Girl I'm talking to is out with another guy. Not responding to my messages?

[Anonymous]

There's a girl I've been talking to for about a month (lives 8 hours away, in another country, across a body of water) . Super sweet and I really like her. She knows this too and she also told me first that she had feelings for me.

She had made plans to go drinking with a guy friend for a QC Canada holiday. I'm not so worried about that. But after she picked him up, she sent me a video snap of her turning the radio on and them saying something in French which she knows I don't understand.

I mentioned that I don't understand and she just sent a laughing emoji. That was the last i heard from her. From then on, I only sent her two messages and she read each an hour or two After sending but never replied.

Maybe I'm getting worried over nothing? Should I be worried? We constantly talk, and this isn't at all like her. Maybe I'm just so used to her constantly talking to me, now that she isn't my heart just kind of jumps to the wrong conclusion. 20 minutes before the last message she sent me, she was sending hearts and kiss emojis. Same with last night and the last several days.

Sorry I know it was lengthy, I just really like this girl. Am I being too jealous or being worried for nothing?

[dynamicyandere]

She let you know her plans and she isn’t hiding the fact that she’s hanging out with a friend. If she’s hanging out with friends, male or female, it would be rude of her to be on her phone, so she’s likely just hanging out and not checking her phone.



So, in terms of responding to texts, totally understandable. Nothing too weird there.


Going out drinking with a guy friend… That part is a little weird to me if it’s just them two. But, it also depends on their history as well. Are they historically super platonic, like brother/sister kind of vibes? Or is it more open-ended and up in the air?


There’s not enough evidence to conclude anything from this and you shouldn’t assume, so it’s best to give her the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty, right?


In fact, this is an opportunity to demonstrate how secure you feel. If you show you’re getting insecure, that’ll be a turn off. If you show that you’re confident, that’ll be a turn on. This may be a test to see what you’re made of.


So, I’d say, be cool. When you hear back from her make sure that you’re welcoming and fun. You don’t want her to think, “This is a buzzkill. My guy friend is more fun.” Make her enjoy being with you more than she enjoys being with him.


Good luck bro. 🤙

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. While still feeling a bit off, I do feel a little better. It seemed she stayed with him last night and she's still with him today.

She's mentioned him a little bit in the past and it sounded platonic, but I haven't seen then in person to know for myself so I'll just have to take her word.

She did message me this morning though, I asked if she wanted to have a video call later but she wasn't sure since she still with him. I invited them to play jack box game with myself and a few friends and they're going to join in for that.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re welcome. :)

That’s good that they’re joining in on the game with you guys. That way, everyone can get better acquainted and you’ll have the opportunity to see if you’re able to build some trust with this guy friend or not. Don’t jump to conclusions quite yet, but pay attention to what your gut might be telling you.

[Asker]

Well, French is their first language. She speaks English very well, but I'm not sure about him. So not too sure how much I'll be able to pick up on unfortunately.

I have another friend who speaks French as a first language, so I thought about bringing her in to guage things for me if he isn't speaking English, but I also feel like that would be a weird thing to ask.

[dynamicyandere]

Got it. Yeah, it may be a little weird to ask. If she were to do it, it would be her doing you a huge favor. But, I mean it doesn’t hurt to ask if you guys are kinda close. Just, let her know there’s no pressure at all for her to help you and it’s totally up to her if she wants to lend you a hand. Also, she would need to get along decently with the rest of your friend group. If not, that’s fine. You can leave her out and go by energy and vibe and body language. You should also pay attention the the body language she has with him as well.

[Asker]

Well, can't really watch the body language. It's a game that gets stream through discord and we are all in voice chat together. She's lives 8 hours away from me, which is why this is a bit more difficult. She lives in Canada and I live in the US on the border.

The friend I thought about asking is one that has platonic guy friends stay at her house, I know this because I was one of them. I know first hand that those kinds of friendships exist, but I also know what I was kind of hoping for when I stayed at her place.

[dynamicyandere]

Ah, alright then. Then asking for help might be your best bet, if she’s willing to do it. If not, no worries, I’m sure you’ll have other opportunities to gauge how things are.

[Asker]

Thanks, I just really like this girl and I don't want things to go sideways. She's pretty great.

[Asker]

So, thinking about it. We never became anything official when I should have made the move to do so sooner. So technically, even if she did more, while it would hurt for me she technically didn't do anything wrong.

I told her I want to talk to her when she's alone and she said he's leaving today. I'm not going to bring him up or ask what they did. I'm just going to try making things official between us.

[dynamicyandere]

That sounds like a great plan. No need to bring him up. If you two haven’t established exclusivity, then you’re right, no boundaries were technically crossed as no exclusivity boundary was officially agreed upon. I wish you the best! 🤙

[Asker]

She just started sending me a bunch of messages. It's actually pretty serious why she hasn't been messaging me. I don't want to put it all on here though.

[dynamicyandere]

Got it. If you want, I could DM you, but you’ll need to change your privacy settings to allow accounts you don’t follow to DM you.

To do that, click on your profile icon on the top right if your screen, and navigate to Edit Profile > Privacy Settings and then switch the toggle off that says Allow messages only from people I follow.

After that, let me know in the comments and I’ll DM you (if you want me to}.

To see messages you from people you don’t follow, click on your profile icon like before, and navigate to Messages > Other. 🤙

[dynamicyandere]

To see messages from people*

[Asker]

I just updated my settings so you can dm me

[dynamicyandere]

Cool beans. I just DMed you. Thanks for the MHO by the way!

[itz_me]

From what all you said it feels like it could be just a network issue problem whereever she went ( trying to be positive) but the tricky part is what she said in the video she last sent even though you can't understand the language you could read the body language?

[Asker]

She sent me a message earlier today saying good morning. He's still with her though today so she must have stayed with him last night.

I asked her this morning what she said in the video. She said was just to show that she was with him and that what she said was just part of their conversation when she did the quick snap.

[Anonymous]

Obviously she's with the other guy and probably sexual.

[Asker]

Based on our previous conversations I'm not so sure it would be sexual. From pretty early on she's been pretty adamant about us keeping our eyes only on each other. We are 8 hours apart though, so obviously we can't really police if that's being followed.

We haven't become anything official at this point, but we have both admitted feelings for each other.

[Asker]

Ultimately though, you could be right. For the sake of my feelings though, I hope you aren't.