Why are people so afraid to open up?

[MikeK]

Men and women - why are people so afraid to show their true feelings?

It always makes me upset that so many people want to belong and be happy, but nobody really takes chances with others...

Rejection, fear, paranoia - these all accompany the reason behind it, I believe...

I'm willing to take a risk, but why are so many people afraid?

[toulouse]

i do not like to talk about my feelings. I am not worried about rejection. rejection, is part of life. auditions, work, teams friends, projects, you get rejected everyday in some way or another.

anyways if a person is gong to reject you, it would happen whether you talk or not. they have rejected you, before you say something. so I think that fear of rejection, as a reason-- is a lie. knowing the truth is logical. you need to know, in order to mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually move on. or it is not complete & you have ghosts.

i think people want to hang onto their fantasy world. they do not want to know the truth.

I know in my case-- I simply just do not like thinking of myself as having those sorts of feelings. emotional needs & such. but I'm honest about that. I know I do not talk abut how I feel, because it feels undignified to me. tho I do not lie either. if someone asked me how I felt, I would find a rational respectful way to explain. respect is important to me, I would not lie to someone who was being earnest.

imo people use their own feelings of fear rejection etc, what have you. as an excuse to be complete d***s to other people.

People are moat often portrayed as either :

A) a cowering idiots who can not be honest about how they feel.

or

B) taking out all their pain out on other people , by disrespecting them. They resent people who had just a bit more confidence & were able to be honest. They hate that someone can do what they can not- be clear & direct. So they try to humiliate them. which is done by being overtly offensive, or NOT being honest.

I think its better to be honest with others, when truly needed.

I think it is important for self respect, to don't go over the top doing everything based on how you feel, but at the same time, do not ignore your feelings entirely, or you can not respect your feelings.

but people like to waste time with silly things, so they can ignore feeling powerless, to real problems in the world. limiting your communication with others-- gives the illusion of control.

If someone really wanted to, they could find the inner-strength to be honest-.. but what fun would that be.. most people in certain cultures enjoy mind games & are encouraged to keep it up plain & simple.

[MikeK]

Well said

[toulouse]

=-)

[Anonymous]

I think because nowadays, it's hard to find the right people to open up too. Most people either don't give a damn, or will use it against you. A lot of people just don't listen; a person's trying to tell their deepest darkest secret to another, and that person's thinking about what they had for lunch, or how much worse their life is - something like that.

I always have odd encounters with people randomly confiding in me about some pretty personal stuff, because I just sit there and listen. We talk for a good while and the last sentence from the other person is;

" I don't know why I told you that?"

I know why they did; because I listen.

[MikeK]

Me too - I'm just as good at conversating as I am at listening though...

Most people do just wait for there chance to speak...

[Opinion Owner]

Yea, I don't have problems opening up, but I get so irritated with people who do that to me. Like just shut up and listen to me lol

[b61983]

i don't belive this either...i opened up to my man KNOWING I was going to be rejected...and I WAS. but, whatever...who cares...thats life. some people are too insecure maybe? I don't know, but I couldn't live with myself if I held everything in. id be one giant head case

[myspacemybroke]

Never really had the greatest experiences with opening up to people. Better safe than sorry in my opinion

[MikeK]

That's exactly how I used to feel, but if you shut yourself off, how can you expect anyone to know you?

[myspacemybroke]

That's kind of the point of not opening up to people: nobody knows you.

[Gregs]

sounds like you are getting more upset than the people who are not opening up to you

[MikeK]

Of course - I've learned to open up, so why can't most people? I'm just sick of hypocrises...

[Gregs]

maybe because they don't want to turn into a crying little bitch

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

It's more difficult for some people. Lack or self-confidence, doubtful, etc...

[Apodyopsis]

Fear of rejection plays a big role in it.

It's really ironic, that the first thing we learn is communication and as we grow up, we have to learn how to be hypocrites and "diplomatic" and hide our true feelings and thoughts.

I'm the absolute opposite.

If I hate/dislike/like someone, I tell them. People tend to either LOVE that about me, or hate it. Not depending on what I said, but because some people like to hear the truth.

[Anonymous]

For me, I am just a private person. I don't really fear opening up, it's just not my natural response. I've tried to hold back on my feelings before, of course ... because I've known I was being made a fool of and hate looking stupid. Pretending you don't care is sometimes a shield for the ego...

[KaKaya]

The fear of being rejected. What happens if you REALLY like this person and they say no? What happens if you someday have to deal with this person on a day to day bases...what if it becomes awkward?

The WHAT IF questions always get us.

[MikeK]

WHAT IF = plagues everyone...

I'm not just talking about asking someone out - I mean ALL areas of life...

People are so petrified to be themselves...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I think it's because we are taught not to be ourselves. There's standards set for everyone to abide by, so they will fit into the mold society creates for everyone. To be " normal" and " accepted." The struggle for so many people is, no one can fit these molds, which leaves people confused and feeling out of place. Being who you truly are, just isn't acceptable, and that's where the real problem to opening up lays.

[KaKaya]

See that used to be a problem in high school. But now that I'm in college, I don't really feel that way anymore. I don't care if I'm accepted by other people as much as the guy I like...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

A lot of people don't get over that hump though. Everyone doubts themselves at some point and time, wondering if they measure up, how people really think about them. So I guess high school last a life time...

[bel42]

Am afraid of opening up because am scared of getting hurt. Some people may take advantage of me because if am to be open , they may see my weaknesses and use them against me. It's easier to keep everything to myself.

[Shaun]

Because there are so many people out there who thrive on causing pain in others.

[MikeK]

I don't think most people "thrive" on the misery of others...

but most people are too frightened to share anything

[Shaun]

Where did I say most?

[MikeK]

Nah lol, I did

[Anonymous]

For me, it is not the fear of opening up. It is the fear of someone using that information to their advantage, not taking into account how it will effect me.

[MikeK]

Being taken? Yes, it's a legitimate concern...

[Uglyfatass]

Lets see being a guy who's not attractive and has no car, or job I should be afraid.

[Anonymous]

Because id rather have a small circle of friends that know my secrets than the whole world

[Anonymous]

I have trust issues because I've been betrayed

[Anonymous]

no one wants to be hurt,again!