Am I confrontational? Is being confrontational a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend recently described me as confrontational and gave me a list of examples of things I’d done:

- Last year, I cursed out and physically threatened my former roommate for complaining to our property manager and she moved out
- We just moved to the South and people call you m’am/sir and I don’t like it and I let them know because they make it seem like I’m old
- My new roommate avoids me and doesn’t speak to me and I make my presence known to her and make her speak to me rather than letting her disrespect me
- Complaining about the food and service (i. e.: slow service, food portion, and changing my entree) at a restaurant to the server

[btbc92]

You're not confrontational. You are just unhealthy and an angry person. You can be confrontational without doing all of that. Never do that without a good reason. And you're using it unhealthy.

1. If she is complaining to the manager about you, you need to just find a different person or live on your own. It makes no sense to live with people when you not living alone. You need your own apartment or place. Period. The fact that you cursed out and physically threatened somebody says you need help. PSYCHOLOGICALLY. This is no disrespect. But I suggest you think about that.
2. It is normal for them to say that in the south. It is custom. It doesn't make you old. It is because they have somewhat of a traditional mindset and it's a good thing. You wouldn't want you to call you something else for you to scream with. As long as you say that POLITELY people would respect you.
3. First of all. You cannot make anybody do ANYTHING they do not want. She avoids you because she thinks your crazy, and rightfully so. If you don't stop she will walk out too. This is a pattern of problems and you learned this behavior from somewhere.
4. If you have no logical reason for it, then you're being rude and unsatisfied. They work hard to make your meal and you do that.

To be honest, how your boyfriend is tolerating this is beyond me. Most would run. I am not saying he doesn't love you. But you can tell that if you don't change, he may one day walk. Please go seek counseling. This is destroying your life and personal happiness. And learn how to better communicate with people.