I have a problem in my relationship we are having dry texting. I asked if there is anything or even a another dude. She says no what can I do?

[DeepImpact13]

I am now married to her. But duo too bad circemstances. She is 2550 km far away. We have our fights sometimes. But I still love her. I mentioned to her that I work hard to get her back to me and that I try my best with everything. But I dont know I dont feel a spark in our conversations and I need to start everything calling and sometimes texting and keep it interessting.

[Finchie40]

Your issue is texting , anyone can assume anything when it comes to texting , texting is just words with no action, if your partner just texts you when you are away from each other , and doesn’t take the initiative to call you or hear your voice vice versa , then the both of you aren’t making each other your priority , you are just an option to each other and not saying what you truly want to say to each other, you both are just assuming what to both of you want want to hear. If you truly loved each other you would want to hear each others voice , not just some words on a text. Texting is only ok if you both know what each other is actually doing , you can text your partner and tell them I love you and miss you but those words don’t mean anything until you follow through Why actions speak louder than words , Next time you text your wife that you Love her and miss her , send another text telling her you will call her when you are free don’t just assume that text is all you need to say

[DeepImpact13]

I would call her many times but she can't. I asked her many things what is wrong or even if she has another dude she declined everything bro. So I dont know thats why I am here.

[Whitewulf]

Sadly if your gut tells you she might be talking to another guy. She probably is. Why are you guys so far apart?

[Finchie40]

Yea man it sounds like she is playing you then , and stringing you along , sadly
Most females have this selfish mindset that they are never wrong for their actions and when you confront them on it , they act like you are the crazy one , if she truly valued you she wouldn’t hesitate to talk to you on the phone , it sounds like she is unsure about what she really wants to be honest with you , Long distance relationships are hard , mainly for reasons like this , you are probably best just to focus on yourself and see if she comes to you , if she truly cares she will reach out to you first. If not do yourself a favor and move on . Hang in there man , girls’ can easily eat you alive because they don’t think like guys’ do , it’s usually her way or no way , Sadly most girls’ are manipulative and act like they don’t have to follow boundaries the same way they expect you to follow them. Most females have the grass is greener syndrome in them when it comes to not getting their way

[hahahmm]

When you say married, if you mean as a figure of speech, it's nothing like being married. Don't play. If you mean literally then you're doing marriage wrong, bro.

30 minutes in person is worth years of texting & phone calls. You are wasting your time trying to build/keep something going like this. Either need to move to where she is or she needs to move to you. But based on what you wrote it sounds like she's not that interested. I wouldn't move for somebody who isn't begging me to move.

You doing way more work than her to try and spark something is a bad sign. Very likely she is allowing other guys in her local area to do a lot more than just talk to her. Or she's headed down that road. You can't compete with that.

[DeepImpact13]

No we are literally married. Since 2022 on November we lived together for 1 year but the country i live does make my life hard. They didn't accept The papers for her so had to send her back.

[hahahmm]

As a husband it is your duty to protect your wife. You cannot do that from a great distance. Nor can you build/maintain your marriage. If it is not important for you to be with her why are you married? If my wife was sent half way around the world, I would go to her.

[sheikalana]

Texting is a terrible way to maintain contact with your wife. Me and my husband sometimes have to be away from each other due to work but we always find time for a video call where we catch up with each other and tell about our day and literally talk about anything. These phone calls usually last one hour long or more. We never text each other that's so childish. With work and busy schedules we just don't have the time to text or have a conversation through text message. Make an agreement with her to call each other every day at a certain time of the day where you know both will be free but it has to be a mutual agreement where one day you're the one calling and the next day she's the one calling the effort has to come from both sides.

[DeepImpact13]

I always make agreement to call or call her but she doesn't do it so much as me. Like i do 70% and she 30%.

[_Maya_]

Wow that is a long ways away from each other. How did you get to this point that you are married and living that far away? I am just curious and you don't have to share that info if you don't want to. So what has happened is that texting has probably gotten old by now. It is really hard to be that far apart (and presumably for a while) and all you have is texting. Can you do video chats with her? That in my opinion is at least a little more personal. Not knowing you or her it is hard for me to guess what might provide a spark. That depends on what she is interested in. Maybe have her explain what her week was like to get her talking more.

[DeepImpact13]

I am married with her since 2022 in November and I was engaged with her since februari. We lived together 1 year. But my country didn't accept The papers so I am still in progress in getting her here to me again. I try to hold contact but she is texting dry and I feel kind of bad and uninteressting for her. I work and did many things for her. I try to tell her my worth and everything because I felt kind of stupid. But she can't really understand it. So I talk dry now too because I am tired of putting effort.

[Adonis1081]

I think that from what you have described, she might have lost interest in you or at least the spark between you and her has faded. My opinion would be.
1) Try to be more interesting and ignite the spark that was lost
2) Don’t get stuck in a routine that will drive her away very fast
3) Surprise her in a way you know that she will like
4) Chase her but not too much. Check if she is also showing the same interest as you are.
5) If possible try meeting her more often. Humans feel more connected when they are physically present
6) Try asking her politely and have an open conversation about your relationship. Most likely she will tell you why she lost interest.
7) Don’t try to win her over text. Texting about small stuff is okay but have meaningful conversations through video calls.
Hope you find this helpful

[DeepImpact13]

I would go to her. But the problem
1 ) i work
2 ) i need to spare money for her to get her as fast as possible
3 ) i also need to look after my family so my income is kind of to low to do everything i want.

[Adonis1081]

My opinion talks about you becoming more intresting and uplifting so that she can feel encouraged and she can feel that you will achieve your goals. I can surely understand you brother since i am from low income category too. Just don’t try to push things too much and keep them light and easy

[RavVid]

So she is playing a dead bat in communicating with you. Why is she 2550 Km distant? You mention working hard to get her back so that sounds like she has separated rather than being distant for work.

I think give more background and we might be able to advise better.

[DeepImpact13]

Bro no. Its because The papers for letting staying her here where I live it got declined. So I had do send her back to my home country. I working on getting her papers done correctly so she can come here or go to a neighbor country as a plan b so I can get back with her. But now I need to wait until March or April for the government gives me a answer for ny wife's paper.

[RavVid]

Ah! Thanks for that context as it makes a lot more sense. Gov'ts seem to be a lot tougher on spouses then they once were. A friend needed three statuary declarations to vouch that he and his defacto partner were in a genuine domestic relationship so that she could stay.

Where I am there are migration agents. if I were you I'd be inclined to use one as they would know the system.

But that doesn't address your immediate problem. You wrote 'my home country' so are you both from different countries with possibly different native languages? Face to face you may communicate well because there is non-verbal communication which is a significant factor even with a native language in common. I am therefore wondering if it is simply difficult for her to communicate with you without the non verbals.

Does she say 'love you', 'miss you' when you talk with each other? There is not much language barrier with those phrases. I would be worried if I weren't getting those in your circumstances. Are you expressing your longing to be with her too? Important to reinforce love when distant from each other.

Is it possible for you to visit her? That is possibly the easiest way to allay the worries you have.

[laly520]

something is definitely off about dry texting

girls tend to text in cold/dry way when they lose interest or stop loving the guy they are with or when they start seeing another guy

I dont think thats a normal or not sus way for your case

I suggest that you plan to visit her suddenly without her knowing and judge from reaction then I suggest you open the topic with her asap

[DeepImpact13]

I dont understand what you mean with not sus what does it stand for. And do be honest i asked her many question if there is a another guy or if she has something everything i asked she says no too.

[laly520]

sus is for suspicious
she can say no but is it an honest answer? who knows

[DizzyDesii]

Texting would bore me in a heartbeat. Stick to calls, occasional video and in person visits

[Jdic8rjfnelsodjfb]

In my experience, it's girls who want to text and they'll do it a lot and with enthusiastic replies when they into you and relationship isn't become too stale/boring

Just my opinion but you really shouldn't have to ve the one making the effort to get her to text more often and a with greater substance by texting her. You get her to do this by your actions when y'all together in person.

[Anonymous]

If you don't have chemistry there's nothing you can do to make it. I have smoldering texts and facetimes with my boyfriend when we are apart but we had massive chemistry right from the start.

[DeepImpact13]

She doesn't have really have time for that only in the evening and she doesn't have also in the evening Much time because she needs to stay early up for language school that I paid to get her here again.

[Opinion Owner]

There is no one in the world busier than me and I have time for that. It's chemistry.

[Nikki1989]

Texting is a dead-end at the best of times.

[Guido]

Forget texting. Get on the phone and have a real conversation.

[boobliker]

stop texting and talk it's free to talk one on one and better for you both.

[DeepImpact13]

Yea I dry text her now too so if she wants more she can call thats what I do now.

[Iron_Man]

How long have you known her call the girl on the phone,

[DeepImpact13]

1 year and a half we married and I know her 2 or 2 and a half year. I can't just call because she always says she has something to do like ( clearing her fathers house or language school or visting family or she gets visited by family. )

[Iron_Man]

If you’re married, she should be living with you

[DeepImpact13]

She was Living with me but the country i live in sended her back to our country. She lived with me 1 year. So now I am still fighting to get her back to me.

[KrakenAttackin]

She moved 2500 km away from you? Bro, she has another man.

[SotiCoto]

Ask her. Maybe she'll have a better idea.

[Roudyrebel8]

Be patient with her

[DeepImpact13]

I try bro and I beg to god that he will help me I really do. So I hope the patient will be worth it.

[Roudyrebel8]

Me too patience is no guarantee but it's a place to start

[DeepImpact13]

I try bro thanks for the motivation ❤️.

[Roudyrebel8]

Anytime. I'll be praying for you

[DeepImpact13]

Thank you really much i hope Allah will give you twice as much back as you pray for me in sha allah ❤️🤲.

[Roudyrebel8]

And may the G-d of Abraham Issac and Jacob bless and keep you! Shalom my friend

[Whitewulf]

👆🏼