What does it mean when a girl you’re getting close to pushes you away then comes back wanting you again?

[Anonymous]

Is she indecisive and doesn’t know what she wants? We were getting close and then suddenly she pushes me away and I don’t understand. Then she comes back and wanting me again it’s push and pull I don’t know

[Anonymous]

I was once that girl, from my side its no game at all... I overthink at times that "maybe he doesn't like me like that?"..."I think I might come off being clingy and annoying and I'm just being weird"... sometimes she may feel insecure about you and when my feelings are strong and uncontrollable i get scared and need time alone to reorganize my feelings and come back... all she needs is your reassurance that you're also interested in her. And reciprocate her efforts,.. she may pull away but deep down she cries at night because she overthinks a lot... if she comes back its because she's strong enough again to offer you the love she wants to show, remember she needs you to reassure her that you have feelings as well. Cause I think she's unsure of how you feel about her

[Asker]

Yeah I understand that, thanks for writing what you think sometimes it helps to get an idea. It’s just so frustrating and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her. I just wish she’d communicate with me more. I guess I have to make the first step though and reassure my feelings towards her

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, i apologize on her behalf hahaha... we girls can be complicated but I'm sure if you reassure her she'll be at ease and continue connecting with you more

[Asker]

Haha ok I’ll try and talk to her/reassure how I feel and hopefully ends this confusion. Thanks 😊

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah all the best amigos... Also ask her why she is acting like that in a kind caring way, if you go on in a argumentative tone even if its through text she'll panic and you'll just scare her... but i assure you she has feelings for you

[Opinion Owner]

She won't honest unless she knows you have feelings as well... she will keep denying and won't be honest if you don't have any feelings cause in her head she's like " even if i tell him why i feel like this he will not. care and just ignore me cause he doesn't have feelings for me"

[Asker]

Yeah I actually did ask her earlier why she was acting like that and think I did scare her. I didn’t mean to come off as argumentative but it was frustrating me. And that’s spot on I dont think she will admit it before I do because what’s the point if she’s unsure how I feel, what’s she going to benefit from it if she thinks I’ll reject her after

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah you're right. But people are different, she may be thinking like that cause maybe you both aren't dating or in a relatioship and just friends so she will have that insecurity that you have a great chance of finding someone else and leave her which in my opinion would break her. Which is why she needs that reassurance, in order to be able to open up to you cause she will feel that security that you both share the same feelings, cause imagine sharing your feelings to someone and they don't reciprocate, its just two people who aren't in the same level of understanding. Also for me one reason that I was scared of talking straight to him about whats bothering me is because we weren't dating neither in a relationship and no matter how much i try to reach out to him and explain what was bothering me whenever he asks if something is wrong is because i am coming from the narrative " If i tell him what bothers me or i feel insecure, jealous or upset about. What right do i have to ask him that question when he doesn't see me as his girlfriend or potential love interest? I'm just gonna look stupid and ridiculous and probably scare him off.

[Asker]

What were the kind of things you did to reach out to him? Yeah I understand all that now, didn’t really think that much about it how she may be feeling about it but now get a better idea. It’s sad when people miss chances in life just because we have a difficult time communicating are feelings. I’ll make sure I’ll open up to her and just she what she says.

[Opinion Owner]

Did she ever told you that she has feelings for you before?

[Opinion Owner]

For me it wasn't that i was indecisive. I loved him a lot which made me feel and think the way that i had explained above... At first I was so depressed about how i feel so i prayed asking for confidence for nearly 3-5 months before i revealed my feelings to him. He was accepting but i wasn't sure if he loved/liked me back... he did say he like me which was when we started talking like a year ago... even till now i'm still not sure if he likes me like that.. whenever i tell him that i loved him he never says it back,... that made me overthink a lot and what made it worst was that i have a habit of watching dating coaches articles and all just to figure out why he acts like that... they all proved that he doesn't love me, but he acts like he does, whenever he asks if i was okay? And if anything is wrong? I'll just say i'm fine, just stressed with school ( which is a huge lie) and i would cry afterwards and feel alright again. Then he starts replying late for a day, then 1 week then it went to 2 and 3 weeks... whenever i speak to him its like our conversations isn't like before, we use to vibe very well. But whenever i try to tell something to him, he doesn't pay much attention or interest and shifts the topic to something that he feels interested in, its like he doesn't pay attention to what i try to say,... and when i saw that i kinda felt unheard in our connection and it just made me extremely sad.

[Opinion Owner]

Everything was always centered around him,.. which is why i got distant and just cry at night, whenever i try and give him opportunities to open up to me, he denies or change the topic😥... whenever i send him love songs his responds just shows how he doesn't take it seriously, he talks about other girls to me which just made me feel so jealous... and i try so hard not to cry, whenever i want to share if i'm sad or low he would respond so coldly to me, the type of uncaring response like.. well welcome to the real world... and then change the topic to something that he finds interesting

[Opinion Owner]

I feel. unappreciated when i'm around him. Whenever i feel sad because of that,.. i just wanted to distant myself so i can just cry alone.. those little things that he does may seem trivial but it has a great impact on how i feel... his actions told me that i was just being a nuisance and bothering him... i try to. make the effort to message him when i wake up... but after he treats me. like that i stopped messaging and got scared of him, fearing if i say good morning or message him during the say he might think i'm being annoying

[Opinion Owner]

So i thought maybe i'll just let him message me whenever he finds convenient... and then a week goes by he didn't message. Only messaged when he was horny... which really made me sad

[Opinion Owner]

Now he is blaming me that I ignored him and i didn't give him my full attention. I treated him so cold. I also needed him to make efforts for me

[Opinion Owner]

That i treated him so cold... what he doesn't realize that his actions scares me... i don't have the confidence to tell him whats bothering me because he will just reply with an uninterested response...

[Opinion Owner]

And then after getting intimate with me he said he just wanna be friends which just pissed me off and made me cry for weeks and it affected my concentration in my studies

[Opinion Owner]

You see i did my research on if he likes me or not... and since he didn't tell me that he likes nor love me... i had no option but to interpret his actions based on the articles and research that i personally did

[Opinion Owner]

Which made me overthink a lot. He is blaming me and I can't fight back with him because i am sooo tired and in so much pain that i'll just let him blame me. When deep down he doesn't know how he also hurt me too. He always made me feel like an option, it seems like there is a girl that he is still interested in maybe his ex I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

I really hoped that God would open his eyes to see how his actions makes me feel sad... since we're not in a relationship neither dating, i will crave a lot of reassurance and just to know that he has feelings for me will make me feel like i'm not alone and not the only crazy one who is in love

[Opinion Owner]

I don't really mind if we're not dating and be treat each other with the love and care we deserve because we're both seeking to achieve our goals and later may pursue anything further when we're ready. But i just needed his reassurance and for him to open up to me as well

[Opinion Owner]

Also make efforts for me too... the way that i make him special is the way that i wanted to be treated too... we both have different love languges so if only he learned mine as well.

[Opinion Owner]

For me tone in his text the words really matters, i look into little details... so for your girl she might be facing the same issue

[Opinion Owner]

I even ended up creating a quote account... to express myself and hopefully he sees it which i know he has seen it... but he hasn't replied to any of my messages because he blames me for all sorts of reasons on why i became so distant

[Asker]

No she didn’t tell me exactly that she liked me but I can tell. Every time I see her she acts like something is bothering her and she wants to tell me something but holds back from saying something and I think that’s her feelings towards me. She said exactly that when I asked her if anything was bothering her and she denied and said it’s school. I thought she was not being honest with me and now I know she wasn’t haha.

Yeah it seems like you do put in a lot of effort for that guy but he doesn’t return the favour. I don’t think he sounds like the right guy there seems to be red flags and I definitely wouldn’t tell a girl I like about other girls that’s disrespectful towards her.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeahh you're right... so i'm deciding to do whats right and be at peace

[Asker]

Pray someone else better comes along, someone that can give you what you want and need in a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

Yes i surely will... thank you and all the best with your girl

[Slartybartfast]

She's ether a total flake or is trying to manipulate you.
Ether way you're best to avoid her.

[jahaims]

She has a back up guy or ur the back up

[grega239]

I guess she can go play games with someone else

[Dingdonginmymouth]

Dump her. She’s playinggg ggames