I’m taken and my guy friend keeps messaging me?

[Anonymous]

So, I think about putting myself in my SO shoes and would not be fond of him texting a female 24/7, and he’s the same. we have our own boundaries. except this guy who was my guy bestfriend for a few years, will NOT stop texting me. He had issues w his girl who is now an ex girlfriend, and i don’t respond to him and he will text me again 20 hours later about something else on top of the chat i didn’t reply to. I tried telling him that i’m really serious about my relationship and i want to marry him and can’t talk to him all the time. he then was very understanding but he still won’t stop texting me. like why is he asking me about Halloween costumes then showing me booze he’s drinking etc. i’m addition, he has caused issues in my relationship. he went up to my boyfriend to show this girl with her tits out saying why did she send me this, and has created problems with my relationship bc he won’t stop talking and he puts thoughts in my boyfriend ahead. he told my boyfriend everyone on the baseball team wants to fuck your girl randomly. (he is on the baseball team). I don't know what to say to tell him to back off but i need a BREAK from him. does ANYONE know why he won’t stop texting me smh. please give me advice on what to do (i didn’t explain how he’s been a complete problem for my relationship here obv just snippets).

[HollyK21]

He is probably having a hard time adjusting to the change. Remember, just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean it’s easier to suddenly lose the access to your good friend. I went through this with my now ex-friend and for as frustrating as it was for me and my fiancé, I tried putting myself in their shoes and asking myself what I’d truly think of this adjustment. To go from being able to text me whenever about whatever or hangout in my free time, to basically nothing is hard when that was what they’ve grown used to.


In the end my friendship ended because they couldn’t cope with the changes to my priorities and I could no longer make them as much of one as I could while single. They were also doing silly things (like your friend saying the whole baseball team wanted to fk) with no other intent than to cause issues in my relationship. For example, on one night out this friend kept trying to suggest to my fiancé that these guys who were there have a thing for me and would probably try to fight him by the end of the night. “Friends” can be spiteful and ruthless too, unfortunately.

[Asker]

see the weird thing is, is that when he had his girlfriend, he respected my boundaries right away. and o respected his. we didn’t snapchat each other anymore. until his girlfriend broke things off and he’s trying to fill his heart that is broke with me in it. i’ve told him even when he was with his ex that we couldn’t be as close and he agreed. now all of a sudden that doesn’t matter to him. all that matters is him texting me.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You say 20 hours like it’s a short time between messages.
Just block him if you want him to stop messaging you completely. And maybe tell him “hey, you’re causing problems in my relationship and I can’t spend time with you anymore.” And then let it be.

[Asker]

yes 20 hours. but other than that he will snap me, few hours later, snap me again something different. waits a bit of time to snap me again. i will leave him on read many times. i will not answer him many times. and i wish you could see everything i’ve said to him. he hasn’t respected my boundaries what so ever. when he was with his ex, he respected me. we had an agreement not to be close. his ex broke up with him and he won’t stop contacting me. coming to me saying i’m the only one he leans on, and that he won’t find anyone to date. blah blah. like I don't know what i even say to that and i tell him every time that we can’t talk all the time. that i’m not okay with it. he still doesn’t get the hint which is why i asked for advice on what to do. my boyfriend said not to lose him as a friend but to continue to push boundaries. but how many times do i have to explain my boundaries and my actions show i don’t want to talk to him? he doesn’t give a fuck and have 0 respext.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So you told him that exact phrase I mentioned?

[CuriousHubby]

Please block him! Don't be but he WAS a friend!

He clearly is no longer a friend! So toxic and causing issues! That is not a friend.

A friend would accept he can't text you much and just as for advice some.

Not text about everything needing attention like a girl on social media.

[AviatorTom]

There's an unwritten rule among guys. Until there's a ring on her finger, she is not "taken".

[oppai1]

Hm seems like he's just being needy for female attention after losing his girlfriend, maybe trying to mess with your relationship so in his mind he could eventually date you? Either way it's pretty weird I would block his texts and just tell him you need space for a while.

[SweetJoyGirl]

He is definitely attached to you.

You NEED to sit him down and talk to him. Make sure your boyfriend is there to hear everything. Express how you feel about him being the way he is, while you are in a very serious relationship.

[dudegreat91]

Probably got unhealthy attachment to you. Not necessarily jealous though

[Anonymous]

Tell him you're already in a relationship.