How to be more natural with guys I find attractive?

[Anonymous]

There are two guys who joined my workplace and since we're in the same age group (we work with kids) we talk sometimes. I found out from our short conversation that both of them are so interesting and it's been a while since I've met people as nice and fun like them.

The problem is - they're hot, the very definition of it, they're tall, masculine, good looking and have great voices. They also have the same interests as me.

I don't want to date right now and especially not one of them, I just want to have peaceful time at my workplace and they really are great people, so I would like to become friends with them, but whenever I see them I suddenly turn shy.

When they try to talk to me, I cut off our conversations fast and I don't make any eye contact. Honestly, I don't want to give them the impression that I'm into them, because as I wrote before, my only intention is to become their friend. But it looks like they got the wrong impression that I hate them since one of them stopped trying to talk to me and the other is being very careful around me.

So how can I get close to them without giving them the wrong idea?

[CallMeDave]

I'm not surprised that they are reluctant to talk with you now after you acted cold toward them. I think you sent the "not interested so leave me alone" message and they're respecting it.

I think that a better approach to get what you wanted would have been to be friendly toward them as long as they weren't flirting and only be colder if they were clearly flirting. That would have sent the message that I think you wanted to send that you're willing to be friendly but not interested in anything more.

At this point, since it sounds like they think you don't want anything to do with them, I think you probably have to take the next step if you want to be friendly. You might have to initiate a few conversations with them and be friendly, but not flirty, in order to get them to reconsider their impression of you.

[Nellyx]

Try to stay calm, you can be shy but still try to initiate contact. Maybe ask some work related questions here and there with a smile on your face, try to seem approachable! Once you hold on to this they will forget about the somewhat wrong impression they have of you now. If there is attraction to both sides you will become friends eventually, if it becomes more try to keep that private. Work life and private life need to be seperated.