Why would a sane man want a submissive girl? Is it not controlling behaviour to want your woman to obey you? How do you define submissiveness?

Question

I mean this is like to me consensual slavery. Maybe i dont understand the definition of a submissive woman? If you want a submissive woman, what you mean by that? If you mean traditional, traditional women dont have to be submissive at all. My mum is a housewife but she ain't a slave to my dad. I dont understand why a man in 2021 want a submissive woman. How is a man who wants you to obey him ain't controlling?
Definition of controlling behaviour according to google source: "Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour"
So wanting submissive housewife is just controlling behaviour then. How can this toxic behaviour a dating preference then? I dont want to be rude at all. I just dont understand what guys mean when they want a submissive traditional women since traditional women were beaten up and it was a common thing to hit your wife if she ain't obey you. Do you want to hit your woman since you want to be traditional or what exactly means traditional to you?

Not_Average · Accepted Answer

Slavery? Sounds a bit, melodramatic lol. Submission is something that women naturally want to give within a relationship as it’s in their biological makeup. I think it’s such a bad word in society because we imagine a bunch of abusive men barking orders at women all day.

My girl is submissive to me in the sense that she yields to me. I always put her needs before my own, and I always consider her in every major decision. Even when she’s not acting right, I still put her needs ahead of my own. A good leader doesn’t just bark orders at everyone. I fully understand my girl is much better at particular things than I am. For that reason, I let her know to do those things. I’m never authoritative. She naturally wants to submit to me. It’s offered voluntarily and willingly, never forceful. I love my girl so much. I could never hurt her.

The biology we possess makes this difference. For example, men have a different endocrine system and produce 7x more testosterone than women which impacts a huge part of our personality. Women bear children produce much more estradiol which gives them their more submissive nature.

Men and women are substantially different biologically, and men and women complement each other in a beautiful way if you learn to recognize how well the dynamic works together.

I had the same thoughts when I was your age, but you’ll eventually realize that these thoughts you have about men are toxic and you won’t partake in a healthy relationship. This is what modern culture tells us, and this is why divorce is so high.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Picking up from what @hugothe2nd said below, which covers pretty much all of it.

an example from my life with a submissive girlfriend.

she was very confident, independent person, a senior manager on major multinational, she is pretty much an Exec now i Australia with same organisation. Oh and she was a WUMA Instructor and fought in competitions.

She was however my collard submissive.

She gave me the honour of asking to be collard, she agreed I was suitable to be her Dom.

the entire thing about Dominant and submissive, is not bedroom bollox (that’s porn and movies), it’s about lifestyle, it’s a very emotional connection.

the entire thing is down to trust and respect.

a Dom likely has far more respect and emotional connection with their sub, than a normal vanilla couple will. They are trusting you with their physical and emotional welfare and safety.

it’s not all about spanking and bondage, it’s deeper than that, it is to satisfy the need of the submissive, not the Dom. That is a very important dynamic, this is all about the sub and their needs.

It’s wrong to have someone as use them for your own needs.

My submissive girlfriend took out a 6ft guy causing trouble in seconds.

being submissive is a very much wrongly used word at times.

Unfortunate a lot of guys watch porn and just think it’s someone to use how they want.

ilikefrogsalot · Accepted Answer

I'm a submissive woman, but I don't understand why I like being submissive. I don't know, I just like serving and obeying a man. I'll cook and clean for him, and he'll make sure we're financially stable. I'm really attracted to the lifestyle of spoiling a man with food and affection/intimacy after he gets home from work.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Just his preference I don't know about u but i want an alpha dominant man who would choke me, fuck me hard and call me his little slut. It turns me on😂🤷‍♀️ Everyone is different.

HugoThe2nd · Answer

Dominance isn't about wanting to control or take advantage of someone, it's more about the sense of trust your partner puts in you by allowing you to do that.

Submissive people aren't genuinely subservient in any way- nothing happens without their consent.
They are granting a privilege to their dominant partner, they trust that their partner has their best interest in mind- that is why they feel comfortable giving up control.

For some, giving up control can even feel psychologically beneficial, because it lifts the burden of responsibility for one's own choices.

Of course, that is what dominance and submission SHOULD be about, if the aspects of consent and trust are absent, then of course that is simply just abuse.

Aassem · Answer

Well submissive doesn't necessarily mean BDSM, I mean a guy doesn't have to be sadistic to want a submissive woman, I believe it could only simply mean that he would want her to just lie there in bed and he would be doing all the work and dominating her sexually please her without humiliation or sadism, like just eating her while she's giving up total control to him.. A submissive girl is opposite to a dominant girl not a dominatrix. A dominant girl is one that likes to take control in sex that's all without also further humiliation to her partner or anything kinky.

On the other hand some guys do want BDSM, it's some sort of a fetish that has been promoted in movies and books making it seem cool, but I believe it's sick.

kkirk4442 · Answer

I don't understand wanting a submissive woman. I want a woman who has her own mind, and knows what she wants, and knows what she is about, and can make her own decisions. I want an equal, intelligent, adult partner, not someone who is subordinate, like an employee or a child.

Chiaram2003 · Answer

Submissive is to trust him and like with my boyfriend I do. I like knowing what he likes. He likes to know what I like to.
I also luv making him happy n just putting my trust in his opinions etc. it’s also super hot sometimes. And he shows me what he likes me to wear …I know he’s into my outfit. Sometimes it’s jus easier

ceraunophile · Answer

It's not a consensual slavery. This sounds like a master/slave bdsm relationship.

SmolSlav · Answer

I think there is definitely a healthy way to have those power dynamics, it all comes down to healthy communication and the dominant side (whether it is a man or a woman is irrelevant) respecting limits and boundaries set by both sides.

karaspara · Answer

It's usually an agreed thing sexually between both parties not in all aspects of life

DaveToo · Answer

Nope. There's just too much of this submissive shit floating around.

Anonymous · Answer

You could use similar logic to say if a white guy wants a white girl then he must be racist. Which we know isn't sufficient evidence of racism. Yeah, he could be racist, but most likely not.

Anonymous · Answer

How is it toxic to want a girl who does as she is told? I'm not going to beat a girl but I would prefer a girl who always says what I want to hear and does what I want her to

egykimo · Answer

Submissiveness should be only in bed (if it should exist anyway).. other than that the two persons should treat each other respectively and with honor

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Submission and dominance is more than that.  It's also about mutual respect

sixtyeightplusone · Answer

I want a submissive woman as you describe, and I will provide for her and she will obey me

Anonymous · Answer

This is pretty weird, yes.

Why would a sane man want a submissive girl? Is it not controlling behaviour to want your woman to obey you? How do you define submissiveness?

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Why would a sane man want a submissive girl? Is it not controlling behaviour to want your woman to obey you? How do you define submissiveness?

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