Women, do you take offense to the question "what do you bring to the table?" If so why?

[D-Pad_Chad]

[quaranta]

I never got this question but if I was actively dating I would find it good because I would think the guy has got standards, experiences and has a clear idea of what he wants, and I'm generally not afraid of looking "empty" or "cheap" at all (rather, I might be afraid of looking too bold to keep up with, if anything). I know my qualities and I think it's good when a guy wants to make sure I'm confident about myself, as I like to be also recognized by that.
I allow it also because I might come up spontaneously with much trickier questions that would uncover the intellectual misery of who I'm talking with (without even expecting that, and it happened, creating awkward situations), so they have all the right to challenge me the way the prefer.
However, if this question is associated with a general attitude of being edgy and teasy just for the sake of feeling superior trying to impress me with how direct he is while I'm not supposed to be (and he assumes I'm unprepared, that's why he asks it), or to look like someone who should be chased to receive approval from him, then it can easily turn cringe for me (actually, happened during the last year, even though I didn't receive exactly this question).

But in general, I'm hard to trigger or to offend, usually I deal with anything I receive without even knowing something is considered offensive or not.

However I can see how this could put off some women. While you might look for an exchange based on "content" and a direct approach, I assume most of women aren't really interested in "content" but rather in the vibe and the intentions they perceive behind the conversation, regardless of the content, which is more like an excuse to actually talk. Asking a question that puts them to the corner and pushes them to be direct and bold, hides a challenge and it shows your intentions are, likely, to provoke them (or anyway they could read it that way). And I guess this vibe might be not appreciated by a lot of women. As far as I see, women like direct men, but don't like to be pushed to be direct themselves.
So I suggest you to ask that question only to women who look like having content and have a bold, strong personality. Afterall if you are really interested in this trait (through this question), then that's just the correct target in general.

[D-Pad_Chad]

Oh I have no intention of asking it to any women or anyone honestly. This question, to me, is for those looking for a partner and I gave up on finding a partner awhile ago, long story.

I like how well thought out your response was. As I'm reading your response it seems many women have an issue communicating with men. I say this based on the part where you say "women aren't really interested in "content" but rather in the vibe and the intentions they perceive" To presume one's intentions is a dangerous game to play. Moreover I can safely say a majority of men are surface level, what they say is usually what they mean. Majority of the time there is no deeper thing to perceive, in doing so one may come to conclusions that don't exist.

Also the part where women like direct men, but don't like to be pushed into being direct themselves. I'd argue, that it's not directness, but seeking transparency. This seeking transparency is usually out of an urge to keep our lives simple and easy to manage, as we usually have enough on our plate as is.

However, I could also see, based on vocal inflections and such, how this question could come off as combative in nature. I think the best answer is, just what you said, knowing what you want and being able to answer, as well as asking it back, taking in the answer given and comparing notes.

Regardless your response, thus far, has been the most enlightening and informative. Thank you for responding.

[Mia-Wallace]

No.

I only ever dated to find a partner for life and to get married. No one can make such a decision without asking this question.

But I also only date my friends, so they already know what I "bring to the table" by the time I approach them or they do.

If I went on a blind date, I would tell him everything needed in the first 2 dates throughout our conversation so that he wouldn't even need to ask.

[sunflower00]

I don’t really take offence but if someone asked me that I’d probably stop talking to them. If it’s someone you are starting a relationship with it gives the vibe that they view the relationship as some kind of transaction rather than a human relationship with someone you love. For me, relationships are about being with the person you love and enjoy spending time with and are genuine & based on a connection rather than what you can get out of it to benefit yourself

[D-Pad_Chad]

Interesting, you're not taking offense, but cutting communication, your words don't match your actions.

As for relationship being transactional of course they are. Someone is paying for the date, that's transactional. It doesn't mean it's not human or without love. I'd even argue discussing terms of a relationship is extremely healthy and better than trying to read the others mind.

I've only seen this question used to compare the asker's preferences against the person being asked traits and compatibility with the asker. I think it's just more abrupt and to the point version of asking stuff like...
Do you like/have pets, what's your views on xyz, what are you willing/unwilling to do.

[Anonymous]

On here, no.

I yawn because it has been asked a million times.

[D-Pad_Chad]

Well I mean in general, I've not seen it asked actually. Oh I take that back I did once but whoever was asking was really REALLY leading the question lol.

If I recall it was worded something like "why do all women hate being asked..." which feels a bit disingenuous in it's phrasing to me.

[CA4444]

I don’t take offense, i think it makes sense, but it makes the relationship sound like a contract or transaction, and I’m also independent I actually don’t need someone in my life so it wouldn’t be a good start as far as I’m concerned

[AddylynnNightingale]

No, I like the question. I ask myself that question sometimes before tackling something.

[TacosRAwesome]

A bit but might as well know he's buying what Im selling if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Not a slightly bit
The Q itself screams a whole damn insecurity

[D-Pad_Chad]

How so? Like why does it scream insecurity?

[fonduegirl]

Yes. I'm not on a fucking interview, Jake.

[Anonymous]

It sounds transactional

[D-Pad_Chad]

Have you ever asked someone whose asked this to elaborate what they mean by this? For example to you it sounds transactional, but to me it's more comparing what someone brings to a relationship vs. what someone is looking for in a partner. So a common question is "what are you looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse." To me the question "what do you bring to the table." is the inverse of that I. E. asking what makes you a good candidate to be my boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse." It causes people to not think about themselves and do a bit of self reflection as to, if in a relationship how would I improve my partner's life and how could they improve mine. Again though that's my take on the question.

[LazerBean]

Nope.