Girls, why you not respond back to a guy if he's being nice and trying to talk about that interest you?

[Anonymous]

I find it really rude if a guy tries to talk about something where he puts some thought into it about something she may like and discuss about it or even girls who leave you on read if you apologize to her. I have tried everything, I have tried to be myself, I have tried to change my look, I tried to approach girls in person, I tried online, nothing works. Also, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't party and I don't want to show off on social media like many people want to these days. I'm a guy who's in shape, who's talkative but also keeps to himself, I am not some weirdo guy who sends dick pics nor do I make a girl feel uncomfortable, I cook good food, I got accepted to law schools, I do my own chores (not mamma's boy), I stopped talking to guys who were a bad influence in my life, I am not sexist towards women and right now I am just focusing on getting in better shape, finishing my masters and maybe doing law school afterwards and saving money for my own place one day.

Any girl who reads this just understand, girls are scared to go up to guys to talk to them and if you think I am some ugly weirdo. I've had girls tell me, you're a smart guy, you know how to hold down a convo and you're handsome. Therefore, please don't assume it's because 1) Looking in the wrong places, 2) No money/no job, 3) Don't take care of your physique/personal hygiene, 4) Lack of education or whatever the case may be. When I see a girl who gossips like she's 18 years old or still partying at 30 then I think it's safe to say the finger shouldn't always be pointed at the guy. I am trying and whether any girl who reads this or even responds to this doesn't believe me, God knows my intentions.

[Anonymous]

There are several reasons...
1. Maybe they are just immature? I'm not saying that you are going after young girls and that's why they are immature. I'm saying because they haven't chosen to mature emotionally, no matter what age.
2. They are intimidated by you and don't think they are deserving of someone who has their life together. Maybe they think they aren't good enough or are trying to work on themselves at the moment. (career, emotionally, etc.) They think that once you know more about them, you won't like them.
3. They aren't attracted to you. Even if you are handsome, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Celebrities have a lot at their disposal to make themselves attractive, be that clothing, photoshop, etc. Despite that, there is not one male or female celebrity that every girl finds attractive, no matter how hot they are.
4. They don't feel the chemistry. This one is tricky because you can't make it happen or explain it, you just kind of know it's there. Chemistry is kind of effortless though. The girls feel chemistry with you when they don't have to force themselves to talk to you or to be physical with you; it comes natural to them.

There isn't anything wrong with you, it's just that love is hard and it's a really difficult to find someone that you like and that they like you back as well. I mean the average person falls in love 4 times in their life, and very rarely do those people love them back. That's why the whole concept of "soul mate" exists.

[Asker]

After a decade, pursuing girls has become a chore, it doesn't even seem fun. When I say "fun" I don't mean sexually, because I'm still a virgin anyways. You pointed it out in your answer, which I do agree with, but it's also me being at the wrong place at the wrong time, few examples.

1) High school - Approached a girl to ask her to prom, she said no but gave me her number, her jealous ex boyfriend from another school heard about it and got angry and called my house and threatened if I take her he would kick my ass. I told him meet me at the school then because I was not intimidated by him, he never showed. I ended up note going to prom, because the two schools that shared the same hall were my school and her idiot ex boyfriends school (just my luck) to top that off, prom date fell on the day of my birthday, never went because of her and that idiot. I wish I knocked his ass out.

2) This girl liked me, she called me almost everyday, asked me to meet up and etc. Months go by and I figured to buy her flowers/chocolates ($70+) and have them sent to her work. The next day, without telling her, she said I'm dealing with another guy. Obviously this devastated me, I called the flower place and told them to cancel the order and refund my money, they refused and got angry at me. I said can you just send them to my house, the shop got angry at me again and said fine but its a one time thing. Got the flowers, and tossed them in the trash.

[Asker]

3) In my teens, dealt with a girl who later and one day got into an argument, she turns around and boasts about a guy in her radar that had more money than me because he was a drug dealer and she was racist on top of that.

4) Having intellectual, mature convos with girls only to be ghosted or blocked.

I don't have much faith in love, or girls and I am a fairly patient guy. I'm surprised at myself I am not running to a strip club getting a lap dance from strippers or dropping my values of don't drink and don't do drugs for a girl who does just to be with someone. To be honest, it's unheard of for a guy to go through this and still have remain positive to women/girls. It's easier to go insane or become a sexist with my history/experience.

[Asker]

Two more examples of wrong place at the wrong time -- Bumping into a girl I liked and she seemed to have feelings for me from school in places such as the mall or once in a restaurant and couldn't say anything to her in the restaurant because she was in a rocky relationship with a guy she was not sure about.

A girl I worked with I liked and seemed cool, but she was married to guy I was cool with at work. I left that company one day and went back only to hear she divorced him and now single. In my mind i'm thinking wtf, why doesn't shit ever line up for me.

[Asker]

sorry for all the answers, but every girl I mentioned are all different girls, I have put myself out there and had the balls to do it.

[Opinion Owner]

1) It's high school. All relationships are terrible so I wouldn't think about it too much. It was a crazy situation and her ex was weird. She was also weird for letting that happen. She should have told her ex to back off. Maybe she was too scared.
2) She was probably dating multiple guys casually until she liked one enough to commit to him. That was pretty inconsiderate to lead you on but if you didn't ask her to be your girlfriend or you guys didn't talk about how serious you are then she didn't necessarily do anything wrong. Also, if she was young she probably wasn't looking for a serious relationship but ended up liking a guy enough to pursue him. Again, you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe just discuss how serious you guys are before buying expensive gifts.

[Asker]

#2) I was 24, she was 20, the last convo I had with was June 2016 and she said "I know how much you liked me" but I still got scorned. That guy who she chose ended up dumping her eventually.

[Asker]

And from #1) That girl is now married to another guy, the odd thing is, 14 years later I actually reached out only to apologize on Facebook, she read my comment and decided to add me to Facebook which I don't understand. Why add a guy on Facebook if you're not going to talk to him. I deleted Facebook eventually.

[Opinion Owner]

3) She was racist so it's a win on your part that it didn't work out. Also, you don't need someone who is always threatening to leave you or doesn't respect and truly appreciate you. This is also a crazy situation like the first one. I guess you've lead a pretty eventful life. 😂 My life is boring in comparison. Another thing to keep in mind, she clearly wasn't someone who's opinion should matter since she put a drug dealer above someone who has a respectful job and lifestyle.

4) Probably only thought of you as a friend and got bored? It's a very cowardly thing to do but I have ghosted people as well. Usually I do it because I don't know how to tell them how I feel and I took too long to send anything so it's just easier for me to never speak to them again. Or if they are more invested in the relationship and I don't like them romantically but don't want to tell them I don't like them. I did this more in high school though and I really regret it.

I don't know if you're Christian but I personally would just pray about it. Then focus on things other than girls. (I'm sure you're not only focused on girls but still) Stressing about it just puts more pressure on you. I do applaud your patience and character though. It's very admirable.

Also, I don't know where you met these women but maybe you can try meeting them in an event that you enjoy. I have a friend who met his girlfriend while they were both on the track team and they seem pretty happy. Another friend of mine met her boyfriend through someone introducing them to each other. Maybe they just weren't similar enough to you. I know opposites attract but there is such a thing as being too different from each other.

[Asker]

What I'm trying to say is, girls never gave me a chance, they went by an assumption about me and if there's one thing I know about you girls its you hate to be labelled or judged or have other assume something about you, so how do you think that makes me feel for a solid 15+ years of my life. I know guys from high school out who are happily married and no insults to them but I feel like I offer more. But what am I doing in my life, if I am trying to perfect myself in the eyes of girls, then obviously it ain't working, maybe it's time to be the complete opposite. Sleep around, be a dick, don't cook, be lazy, because for some odd reasons there are dudes in life who get girls who act that way. I don't know why girls find guys like that "sexy". If we live in a world filled with flings and immaturity of people in their late 20s, 30s or even 40s, then I swear on my soul, and on my grandfathers and grandmothers grave, I give up man.

[Opinion Owner]

Two more examples of wrong place at the wrong time -- Bumping into a girl I liked and she seemed to have feelings for me from school in places such as the mall or once in a restaurant and couldn't say anything to her in the restaurant because she was in a rocky relationship with a guy she was not sure about.

A girl I worked with I liked and seemed cool, but she was married to guy I was cool with at work. I left that company one day and went back only to hear she divorced him and now single. In my mind i'm thinking wtf, why doesn't shit ever line up for me.

Yeah, timing isn't ever in our favor. For the rocky relationship girl, it's kind of the same situation as the first girl. She wasn't ever going to be fully committed because of her ex. For the second one, that's unfortunate. Did anything ever come of her? Or did she move to another company when you got back?

[Asker]

I used to work at Best Buy which is the place her and I worked at. When I quit Best Buy one day and went back to buy some stuff, a former work colleague said "oh she divorced that guy and she's with another guy". In my mind I was thinking WTF? Had I stayed with this company things could have been different. I don't know what else I can do, you mentioned meet a girl here or there. I work, help out my parents and doing my masters. Even my guy friends don't make time for me because they are busy with their own lives, which I get, but I would not rely on them to help me find someone. I tried to be apart of different clubs on campus during my undergrad years but even right now where I live university activities are closed due to Covid. I don't know where else to turn to. I could approach a girl who catches my eye walking by but the likelihood is, she will either say the following or do the following,

1) Sorry, I have boyfriend or husband
2) Not interested
3) Ok, sure here's my IG or phone number -- but that will be out petty/forcing herself to. I'm sure if I
message her she'll ghost me with 1-2 weeks.

I have trained myself when it comes to girls, expect the worse, because the worse will always happen. I have a better chance being a solider in Iraq and coming out alive, then having success with a girl today.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it does seem like it even from a girls perspective. A lot of guys seem to only like girls who will sleep with them or are really stuck up and materialistic. Maybe try being indifferent to them 😂 If you try the other stuff (not cooking, sleeping around) you probably won't be happy with yourself or the girls you attract anyway.

[Asker]

You know the luck I’ve had…it’s like if you see a guy get a line drive baseballs in the nuts, and then one minute later another line drive baseball hits the same guy in the nuts…and you think lmao, what are the odds? Yep I think that’s me when it involves girls.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, well I wish you the best of luck. Let me know if anything ever works out and I'll do the same. :)

[Asker]

What if the next girl in life I approach you :-|

[Opinion Owner]

That would be pretty crazy. 😂 But if I meet anyone that's kind of like you, I'll ask if they are you 😂

[Asker]

Ok. But with my luck you might kick me in the balls to. I’ll give you an update and you’ll be like that was you? Sorry you startled I thought you were a creeper stepping out of the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

I only don't respond to guys who creep me out for some reason, and that's probably true for most girls. Once you creep us out, whatever the reason, there's not anything you can do to change our mind.

[Asker]

Yea but creep out is if the guy is sexual, asks really personal questions. Few days ago I messaged this girl her take on some sneakers that released and wanted her take on it, she responded. I said something else and then another comment for a second and she didn’t reply back after 3 days + I just figure as a guy if a girl doesn’t want to respond she has something against me even if I’m trying to talk about things she’s interested in.

[kaylealealea]

there will be the right girl for you.