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Most bring very little good to a relationship.
I'd hope they would bring these qualities:
18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, would do activities together like family game night, etc., no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical.
It seems to be nearly impossible to find someone like that. Most of it is just being a good person, but the majority of them aren't.
What qualities do I bring?
Me: White, 6' tall, Strong, Trustworthy, Loyal, Affectionate, intelligent, logical problem solver, Never done any hook ups, No contact with any ex, no kids but I do want some with the right person, I am very good with kids, I have worked with kids in schools for 11 1/2 years, Don't do any drugs, alcohol, or smoke, no tattoos, I work (no welfare or food stamps), I know how to cook, I'm educated (not indoctrinated). I enjoy physical stuff like riding bikes, lifting weights, and also indoor stuff like board games, video games, movies, tv series, comedy videos, learning new things, reading a book, bowling, pool, air hockey, amusement parks, and other stuff. I will try new things as long as it isn't gross or immoral. I prefer things to be planned most of the time. I wouldn't mind cooking a couple nights per week, I am good at defending the home/family, I can repair some things in the home.
bro get a life
@mistixs Really? Wow! Amazing since I have never in my whole life seen another man that brings what I do. 40 years and have never met anyone as good as me.
You are just hating because you are pathetic like most people. I'm sure you have some of the disqualifying traits and that is why you are upset. That is how it usually goes, pathetic unworthy people get upset when they see what it takes to have someone so good.
@mistixs you beat me to it but you are right regarding Narcissism. Also, you forgot "impaired social skills" since he is arrogant and stupid enough to list all of his "good qualities" on here and remark "40 years and have never met anyone as good as me." I had to read that twice to be sure it wasn't a joke.
The answer is super-obvious and we all know it. Because some women are entitled and think just having a vagina (not "using a vagina," merely HAVING one), is "enough." I just asked a question about this yesterday. I definitely don't think it's all women, but it certainly seems like the majority of Western women under 30, nowadays. Like at least 2/3rds of them.
And another thing: Any woman who brings nothing to a relationship (that aren't problems) are the ones who are going to get offended. Actual quality women will be the ones who'll immediately answer back with a list of positive traits and actions they'll display to you. ("I'm caring. I'm a ride-or-die chick. I look after my man. I'm a good cook. I'll be a great mom someday. I don't sleep around and I treat my body with respect," etc.)
I knew one woman like this, once. She knew her self-worth, and the worth in others (even me). She's no longer living, but I loved her, some nine years ago. I find it rare to meet women like that, nowadays.
My opinion got pulled because a mod felt it was offensive... Yet I said the same thing here as I did on your question..
@PardontheMasculinity
Why do women hate being ask what do they bring to the table? ↗
Because it feels like a buisiness transaction. I mean I'm also not asking him how much money he makes on the first date.
Also because I wouldn't know what to say. I'm doing a master's degree and want to get my PhD but am I bringing that to the table? I'm doing it more for myself tbh. Also I think I'm a pretty good cook, but all those qualities are relative. Compared to a chef, I would be terrible. I think a lot of qualities should be discovered rather than telling up front by an question like that. If you want to find out if I'm nurtering you just have to judge yourself. I can't tell you that.
I guess it depends. I don't care about his income. However I do want someone that has a little bit of ambition. Can be anything like being a painter, but I do want someone to work towards something. Also I think intelligence is very important. I personally really like to be intellectually challenged and not that I'm the only one explaining everything to him. I would say it's harder to find someone who is not educated to have these traits, but it's not impossible.
Lastly, I notice a lot of guys who are on education level lower than me are intimidated by me and don't quite understand my ambition. I also don't want that. If I feel some sort of inferiority complex, we have a problem.
But see in a way you are kinda going to need to find out what he does on a first date and thus get an idea of his income. I would say ambition could be measured in different ways. Maybe his ambitions are not in career but in other aspects of life. Or maybe he wasn't given the same opportunities. He could be an intelligent person, just not someone who went through university. His home life might not have allowed him to do so. But he could also study history, philosophy, ancient literature, psychology, etc on his spare time. That's kinda what happened with me.
@t-8900
Studies have proven that people who are similar in terms of age, education, common interests tend to divorce way less than those with more differences. Educated people tend to be more compatible with other educated people. Most people tend to also marry within their socio economic status. Rich men tend to marry other rich women. Poor men tend to marry other poor women.
@shaysh87 I feel like I am educated, just self educated. But then this would mean that education and money are something "brought to the table". So if a woman asked what the man was bringing to the table I dont see it as bad either if thats what they're concerned about. I wonder how much of it is due to ego. I know that if the reverse is true for a lot of men and the woman is the bread winner they guy becomes more insecure in himself because society has told him he must be bread winner. Sadly there is still a stigma to that. As we destigmatize the modern women I feel we've totally forgotten the modern man. There are things I will always firmly believe is the role of men. Mostly the protection of and safety of his household against the evils of this world and being vigilant at all times. I know *I* wouldn't want to date a rich woman simply because our lifestyles and upbringings are going to be vastly different and she may very well take the little things in life for granted if she was from a rich family. The same can be true for a rich man too. Likely I wouldn't want to go out with someone making more than 150K a year.
Realistically I see and know a lot of women who once they get propelled to the height of their careers are going to be making around 75K a year as nurses, which will be more than me. My issue isn't that I'm stupid. I simply cannot deal with sitting in a classroom for hours on end. I have to get up and move. So likely once I've secured my career I'm looking at 45-60K a year depending on where in the country I move. I'm thinking Tennessee and that's looking like 47K a year on average, where as if I stayed in Maryland I'm looking at 54K a year. But the cost of living is also higher here and I dont really like the culture in this state. Southern people in my experience seem more warm and welcoming and more family oriented so that's where I want to be.
@shaysh87 I'm trying to get into appliance repairs maybe. I was thinking about becoming a nurse at one point too because I love helping people. But they can be required up to 6 years of schooling and even though I passed anatomy with a 93% when I was in massage school I honestly never want to have to take that course again tbh lol. When I was in high school history was my subject. I loved it and passed with flying colors, did honors and AP as well. I also loved psychology as well but dont want to deal with people's mental health issues as its kind of messy for me. I still read lots, study, but when I want to, not when I have to. I think that's the difference. Whereas with a trade I can move around, not be stuck in the same 4 walls all day, and see and experience the outside world a little more.
@t-8900
There is no longer this stigma that they need to be the breadwinner amongst modern young men, especially in the typical average large modern city. The only places where this mindset is still prevalent is in very antiquated, conservative, all white, traditional suburbs where people are married off by 22 and end up with 5 kids by the time the hit 29. These people do not tend to be very educated or successfu, where housewiving is still worshipped. In most cities around the US, most women are working in order to support their families.
The concept of breadwinner is really outdated and no longer realistic or affordable for the typical American household as of 2021. Reality is, most households are living paycheck to paycheck , unable to afford to pay an additional 500 dollar bill , even with both husband and wife working. Parents are still pulling out thousands of dollars in loans for their children to attend college, even with both husband and wife working.
So if you want to be a breadwinner, I'd say you would only be able to do that if you make 150k+.
@t-8900
Modern young men prefer a woman to have an education, good career. All the millienial men that I have dated preferred a woman who has a good career rather than just a dumb bimbo housewife who has nothing going on for her or nothing to bring to the table. One of the guys that I went out with told me that a woman wihtout a career, no money, no savings, no education is a woman with absolutely nothing to bring to the table.
Nowadays guys typically aren't intimidated by women unless she is completely out of his league in terms of success. For example if she is a vice president at a company , earning 350k+ a year, while he is just a nobody computer programmer , only making 75k a year
@shaysh87 everybody is somebody hun, no matter their level of income. I do want a woman who also works, if for no other reason then we'd be able to relate to each other more tbh. If I met a truly special who wanted to be a homemaker AND I had that level of income AND thats what she wanted then I dont see the harm. I dont think its sexist for her to have the freedom of choice. But to me such a lifestyle is very hard, especially on the bread winner because if they ever fall or slip up all the pressure is on them. That's a hard way of living and not one i'd ever envy.
@shaysh87 I also measure success based on the wants and desires of the individual and what their life goals are. If a woman wants to be a mother first then her 5 kids by 29 is about as successful as she can get. If she wants to run a business and climb the corporate ladder and does so she's also successful. But I dont measure success by level of income or education. If you are working for money but have no joy in it then what the hell are you doing with your life? I want a life of enjoyment and happiness. If I have a job I hate doing, even if the money is good I will never be happy. My family were white collar workers actually. My mom is the VP of a large branch of banks in the NE of the states. But I hate that line of work and could never deal with the 6 day work weeks. I want to work to live, not live to work. On the flip side my dad basically worked himself to an early grave with long hours and overtime. The marriage obviously didn't last and infidelity became a big thing. So, not for me. Just a decent wage 8-4 or 9-5 trade is all I want. I'm not saying you but I've read from plenty of women how they look down on such men. Truth be told without tradesmen the whole infrastructure goes to hell and your nation crumbles. I dont feel they get the credit or respect they deserve in some circles. It is what it is. I could have gone to college but likely would have hated the whole experience. 6 months of massage school in the same classroom was enough for me. Couldnt even imagine 4 years of that, yikes.
@t-8900
You can't survive on "being a mother". In order to raise your children, you need money. A stay home mom with no education, skills, work experience has no ability to raise her children. A parent without the ability to raise her kids on her own is an incompetent parent. What if she loses her husband to divorce? how will she raise her kids? she can't!! How is she going to support herself? She can't!! A grown woman without the ability to support herself is not an adult, she's a child.
Housewiving is not highly looked upon because it is something that anyone can do. It does not take discipline, hard work, training. And honestly, its a path that a lot of lazy women take in order to avoid working a full time job.
Why would you kill yourself to impress your boss at work if you can just stay home and fold laundry while watching tv at home?
@t-8900
A housewife is a liabitliy to a man. She does not make his job of supporting children easier. She is just an additional financial burden to the average man. Do you think most men make over 6 figures? NO!! Our cost of living is rising every year, wages are not keeping up with the increases. Cost of college has increased tremendously over the past 20 years. Food costs are rising. Rent / housing prices are also rising. Taxes are also rising. how are you supposed to reduce a man's financial burden by taking on a housewife?
sure , you like to talk about having a housewife. But you can actually afford one? Many men who never ever supported children, do not understand the financial stressors of raising a family until they see it themselves.
@shaysh87 I think that was the whole reason behind alimony tbh. I AGREE that many take that path because it's the easy road. And maybe I dont understand how women think. But maybe she just wants to honestly be with her kids and home school them and make sure they're safe? I went to public school and I was raped by my 2nd grade teacher. When I was in high school TWO teachers were sentenced to prison for raping underage girls in school. So this is the kind of risk one takes with strangers and frankly its very frustrating. A 24 hour live feed in each classroom for security reasons, as well as outside of bathrooms, and the shower area should be put into EVERY SCHOOL in this country. Sounds like overkill but...1 rape is 1 rape too many.
@t-8900
is spending extra time at home with the kids, worth not being able to afford to send your kid to an excellent college? because you need to realize that when your kid turns 18, you will need a lot of money in order to send your kids to college. My brother rejected an acceptance to an Ivy League school because his parents were too poor to pay his tuition.
Nobody in our society will ever praise you for receiving alimony. there's nothing praise worthy about alimony. And no every wife receives alimony.
@shaysh87 but if you read my comments I never said I wanted a housewife... so there's that. I specifically said I didn't. But IF I really liked a girl and IF I had that level of income I would because I liked/loved her that much. Realistically I dont want a housewife. I wasn't raised in that sort of home environment anyways. But what I'm saying is that as long as she DOES work idc what said work is so long as it's honest and legal.
@t-8900
I was raised by both parents that worked, both mom and dad. I was never raped. I was never mistreated as a kid. Every night when I got back home from afterschool program at 6pm, my parents tutored me on homework, sharpened my pencils, checked my grades/ test scores. On weekends, they taught me how to ride a bike or swim. I think this is how most American parents run their lives.
@shaysh87 my family, even with the money never believed in paying for someone else's schooling. Part of adulting up is taking responsibility for your own finances and a child needs to grow up and learn to pay their own way in life. Also Ivy league schools are overrated and not the be all and end all for a successful career and are vastly overpriced.
@t-8900
A good parent is not only someone who is nurturing and caring. A good parent is also a very educated person who knows how to tutor their own children beyond the elementary school level. A good parent is someone who knows how to motivate their kids to do well in school, someone who can teach their kids interview / career skills. This is what will make kids become successful at life. A good parent is someone who knows what success requires such as social skills, public speaking, interview skills, how to get promotions. This is wisdom that your kids need in order to succeed at life. How are you gonna have this wisdom if you never worked a career? never went to college?
Being good at storytelling, cuddling, telling secrets to mommy will not make your kids become successful at life.
@t-8900
[my family, even with the money never believed in paying for someone else's schooling. Part of adulting up is taking responsibility for your own finances and a child needs to grow up and learn to pay their own way in life. Also Ivy league schools are overrated and not the be all and end all for a successful career and are vastly overpriced.]
if you're willing to say that going to ivy league school doesn't matter, then its clear that you are not every educated nor have you ever held a professional job.
@t-8900
[just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And no, my parents never did homework with me either. they got him, dinner was made, and done. That's it.]
why do you think you're going into trades? kids who succeed in school typically have parents who put heavy emphasis on schooling at a very young age. People who enter the trades tend to be those who didn't do very well in school, have no other direction to go to, so they go into construction or plumbing.
[my mom makes 6 figures with a high school diploma. she climbed the ladder. Also yeah, dont really care. I think i do recall talking to you before. You're the chick who was cool with having kids with "high IQ" men. The Asian chick right?]
no i've never spoken to you before. but do you think the vast majority of folks with a high school diploma, makes 6 figures a year? i don't think so. your chances of failing / struggling in life with a hs diploma is far greater than you succeeding.
@shaysh87 uh not really. I explained why already. I always hated academia. My parents paid for tutors are premium prices. But I just refused to sit still. My grandfather was an Engineer, built bridges and sky scrapers and made tons of money. He also served as Commander of the Sea Bees for 31 years and was highly decorated. My mom makes 6 figures in banking. My dad was a business owner. Simply put I just hated school. It had nothing to do with my parents not emphasizing it or not caring, or not being educated.
@shaysh87 then why did I do well in subjects I liked then? I was in honors and AP for history. Obviously I loved it. When I found out there was almost no money or demand for it I just quit. Math and Science bore me to high heaven unless we are studying early humans. Otherwise boring. Plate tectonics had me literally falling asleep. Math class was boring as all hell. Numbers are numbers. They are boring. I like learning about famous would leaders, military geniuses like those of the First Triumvirate, Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun, etc, etc. THAT is what interests me. Not numbers on paper and not freaking weather and earthquakes. Uuugh so boring!
So can y'all please continue in private? I get constant notifications about this.
I don't agree with either of you. I don't live in the USA so college is not as crazy expensive here. However I do understand if academia is just not your thing. That's fine in my opinion, but I'm sceptical if we would match because I'm very much a thinker, love to learn and like questioning everything. I don't care about income because I hope to make enough for myself. I might not want kids anyways so I don't know why y'all are talking about that. I just think intelligence, ambition in one way or another and same type of mindset where you like to have intellectual discussions and like to learn. Not saying it's impossible to be that person without college, but in my country where money is not often a reason of not going, it's more rare.
@shaysh87 I think you're very negative about women who choose to be housewifes. I don't think it's a smart decision to be financially dependent on someone, but nonetheless you can't say it's easy. I don't think full time raising children is easy at all and we should respect people who devote their time to that.
@t-8900
I've been in academic for over 20 years, you're not fooling anyone. If you were good at school, you would've easily gone to a great standing college. There is plenty of money if you're good at math and science. Actually all the most lucrative fields are within math and science fields.
@spuitkaas right, sorry about that. I think we are done anyways. I will say that I do study psychology, history, archeology, and ancient literature so I have tons to talk about with someone and have intellectually stimulating conversations. I just chose to do it through books and not a University. I love learning but I love learning in a way I find fun. Certain authors present the facts in a more stimulating way than others. Some are just bores and it makes reading a chore. Anyways sorry about all this. I respect your position and your views. I dont think you said anything wrong here. Anyways enjoy the rest of your day!
@t-8900 I get it. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and school wasn't always easy for me because of that. Luckily I had help and I can understand not everyone is as priviledges as I am. I also went through with it and didn't give up because of my hard work and I knew university was my way to go, because any job that's too "practical" will bore the shit out of me. Like I said it's okay if you didn't have those priviledges and you dropped out along the way. It just depends on what type of person you are on an intellectual level and if you're like-minded. That's why I don't only date university guys.
@spuitkaas
hunnie, the only time where housewiving is hard is only when your kids are super young such as under the age of 5. Once the hit elementary school, you will find yourself in an empty house, with your kids away at school for 8 hours a day. Once the hit high school, you will likely find your kids to be away from the house 10-12 hours a day. You're in an empty house 8-12 hours a day. so how is your job so difficult?
my parents managed working full time jobs while doing all the housework, cooking, cleaning, tutoring. now why would it be so difficult for 1 parent to do housework?
I love a Christmas Carol, muppets Christmas Carol, miracle on 34th Street, its a wonderful life
Opinion
22Opinion
I once sat on a table where there was a question like this laid out, right after the girl started listing fast and hard her criterias of a man she can date.
I asked her, politly to take het time and answer me. what does she have to offer in return, for each of these 15 demands of qualities for a guy. Her tone of voice, confidence, and attitude slowed down, realy realy fast. I told her, sex doesn't count because all women can give it as much as they want.
All I remember is her saying she is independent and pretty. Couldnt list more than 5 qualities.
Both men and women, not all but many get mad when they are asked questions like these. Maybe they dont have as much as they want others to believe they have.
because the answer is so terribly awful. Here's what she brings:
She'll give you intimacy but only until she gets pregnant the number of times that she wants, then it will trail off quickly and She'll stop you from complaining by giving you holy hell if you bring it up.
You'll take out the biggest mortgage possible and be legally obligated to the cost of raising the kids for 23 years so leaving her will mean complete self ruin, so she'lI have no need to satisfy your needs for intimacy and women don't get blue balls.
And once she gets you hooked, her taste buds will be way more important than looking attractive, but you'll still beg to have sex with her fat disgusting ass, even though you are embarrassed to be seen in public with her, so her attitude will be, hey what the hell, give me another donut.
Because it's an awkward question, and that kind of self-reflection is an uncomfortable thing to do, if it's not something you're used to. Changing social mores have also made the only answer of "reproductive capability and childcare" not as accepted as it used to be, and the more philosophically inclined women will be more prone to asking themselves "So why haven't we changed the expectations we place on men?", which leads to further uncomfortable questions.
most guys do not expect women to bring anything to the table. Guys do not care about how much money a woman makes. There are tons of guys on here who would willingly date an unemployed woman who lives with her parents. All she needs to do is to not get obese, look somewhat attractive, know how to make scrambled eggs then thats it. she's acceptable for marriage.
"most guys do not expect women to bring anything to the table" exactly. A woman with nothing to bring to the table is quite a feat! Usually they bring rape trauma, debt, 30 extra pounds, and another mans kids. Lmao. So if she brings nothing to the table she's far above and beyond most other women.
@bamesjond0069 ou forgot to mention a hostile suspicious attitude that most women possess.
@MCheetah
from my experience, the more educated the guy, the more likely he's gonna marry a woman equally as educated as him. People tend to marry those on their own level. Rich guys tend to marry rich women. Poor men tend to marry poor women. Celebrities tend to marry other celebrities / well known people.
@shaysh87 "Divorced women are more likely than men to receive public assistance, live without health insurance, and have less earning potential. Approximately 22 percent of women divorced in the past 12 months live in poverty than 11 percent of men. Nearly 98% of people receiving alimony are women." and "Women [with money who are married to broke] men are 33% more likely to divorce" https://farzadlaw.com/divorce-statistics
@hahahmm
[Nonsense. If that were true then women would be fighting to do away with alimony, child support and all the other stuff they shouldn't need from the man "on their own level".]
you don't know that most people marry those of their own race, social economic status, education class because you don't have any real world dating experience. Anyone who isn't a hermit that lives under a rock will know this as a fact.
@shaysh87 #1 You're the one who said in response to MCheetah that rich guys marry rich women.. educated guys marry educated women. Even tho it contradicted your own first post. #2 Thanks for the personal insults. It's what people do when they lose an argument. #3 I'm not going to even raise your insults to the level of responding directly to them.
@hahahmm
[#1 You're the one who said in response to MCheetah that rich guys marry rich women.. educated guys marry educated women. Even tho it contradicted your own first post.]
Overwhelming majority of men in america are not rich, educated, upper class or successful. Average guys like you , would be dating poor , uneducated, bimbos. There is already proof that people tend to marry those of their own race, socio economic status, culture, education level. If you're a broke uneducated guy, chances are you won't give two shits if your wife couldn't finish high school.
[ #2 Thanks for the personal insults. It's what people do when they lose an argument.]
Mcheatah angrily blocked me. So I don't think I lost the argument. He LOST.
[ #3 I'm not going to even raise your insults to the level of responding directly to them.]
Lets go have a debate and lets see who will win. I'm that CONFIDENT.
Bottom barrel people do a lot of strange things so lets not pay much attention to who a crack whore or a 300lb man who lives in an RV who they date or marry.
Also try not to view this from a poor persons perspective either. A doctor who marrys a doctor often the man clearly out earns or classes the wife. Ie a senior neurosurgeon vs a pediatrician. This is not equals marrying equals in terms of finances career or education.
Just throwing some thoughts out there.
@bamesjond0069
doctors are no longer marrying nurses. Most doctors marry other doctors. Doctor marrying nurses was a popular thing back during the 1950s where doctors was a male dominated profession. Women were discouraged from being doctors.
Besides the rich always married other rich people. This was the same even back then during the 1600s-1800s. Rich upper class men typically married rich upper class women.
"... during the 1600s-1800s." Women typically were not rich during this time. They had wealthy family but they themselves had no earnings and if they came with assets of any kind they became the husbands.
@bamesjond0069
[A doctor who marrys a doctor often the man clearly out earns or classes the wife. Ie a senior neurosurgeon vs a pediatrician. This is not equals marrying equals in terms of finances career or education.]
this is not about money. its about prestige. A highly educated successful man wants someone within his own "league". Like there are leagues for looks, there is also a league for intelligence and success.
Smart men want smart women to be their wives. Dumb men want dumb women to be their wives.
@bamesjond0069
["... during the 1600s-1800s." Women typically were not rich during this time. They had wealthy family but they themselves had no earnings and if they came with assets of any kind they became the husbands.]
Rich women were from rich families. Rich women had rich parents. In the 1600-1800, you were born into your wealth. If you had wealthy parents , you are considered wealthy. Even 200 years ago, rich men married rich women. Poor men married poor women. Its still the same today.
You're talking about class it sounds like. "Class" does not equal "rich" and neither equals "wealthy" they are three different concepts.
@bamesjond0069
I'm talking about socio economic classes which is based on income / asset levels.
Typically educated people tend to be higher upper the socio economic class. It was also this way since the 1600s.
@bamesjond0069
many men on here think that wealth = intelligence and success. It does not.
A man can be wealthy without much intelligence or skills. I have seen accountants who flunked out of school due to poor grades, cannot get a masters, not very intelligent. Make a ton of money running their own tax business.
But if you're talking about a high achieving surgeon or physician who has a long history of academic success, high level of prestige, he is likely gonna want a wife who is also educated, somewhat successful.
Just take a look at joe biden's wife, jill biden, she has a doctorate PHD in teaching.
Michelle obama, was a former lawyer.
Hillary clinton was also a lawyer.
None of them were a maids or worked at mcdonalds.
you're examples are true but they are not good examples... a typical lets say wealthy man is not president. A typical 1% income male adjusted by age is not dating a woman who is also a member of that earnings group. I agree men and women tend to date in the class but they definitely dont tend to date someone of the same income or where the woman earns more. That is not typical at all.
@bamesjond0069
People tend to be more compatible with those on their own educational level. For example, if you were a college professor who teaches English, you wouldn't be married to someone who can't write well. So if this college professor makes 150k a year, its highly unlikely that he will be married to a woman who makes 25k a year working at mcdonalds or maid work.
They do not need to earn exactly the same amount. But on average, rich people do not tend to marry poor people.
@bamesjond0069
Another big reason why people tend to marry those of their own socio economic class is because you tend to marry those who you are around the most. If you are rich, chances are your also work around a lot of rich people at your job. If you're an investment banker, you will be surrounded by people working in finance, which is a very lucrative field. Its very common for people in finance to make a lot of money. So your chances of dating / marrying someone of similar income levels is very high.
Rich people also tend to be educated and highly intelligent. Highly intelligent people tend to want to marry other highly intelligent people. Highly intelligent individuals tend to be good earners. This is why people tend to marry within their own socioeconomic classes. Sure husband and wife may not necessarily earn the same amount but both should be high income.
If a surgeon husband is making 250k annual. The pediatrician wife may be making 180k annual
That contradicts what you said earlier. In the past women didn't earn any money. High earners were with non earners. So if its different now its only a new thing that people are trying in the past 2 decades or so. I dont really find it true, most rich mens wives stay at home that i personally know but its not like i read a study or know what people in liberal areas do.
@bamesjond0069
[That contradicts what you said earlier. In the past women didn't earn any money. ]
There was no contradiction. I wasn't talking about women in the past. I was talking about male surgeons and female doctors in the present.
[High earners were with non earners. So if its different now its only a new thing that people are trying in the past 2 decades or so. ]
Housewives do not exist anymore and are on a severe decline. you didn't know this?
[I dont really find it true, most rich mens wives stay at home that i personally know but its not like i read a study or know what people in liberal areas do.]
Most wives of rich men are not stay home wives. Take a look at all the wives of politicians, secretary general's wife, they are not stay home wives. Neither was Michelle Obama or hillary clinton. The wives of wealthy politicians are always extremely educated women with high profile careers.
Im talking about normal rich people, not high profile or famous people. Im talking about the guy who lives in small town usa and has a 20 million dollar networth because he owns some apartments and some small store fronts in town and a few gas stations. Someone like that usually has a housewife.
@bamesjond0069
[Im talking about normal rich people, not high profile or famous people. Im talking about the guy who lives in small town usa and has a 20 million dollar networth because he owns some apartments and some small store fronts in town and a few gas stations. Someone like that usually has a housewife.]
I don't know what world you live in. But you can't "expect someone to have a housewife". If he falls in love with a woman who is a career woman, SHE WILL STILL WORK A CAREER BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO. Just because a man has a lot of money, it does not mean that his wife HAS to be a housewife.
Plenty of politicians are rich. Most of their wives aren't stay home wives. In fact, most women in america are NOT stay home wives. Women want to work.
Back to politicians. What about normal wealthy men in normal anytown USA? This is an actual sizeable group of men far more than politicians. And there are tons of non working housewives and stay at home moms? Do you even know people at all or just your own mom?
@bamesjond0069
I live in new york city, one of the richest cities in the world, most rich women here are women who work full time careers. I live in one of the most expensive districts in new york city, near wall street. Filled with million dollar condos. There are black nannies pushing carts with white babies all over the street.
@bamesjond0069
I've lived in this rich area for over 10 years, I have ever ever seen a white woman push her baby on a stroller unless she was poor. Its always the black nannies pushing strollers. Rich white women are always very well dressed, stylish , going to work. But you will never ever see a rich white woman pushing her own baby's stroller.
Do you live in like California or new york or something? I live in a place its not Iowa but you can think Iowa. I never heard of or seen anything like what you're talking about, so maybe different countries or maybe you dont live in a typical American area?
@bamesjond0069
Iowa is poor, uneducated, lacking in the number of successful men.
I live in one of the most expensive financial capitals in the world. NYC, wall street
google it
Sounds like you've not traveled much. But that explains things. Liberals like the typical person in NYC dates and marry in drastically different ways than rural conservatives.
I'm actually from NY and moved away because i thought that kind of lifestyle is superficial and makes no sense. Never thought career women were attractive either but i know thats more popular an idea in NY among liberals and moderates.
@bamesjond0069
Anywhere that is rich, you will find a lot of career women. You will find a lot of career women in CA too. Anywhere that is poor, you will find more stay home wives.
@bamesjond0069
the only places where you can still find stay home wives are suburbs where people are poor, uneducated, not high achieving, people marry at 21 and end up with 6 kids by the time they hit 29.
@bamesjond0069
they also tend to have walmarts all over the small town cuz people are dirt poor.
How is that relevant if you are wealthy? You do know there's lots of millionaires in the south and midwest right?
@bamesjond0069
haha no there are not a lot of millionaires where housewives tend to live. Housewives primarily populate in the Midwest and the poor areas of rural south. Millionaires tend to populate in large modern cities where the educated professional population is very high.
@bamesjond0069
uneducated , poor women are most likely to be housewives. College educated women are much less likely to take that path.
Maybe you're not that educated but anywhere you see a gas station, grocery store, car wash, or small or mid size apartment building... it only takes one to 3 of those for someone to be a multi millionaire... that is having a net worth that exceeds 2 million dollars. Many other businesses as well but think about just the ones you see driving down the street. Everyone is a millionaire these days. I think you're thinking about someone with a net worth of like 100 million dollars or something like that.
@bamesjond0069
I've lived near one of the richest neighborhoods in the world, I can tell you that millionares HAVE NO INTEREST in dating maids, or women who work at mcdoanlds, or bathroom cleaners, baby sitters. Trust me, these men know that they can get someone better. In other words, these men know they are out of her league. Highly accomplished, rich educated professional men go for professional women with very good education. Usually she is also rich or makes at least a decent salary.
If you dont believe me, Just take a look around all the most powerful politicians in the US, how many of them are married to wives that are 20 years younger , illiterate, uneducated? You won't find any.
Well you're certainly uneducated since you didn't seem to understand anything i wrote.
@bamesjond0069
I'm not stupid, dude. I know you're just a troll who doesn't like facts. so i stopped even reading what you write.
@bamesjond0069 If you think gas stations and the like make someone a millionaire - where in the hell did you learn economics?
@msc545
you would have to be a millionaire to start up a gas station. Usually its corporate companies that start up gas stations.
And as for bamesjond0069, aka the so called "GAG millionaire who only dates virgin girls fresh out of puberty, he's a troll.
Do you really think a wealthy knowledgeable successful self made millionaire would spend most of his days trash talking women on GAG and obsessing over teenage virgin girls , like he does?
he's probably just a trust fund baby with well to do parents who gave him everything so he never had to ever hold a job in his life.
Some guys have observed that when asked this question (the vast majority) of women will either just mention their sexual organs/looks or something quality guys don't even care about like her degree/job.
That said... I wouldn't ask a woman that question because it doesn't really matter what she says. What matters is how she behaves.
I am not sure that I would actually "ask" this. I think with time when you get to know someone, you get a feel for what they would contribute to the relationship. I think if they get mad it might be because they feel that the question is too businesslike.
Never asked it, mainly as I tend to talk to the person I’m dating and can work this out myself.
I guess some guys can’t chat about basic stuff with girls,,,
@chrismaster69
So what you are saying is that you are intelligent? Interesting take. 👍
@chrismaster69 👏
Are you asking potential romantic partners that question? Cause that is a very... blunt question to ask on a first date lol
Girls always ask guys what a girl should bring to the table. Cause most of the time guys don’t like with what a girl brings to the table.
I don't hate this questions, it's a fair question. Men can take or leave what I bring to table, lol.
I have honestly never been asked. I have a solid job, bubbly personality and humourous (to some).
I just haven't been asked. Is it that common to ask that?
Duh.
What women bring to the table is by virtue of simply being.
They got that magical pussy, man.
How dare you question it!
Because it's not a fucking interview?
I wouldn't stand for that question either.
It's very cold, mechanical and strange.
The guy who asks it is clearly an arsehole.
And hates both her and himself.
Well how would your ideal woman answer this question?
Would she bring a CV/resume to the first date, with a list of her key attributes, skills and assets?
Would you do the same?
Or would that be, as I've said, cold, mechanical and strange - and you would instead have a normal conversation, like someone not called Spock or Sheldon?
They hate it because besides sex most women bring absolutely nothing to the table. Not any more anyway.
I see that whom ever reported me failed to get my comment removed.. Grow up who ever you were
Women bring a lot to the table cause they are people and people bring to the table. Would you like if someone asked what you bring to the table as a man? It’s a demeaning question
Because they are defensive about the fact that today's women do not bring nearly as much to the table as women of the past.
By the way, love the user name. Very fitting today.
I don't recall ever asking or being asked this question. But one of my favorite critiques of someone that I ever heard from someone else was just: "Brings nothing to the table."
Because they don't want to bring anything to did table. They want everything to be done for them except the few things they decide to do just do that they're not bored
Because all they usually bring is their looks and their vagina.
That's how we called them out. They can't defend themselves when asked 😂
It's just like tending to a dissertation but they have no substance 😂
Other than sex.
i’ve never been asked this but i’m curious what answer are you (and other men) even looking for?
It's not the answer that matters most. It's the fact you took the time to self reflect. At least for me it is. I just want to know you have something more than looks for example. You can say things like loyalty and a nurturing heart and to me those would be solid. Idc about income or education. That has nothing to do with the person themselves. Like if a girl asked me? I'm monogamous, loyal to a fault, kind, nurturing, I can cook, I can be a shoulder for you, I bring protection from lots of experience in street fights lol, I can grow crops if needed, and I'm good with kids.
@cosmicallyinclined
"What answer are you (and other men) even looking for?"
We just want SOMETHING of value. So many women nowadays think just being female should entitle them to a 10/10 man. On in different words, they're selfish. And if they're worth anything of value, they should be able to bring something to the table. As @shaysh87 said, often times, men just want the bare minimum: Look pretty, don't be a bitch/feminist, be loyal, have a decent personality, and know how to cook. The fact so many women (not necessarily you) even get bothered by this question, let alone can't even answer it, speaks volumes to how entitled many of them are.
@MCheetah
[Look pretty, don't be a bitch/feminist, be loyal, have a decent personality, and know how to cook.]
firstly, not all women are pretty. Most women are average looking or slightly below average. We come in all sorts of sizes. Not everyone looks like a skinny white barbie. So lower your standards.
secondly, not all feminists are bitches. You can't force all women to be housewives. Women have the right to pick how they run their lives. You're not king, you have no right to determine what all decent women should be like. A housewife can very well be a bitch. While a career woman may very well be a nice, kind woman.
thirdly, no man is gonna marry you just because you have a decent personality. There are tons of people with boring, decent personalities but have nothing special to offer. You would need to WOW your man in order for him to have insane passion for you.
fourthly, cooking is no longer a woman's job. In our modern society, men are increasingly expected to help their wives around the house with the cooking and cleaning. Back then during the 1950s, cooking was a woman's job. But nowadays in 2021, leaving your wife to be the only one doing the housework is a path to divorce. Women are no longer maids or housemakers.
and lastly, please change your nasty attitude towards women. You act as if women, as an entire gender, owes you something. If you're so sick of women, STOP DATING. Stop looking at women. Stop your annoying ass whining, empty insults and accusations. Stop looking for a wife and just go after prostitutes. Nobody wants to hear or taste your pessimism.
@cosmicallyinclined
If you’re on here long enough you would realize half this website is filled with men like him
@MCheetah cooking is always to me just a bonus. I'm no chef but I can hold my own in a kitchen. Would like a girl who knew how to bake and learn from her tbh. I like when both the man and the woman in a relationship have things they can both teach one another. also I don't know who shaysh87 is. Looks likes he blocked me and not sure I've ever even bumped into her so I don't know what y'all are even talking about lol. Only people that hate me on this site are consistently admitted cheaters since I talk smack on those types, or people that sleep with married people, rapists, wife beaters, or dead beat parents. Not sure what I did to trigger her.
@cosmicallyinclined
Get ready for more in the weeks to come. It used to be worse last year.
@MCheetah oh God, it was probably the cooking thing lmao. Some take it the wrong way. Hell I'd cook most of the time but if I'm sick or coming home late I don't want the house burning down lmfao. I'll take a cook or baker but working in the kitchen is a life skill all adults should know. we do whole foods in this house. No gunk or junk!
@t-8900
Just want to point out how the question simply asked "Why do women hate being ask what do they bring to the table?" and it turned into a feminist circlejerk, instead of actually addressing the question. And then some of these women wonder why they're single. It's worth pointing out.
Well, I don't keep blowing up Cosmicallyinclined's notifications, so let's end it here.
Not all are but a lot are. If I’m asked what I bring to the table, I’ll say it.
A woman with nothing to bring to the table is what men want. Usually they bring rape trauma, debt, 30 extra pounds, and another mans kids. Lmao. So if she brings nothing to the table she's far above and beyond most other women.
@msc545 Women who have not been raped also have rape trauma? 🤷♀️ So if I want to take my time and get to know a guy before I allow myself to be alone with him and evetually have sex is having rape trauma? Interesting, I didn't realize I had rape trauma by behaving this way, I though it was just good ol fashion taking my time to bonding and trusting someone.
@whirled_up_girl I never said anything even close to that. Cut down or stop the drugs.
Because they’ve been asked more in general, since men are seen as more “productive”.
I don’t know. It’s apparently insulting. I know what I have to offer, and it’s not just my body or looks. Sure, body and looks may be 1 of the offers, but I can do a lot more than that.
I can lean, cook, sew, take responsibility, care for children, nurture, provide income, respect, commitment, effort, dependability, patience… Many more. Not just surface level offers.
That’s a strange question to ask on a date. It’s not a job interview.
They bring dreams and hopes and they'll be an outlet for and accept your loving. Like strippers would do. But girlfriends are more genuine, supposedly.
Only the ones who are pieces of shit who want a man to wait on them hand and foot hate being asked that question.
Because they don’t bring anything to the table When They hate being asked that
Probably the same reason men do when they find out that just having a penis and buying dinner isn't enough
@msc545 Actually good qualities as a person like integrity, discipline, drive, a good work ethic and emotional maturity. I make enough money on my own, if I want to orgasm, I can take of that on my own too. The real question is what would you bring to the relationship that I couldn't do for myself. I want a partner and friend, not a care taker or someone who want's to use me as a blowup doll. As for having standards, I wouldn't want to be a in a romantic relationship with someone that I am not attracted to, would you?
@msc545 I would expect someone who works in the health field, especially in psyche would have a better understanding and more respect for the differences between the male and female psyche. Didn't they teach you about bedside manner in school?
As for being a nightmare, if voicing my own opinions and standing behind them make me a nightmare than so be it. I would much rather have a few hate me for being myself than loved by all for being someone I am not.
@msc545 @Subarugirl cool it you two be nice
I haven't been asked it before, but it seems like a rather condescending question if you ask me.
It’s a totally harmless direct question but explain yourself
First off it makes it sound like you're an employer interviewing someone and it gives an image as if the relationship wouldn't be equal and that I would have to bring something that benefits you and that's the only thing that matters. And I just get the image of the person sitting in a big chair, asking what that person has to offer them. Looking down in a way.
In a relationship, it is what both give to the relationship. But I just see this question as if it only matters what that one person can offer. So I just see it as really one-sided and focus on how the other benefits.
@Little_Bumblebee men have the right to ask questions just like women have been asking questions for eons. If a woman asking a man what he does for a living isn't condescending... then this can't be either.
Most women didn't even answer the question not surprised 😂
Funny enough I ask this to men LOL
I've never been asked this.
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