Why are men known for solving problems while women vent?

Question

This is just an observation. Men will have an issue that they want with a solution.

Women are more focused on empathy and listening skills. Relieving stress is seemingly more important than wanting a definite resolution.

I think society is responsible for difference in how each communicate and handle difficult situations.

People will say this is sexist. But I also think there are other factors that play into it. It seems like men will only vent and feel reluctant to problem solve when they feel powerless. Especially if they can't actively fix it themselves.

I'm a girl and this is what generally frustrates me about certain female centric problems. An example is the gender bias in medical research/STEM. Lack of funding and awareness on reproductive female disorders. When there are legitimate issues that need to be solved by taking action, they chronically vent and complain. It can go on for very long if you allow it. I think they expect men to solve it for us. Even when there's proof of them not wanting to help.

Whenever you suggest or propose an idea, you're accused of being dismissive and insulting. I've previously been guilty of this myself. But now I've trained myself to not approach issues this way.

FilmGuy93 · Accepted Answer

I think you are solving the problems. I just think you're solving them in a way that isn't rewarded by society.

You would enjoy hearing Jordan Peterson's thoughts on these issues, because breaks down the differences between men and women in a very mathematical and factual way. Even though you haven't "solved" the problem, you're trying to solve the problem in a way you understand to solve problems. It's just that your way doesn't revolve around knowing a solution, it revolves around finding someone who might see a solution

My take on answering your question is that I think we men have a certain arrogance about us. We instinctively believe we can come up with a solution to our problems, but that's now how your mind works. How many times have you heard your mom say "honey, I think we should just ask for directions," and your dad insisted he knows the way? You, very understandably thought "hey, I don't have the ability to solve the problem of getting more women in STEM on my own, why don't I raise awareness about this problem and see if I can't get some other people who are inclined in that direction?" Your way of solving the problem is social interaction.

Men tend not to be as social as women, so our way of solving the problem is work directly on the problem because it's easier than trying to use social skills that we haven't developed. Women, on the other hand, tend to care about people and want to interact with people, so this method of crowd sourcing a solution works more naturally with your skill set.

jasco · Accepted Answer

Now you said their is gender bias in STEM. Let me ask you this, do you think that if someone truly 100% wanted to be in STEM wouldn't be in stem just of someone else's thought process and opinions. I mean if you truly wish to do that than why would someone's else opinion stop you from doing it? 2nd For hundreds of thousands of years, men were the ones solving problems until the late 1900s when women wanted to do more for themselves and it was accepted. Of course with the invention of the internet information is transferred much more quickly than the news papers and telephone lines. Women do vent a lot more than men. However that doesn't mean that women can't solve issues, nor does it mean that men aren't capable of venting either. Yes it is true that men enjoy problem solving and it's true that for the most part when dealt with a problem most men will try to find a way to fix it however as time goes on women more or less are starting to do so as well. As for why women aren't trying to fix other women's problems well I honestly have no clue. Maybe they are trying and you just haven't done enough research to find them or maybe your right, who knows? Also I am sorry but I don't know any company owner/manager who would just dismiss a idea without hearing it out nor do I know anyone who is a leader that just insults his employee's for that either. So where are you getting that information from because I loved to see it for myself.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Observation? Or another untrue generalization based off gender.. Yes, I "vented" about a job I hate! I also came up with a resolution.. got another job with way better pay, better benefits, better work schedule, and pretty sure it will be a way better work environment than the current one.. Just because people vent, don't mean they aren't capable of also coming up with a plan/way to resolve the issues.. And uhh men are known to vent, too not just women.. And not all men are more capable of resolving their issues than all women are..
I'll never understand why people keep trying to explain or divide things by gender and not personality, way of thinking, which is different for all men as well as all women. Just being a man or a woman doesn't make you more or less capable...

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

So just for clarification.. Just because we want to vent, doesn't mean we don't problem solve lol.
One of my best friends tries to be a "problem solver". The thing is I'm not talking and venting to him so he can solve my problem. I'm a grown ass women, I'm already doing that myself. I'm already aware of how to solve the problem and I'm already in the process of doing so, but I would like someone to listen to how frustrating or irritating it is that the problem arrived.
I think there's this misunderstanding that people think we want them to solve things for us, but in reality I just want to talk about the audacity of some bitch having the nerve to do whatever.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Stop being surrounded by excess of women while ignoring men in your company at all. Majority of the times this happens since childhood. Females among themselves do nothing but boys, gossip, fashion. Thats all they have to talk. Rest other issues in life are just vented out amongst the group to give social and emotional support. From above it looks like that which it has to coz it was made to but from below every girl in the room is just waiting for another to tell everything about herself so that each one has each ones trump card. This in large way doesn’t solve but accumulates. It just get psychologically solved and that too for the immediate now. Had them got persistent and permanent solution they would not have indulged for the grouping again and again which has nothing new except dresses they wear which they seek life into bloody lifeless things.
These kind of girls when they meet first time a guy may. be in a bit close way lets a lover type they get fascinated and now venting at 2 places rather than one which now instead of boyfriend has become a good avenue to vent and life with girls after this boyfriend is such that now 1 more issue to discuss and other envy this. It goes on and on. They don’t understand the importance of sex from early age or other physical acts. Boys go with love but girls come with issues. Most of the time. The question was highly needed for and raised good.
When you term them disorders they now think that now they have been called patient which already they were but unknowingly but now recognised which creates another traumatic experience ending up in a girl gatherings again. Start living with guys. Solve mysteries

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I really don’t agree with the question title.

Why are men known for solving problems while women vent?

I have a Software Engineering team with embedded hardware engineering who report directly to me, I set the team up.

when you set a task or have an issues, problem to solve, women will often take a different tack to the problem to an all male team.

Over the last few years I’ve ran the team directly, it has shown this time after time, so much so, that I promoted one of the girls to be a manager of another team.

What has been shown to play a part us culture, the girls on the team need to feel empowered enough to challenge and have their say.

I had friends within the military leadership command school come and give talks, look at training etc.

it works and the plan is to roll it out to other locations.

Novacane · Answer

I don't think society is responsible, that's just how women are naturally in situations like those they tend to go off based on their feeling, how that made them feel VS men are more logical when handling problems, men don't stop and think how that made them feel they think, this is what is wrong now what can I do about it. And for the lack of representation of women from STEM fields, that's all based on the person. Those fields have tried to push for more women in those fields but those fields are just not interesting for women and they choose other paths.

Jake99999 · Answer

Yes I have kind of noticed that in some women too. And with my partner. She is a bit like that. Sometimes just wants me to listen. But I don’t like to generalize. Not all women are like that. I think it’s just something to keep in mind. A lot of guys (but not all) are wired to solve problems of all kinds. We just go there. And some women just want someone to listen and empathize. Maybe later go to solution mode. And if I am honest, I too sometimes want my partner to just listen a bit.

I think it’s all good though. If you look at it like this…people talk things over and as a part of that - some ideas may come up - but a big part of it is the emotional process of working through it. So if you tend to want to jump to solution, maybe catch yourself and be a good listener first. And maybe later you get into solution mode - together.

If you care for your partner you will learn and take the time to be patient and listen.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because as a guy I'm not happy about a problem as long as it's not fixed for me talking about a problem without looking for a way to fix it seems senseless.
For me just talking about a problem is no stress relieve especially if the other person just wants to talk about the problem.
That's just building the stress because it's just making the problem I can't fix more obvious.
It's just pointing out that we can't solve it, that's not a happy state to be in.
I've tried talking about problems without wanting to solve right away and it always made me miserable.

genericname85 · Answer

because men historically were those who would have to fix the problems that women complained about xD so women aren't so focused on fixing.

i often have that issue with one of my female friends. she gets mad at me when i try to come up with solutions for the issues she's telling me. she just wants me to listen and "just be empathic" and i don't know what the heck that is supposed to even mean. like of course i understand that it sucks. but why would you want to just acknowledge that it sucks and not do anything about it? i don't get that.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Ah you're so much more rational than the other girls but still get "frustrated by... "the gender bias in medical research/STEM." What the fuck? You sound exactly like every other hysterical woman I've ever met. Try again.

You are irrationally grouping yourself (like most women) in the category of women. By adopting a useless identity you render yourself useless. My identity is not "man". My identity is my beliefs goals and desires. Anyone hung up on their own biological situation is weak, ineffective and morally degenerate.

weeee · Answer

So many people in the replies going "men are more logical and women are more emotional". i never see any sources for such claims. I would love to hear more on that.

And as for this post, I've never noticed this myself so i dont really know what to say other than that i dont agree.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s due to yin and yang
Men and women have to cooperate together. Together we make a better world.
But world is dirty and dark and muddy because we are oppressing men sooo much!! Families are d to my. Communities are getting destroyed.
We are stealing their testosterone instead and becoming the “dude”. No , we have to be what nature gave us , femininity , act relaxed cool suave chill lovely kind!! Let the man do the hard stuff because they are truly borned
to do that , man want to feel like they solve things and they DO. Man can wake up early make money provide they love this shit. But women acting as dude and women shutting man from being themself is destroying the YIN and YANG.
Men are good thankfully you exist. Sorry this world and society is killing you.

Oigit · Answer

There always exceptions to a given rule when it comes to people. Because humans are individuals. So the same problem could cause a alpha male to vent and possibly cry. But that same problem could be quickly solved by a woman. It does not matter if you are a man or woman if you start thinking of the idea of society, please go out a get to know several people of different make ups as individuals.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Men tend to have a very pragmatic approach to things where as women tend to have a more emotional approach. We are often able to distance ourselves from the problem to get an outside perspective and see it from different angles, which makes problem solving a lot easier. We also like a quite life and that involves fixing problems so our partners can't moan about them.

whenthedankhitsig · Answer

These are primitive social patterns you’re talking about. Human’s haven’t socially evolved to adapt to modern day society, since that doesn’t happen within a few thousand years. primitively, men are problem solvers and women get problems solved. I don’t mean this in a sexist manner whatsoever, but this is literally how humans are socially wired from birth. Sure, it might be different for some due to their upbringing or whatever, but that’s just a regular deviation.

hahahmm · Answer

Because feminism is a lie. Men and women aren't equal. There are major biological differences. Yes, some women are very similar to men but very few. There's also lots of men who act like women these days but that's another story.

By the way there's lots of problems men face that haven't been solved like prostate cancer. Truth be known many problems were actually created/made worse by 'mad scientists' and greedy food manufacturers to begin with.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a stereotype, but like most stereotypes there is a lot of truth in this one. It is a well known and accepted fact that women enjoy venting about things that are bothering them, and they want to be listened to and heard more than anything else.

Men want to solve problems. It's just our nature. When we hear someone describing a problem, the first place our minds go is to think about how to resolve the problem. We don't naturally think about the emotional need of the woman to just be heard. Some people call that "emotional intelligence", or lack thereof. But that is a bit dismissive of the realities of the differences between men's and women's brains.

These differences are mostly genetic, not societal as you suggest.

dustybiker · Answer

Uh… problem solver here. I was telling people where to sit in the car when I was two, based on order they would be dropped off. Thankfully I know less flakey woman then woman who are self-sufficient. It always appears it’s more the way they have learned to behave. (As you implied) You get more help when you attempt to solve a problem yourself then when you act like you can’t.. In my experience. Effort is priceless.

ICanHazHelp · Answer

Someone could say toxic masculinity at why we don't vent but at that point I feel as if that's not exactly it either we try to solve it because we can feel that were men and we have to cos that's what society would want but also because we don't want to bring other people into it and them getting hurt as a result hope it helps.

MCheetah · Answer

Because men generally solve problems in society and women generally complain until men come along and solve their problems for them. (I bet you some soyboy will come along and try to accuse me of being "sexist" for this.)

IcedLemonade · Answer

Yes they want to tell you about their problems but will find it insulting when you tell them a solution. They just want their issues fixed, like how a baby cries, it doesn't care what your ideas are, what you think, etc it just wants you to solve its problem. Thats why we say women are children.

Guanfei · Answer

Because men are logical and women emotional. It's in our nature, it's not society or whatever, we're made like that, it's our instinct.
We see a problem, we solve it, in the most direct way. Today it might be useless, but there was a time when solving a problem quickly and efficiently allowed survival.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Because there are men to take care of a woman.

While men need to take care of their own problems.

There are buddies and good women/wives that do take care of the man these days.

But to look way back, how we evolved into what we are today.

RasberrySlushPuppy · Answer

Funniest thing a guy and girl were walking together and he wasn't looking when he's crossing so abruptly stopped and he collided with her arm as he outstretched it to stop her. Normally you'd apologize and everything's cool, no she complained "im not okay you "hit" my arm and now it hurts" 😂 ✓

Anonymous · Answer

Women vent because it’s more efficient to just complain about things until someone else fixes your problem. Men fix problems because venting won’t and women won’t.

When I solve a problem, I don’t have to deal with it anymore. Women’s approach is seemingly to complain then just re-expose themselves to the problem, until it goes away. Then I guess hook up with a problem solver to make their lives easier.

Anonymous · Answer

It's something spiritual. Men's masculine (active) energy is turned toward the material world while Women's active energy is turned toward the energy world. Even if the Women has more masculine energy than a Man, the way she uses it is a bit different and the powerholders are perverting it by dividing people from each other and are using that cleavage to their own advantage. They have knowledge that is withheld from Society. I'm still not 100% sure if it's necessary though.

Pyrofox · Answer

Men, stick to the facts not the emotions. SIMPLE as that. Give us the problem we will find or if we got to we will make a solution.

TexasRed95 · Answer

Men tend to be more logical than emotional with their way of thinking. So we rationalize and take care of the problem. Not all people are the same so take this with a grain of salt.

StunningANDbrave · Answer

Because men think logically and logically if the problem gets solved you should stop bitching. But more often then not you don't care about the problem being solved you care about the other person validating your feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

Because... "An example is the gender bias in medical research/STEM" Can you provide any evidence of this ^?

humpbackjack · Answer

If you come at me complaining I’m going to give solutions if you just want to vent I’m the wrong person and I’ll tell you flat out

Mofunfour20 · Answer

If you understand the difference between estrogen and testosterone this is an easy one

michiganMan6969 · Answer

Men are expected to hold back their emotions. We're supposed to be tough and emotionless, but sensitive.

You should also note by venting and dealing with their emotions properly women live longer than men.

RenegadeSailor · Answer

Because men are hunters, women are berry pickers.  We evolved with different mental firmware for solving different problems.

Fuentes · Answer

It's human nature which a lot of people will deny but if it's not true then why do humans automatically have this instinct?

convo_king89 · Answer

Women are known for everyone to feel bad for them whereas guys are expected to deal with it.

crazysassypaws21 · Answer

hmmm never really thought about it but guess i am more to stress and keep stuff inside

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Because we've evolved to try not to be vulnerable because we were once hunters. It's a survival instinct.

Ryfyle · Answer

Men just fucking be. Like fuck, the best thing a man to do is be a fucking orderly/ or a stubborn force of nature. Be her Psychotic problem solver.

anylolone · Answer

These women do "empathy" in a really weird way for people who expect provisioning from their partners...

DWornock · Answer

Nothing unusual. Men and women are different. It has always been that way.

888theGreat · Answer

Men = Logic  Women = Hysteria  Women + Logic = Lesbian

scooogy · Answer

We men do solve things once, you women vent over and over again.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are stronger mentality and use logic over emotion

tigressmistress · Answer

Who says we don't problem solve? I am biased but I believe women are better problem-solvers.

Asianguy123 · Answer

cuz woman are bitch and men are assholes. they bite and poop

Anonymous · Answer

All men create is war, BUT aside from that, a lot of inventions are made from men

Starwitch23 · Answer

That's how men and women are wired to do that.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

I do both depending on the situation and my mood

es20490446e · Answer

Problem solved is a problem that causes no stress.

Anonymous · Answer

Because men are expected to

EaterPeter · Answer

Women solves problem by talking it out.

Waldoe · Answer

left brained vs. right brained...

krin_m · Answer

Not sure that that is always the case.

dolemite89 · Answer

cuz that’s usually what happens 🤷‍♂️

staybehind2 · Answer

female ejaculation 🤔🤔

Anonymous · Answer

Then I am a woman, I guess

humanearth · Answer

Your right

ewok737 · Answer

Hormones.

Sketti2021 · Answer

Both do both

Why are men known for solving problems while women vent?

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Why are men known for solving problems while women vent?

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