what he has.

winterfox10 · Accepted Answer

I think they are obsessed with it because they don't want to feel trapped by the men in their lives. But they aren't really achieving independence, because the work that they are putting in isn't generating the kind of money they need to be truly independent. It's kind of a weird thing, because having women in the workplace actually cheapens the value of the individual workers by making workers more common; which ends up hurting both men and women. It's only natural to want to believe that you will be one of the rare few who has a prolific career, but most people are average by definition.

Dude, I can't figure this obsession out to save my life. It's even more confusing because all the little societal expectations and "barriers" are still there, and men are competing with women for crappy jobs. So we have twice the potential workforce, with the same number of (or fewer), jobs; and men and women are forced to be dependent on each other's income.

Why the fuck would you WANT to put up with all the shit that men do, when (let's be honest) 95% of people, male or female, will never even come close to what they actually wanted in terms of career? Why bother going through all of that garbage when you're probably going to fall short of your hopes and dreams anyhow, and then spread your legs to get the security that your average-to-mediocre career was never going to provide you?

tartaarsaus · Accepted Answer

adults need to be independent. It is super risky to just bet on finding a dude early on and staying with him until you die, simply because relationships and marriages fail quite often. If you haven't got a career, no education and no attempt to be independent, you'd be pretty fucked if your relationship with a dude on whom you depend goes sour. That's because it'd be a choice between a shitty relationship and likely a shitty life or a lack of possibilities to sustain your lifestyle and consumption choices, which is also a shitty life.

second, quite a short time ago (I think we're talking 60/70 years ago), women simply were far more restricted in every sense of the word. Sounds pretty logical to make a big deal out of being independent if your gender was historically deprived of that opportunity and forced into being dependent on a dude.

I should of course address the shit that people in this thread say that somehow feminism and modern culture has made it really bad to be dependent of a guy. The simple fact of the matter is that it is really extremely risky to be fully dependent of a guy. Sure, women can decide to be very dependent on a guy, but that makes you effectively a financial hostage in case your relationship goes shit (which it often does). It's a super risky strategy.

sagevalentineee · Answer

Independence means you don't have to rely on anyone, also you life, it yours and your responsibility. This is too say : successes and failure will only effect yourself so it's in your control.

I think it's perfectly okay to not be independent, but in the modern day I think it's a risk less people are willing to take. In my family my Dad is the one who is focused on his career, and my mother is the family caretaker. She does a lot of cooking and travelling. Whilst I really admire the teamwork and the effectiveness of it, I can also see why some people wouldn't want it. For example, my Dad's every career choice will effect not just himself, but also how my mum lives and my future. If he makes a risky investment and we needed to downsize for example... it would be bad for the family, whereas if he was independent he could just do it because it only effects himself.

From a female perspective, I guess it's a really insecure position. We've been lucky because my Dad is very hardworking and never has financial issues. However some housewives have no savings, no pension plan money, no valuables, and no work experience. To keep it going, you've got to make sure your children do well and your husband is happy and the relationship is good. Those women are seriously insecure if anything goes wrong. So I can see why to a person like that, the concept of being independent and only having yourself to please can be feel a lot like freedom.

However housewife situations aren't always trapping like that... it depends on the circumstances of the couple really.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Well, I mean, independence is a good thing.

Ultimately in life, you are the only one you can count on. Friends, family, partners - while they all can be reliable, it's not guaranteed and they all have their own lives, too.

Being independent and able to care for yourself without the need for another person taking care of you means you'll never have to worry.

Maybe you take a break every now and again, but ultimately you're able to provide for and care for yourself.

When you can do that, your quality of life is fully within your control.

blank_expression · Answer

It is hypocritical to claim one is independent while being highly dependent on the system and its infrastructure. Feminism has shifted women’s dependency from family to the government. Personally, I strive for real independence by growing, hunting most of my own food, having my own water wells, solar, and have gone off-grid. That is how I view independence. These independent obsessed women really have become more dependent collectively within the Marxist-feminist doctrine that they all group think and vote government socialism programs to support women as a group only. On the other hand, the family was actually more independent as a unit without the collective feminist mantra groupthink and limited government dependence. The mirage of independence these independent obsessed women perceive is really a vector to Marxist-socialism dependency while their thoughts are being regulated. F-that!

TonyV · Answer

I'm sure same reason I do, cause being dependent on others sucks as, you make yourself a prisoner to there whim. When my car breaks and I need to get a ride it really sets me off, now I'm dependent on others to get around, they can decide if or were I go, I've lost an unacceptable amount of my freedom, or something absolutly everyone should be able to relate to, not having your own money, like a house wife for example, she has to ask permission for every little purchase, she's not guaranteed to have any spending money so she could basiclly end up under house arrest cause she has no money, women dont want that, they want some independence, they dont to have to ask, can I get something? Like a kid looking at the candy by the register

I don't know why anyone would choose to be dependent on the kindness of an other. Independence is possessing the power to change your own destiny.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

I don't know why, or how many women want or choose to be independent, but I've had my fair share of dependent women in my life. In fact, I'm a magnet for them. Every single serious relationship I ever had was with females who were entirely too dependent. More than half of them didn't even drive. My wife didn't drive. I had to threaten her with divorce to force her, and by force her I mean do everything I could to hold her hand through the entire process. A complete PITA.

I vowed never to enter a relationship again with a woman who doesn't have her own career, her own savings that are at least $2-3k in the bank, and a college degree. That is of course if I ever get divorced and start dating again.

Dargil · Answer

Feminist Derangement Syndrome (FDS) has told them that traditional female roles are enslavement. That marital sex is rape. And so on. FDS is a mental illness brought about by indoctrination at sensitive ages. >>>Just like real racism<<< . And like racism, once a person is infected by FDS, it is almost impossible to reverse, You are 15. Please reject the Social Justice propaganda taught in public schools. Better you discipline yourself to learn off the internet. I mean this.

YourGirlGigi · Answer

Why not? She shouldn't have to feel this way if her counterpart didn't allow her to be. I don't think today's woman is obsessed with being independent. It is expected for her to be now more than ever. We're not living in the days that women have to be obsessed with independents. That's generations before battle.

Both men and women are being raised to take care of themselves regardless of the so call gender roles. We all need each other in one way or another to get through this world. So no one is an island unto themselves per se'. But, where does it say a woman should rely on a man for her lively hood?

Generations past
were dealt an ugly deck of cards if her husband divorced her or refuse to even take care of her properly while married. People forget why women of old fought for equal rights because it did not serve them well to be dependent on a man.

wisefool · Answer

Of course it's because of feminism, all you have to do is look at the history of culture. The lie of independence was sold to women as a better life which never manifested. Women became dependent on the state instead of a husband. As a result, fatherless homes shot through the roof and it became even harder for women to find and keep a husband. Not to mention, many men find the "independent woman" mentality to be repulsive. Now the whole game has changed and we have things like hookup culture, extreme divorce rates, loneliness and depression pandemic. Good job feminism!

G3tAClue · Answer

Because my father taught me how to not need a man. He taught me to take care of my car, do my taxes, how to use tools. Those are all skills women should know in general.

Some fathers out there actually want their daughters to be strong and independent.

kaylaS91 · Answer

Sure, it’s because of modern day feminism.
I mean.. without it, women wouldn’t be allowed to speak their mind. Especially on very public avenues such as social media.

I think that as we see more and more movements gain momentum over the coming years (blm, feminism, redpill, First Nations, etc.), we’ll see a lot of almost radical behaviors from each group as they’ve all been kinda keeping (*kept) quiet for decades, if not longer. The natural reaction if you’re hoping on gaining your deserved rights/compensation is to get attention before anything else. The best and easiest way to do that nowadays is to get the public behind you, making it difficult for politicians to continue looking the other way.

Sarahloves19 · Answer

Because i HATE being controlled. I don't want to end up miserable with a rich guy who will have endless affairs while i will be his servant looking after home and children. If i become independent, he will not be able to force me to get pregnant because i know it sucks the life out of you. I will have freedom in my life rather than being his and his parents servant who is always taking care of them. I HATE IT. I AM MY BOSS.

thegirlfromthething · Answer

Independence gives you more control over your life. You don’t have to rely on someone else, get their approval, or keep them happy to have your needs met. When you’re dependent on someone else you’re limited to what they allow you to do and you have fewer options. You’re also more vulnerable to people who would take advantage of you because they know you need them.

Saville_Row · Answer

Because in the past many women suffered humilliation of all kinds just because they depended on someone. They had to accept it.

It feels good to be able to take some decisions in your life and often the people who love you is happy of seeing you that free.

YHL6965 · Answer

Feminist indoctrination. They make it look like you can't live without that, that you must have that and that, if you don't, you're contributing to sexism, to the patriarchy or whatever. The only right thing is to live like YOU want to live. Don't let others tell you how to live.

genericname85 · Answer

i feel like people in recent years lose the ability to think critically more and more. people stop thinking about what they want. they think about "what they are told they should want".

and they're even going as far as telling others what they should want on behalf of social norms that they don't even understand.

your question displays quite an astonishing amount of critical thinking capacity for a 15 years old.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

it is find to be a strong independent person male or female.

but modern feminism has pushed the scale. to where women are told all men are bad. because a handful of men over the years. have done negative things to women. which makes women distrust most men they meet.

similar to how racisms works in that regard. where you hear more about the negative impact then the positive impact. from main stream media and social media sources. so people start to distrust each other based on a feel bad apples.

yes it is sad that negative things happen to people. but most people you meet are not nearly that bad once you really get to know them.

chris0977 · Answer

I refer everyone with these questions to:  In these posts, women express being turned on by [Friday the 13th] Jason, to their surprise, nearly all female responders admit the same fantasy.

Cherokeehp · Answer

Because being completely dependent on others is a essentially a trap. All people need to be able to be independent to a certain extent to
maintain their own freedom. When you constantly rely on others for everything, then you’re very easy for them to control and manipulate. Women didn’t always have the rights and opportunities to be independent, and now that we do we are making the most of it.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

Maybe because for the last thousnds of years women weren't allowed to think for themselves and weren't allowed to decide things for themselves.

EG in the 50s a woman had to ask for permission to take on a Job outside being a houswive.

Also everyone wants to be independent, its not a good feeling to beg someone for money every damn time you need some cash.
Or to pick up the Job you want and not one your family forces upon you.

worldscolide · Answer

Whats really sad is the ones that Scream "Im an independent woman and i dont need no man" are the same ones that are on Food stamps, receiving multiple child support checks, and are on social security benefits.. the ones that are actually independent aren't vocal about it.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Independence in itself is a necessary step towards self actualisation. But "strong independent woman" is kind of a meme at this point, like, you don't need to constantly tell the world how independent you are. It's like guys who go around telling everyone they're an alpha male-- the fact they need to tell people that just means they aren't really an alpha

ryancg · Answer

Because being independent is what adults do. For me, my drive to be independent comes from not being able to rely on other people, in the end I know about the only person I can rely on is myself. I'd assume it's the same for a lot of other people too.

JDavid25 · Answer

You are right it is because of feminism.. It's teach society this big lie that men subjugated women for millenniums, and that finally women got the right to be independent from oppressive men from the... Patriarchy.. And now women are less happy than they were on the past because now they try to do anything, or act like they can.. Women always had independence in some sorts.. But in the past they just relied on they husbands financially more.. Which most at the time didn't mind..

devilish-cutie · Answer

because in the past women were treated like mans property and fully depended on a man. They had to marry and put up with that guy however he may treated them, basically they had no freedom. So its important to be independent cause if you have your own money you can leave a guy if he treats you badly, abuses you or its just not working anymore.

madgoat · Answer

It's fashionable to be independent at the moment which has some near term benefits (although they don't appear to have realised they are becoming tax slaves like the guys yet).
Longer term, not clear what impact this will have on society but lower marriage rates, higher divorce rates and sky high single parent families seem like a bad thing.

1truekhaleesi · Answer

I was raised to not ever depend on other people because the only person you can truly depend on in this life, is yourself. At least now if I have a guy romantically involved in my life, it's because I want him here not because I need him.

soleil2666 · Answer

The media. How else would they sell you all the stuff you don't need. It takes very little to be happy with the right person - the lower the 'keeping up with the joneses' ambition, the lower the effort required to keep up (and the health bill from overworking)

SoloTraveler · Answer

Financial independence is important. Having a career is important. This is not obsession. This is growing up and being an adult. Being an independent woman does not and should not mean devaluing the family institution or disrespecting your partner.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

Omg, it has nothing to do with feminism. Not every woman is a feminist and everything doesn't have to evolve or be labeled as such.

I believe everyone wants to be independent. Why not? Who wants to be living ag home with mommy and daddy in their 30s? In this day and age if you dont have a career or money sorry you can't buy anything. Prices are increasing continuously. The world stops for no one.

FatherJack · Answer

Independence and self reliance are positives , for a man especially , the only person you can truly rely on is yourself... for me personally , this applies more so as a single FT working parent. However the " Strong Independent Womyn TM " tends to brag , be obnoxious & rude & also tends to have a very low opinion of men in general , mainly due to intense dogmatic Cultural Marxist / feminist indoctrination @ the expensive indoctrination camps... known to most as universities.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because women are by nature followers. This is why no matter how hard they try they cannot as a whole surpass mens ambitions. They want and enjoy being being led. So when their fathers at home do not lead them up until they have a husband who leads them, they look to media and other women and things like that to lead them.

Deathraider · Answer

I think everyone wants the ability to be self autonomous and not dependent on another person. Like most people want a relationship, but they don’t want to completely depend on their partner.

So the answer to your question is because women are people too.

MzAsh · Answer

Because being dependent sucks. I used to be miserable before I earned my own independence, and I see what other women get into when they become too dependent as well. You become trapped and at the mercy of others. That’s no way to live.

rjroy3 · Answer

Societal push. Most girls don't care about being independent, but many want to be viewed as independent. It's the perception of independence most girls want because they don't want to be seen as helpless.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are still be told in 2020 they are “victims of patriarchy” which is absolutely bs.

Your a kid so you got a lot in front of you. But be weary of what your HS teachers are telling you. Most of them are liberals who don’t know how to separate opinion from fact. It only gets worse (and insane) in college.

Hannah591 · Answer

Probably a mixture of feminism and the society's culture in which they live.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. We're able to do things women never could not that long ago and that's awesome!

sejla · Answer

All humans should be independent. We essentially travel through the world with ourselves. Doesn’t mean we don’t Have human connections and that we can’t give and take help. I think this question is not relatable for women in the world who truly don’t get to experience independence in their daily life.

slatyb · Answer

It seems like a very healthy thing to me. If you can only attract a woman because she is unable to take care of herself, then you aren't all that attractive. I want a woman to choose me, not to just cling to me out of need.

GraveDoll · Answer

because all people should be able to adult. my father taught me how to be independent. That the best skill you can develop. you do not need to be a feminist to be able to hold yourself up.

Anonymous · Answer

They have been brainwashed by the feminist based society to believe it’s how they should be. Even the stupid school system is feminist based.
Its the reason women’s happiness had declined significantly over the last 40 years.
Women are given unreachable expectations which make them feel like failures.

Hermes-Paris · Answer

Because they are smart and don't want to be dependent on anyone else for their well being and happiness!

CasaNorba · Answer

women love bragging.

a woman being so called "strong and independent" has become a cultural thing so all women want to strive for this to just feel better about themselves and once again have something to brag about

sheikalana · Answer

I can only speak from my own point of view. I'm not a feminist. However the idea of being dependent on someone really freaks me out and that's something I don't want for my life.

louyaa · Answer

Well a lot of women weren't independent in the past and also you have to be independent on yourself in this world

Unit1 · Answer

Being men's financial hostage back in history has traumatized womankind on a near DNA equivalent level. Can't blame them for it at all. Dependence is toxic!

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

Because they can.  I would never want to fully depend on another person. I don't know why anyone would want that.

Ellie-V · Answer

It is a knee jerk reaction to not having any. This is the realm of duality. History is just evening itself out.

Jaded_heart · Answer

I can't speak for every women because we a have different perception and experiences.

I'm not obsessed with it but it's been a goal for me for a very long time. I've always been dependent on my parents. I've never really worked or anything. So I have this goal to achieve something on my own and make them proud. I want to be able to fend for myself and show my family that I'm not like them... that there's nothing wrong with being an atheist.

Mystic_Nova · Answer

Because the idea of relying on another person for income and my own lively hood makes me sick

Anonymous · Answer

Because these days being a woman doesn't have a meaning. Being a man is still about providing and responsibility and physical and emotional strength but what does it mean to be a woman? In order to overcome the identity crisis that modern women experience, they try to imitate men and to adapt men's identities.

SphynxUK · Answer

I’m not a feminist. I am independent. I can do things for myself. Some men are scared of that. Too bad. My partners in life have welcomed the fact.

_SOARER · Answer

It's the media, academia, and the lack of healthy masculine role models in their lives  Men and women depend on each other ❤❤❤❤ that's a beautiful thing.

JSmuve · Answer

Probably because society keeps pushing ideals on them that they have to be successful, independent career women in order to be viewed as a 'real woman'.

Iron_Man · Answer

Unless you're a high paid lawyer or female doctor good luck with that these are very expensive times we're living in to be able to afford your own home all on your own especially in a major well known popular city in America

Barbaric · Answer

It's because they've been told to be, funnily enough.

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

Because it can improve your life and allow a sense of freedom

drearyknight187 · Answer

Feminism makes it sound good. It's just another tagline they use to get people's attention.

whatdoumeandammit · Answer

It's not a concept, it's modern adulthood. Dependence on others should end when childhood ends (age depends on location in the world). Zero interest in bragging.

sdtabot · Answer

I'm a woman and I'm not obsessed with that concept. I'm too dependent which is bad tho.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure, a bit of feminism. But such things appeal because it resonates with something about their nature. Feminism appeals to base instincts.

In the case of being "independent" a part of why I think it resonates is because it's a projection about something they want in men. It's also often why they emphasize career and education in themselves.

Why are so many women obsessed with the concept of being independent?

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