Why do men have fragile / toxic masculinity?

[Noémieclara]

I'm going to speak from my own experience, my boyfriend was quite sexist and macho and for example he couldn't wear a t shirt if it had pink on it. Several months ago he lost his job, and I took advantage of this situation to require him to dress like a woman every day, and of course to maintain the house while I work. His behavior has improved. but I wanted to know why men have so much problem with their masculinity

[spuitkaas]

I wrote a whole thing but this app sucks tbh.

Okay so what I wanted to say was, it's partly rooted in misogyny and homophobia and another reason.
Men have a drive to conform to masculinity because of their will to belong to a group (group of men). This comes from the fear of being too feminine or being seen as gay. This is amplified by the idea that being feminine or gay is a bad thing.
Another reason is the unclear image of what masculinity really is. The traditional idea of masculinity is heavily influenced by war and traditional gender roles. Being able to provide, being tough, muscular and not show emotions etc. However, after the war this type of masculinity is not desired or needed anymore. Now that idea is changing and some men are still holding on to that old idea of masculinity tought by their fathers, because there is not a real alternative role model.
I think we can't blame men for their will to conform to a group, however we can make the fear of looking feminine or gay less and introduce a new masculinity role model.

[TerraLina]

Their fathers.
Their dads pushes them toward it.
You’re not a pussy so suck it up.
You like blue not pink, pink is for girls.
Society too pushes little girls and boys toward a line which says this is for boys and this is for girls


There but a very thin line that is unisex.


You can see it in little girls clothes, little girls a just barely growing yet all the girl clothes are tighter around the waist. Kid clothes shop, more girl clothes than boy clothes.


Toxic masculinity comes mostly from their fathers cause they still have this mentality that a women should cook and clean and take care of the men. So their father often times punish, embarass or belittle their boys just because he touched a barbie, hugged a male friend instead of fist bumping, etc..

[fonduegirl]

Yeah, because they don't include in the school syllables "don't be a dick" or "don't be a bitch". Honestly, I think it's high time we give up expecting kids to learn shite on their own. Because their folks, their seniors or even the internet isn't doing a fine job at molding them. Men and women have their differences, the process alone of socialization won't do. Experiences result into prejudices. Prejudices have so deep roots they can become some form of toxic identity. Gee.

[CalmYourTits]

"Several months ago he lost his job, and I took advantage of this situation to require him to dress like a woman every day, and of course to maintain the house while I work."

You sound like you are into trannys. To each their own.

[Nazgol]

Because men are SUPPOSED to be men and nothing else. There's a reason why he's masculine and would be offputting and uncomfortable if it was otherwise. We can't force men to like e. g. color pink because that's like wanting them to play with dolls and barbies. You dont see that a lot & it's rare that boys would like that

[Nazgol]

& honestly so what if he lost his job he will find another one eventually doesn't mean he has to turn into a girl lol

[Nazgol]

Also, would you like it if a lot of manly things and interests associated with them was imposed on you? I bet you would be the first one to despise it so why do you think it should be the other way around...

[likelyOK]

I would assume by the way their fathers raised them that way but also some men are more susceptible than others just like women, to peer pressure.

[Jess1812]

Why did you do that to him? I think a lot of guys want to be seen as men. They want to be tough and the head of the house and care and provide.

[TallJess]

You did that and he just accepted it?
If this is true then I am fairly surprised that you still have a boyfriend. Most guys would not do that unless they were at gun point.

[Anonymous]

Because some men are insecure. And some are just so conservative to the point where they’re gonna try and act manly as possible.

[Nicolette777]

Why are you having him dress as a women and how do? Pink frilly dresses?

[Nicolette777]

*so. Genuinely curious

[TallJess]

@Nicolette777 She is no longer active. I think it was a guy with a weird fetish who made this question, didn't got what he wanted and deleted his account.

[Nicolette777]

After reading it again, you’re probably right! This questions reaks of hidden fetishes

[TallJess]

The fact a guy would actually accept wearing a dress every day and "her" account no longer active kinda gives it away.

[Alyssa11]

Not all men do. Just men who aren’t stable in their masculinity yet.

[Anonymous]

Men look for the respect and validation of other men, not women.

Also many women like manly men, nothing wrong with that.

[Babygirl_S]

I'm concerned about the men committing crimes against women.

[Anonymous]

they can't live up to the unrealistic expectations society has of them, but they have big egos, so they pretend they are all that

[Anonymous]

It’s the testosterone

[Anonymous]

Because they are bear

[WowwGirl]

Pussies