At this point, I don't want to say more than a hi to someone, even my "hi" is embarrassing. Even though I'm not a people person, I'm always excited to meet people but unfortunately I get too excited and ruin things with my shyness & awkwardness and of course go through a mental stress for a simple mistake.
I also feel very foolish, I get easily confused when talking to someone and it takes me some time to understand them. Now I understand why since when I was little I never got along with people.
I'm honestly tired of this repetitive cycle so I think staying away from people and cutting off any type of conversation will do me just good. What do you think?
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If I stop talking to people will that help me stop doing embarrassing things?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
1. It might sound mean but is actually comforting - people pay not that much attention to others, especially in a negative sense. The thing you think you did bad they haven’t even noticed. If they did they forgot after 2 minutes. They are many times also thinking like you, judging their actions. Think, if somebody else did something you di felt you did and was embarrassing, what would you think. 2. Instead on focusing on yourself, focus on them in a sense that you really want to get to know them and make them feel good while talking with you (at least that’s what i assume) So shift focus to them, listen, be curious, see if they feel the same way shy or embarrassed and tell them the comforting words you would like to hear if it was reverse, maybe they will appreciate it 3. all the negative things come out of boredom, lack of exercise/endorphins, wrong diet (too much coffee, alcohol, carbohydrates, all make mood swings when in excess), lack of ability to cope with stress in some other areas if life and so on. Improve your mood and thoughts are thoughts, not always an accurate representation of reality, and are hyperbola of what might happen to protect you. If you are a happy person, you will make other people happy too. There is too much negativity everywhere. 4. It sounds like an obvious thing but the more you practice saying hi and even if you think you did something wrong, unless somebody tells you you hurt them ir what not, you continue conversation like nothing happened, the less you will pay attention to those feelings and reprogram yourself to focus on something else instead, like a good feeling you get when you are close to people you like.
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Opinion Owner
+1 y
Have you already been embarrassed that you asked a question to random unknown people?
It depends on the questions, I feel intense emotions of embarrassment when I ask genuine questions and get negative replies, especially if the negative replies are referred to me.
I can only tell you this is the case for majority if society at least at one point in time. Communication is a skill, it can be learned, people who have no such concern just had more experience with it earlier and was enforced through positive feedback. You should learn this too. Take it as a research and not personally and really talk to people about whatever.
And if you get negative reply, then get to the next person. There is no person in the world who is liked by everybody so why care, it’s ok and it’s normal. Well unless they are abusive then definitely cut short the contact with them and move on to somebody else
Honestly I use to feel the same as you than i was involved in an accident out of my control now I have a studder when I talk sometimes.. what I began doing is saying well fuck it.. I didn't hurt anyone.. It won't matter next month that I was late today.. take every day as it comes try to make the best out of it and when you make a stupid mistake like bitting into your earser instead of your apple just laugh at yourself.. its almost like if you say ohh my I thought my eraser was my apple you know its long day when.. people are a lot nicer to you about it. Also a joyful heart is good medicine!
Plus I use to love playing soccer.. I was a good blocker and shooter I wasn't good at bringing it up the feild myself would get stolen a lot id beat myself up about it when it was ruining the joy in the game even if we still won id think about that one goal that he got after he stole the ball from me.. now what I wouldn't give to just play again to run again even.. so appreciate yourself and your not dumb!
Realize that two people can fight and both be right.. for example 9 one says its a 9 other says its a 6.. both are right it just depends on the angle you look at it so dont allow yourself to feel less than for thinking differently than others! Your opinion matters!
Unfortunately, no. It's still possible to not speak, but still do embarrassing things.For example, I generally shut-up, keep my head down, and get stuff done at work. Yet, I once turned around with my hand extended to reach for something… and smacked my (male!) employer's… behind. (😫 How I wish I realized his location beforehand!) Notice that this did not involve any spoken words.
At this point, I've learned to cut inevitable losses and expect social f—-ups, so it's just a matter of inevitable damage-control, relations-management, and maybe even preemptive warnings when I meet people, so they know what to expect from 1st meeting, what's normal to me, advanced notice that noting (esp. 'nothing bad') is meant, and my friendly intent regardless of what I'll inevitably do in the future.
Good luck, sister in the Messiah! Rely on Him for wisdom & guidance. To deal with the excessive & compromising levels of nervousness, address the causes of the said problem: Try to not attach emotions to desired/undesired outcomes. Try not to care (too much) about what happens. Let what will happen happen, as written into fate by the All-Knowing & All-Benevolent. (He may have saved you from hidden threats, people, and/or scenarios that would have harmed you, but you never realized it, since the trap never activated on you?)
And when you are calmer from this realization and can live in the moment, perhaps your movements will be less erratic.
Also, consider researching mindfulness. If needed, consider getting help from a experts: therapists, masters of socialization, elders, etc.
I Think if something serious was happening your confidence would be overwhelming you would take control and handle it if you were in that position that's because timing and a must-do situation
Maybe in life you're feeling something and you want to act on it but if you get a chance to think about it or if the wrong thing you said you change your mind you have to make a choice to follow through that's like going skydiving you put on your parachute go up into the plane and you get to the door to step out you have an instructor on the back of you is there to guide you at you you said yes you want to learn how to do this but you get to that door and you just don't want to do it because you were scared it's understandable but you can't be that way all your life you have to commit if you're going to bring it on step up to that door smile say your prayer and jump and then enjoy it it is an experience after the shoot opens you relax a little more and go with the flow Instagram comes closer and closer and your feet touch the ground you will have a sensation events for your body like never before and you will want to do it again but in order sensation in order to do any of it you have to follow through could you imagine going up in that airplane 5 to 10 times and not jumping it has to do something to your psyche sometimes you have to just have to go for it it's a moment in time without that experience there is no moment so I don't know what you're talkin about being embarrassed or anything like that but what you allow yourself to feel the sensation of following through I think that will help you
I went to a lot of that when I was younger they can understand it but then I found out what what's happening and why I was going through it they didn't have the internet when I was your age but I just looked up on Google and there's a test you can take to see if you're an empath that might explain something if you are an empath
As a teenager your hormones are making you more self conscious.
Relax girl. Nobody expects you to be a genius. You aren't Elon musk or Jeff Bezoz... or Vladimir putin...
You are allowed to make mistakes until you are 30 and have no clue about life until you are 20..
You are just 16.. Do embarrassing thing. Don't worry... It's cute!. In eyes of everyone above 30..
But if you cut yourself off from people.. You will open window to mental issues like. Depression and Mania or even become a psycho with time.. Don't do this mistake..
I am 24 with a college degree and I do stupid embarrassing shit daily... Type of shit that cannot even say.. 😂🤣🤣 Just take it easy girll
I have the exact same struggles. I can have issues with relationships and communication because of my autism. It’s not that I don’t want to try, but I was born with a very different brain than most people. I admit, it’s frustrating 😕 But I would encourage both of us to try.
Same I don't have autism, but thanks to a CT scan, it was able to tell that I'm neurodivergent, I'll be going to a neurologist next week, and I'll be doing an MRI scan as well to see whats really going on because this is really tiring.
Avoiding people will not help the situation. You shouldn't hide from the world. Take a breath and go and say Hi. Most people will not bite you and I'm sure everyone would like to meet you. You don't have to recite the Gettysburg Address you just need to be friendly. Like everything else, it gets easier with practice. I teach at a local college. I started as working as an IT manager at a different school and I got the opportunity to teach a computer hardware course. I never taught before and I was a little afraid I would screw it up. I prepared the best I could but still found myself floundering. I stopped for a few seconds and then i told the class some things about my career and went around the room and had each student tell the class when their future plans were. After establishing that rapport with the students things went a lot better after that.
Just don’t try so hard, focus on being agreeable, if you don’t understand someone it doesn’t matter when you barely know people. If someone says an opinion you don’t understand. Say something like, that sounds interesting. Or I never thought of it like that. Or simple phrases like sounds good. When people make assumptions, or try to figure someone out it puts people off. People just want to relax and have a conversation not feel like they are talking to a psychologist. Especially one who is not qualified.
unless you have something wrong with you its gonna get better with age and experience what I like to do if I fumble my words or something similar I stop and maybe take a breath in and restart with more care this time🤔there is no shame in taking your time
Oh for sure. You'll eventually start enjoying talking to yourself or paint a face on a volleyball and start calling it Wilson. Seriously, this is a rather dumb question and I'm not sure why I'm giving my opinion. But even if you're somewhat of a loner, a modicum of interaction with other humans is paramount to one's success in everything worth your time on this ball of dirt.
The best solution is just to do EVEN MORE awkward shit until you desensitize yourself to the fear of doing it. Truth is most people just don't care enough to judge you in any meaningful way when you mess up. The only one judging you is you. So focus on making an ally of yourself and you'll never feel embarrassed again. ✌
It gets better with age. I was always awkward around strangers and even some people I was always around. I learned with practice how to be an actor. A modified version of me. I learned to be less awkward the more I practiced. I hate doing it but I'm very much an introvert. Like extreme introvert. So giving a forced persona of men is what I've learned to do. Don't give up, keep practicing until you find something that works for you.
If you dtop talking to people you won't overcome it. What you need to do is develop self consciousness. Be a little more conscientious that way you'll always be aware if everything you say or do.. it'll help you choose your words carefully and be more aware of how you behave.
Now, Being conscientious is a curse in of itself but I think it's a lesser one that what you're currently dealing with now.
Naah, it kinda used to happen to me too, but now when I look back at things I think that maybe if I had not thought much then, how great it would have been. Not an advice to go all out and all, just stop thinking much. You'll be alright.
You have to work on that slowly but surely. Start talking to people on the site that will help it’s a good start. When I talk to you, you sound pretty good
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